What are some of the dumbest hijinks your party has been involved in, Veeky Forums?

What are some of the dumbest hijinks your party has been involved in, Veeky Forums?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=7iBFIlHDZx0
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

There was a magical forcefield of psychic "fuck you" that would repel us with horrific visions.

We came up with a plan for one of us to push the other through with a pole

Needed to hide our identities. We knew that no matter what, we would be unable to make a disguise that wouldn't be immediately noticed as fake - didn't have nearly enough relevant experience, nor contacts to do it for us.

So we disguised ourselves as... ourselves. Figuring that our opponents would think "only absolute madmen would disguise themselves as themselves".

After an extensive firefight and collateral damage, we're now widely known as absolute madmen.

>playing Only War
>Vostroyan Firstborn doing training excersizes in the bowels of a cruiser
>Fireteam of 4 PCs (Sergeant, 2 Weap. Specialists, and a Psyker)
>get seperated almost immediately
>One of the Weapon Specialists gets his legs blown off when a combat servitor's ammo cooks off right next to him
>Psyker rolls doubles, rolls a 90 and then a 33, and blinks out of existence for 9 rounds
>Other weapon specialist discovered he was a latent psyker when he accidentally summoned a potato out of the warp (Joke roll that ended up landing on a 1)
>All this happened in a 20-minute training excersize against servitors with rubber bullets
I am deeply concerned as to what will happen when they enter actual combat

I posted this once before, but here it is again.

>Our party once had a simple assignment: assassinate an enemy noble. Said noble was throwing a party soon, so we decided to pull off our daring plan during the distraction of the party. Speaking of the plan, it was a fairly simple one, having only one step.

>1. Poison his drink

>Any steps before or after this one would have to be improvised. Finally, the time came and the would be assassins sprang into action, acquiring the disguises necessary and sneaking into the party. Almost immediately the bard was searched and his hidden dagger was nearly revealed, but he managed to talk his way out of it. Meanwhile, the others spread out, and the rogue managed to find our target on the dance floor. She started to seduce him, and the two left the ballroom to go somewhere more private.

>Now alone with the target and with the cover of the party to mask any sounds, the rogue stuck to the plan. She, too, had a hidden weapon, a dart, and enough sneak attack dice to reduce the noble to salsa, but that was not the plan. The plan was to poison the drink, and that's what she did. That part went according to plan. With the noble dead, the rogue suddenly remembered that the party was asked for proof of the deed, and so went to find the bard, the only one with a weapon good enough for what came next.

>They cut off the noble's head and stuffed it in a pillowcase. So the bard threw the bagged head out the window where the wizard was waiting, having been informed of the revised plan and finding no problems with it. So while the assassins were leaving, the body was discovered. A fight broke out, during which the cleric busted several skulls and the bard conjured a fearsome illusion, before breaking and running with the rest of the team.

>Success.

what a cute happy dog

Long ago, they once tried to get into an orphanage, made out of dry wood and thatch, by using a spell to make what was basically a magical propane torch to burn their way into the back so they could talk to one of the orphans on the q.t.

It worked about as well as you expected. Massive fire, about half of the kids died, including the one they wanted to talk to.

...

Broke the raven queen out of Orcus' clutches by having our liche/rogue do a halo drop in the shadowfell to her spire, which had been conquered by Orcus. Meanwhile, the rest of the party marched on his fortress and the howling demons in front of it with our combined might. A company of minotaur berserkers, vampire thralls, 3 platoons of pikemen, 2 platoons of warforged, and the PC's and their various allies. We were level 21. Just having received our epic destinies.

Of course, the plan was also to gtfo as soon as the raven queen was secured. Playing the minotaur barbarian leader, I had a thing about quitting fights, and when my allies saw me committed, joined en mass. We won, although with cost.

How badly fucked in the head did they wind up as?

>this story

Remember when D&D wasn't about retelling avengers stoires, pretending it was your totally le epic adventure?

The DM stopped us before we could go through with our completely flawless plan that obviously would have worked.

We got into a car chase with cops, and our rogue ended up hanging on for dear life on the back of a speeding cop car.

Instead of trying to slow/stop the car, hetried to lockpick the trunk and steal their shotgun and gear.

He rolled a 20.

The primary flaw in your plan was that you didn't use the stick to beat the person unconscious first. Psychic visions can't torment you when you're unconscious!

>Orc Dad grounded Our party leader
>Our monk goes spiritual for 3 days
>I sit and study a Caged Chimera for 3 days cause I want to be a beast master
>I'm lookin into that thing's soul
>Orc and Monk think it's a good idea to chuck wearshark steaks at me
>youdinfuckedup.jpg
>I throw the steaks into cage
>Chimera gets pissed and knocks down cage
>Mfw Orc guy almost gets Rekt
>Mfw Monk and Orc fought it alone
>Mfw I got a Chimera fire gland flamethrower

No, no, they can except now they have the power of the concussion dream. The key is that the party member can no longer run away!

My players once enslaved a gnome village and used their slave labor for industrial chocolate bar production. Another time a player stole someone's pants while they were wearing them and did so well on the hide check I decided they created a pocket dimension.

Assuming the player even remembers what the barrier tried to force in his head while unconscious the solution is all too easy: hit him some more until he can't anymore.

That party was just a bunch of quitters. Stop making excuses for them.

> Psychic visions can't torment you when you're unconscious!

YOU BRILLIANT BASTARD!

>That party was just a bunch of quitters.

Dude it was the DM who stopped us with another member getting a flash of brilliance or some stupid bullshit.

We were all set to go with our brilliant push-dude-with-pole plan

Now to roll to see how far we can toss his ass! Anyone take the feat Caber Toss?

>Dude it was the DM who stopped us
No worries, user, nobody is being serious with this, for what it is worth.

Nah, tossing runs the risk of losing momentum. Pushin with a pole allows the "rider" to go further based on how long the pole is.

Tossing is more fun. The pole is just backup if he doesn't make it all the way through, especially since we forgot to tie an emergency rope around his neck to pull him back.

Marvel Superheroes Tablteop from the 80s

>We need to get in to a law firm and steal some documents.
>None of us are sneaky fucks.
>Only way we are getting in undetected is with a distraction.
>No exit on the second floor fire escape, seems a good place to start
>Guy has animate drawing, rolls a red feat (equivalent of a natural 20)
>Ornate revolving door suddenly appears.
>I have conjuring so I summon a bear.
>Red Feat
>Stream of bears through a revolving door into the second floor of a downtown office building.
>We got in and out with out any resistance.

>party
they like their characters too much to get into REAL hijinks.

I ran a last minute solo session with GM once where I utilized a massive street urchin population and taught them to make shivs. Then paid them to follow me to a low-level BBEG hangout and wait for my signal in case things went south.

Then I deliberately derailed negotiations for some 'protection' money and when the guards closed in I just stood there and whistled while about 20+ 8 year olds swarmed the guards with shivs (which was effective despite a high casualty rate) and finished off the ugly arse behind the counter myself.

Of course, after that every orphan in the city became incredibly hard to work with and hostile, either through good logic (orphans die when I get involved) or GM intervention (I don't want my players circumventing every challenge with a child army).

DC Adventures
>Villians of the Lawful Evil, Lex Luthor sort. Our slogan, "We do good things for bad reasons."
>Own a creepy looking manor in the middle of nowhere with a rainbow neon sign that says "We're Not Pedophiles."
>take out other supervillians to make ourselves seems trustworthy.
> Ian Michael Seikowitz( pronounced psycho-wits) has several phds in psychology and behavioral health, convinces Arkham to let us run a sister location and take in some of their overflow
>Plan a heist with Cheetah
>Don't show up, she goes it alone.
>Show up in time to "save the day" by the illusionist, who has now picked up Telekinesis, holding her in place while we cream her with our A Team van.
>Ancient cosmic being who was tricked in to mortal form by Mister Mxyzptlk runs for mayor and wins using the good graces earned by our exploits.
>Today the city, tomorrow the world.

Homie, this isn't about fun.

This is about coming up with the objectively most flawless plan.

I don't see any flaws in that plan so I don't know what you're griping about.

You can tell how flawless a plan is by how hard the DM facepalms. True fact.

That just means you've obviously taken the easy mode through his supposedly complex dungeon and pushing him to the verge of tears. Asshole can't outsmart an decent, hardworking, American selection of players.

This. Whenever a DM facepalms or asks "are you sure" they are trying to punk you out of doing the best possible plan for the given situation. They are just upset you came up with such a clever solution instead of their roundabout bullshit.

Personally I love it when my players come up with a clever solution that might work. I only say "Are you sure?" If it's something that's REALLY stupid and going to cause death and/or maiming.

Oh, I remember reading that storytime.

Silly players, am i right?

Not their fault. That orphanage was obviously a fire trap to begin with. Dumbass orphans were asking for it.

Dubs confirm the truth

First campaign I ever played was a 3.5 tutorial one. My group was part of a special unit within the country's military.

>receive task to assassinate a merchant who had been found out to be smuggeling some very illegal shit
>(the country's laws were very strict on that kinda shit)
>have to do it in a way that a)leaves no hints to the military or us and b) sends a signal to all smugglers in town
>make up elaborate plan to storm his mansion, cut off his pinky (a smuggler's punishment) and make it look like a robbery gone bad
>rogue spies into the wrong window, gets arrested
>screw plan, go in and slaughter everyone inside
>fighter buddy cuts off pinky off a coup de graced merchant who'd bled across the floor
>leaves footprints in the blood
>have to burn down mansion to hide our trail

Luckily it was a tutorial or else our DM wouldn't have been so easy on us. Who knows what would've happened in a real campaign.

Thinking about it the orphanage was surely getting all kinds of donations from religious charities and the kingdom to maintain operations. The shitty state of the place is because they were no doubt funneling the money into illegal drug production. I bet they weren't even kids. All gnomes and shaved dwarves.

The fire was no doubt a coincidence. They heard the adventurers trying to get in the back, someone panicked and knocked over the alchemy supplies. A nasty chain reaction later and the place burns down.

So really those adventurers were involved in a major drug bust. They should have each gone up at least one level. As per the usual the DM screwed them over because he was pissed they broke his Breaking Bad plot twist.

So one time, the party leader was absent (mine, because I was substitute DMing for a few weeks).

So the star of the show takes over. And she decides she's going to act leader like, because no one else would. They were in a town in the middle of the Congo, trying to get footage of Mokel Membe Membe. It become clear that the locals will all tell you that they have seen it and can tell you where to find it for money.

So, she has the bright idea, to pay the entire village, so they can get that shit out of the way and actually talk about the damn cryptid.

So, she starts asking where she can get a lot of money, and she's willing to write a check for it. In fact, let me make this clear at this point.: Rich Heiress to a huge African Mining and Arms fortune.17 wear old white girl. In the middle of the Congo, looking to get a lot of money in cash.

And it gets worse from there. After a bit of a mistranslation, the locals believe she's her to 'buy the village'. She confirms that's what she wants to do.

"OK, we can do that."

A few minutes later, a few shady guys with Kalishnakovs show up in a GAZ-67,and say they can take you to where they can buy the village and get a lot of cash. So, the team, and their camera car, follow them down a dirt road, then off the main road, right into an armed camp. It took until they were past the HMG emplacements for her to realize what was happening.

They then get brought before an African Warlord. And this girl, she cannot tell a lie to save her life, for even petty things, attempts to bluff her way passed an African Warlord by claiming she's a missionary here to do charity work. The warlord just lets her talk and talk because this is actually funny.

The remaining co-star doesn't stop this, because she's a mid-functioning psychopath at best and thinks this will be good TV.

And the funniest part about it, the missing party leader, is a sloppy fallover drunk that they usually have to bail out of trouble. And with her gone for 15 fucking minutes, and the 'responsible' one trying to lead, she got the entire crew kidnapped by an African Warlord.

I like how accurate your story is. Both in the cluelessness of how Africa works and how the warlord would react.

This sounds exactly right for Only War.
Our Sergeant decided 'Fuck the Inquisition' after we had a minor Xenos/Chaos encounter and tried to pull an explosive collar off of his neck.
While in a Chimera.
With the rest of the squad sporting collars.
And the bottom of the Chimera was apparently lined with detpacks.
Good times.

>Shadowrun
>Hacker is out for the day, only left with Mage and Face
>Both have 1 Logic

The campaign was set in Brazil and we were trying to start up a gang with some territory and we came across a neutral territory full of wizards who just want to be left alone and have all of their terf guarded by a massive mana wall.

They just want to be left alone the constantly reiterate to us.

The two of us with our brilliance of 1 Logic decide that they could be a valuable ally so we try to negotiate, and fail spectacularly due to glitch.

Wue to the of us spending the entire session attempting to even just communicate with them and even attempt to bust down the wall.
Eventually the mages get pissed of enough that one comes out face to face and screams at us what do we want.

"We just want you to leave us alone."


.......

"The wizards take 50 Force damage to the brain, they die."

You got that from The Jaunt right?

By the 4rth post down I was reading everything in Lahey's voice

Finally, an excuse to post this screencap.

Continued in part two.

Finale.

Raising a bunch of traumatized undead children into traumatized undead 'adults'
And then several of them starting a paladin order, of stag skull headed undead knights.

Shit was tricks.

so we have a game going on that's basically D&D meets miami vice, the land of Kalina Dome (pronounced "dough-may") that involves a biker gang fighter, a backyard wrasslin' bard, a hair metal band member looking half orc cleric of thor, among a few others.

too many adventures to name, even if it's only been 3-4 sessions deep. but if there's one that must be told, it's the legend of the hero of kalina dome.

so, during the second session we end up driving downtown in a big-ass truck and a few of our members on stolen bikes, making our way to the local monastery of one Shin Riverfist, monk and professional cool guy. along the way we make some ruckus and one of our guys slams into a hot dog cart and sends stuff flying, a few dex checks later most of the crew ends up with hot dogs they snatched from the air, some of us got 18-20 rolls and snagged a chili dog, chips, a drink, and even got change back despite not spending shit.

further down the road, our bikers jump over some cars that are blocking the way through, and our driver of the truck decides he's just gonna ram anything in his way. well, the last thing he sees before hitting the offending cars was a kid sitting in the backseat of one about to eat his hot dog when he looked up and saw our driver throw him a thumb's up before slamming into him and sending the car tumbling into a nearby daycare where more shenanigans ensued.

the kid survived, was absolutely fine as a matter of fact, but he was understandably upset so when our biker fighter saw him crying, he picked him up, dusted him off, and gave him his motorcycle helmet and another hot dog, and thus we christened him Timmy Two-Wieners. he later went on to be the champion of the sewers as we were cleaning up the mess we'd made of the daycare, even earning the favor of the sewer-king, a non-magical wish-granting alligator the size of a school bus.

to be frank, i'm looking forward to seeing what dumb shit our GM cooks up for the kid in future games.

LONGER THAN YOU THINK, DAD!

What was the actual proof wanted? His signet ring or something?

The dumbest one would probably be the time when we destroyed a whole city by creating a composite elemental from the combined magical effects of a bag full of magic pastries that we smashed together.

Got one that's short and simple, but a doozy.
>running a three-person(me and two players) Anima game
>Player 1 is playing a FemThor Warrior Summoner with a fairly level head, if a bitchy attitude at times.
>Player 2 is playing a Teleportation/ElectroMag Mentalist whose bad decisions are often backed by dice that just plain love the fuck out of him.
>Hitching a ride on a smuggler ship.
>Suddenly a pirate ship appears.
>Make that wizard pirates, bombarding the smuggler boat with spells and shit.
>P1 hops on ship's catapult, sticks the landing on the enemy ship, proceeds to zap squishy faggots with mjolnir.
>P2 gets the "I have the bestest idea EVAR" and asks about how much a boat weighs.
>it's light enough that if he open rolls into Zen his teleport he can move it.
>Teleports over to the ship. Teleports the ship, but not the people on board.
>Me: "Where'd you teleport it?"
>P2 points up. "Straight up. About a mile or two."
>"Are you sure?"
>"Yup!"
>Ask him to high/low for something, he guesses right.
>P1 has to swim back to the ship, mages floundering in water, getting picked off by smugglers. P2 teleports back, goes below decks, after informing smuggler captain of pirate ships new location.
>Captain looks horrified, orders crew to secure themselves fast. P1 barely makes it back on board.
>Few rounds later, pirate ship lands squarely where it used to be, on top of the mages, with a shitton of force. Ensuing wave nearly capsizes smuggler vessel, washes captain overboard. Captain manages to survive by being a great swimmer.
>Needless to say, captain and P1 furious, captain scares the pants off of P2, then assigns him every shit(sometimes literal) task he can think of until they hit port.

I really could write an entire book of P2's dumb ideas, but most involve the words "Youhave a psychic railgun. It hits along a LINE. LOOK before you shoot."

You can't just say outrageous shit like that and not storytime it

All a fantasy setting
>a magical volleyball match
>learning the ropes at the high class restaurant
>making a metal band with musically retarded son of "THE AMBASSADOR"

Crashed a public airliner over a dispute with in-flight snacks.

This sounds more chaotic than lawful and I absolutely love it.

>party is planning a heist
>steal several briefcases of what they assumed to be cash
>it's actually cocaine
>decide to all start doing cocaine
>decide to steal a helicopter
>decide to try and pilot that helicopter, while high on cocaine, without piloting skills

You crashed a plane because you had an argument with the snacks?

Or you crashed a plane because of an argument you had over the snacks?

The second one is more plausible, but the first sounds like a much more interesting story.

Well you know how it is when a bag of coke you're smuggling in your rectum decides to burst mid-flight and next thing you know you're in a desperate struggle with a bag of peanuts - only to have the salty bastards call in reinforcements

youtube.com/watch?v=7iBFIlHDZx0

With a heavy heart I have to confirm it's the second one.

But thanks to you guys I'm definitely going to have an encounter against sentient snacks on a plane sometime in the future.

Saving not!Jewish kids from not!Nazis.
The plan involved gruesome death of the similar amounts of "ordinary" kids to trick pursuers into believing they succeeded.

That sounds amazing, do you guys have room for another?

There isn't that much to storytime, but here's the major details:
>before the game starts, a batshit insane wizard tries and fails to summon an elder god
>wizard escapes his execution after he is inevitably caught and tried by the leading priesthood of the land, leaves magic items all over the city to attract adventurers to his cause
>most of these are various pastries that have random magical effects, anything from intense hallucinations to growing to a giant size
>we end up hunting all of these down because we planned to sell them later, and our DM does amazing random effects
>timeskip past a bit of adventuring, in which we meet and join up with the crazy wizard and his demonic associates, who promise us anything at all that we want
>we're told to assassinate an archbishop to forward our grand agenda, things do not go as planned and we're caught, paralyzed, and dragged before the clergy for a trial
>the archbishop does a bit of gloating in front of us for a bit, the party cleric invokes the elder god's name and breaks free long enough to smash the magic pie bag
And that's where we ended the session for that night, running for our lives from a city-sized magical golem of our own making. Sorry for the horrendous greentext, I'm not much for storytime.

what the fuck is the point of greentexting if you're going to use full sentences and rambling details anyway? it defeats the purpose.

I don't know, I didn't write that.

I got one.

>Party is a group of small-time criminals and consists of a Cyborg with a built-in flamethrower and a very calm personality, a Vampiric witch who put herself before the party pretty frequently, a rich kid with a thing for big game hunting (and thus became party sniper) and a jet set radio-styled teen with jet skates.
>Party is taking the subway back to their hideaway, arguing. The witch has done something selfish again and left the party to rot, which meant a scam they were running fell through and left them with a handful of flashbangs (all they could carry) instead of a truck full of guns.
>Eventually they decide they want to be dramatic and give her a 'are you with us or against us' ultimatum before leaving her on the subway alone.
>The witch is looking at them like they're fucking idiots. They assume it's because she's pissed and get off the train.
>Realize that, in making their dramatic exit, they have gotten off at a completely unfamiliar stop in what equates to a flattened hive city.
>Things get worse when they realize the sector is attached to a giant cable car designed to get residents to one of two enormous spire factories, meaning the entire part of town starts moving FURTHER from the subway station after the train has left.
>Cyborg, Sniper and Skater are all stranded, with witch being the only one actually going back home. They decide to start asking for directions.
>Quickly find out it's a comet sector ('comet' is a derogatory term for crash-landed aliens who have nowhere else to go).
>Sniper's a rich kid, hasn't spent time around aliens, feels nervous as shit. (His char actually has 'uneasy around aliens' as a drawback).
>Cyborg and Skater decide to play nice, get into a conversation with a space pirate and his buds. They quickly realize the space pirates are watching a sporting event and start to root for the team the pirates are rooting for.
>They pal around with the pirates while sniper boy goes out for some air.
(Continues)

>Sniper boy runs into a posse of greys who aren't too keen on letting him keep his shiny rifle and fat wallet. He panics and blows one away, then runs back into the pub.
>Everybody heard the shot, but the drunk space figure it's nothing and that it'll only be twenty minutes before the district reaches the other factory (and thus another subway station). so if these new friends are in trouble they'll be fine in a bit.
>Greys don't wait that long, show up on jetbikes with molotovs and rayguns. Start fucking up the bar.
>A firefight ensues. Cyborg's flamer is keeping the greys at bay but is also spreading fire through the sports bar.
>Space pirate fucks up his perception, assumes greys are fans of the rival team come to start shit.
>Bar is burning, PD has been called. Police only g into alien districts with heavy firepower, so the PCs know the response is gonna be heavy.
>Start looking for any way out. Realize the cable district is going by a large office tower. They decide to grab some of the grey's shot-up jetbikes and make a jump for it.
>Most of them pass, save the skater. He manages to bail and land on a window washing platform, heavily stunned.
>Cybrog and Sniper are immediately beset by corporate security. Cyborg tries to talk his way out, sniper tries to buy his way out with his father's money.
>Suddenly, skater is outside the window. He'd held the window washer at gunpoint, and since the PCs had smashed the window on that floor in, he tossed the flashbangs (the only reward they managed to salvaged from their last botched job) to cover the players' escape, meaning now they were empty-handed, notorious and somewhat injured.
>Scatter once they get to ground level and regroup back at base.
>Witch has been watching little pieces of this on TV as the media catches up.
>All she thinks to ask is 'where are the flashbangs?'

And that's how getting off at the wrong stop led my players to directly cause a citywide gang war.

Greentext means emphasis in the majority of boards now. It stopped being used exclusively for quoting ages ago, so you can let that tired 'who are you quoting' meme die now.

Not as cataclysmic as your story, but during our last DH session the psyker failed the very first roll of the night when trying to sense what was behind a closed door, causing everybody to take corruption points.
Wee! Off to a great start!

Alright, buckle your seatbelts up, because I've never played a tabletop roleplay before, have nothing to contribute, and live vicariously through these threads.

Start of campaign at lv3. Had a couple events planned en route.
Short story, elves had been using bags of holding to smuggle massive quantities of opium. Players found one such shipment.

Later, they're about to attack an orc raider encampment. The warboss has a large sized riding boar.

They recall the bag's contents, and the rogue sneaks in, feeds it to the pig. It ODs and dies.

Unless you live in Southern California, you're shit out of luck, sorry bro

There are plenty of PDFs of good systems online and virtual dice rollers, all you need is some buddies and some paper. I'm sure at least a couple of your friends would be willing to try something out.

Our evil party quickly went to shit, as all evil parties tend to, when the rest of the party basically told the leader to fuck off. Said leader murdered our necromancer in the middle of the night, then attempted to sneak into the cult that the rest of the party was staying with and kill them.

The GM for that game was our That Guy, which explains a lot of what happened.

Strangely, I miss that group.

>3.5
>rift opens and drops us in Arkham, Massachusetts
>We stick out a little, but manage to get our hands on clothes for most of the group legally
>My character has the most normal clothes of the group, is already a human from a more normal world (Innistrad, just for flavor, ended up in their world)
>We're investigating a person
>Find their house
>Try to use diplomacy to complete investigation without trouble (my job, I kept putting points in diplomacy stats, saved my ass more times than I can remember)
>He slams the door in our face
>Plan B involved the barbarian throwing the halfling sorcerer into the air to fire lightning at the roof from above and burn the house to ashes

Still makes me laugh.

Oh man. My group plans to run an evil campaign after the one I'm currently DMing. Both I and the other DM of our group want to play in it, so we decided to co-DM the campaign by playing the same character, with two souls trapped in one body. Every time it switches, the other person takes the reins.

>I'll be playing a serial killer
>He'll be building an army

It's gonna be great.

>Campaign devolves in to memes and references to Metal Gear, Berserk, and probably some 40k
>Party member is already kind of Big Boss
>wants to make my character in to their Kaz
>DM says sure, if you roll a 1 on a d100 (roll20 game) you can get an encounter
>player rolls a 1
>me and another party member are downstairs in the bar of the tavern
>rest of party is upstairs in their rooms
>character is drinking wine
>why does wine taste weird
>this wine is really strong, it's making me woozy already
>keep drinking like an idiot
>pass the fuck out
>other character isn't drinking
>instead they get held up by knife point and we're kidnapped
>end up in a basement
>DM decides 'fuck it, we've gone this far, let's get darker'
>other player's character is a girl and gets raped
>my character loses an arm and a leg
>party comes and saves the day
>costanarmandalegtho.carlos
>other player has their character try to an hero
>party stops them
>this DnD group is degenerate so we already had a system set up for pregnancy
>other character is pregnant
>wait 9 months
>DM let my character get magical golem limbs to replace my lost ones
>rape baby is pure fucking evil
This was my first DnD campaign.