How does your Paladin do it Veeky Forums?

The ladies.
They enjoy a man in armor.

>Cute, defenseless and harmless husband gets raped by the BBEG and turned into a slave to her pussy
>Paladin gets sent a picture of her husband ahegao-ing and holding up double peace signs

>cute, defenseless and harmless husband is actually a highly-trained rogue who was sent to spy on her.

>Cute, defenseless and harmless husband is revealed to be an Orc

Can we combine these two
>He started out an innocent and loyal husband
>But even he couldn't win against the +5 Profane Pussy
>Now he's an obedient cockslave who functions as a spy behind enemy lines, all while pretending nothing has changed
>He was a virgin before the BBEG ruined him and his happy (only recently concluded) marriage

Mine is feeling pretty worn out desu.

Kinda wants to just cry and deal with her inevitable nightmares, but that would mean halting in the pursuit of vengeance.

Things got really, really dark last night.

You fail ONE fortitude save, and...

>Paladin is a petite cute maiden type
>Husband is a big gross rude orc with a monster dick
>She fights for peace and justice in the day, and gets mating pressed at night

But she loves him and can't help it, there's just something about him!

I need this, nippon. Don't let me down.

>She married him for his Big Orc Cock and endless rape
>He's average at best and kind of a prude

>The BBEG locked him in a tower and made frequent advances on him
>Though he was the very portrait of purity and innocence and prayed night and day, and hoped for his strong paladin wife to come and save him, eventually it was too much for him

That paladin might try to console the situation and say it was rape, but really the BBEG's foul influence was just too great.

>husband is just orc wearing a printout of Ryan Reynolds' face
>Lady Paladin returns home
>Hello wife! Me make good meal for us. Full of chicken and lettuce and other food humans like.
>"Aw thanks hun, you're so good to me"
>Lady Paladin actually incapable of seeing through disguise due to low Int and high Bluff rolls on the orc's part.

One day, she will find her parents - they abandoned her because they were ashamed of a hellspawn daughter, but now she's the paladin and a knight of the realm - now she has a title and riches, and they will accept her.
Sounds cliche? She also has an orphan necklace!

Oh yeah. The LG ones always like the monster boys.

What happened? Did she get knocked up?

Love.

I kek'd audibly user, well done.

Pure faith.

I base my paladins on Optimus Prime.

I can't help It. I love the archetype

>late at night.
>Orc husbando is reading Ta Krump a Squawkyburd
>Lady Paladin gets flirty, starts begging him to chain her up and "put my faith in the Light to the test"
>Husbando sighs and says he isn't feeling it tonight.

Loyalty, friendship, and daring where angels fear to tread.

Evil won't be smitin' itself anytime soon. And there's a hella lot of evil 'round this parts.

Yang is not a Paladin.

She is a Barbarian.

No, but plenty of boytrouble.

Poisoned, abducted along with some NPCs.
Wound up being freed by some other NPCs and fighting her way out. Most of the NPCs got worked over though.
Boyfriend/flame was semi-possessed. Also visited her while she was captive, drugged, and hung upside down and didn't do anything in her defense. Sure, semi-possessed, but...
Boyfriend's twin sister was tortured and rendered down into a soulgem/prison. It's a brilliant little sapphire that floats and sparks and skitters a hair off the surface of whatever you set it on. When you touch it, you can hear her screaming, begging, pleading, offering anything to make it stop. She wasn't exactly a pushover, and was PC's ally when possessed-flame and PC were falling out.
Their stepmother, relatively unscathed, but was being devoured by some betentacled monstrosity that feasted on despair and depression. It almost got PC.
And PC's estranged-but-beloved mother, a powerful sorcerer who was rescued part way (???) through getting turned into a soul-gem like sister above. Hopefully she's alright...?
After being released and roused, PC fought her way out buck naked and found out she'd been framed for sister's death. Person who had this all done to them died before she could catch him. His master is hidden, hard to locate, and responsible for her and Flame's falling out in the first place. She was also heavily drugged and listening to sister's incessant screaming (that only she could hear) the whole way.

It was a pretty rough nigh- couple of days, actually.

Mine's a barbarian too. Once you accept that their views on 'good' don't necessarily match, the actual credos for 'paladin' and 'honorable barbarian' seem pretty similar.

>not playing a female paladin who falls because she fell in love with the dashing, sympathetic, intelligent BBEG as they debated philosophy while dueling
>not being seduced by a handsome man of honor who just happens to be on the other side
>Not becoming a blackguard because your new husbando made such a convincing case and is so damn good in bed that you had to give yourself over to a new cause and deity more in line with his goals
>not becoming so obsessed with this new outlook that you would be willing to die for him

Hey, I didn't know that came in colours.

No reason you can't be both, aside from pointless alignment nonsense.

>Compromising your morals for sex

>Implying Paladin girls need partners

What's wrong with making a single, middle-aged Paladin woman who has no interest in settling down?

Nobody has implied that there is anything wrong with that. In fact, you're the first to do so.

saggy tits.

>single middle aged woman
>no intent to settle down

>turned into a death knight
>now they work in the same police department.

I like my paladin innocent and boyish, with chubby cherub faces and happy laughs. They try treat everyone with respect and won't think the worst about anyone they just met.

I want my villains to try and crush them. Induce them to despair, only for the villain to discover that paladins are immune to fear and quite capable of acting nice to hide their seething hatred towards injustice and evil.

I want to see the fear in evil's eyes as it realizes that when you push a paladin, the paladin pushes back.

I want the bad guys to learn that you never EVER play chicken with a paladin.

Nothing. Some of my favorite characters have no partners.

What's wrong with a little bit of sag?

It's a mindless automaton. It has no choice.

>She grows flustered when a young man sees her as a woman for the first time in over a decade

...

For the love of his Goddess.

He doesn't know any other way of life than fighting for a living, and he's terrified of the day he'll look back and realise he fell a long time ago, that he lost the righteous flame that he had as a novice.
So he tries to do good whenever he can, while feeling the weight of all the times he failed in that far more than the times he lived up to his ideals.

He puts on a good show and it's largely genuine, but he's secretly worried that this is all a mistake and he's not worthy of being a paladin, that one day someone more worthy will turn up or it'll turn out he was never supposed to be a paladin.
So he tries to paladin as hard as he can so that one day he will really feel like he's a true paladin like in the stories and not just a swordsman who also worships a god.

NOT THIS FUCKIN HOOR

Mine was in love with his Goddess.

He was born a noble, a Duke's eldest son, and stood to inherit roughly half a kingdom - but he never felt quite at peace with it all.

His uncle was a famous, undead-slaying warrior-priest of the goddess of Justice and Excellence - with an especial focus on martial training and the destruction of undead.

So he trained every day, and the first time he felt at peace with the world was when he was standing his vigil to become her paladin.

After his devotion, he set off on Quests around the world - always doing them in her name, like an Arthurian Knight might quest in the name of their intended. Turning down rewards, turning down anything that was more than he needed just to get by.

He owned one battered suit of chain mail, a plus one bastard sword, and a horse.

Anything else always had to go to those who needed it more.

It was kind of a shame what happened to him.

Husband is actually a huge badass, but she can't see him as anything but the cute little boy who she used to protect from bullies when they where kids. Also he's the BBEG

hey man, read this

1d4chan.org/wiki/Powder_Keg_of_Justice

its not about worrying about felling, its all about that when you fall you fall HARD, as long it is something worth falling for.

>He has secretly built up an underground organization that through subterfute threatens the very stability of the kingdom
>When his plans are foiled, his wife picks him up and simply carries him home
>He curses her name and swears that his hour will come one day, she merely tells him to stop being so cranky
>To them, this is an average friday night

Paladin in my group is powered by alcohol. He's a jolly fellow.

I never liked this story. It's way too melodramatic and I feel like that's a pretty un-Paladin mindset to have.

I generally approach my Paladins like Batman. He's got something of a deathwish, but still has his rules which he'll never, ever break.

I always find the threat or the danger of the fall infinitely more satisfying than the fall itself. So I try avoiding it.

To bring peace back to the wastelands and to basically be Doc Holliday from Tombstone

Not really what I was going for.

well, its a more human like way to see a pala.

Im not saying all paladins should follow this example, its just one way to keep on living with the "fear" to fall.

i just liked the history because its a mindset i always liked, if im going down imma take all you bastards with me.

Honestly...

I'll follow my God through the end of time and space itself. Through all torture and horror, nothing will break my will, tempered by the knowledge that my omnipresent, omnipotent, omnisicnet, and omnibenevolent God - in his infinite perfection - Wills me to do so. Repent heathens, for not even in death you shall you have any escape from judgment.

>tempered by the knowledge that my omnipresent, omnipotent, omnisicnet, and omnibenevolent God - in his infinite perfection - Wills me to do so.
Why does he will you to suffer if he's omnipotent and omnibenevolent?

Why does he will heathens to suffer?

Is he omniconsistent too?

Evil keeps trying to smite the young master and his sister. Nothing for it but to keep smiting the evil first in hopes it learns some day to leave them alone.

Look, nobody said my joke Paladin from a one-shot campaign doesn't count.

>paladin maid
nice! mind some story?

Paladins basically are maids though.

>Are you kidding? I just swept the land free of Evil.

OH WOW, user!
TELL ME MORE!
what happened to him?
here is your (you) happy now
wow its almost like this is a fantasy world and the concept of god falls apart in the real world
tips halo

>here is your (you) happy now
Yes.

...

Rage. That's it. A rage so pure, so cold, and so unstoppable that to call it a glacier is to insult it. He has no name, because he has long forgotten it. His face is scarred beyond recognition. All that is certain about his identity is that he is physically human, and he worships a forgotton god. His armor is dented and scratched, his sword is chipped and dull. But he will never be stopped.
It's revealed that he's some rando chucklefuck farmer that was in his religion's army that fought the BBEG the LAST time he decided to try to take over the world. The BBEG used him as a catalyst to keep himself alive while in hibernation. Unfortunately for the BBEG, who was a lazy fuck who decided to not finish translating that ancient spell. So, it kept the BBEG alive, but also kept farmer pally alive as well. The only way the BBEG can be killed is to kill the pally, but the only way the pally can die is to kill the BBEG. And guess who doesn't care about his life after 400 years in a cave?

He doesn't will me to suffer.
Suffering happening =/= Him willing me to suffer.
Suffering isn't evil in the first place; conflating evil and suffering is just that - a conflation.

Nah it works out in fantasy just as well as in real life - perfectly.

Cocaine, mostly.

>What keeps them going?
>mfw currently playing modern-day campaign
Ripped Fuel. Lots and lots of Ripped Fuel.

>Suffering happening =/= Him willing me to suffer.
He's omnipotent. If he didn't will it, it wouldn't happen.

Hell, if he didn't will it, there wouldn't be heathens.

Why'd he go and will there would be a bunch of people he'd need(?) to have other people punish anyways?

>Ray as a paladin

>He's omnipotent
>If he didn't will it, it wouldn't happen
That's utterly terrible logic. Being all-powerful =/= necessarily exercising that power.

Free will is necessary for meaningful interactions with God. A dog coming to love you of it's own accord means something more substantial than a computer dog that has no will and that you programmed to love you.

That's utterly terrible logic. Just because you irrationally attach more sentimentality to one than the other doesn't make it true.

Likewise, if it's all powerful, it by definition could do so effortlessly. The only thing keeping it from doing so is choosing not to. But even if you don't accept THAT, you probably think that this all-powerful head honcho made the universe... explicitly in the way that will become what it is. He's omnipotent, he's omniscient, clearly he didn't do it by accident.

>That's utterly terrible logic
What is? Greentext it like I greentexted yours~

I will not descend to your level. You'd beat me with experience.

>I will not descend to using basic propositional logic
Ite brah ;)

>nitpicking is now proposition based logic
oh i'm larfin

>nitpicking

>He's omnipotent
>If he didn't will it, it wouldn't happen
LAMO! AUTISTIC FEDORALORDS LOSE AGAIN!

Rough and an unexpected finger in the butthole, respectively

The knowledge that his actions have measurable effects on the world. Even the small ones change lives for the better and make the world a brighter place.

And the fact that, if its really needed, he can round up a small army of nobles on the simple word that he's a paladin so obviously whatever they're doing is for a good cause and will get them into heaven.

On her back.
and Chaotic neutral dickings.

could you be any less of a paladin

Could be a paladin of the God of Rented Ladies?

What would that even be like? Or the clerics?

And why am I imagining one of the tenets of this faith is, "God must keep His Holy Pimpin' Hand strong!"

There is literally nothing to suggest a Paladin can't convert wayward souls through pillow talk and liberal amounts of bed-creaking sex.

>God power keeps my pimp hand strong
That's more for martial artists than paladins.

Nothing says paladins can't be taught kung-fu from their god.

>What would that even be like?
St. Thomas Aquinas did at some point say something among the lines of "removing prostitution from society is like removing the sewer from a city". Maybe a paladin of a god of rented ladies would be the kind that guards and protects prostitutes and might even practice Sacred Prostitution (which was a thing with the Zoroastrians I think?), not as an act of glorification or even an alternative to marriage, but as a neccessary evil. (S)he'd sacrifice his/her own purity willingly to prevent the purity of others being taken unwillingly.

Or maybe I'm just retarded hurf durf me like traditional games.

Forgiveness. Once upon a time someone forgave them for a heinous transgression. By all right they should have hated them forever but for some strange reason they forgave them and taught them that forgiveness is the ultimate power and mastery. The Paladin wanders the world, righting wrongs and teaching that even the most wicked evil can be forgiven and taught how to forgive in turn.

"Don't worry, Ladies of Ill Repute! I, Sir Neckly Beard the Whitest Knight, shall protect thine virtue!"
"THEY'RE WHORES, STUPID! THEY HAVE NO VIRTUE!"

And then you stab that guy in the face because your god demands you don't take smack talk from no jive turkey.

But no matter how many times you do the Ladies of Ill Repute won't let you Lay On Hands.

What I had in mind was more like jumping in front of a horny band of orcs about to rape pure, innocent maidens and offering yourself up so they can remain virginal.

Captain Sweden is that you?
SWEDEN YES!

Why are paladins the best waifus and at the same time the best impure sluts?

Nah, his will has just been overpowered by the incredibly strong ego of his intelligent weapon.

That doesn't sound right. Sounds more like you'd just slap them around with your purple hat with the feather in it because orks gotta pay like everyone else.

I mean if your pimp god finds out YOU are giving your own ass for free, well that sounds like a good way to fall. How're the ladies supposed to compete with free?

>Best waifus
Paladin of either gender are the walking embodiment of virtue. They're not merely pure, which is something any woman with enough self-control to keep her legs shut can do. On top of that they're also brave beyond measure, selfless to a fault, dignified, merciful even to their enemies but swift and unwavering when the hour for action has come. In times of war they're stallwart defenders, and in times of peace the cornerstone of society. I dare anyone to tell me virtue isn't attractive.

>impure sluts
Two options:
1. Some frustrated faggots simply love to soil the impure.
2. Paladin are virtuous, but behind that they remain flawed humans with their own desires. The fantasy is to get a paladin to open up to you and reveal the full extent of her repressed sexuality. It's the ideal fantasy of the virgin slut, the woman who will gladly do the craziest shit in the bedroom but only with the man she loves.

tl;dr: Are the other classes even trying?

Purity and its corruption.

With sufficient AC in different equipment would a Mage have the illusion of armor similar to a perk?