My DM is a dick advice?

Hey Veeky Forums didn't know where else to turn,but I need advice. I'm currently playing my first ever d&d campaign, my buddy invited me. Anyways so the first few sessions were great and all playing as halfling rogue, but turns out the DM is a real stickler for punishment he's running DMPC's with ridiculous stats and in general causing a lot of bullshit. I called him out on it the other day after he threw a pack of bugbears at us. We are all level ones so there was no way we could have survived the encounter about 7 bugbears 4 players. Anyways calling him out has caused drama and I want some subtle ways to get back at him for being a shitty dm, I don't want to leave because this is pretty much the only game I know about.

TL;DR My DM's a douchebag, what are some decent methods of fucking with him.

You deserve everything bad that is going to happen to you as a result of this.

Try killing yourself.

No game is better than a shit game.

You will find other games.

You do not have to play with a shitty DM.

Trying to get back at him won't work, he is god in your world and has already proven to be one to just skew things the ways he wants

Why does someone ask a retarded question like this every day?

Ask the other players what they think; if they agree with you, confront the DM collectively. If he's not receptive to criticism and not willing to change the game to make it actually enjoyable, just leave and take the fucking group with you. Start your own game.

Otherwise, find something else to do with your time. No game is better than a bad game.

Just talk to your DM.
Being passive-aggressive just makes things worse.

instead of fighting the bugbears just run.

Running is ALWAYS an option. Clearly never played enough AD&D

Running may make you dead. In 3.5 a bugbear can simply charge you each time you move away, and if you run they just take an AoO and then charge you.

Would not expect less from an asshole DM.

That's what adults do, if he was an adult he wouldn't' sit around on Friday night pretending to be an elf.

I've been playing for almost 30 years and I've never once had a DM that would allow a retreat.

You've been playing for 30 years, and you've never had a DM that knew the rules of any edition of D&D?

just enjoy the roleplaying. When your character dies, have dramatic last words prepared.

Dying is not losing. Die with style. Beg the bugbears for mercy. Next time an overpowered group of enemies attacks, toss down your weapons and beg them to be taken prisoner, explain that you're a good cook and you admire their bugbear culture.

They'd scream "RULE ZERO" if I tried to point that out. But I find that no one really knows the rules for any edition of d&d because it's a shit system.

Not playing is your only real option, if you'r DM won't explain himself or fix his issue and sicks overly powerful monster at you for you questioning him.
Also killing yourself for posting memecat

How would retreating work in Dnd?
>You move 30 feet
>Monster moves 30 feet
I just let them get away because no sane monster is going to put up an endless chase, but were there rules for it?

I fail to see how pretending to be an elf has anything to do with not being an adult.

Well the rule would be that the creatures you fight up against are real creatures so won't endlessly pursue unless it's a sure thing.

>Why does someone ask a retarded question like this every day?
It's a common issue.

>were there rules for retreating and chasing?
5th edition D&D has chase rules that are separate from normal movement, although a higher move speed does help in chases. Also many people forget that the chase rules exist, so there's that.

I know Pathfinder has chase rules, and I have hazy memories that 3.5 had chase rules somewhere as well. Although if there were, nobody used them because they prefer to number-wank off movement speeds instead.

Dunno about other editions (I haven't read them), but the OSR game I'm playing, ACKS, does have rules for escaping from monsters in both dungeon and wilderness settings. I imagine they might have been inspired by similar rules in B/X or AD&D, but I don't know for sure.

Please learn how to write down ideas in an understandable manner. Also, you need to be 18 to post on here.

These, desu

>because they prefer to number-wank off movement speeds instead.
Jeeze that's dumb, I just was too lazy and assumed DnD didn't have it, not a great trait for a GM i'll admit, but I can't imagine anyone liking such a boring system based off of speed.

>We are all level ones so there was no way we could have survived the encounter

Then leg it, our DM threw a troll against our level 1 party and we loved it, we knew we couldn't fight it and had to play cat and mouse with it. Maybe we could have taken it down i don't know but we would probably have lost more than half the party and everyone kept failing fear test so we just legged it.