Females, D&D and ERP

Why is it that everytime I have a real female over to have a guest spot in my groups D&D campaign, it turns into ERP and nothing gets done?

The first two times was the same chick and she ended up hooking up with the Casanova in our group after the event.

I didn't think much of it and just thought it to be normal.

The second chick during third time was comical and everyone was joking but we didn't get much done in the way of storyline, it wasn't awkward ERP between two players alone and a DM.

The first three times it happened I was cool with it and rolled with it.

However, tonight we had a new, third female guest join the group for one session (fourth session with female included) and it went alot better compared to the times before but I think it might have only been that way because of some primping I did.

Before tonight's session I pulled the most handsome guy in our group aside,
the Casanova who always gets flirted with during the adventures at some point and told him that if our new female friend was to try anything with him,
to not go full retard and keep it light so that we could progress the main storyline.

About forty-five minutes into the session we arrive at the inn and like some type of magical clockwork, she starts getting cozy with him.

Mr. Casanova dials back the flirting about 80% compared to the other times and she's still practically pushing him down the stairs to one of the private rooms to be alone.

The bartenders pet dragonling sniffed a pepper shaker and began sneezing fit flinging fire everywhere and eventually onto the barrels of ale, setting fire to the inn at a rapid rate. Everyone got the hell out of the bar (except one stubborn elf who was set on enjoying his - last - meal) so the story wouldn't continue to go down the ERP path.

Now this was the fourth damn time its happened and I put a stop to it at the expense of losing the Scaly Scoundrel inn.

Is this a common problem for D&D groups? How do I prevent this?

I think having females around really boosts the morale of the group but some of these negative sides I'm seeing, I think I almost prefer not having females in my group.

And I'm certainly not going to kick a good friend and long time player from the group for being handsome, that's not his fault.

Bitches be horny.

Play with less shitty people.

Go full horror movie. Every time they try ERP have some sort of hard to kill monster break in and attack while they are both naked an vulnerable. Do it every single time. Eventually they will get the hint. Or maybe one of them will just die. Either way.

Play with less shitty people.

I've had a bunch of chicks in my games and have buddies with chicks in their games and they've had no problem.

You're having bad luck to the point that I'm thinking this story is made up.

Or just fucking tell them "hey guys, I don't find this fun. Can you do this on your own time?"

We are humans who have developed language to discuss our differences.

Beer isn't flamable

I recommend you tell her that if she does it with one person that she has to do it with everybody.

I mean, you've pretty much encountered the same conundrum that the entire world has been dealing with since we crawled out of the primordial muck.

Dude tries to get shit done.
Chick wants Dude to propagate the species.with her.
Dude is pretty much powerless to say no.

Look at it this way, the game isn't 'advancing' but it's still being played, no?

Let them snugglefuck it out of their systems and hope for the best next session. Eventually the novelty wears off and they'll want to game more seriously. Shit, back in high school the gaming groups were all practically tossing each other around in bizarre fuckbuddy triangles, but we all still showed up to game and never missed a session.

Good on you for empathizing with your groups Casanova though. If you have the opportunity to get laid IRL because you're fun to be around at the RP table ... that's just a win-win.

oh look its one of those threads where something that didn't happen is told in order to bait idiots.

user, the problem isn't the women. It's your Casanova.

The fucker got game.

tell your friend to take the girl into the closest room for fifteen minutes before the session to do the horisontal mamba, worst case scenario he's a little sleepy for the first half hour of the adventure.

>Dude tries to get shit done.
>Chick wants Dude to propagate the species.with her.
>Dude is pretty much powerless to say no.

I swear to god you are the OP trying to start shit.

I know you got a backlog of /r9k/ bullshit to whip out to "prove" your point so I'm just going to say /r9k/ plz leave and then I'm gonna rip this hook out of my mouth.

/r9k/ plz leave

Not even that guy, but this is how your post is read

>guuh, i hate it when other people don't see the world as I do, also I don't believe in any proofs that support an opinion I don't share, I don't even wanna see them to question their validity

>please leave my eco-chamber alone guse

When I play, all female characters have a menstrual cycle. "Safe days" and PMS are tracked.

ERP? I force them to roll dice for every part of it, especially if they're drunk. The DC depends on the compatibility of the character's Races, alignments, and current health or status effects -- since sex happens BEFORE the rest, you can't fuck decently while you're half dead.

The rolls:

Foreplay
Full undressing
Penetration
Endurance
Female Orgasm
(repeat Endurance and Female Orgasm steps as long as both succeed, but with increasingly high DC each time)
Pregnancy (Failing = knocked up)

Failing = "Humiliation" for both

Sober: 2 Fails = Humiliation
Drunk: 3 Fails = Humiliation
Piss Drunk: 4 Fails = Humiliation

Humiliation means those character can never have sex again for another 2 levels.

Pregnancy has its own rules, the baby's development and how it affects the woman is tracked.

The more orgasms the woman has, the more "Psychotically Attached" she becomes towards him. Her character loses most of her Intelligence when he's around, all of her Charisma around others, and if he ever gets seriously wounded she goes into full Panic.

Women love male attention (despite not very much enjoying men themselves) and will go to crazy extents to get it. This is why you have women wearing what amounts to a set of strategically placed strings in summer yet complaining about catcalling. Catcalling is offensive because it sexualizes them, when all they want is an ego boost.

Now consider that girls like the one you posted are representative of girls who play TTRPG. They're not too attractive, not too popular and tend to have mannish attributes (and not the sexy ones or the cute tomboy ones either, but the vulgar "will sip beer and burp out loud in public" kind). To these women, men who play TTRPG (not exactly the most popular with women) are easy pickings. These women need to just exist around them for attention, but if that's not enough some sexual teasing helps too. Especially when it allows them to get attention from the most high-value man at the table.

By the end of the day women are women, these women are just a little bit more desperate and have lower standards.

If you want game, invite a mixed group (roughly equal size of both genders) for TTRPG and make sure you're the most handsome guy at the table. You'll be drowning in ugly pussy pretty quickly.

I've never played a role playing game so this is the first time I ever hear about ERP. Anyone care to explain why how and when the hell this happens?

Apparently you've never been around women IRL either if you don't understand how, why and when this happens.

Yes you are and congratulations you made me bite again.

Now I'm done and done and done and done. This is a board about talking about roleplaying games and board games and which your focus on talking about gender bs instead of saying

>stay on topic faggot, just ignore the troll

makes me certain that you are the same /r9k/ faggot. Probably the same with

Ok, now I'm done done done done done.

It happens when people want to talk about sex and sexing instead of actually physically sexing.

Usually due to technical difficulties like distance, some just like the pretend, others want to explore the topic before trying to engage in it physically.

Barrels of ales are flammable?

FFS

>it's okay to be off-topic as long as my sensibilities aren't disturbed

>tg_has_changed
Top fucking kek.

Just play with less shitty people.

I mean fuck, at university I ran a group comprised of three guys and four females and no issue, and im now running a game of six lesbians with no issue there either.

If you dont want people erping, just fucking say 'and fade to black, back to the actual adventure'.
If they complain, just point out that they can get laid in real life, they cant hunt down the bandit king theyre being paid to render unto the country's law in real life. They presumably came to you to play tabletop afterall

This.

Or make them have sex on the table, in character, doing voices. I've done that too. Pretty hot desu senpai, even if they're ugly

Find better players. I've played with 10 or so girls in the course of my long gaming carreer and, while not all were good players, none of them ever brought ERP at my table. Not one.

...

Nasty slut

Is that the updated Descent?

...

What are they really up to...?

Looks to be one of the 4e-lite adventure boardgames, to me.

...

Satanic death sex cult if I ever saw one.

Probably eat the youngest if their characters don't win the game

Occult Sex Magic. Establishing a coven of witches with the male being the warlock

It used to only be freakish social outcasts who delved into such depravity... truly the roots of evil have spread far...

...

...

>those eyes

PROOOF! PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF!

And look, they drink the devil's piss for their diabolical rituals

What the fuck is that faceless abomination behind the head of the black girl?

Cause your girls are shit We have girls in CoC that's Call of Cthulhu not Correction of Co-records lmao but we have a grill who plays a gay guy and tries to avo8d sex. Get better girls or get guys and LOTS OF VODKA cause you'll be erping with sucking each others dicks more than the D and/or D less DnD more suck the D amirite?

Ever tried sex with GURPS? Way better

...

>>tg_has_changed
>Top fucking kek.
Not that user but slightly curious.
Is your kek derived from the filename or the image itself?
Just curious which concept compelled the kek from you.

The implication that Veeky Forums has changed.

This guy gets it.

They have ethanol if you can run a gay Prius or Ford Fuckus off it it can burn

>I think having females around really boosts the morale of the group but some of these negative sides I'm seeing, I think I almost prefer not having females in my group.
That's understandable. Just play the normal game without girls and occasionally have an ERP session with anyone who's interested where girls are allowed.

Ah, I see. Thank you.
I actually think the quality trolls has changed, but Veeky Forums overall has not.
Party on..

Oh yeah each turn takes 1 second so sex only takes 12 turns gg

How the fuck did you upload a pdf as A image I'm dreaming fuck man

You can understand it, though, right? I know if I was offered attention just for showing skin and everyone was sexually interested in me, I'd enjoy it.

Are you being serious?

I usually take the Poorly Endowed disadvantage so I can afford being Immune to Disease.

You'd be surprised

hownew.ru

It hasn't, it's still the exact same shit.

I wanted to say you are corrupting youngsters with bad taste in beer, but it is german one so nothing I could criticise. Not the one I'd chose but oh well.

Where's the fun in that?

>Poorly Endowed
>small penis or small breasts, as
appropriate to gender
>Women will take a -2 to Sex Appeal
rolls

/thread

m8
That's a shitass 3e "fan" supplement nobody ever uses.

>Lost Mine of Phandelver
I bet they had a great session :3

OP, stop playing with sluts and the manwhore. I've played with several women, not once had that problem.

>First girl played a hippie cleric in one campaign then a stereotypical viking in the second. Only time sex came up was when her characters boned NPCs off-screen. It amounted to, "Did I have a good time?" "*rolls* Yeah." and then we moved on.

>Second girl played a LG human fighter in a party of evil fucks. Nothing remotely sexual happened in game.

>Third played a talking cat that burned down a bar and blamed it on the NPCs who died in the fire.

If you still have problems and want a feminine presence nonetheless, I suggest playing with traps.
Fun times for all.

>playing games of pretend with the mentally unstable

Isn't that what we do everytime we play anything Veeky Forums with anyone?

Reading comprehension m8. I just said I DIDN'T have any problems. If anything, all the problem players I've played with have been men.

That was addressed to OP and an addition to your post, you tit.

My bad, seemed like it was addressed to me.

Just force "fade to black"

>Yes, we know your characters love each other and want to have "fun", but we don't need it described in detail in public. Not everyone needs to feel comfortable with that, moreso it is distracting to the game. So we aknowledge it HAPPENED but if you want to go into the details, you retrospectively act it out alone after the game, talking, on messenger even live action if you fucking want it, whatever. For now, your characters did it however would they do it, they're happy and ready to carry on with the adventure. Period.

Simple as that.

it's called anecdotal evidence, look it up

Maybe your group doesn't have the really hot guys OP's does?

>eco-chamber
Fuck, now I want to make a setting based on pre-EPA 1970s ecological-collapse dystopia sci-fi

> Veeky Forums why issit that when we have someone of the opposite sex in a table full of (assuming) straight males, it tends that sexual tension happen that wasn't there when there was just straight males?

>Veeky Forums, how comes it's the guy with admitely more charm that gets the girls attention?

Dude, if you are the DM and she's tossing herself at a player rather than you through an NPC or OOC chat, then you are a shitty DM, or ugly.

Being DM is like, the sexiest thing you can in a RPG table. Sure it's like being the most manly person in a nunnery, but still. You must be doing something wrong.

This guy has a point

>All these tryhards trying to appear mature and wise on an image board for discussing cartoons by saying "just be an adult and talk it out. god look how wise and mature I am like an adult"
If you really are as old as you're implying maybe you're a bit too old for this website.

I was 25 the first time I heard the phrase "too old for the Internet" on Veeky Forums.

Man, 2005 was a long time ago.

Being childish and not wanting to handle things maturely does you no credit and it's not something to brag about. I'm here because this is my hobby and because I like being here. My age is of no consequence. Plus even a 18 year old is already too old to be playing childish games rather than face stuff with frank conversation.

Repost this and tell the mod to move CYOA and Gamefinder threads off Veeky Forums.

You know

Small breasts compared to small penis doesn't seem like as big a disadvantage

>Being childish
Yeah fuckwad holy shit people are being childish ON A FORUM TO DISCUSS CHILDRENS CARTOONS holy fuck god damn at last I truly see you are right might and wise senior.

Don't you have a retirement home to be miserable all day in?

Are you serious making a point that trying to argue reasonably is a problem because Veeky Forums was created to discuss anime? How can you not feel stupid blurting stuff like that?

This isn't a children's website, son.

There is no arguing reasonable on Veeky Forums you old fart.
If you want that you go somewhere else.
Veeky Forums is not the place for being reasonable. Notice how all the more popular boards are notorious for not being reasonable? That is the target audience.
It's a manchilds website.

>fullretard.gif

You might want to loosen that fedora there, kid.

well at least he is making the best of a god-awfully awkward thing to rp.

hands down the most adorable thing I've seen in my life.

11/10 would play DM's game

Yeah, the solution is to fuck the Casanova.

This. Find players - male and female - who want to murderhobo ingame and anything ERP-like gets shitcanned quickly.

They both seem advantageous for traps

Having females around never boosts the morale of a group of men unless they're all getting sexed enough. A group of couples is fine, a roughly even group of men and women is okay, but if the men outnumber the women and aren't already getting pussy somewhere, it ruins cohesion.

Every single time.

No. Its odd as fuck to me that two people would talk dirty while pretending to be dwarves, elves or whatever while some other people try to play the geekiest shit ever. I don't condemn it, I just find it very very weird.

being able to play the fucking game

I don't actually get what your problem is OP. It's not like they've been derailing the whole campaign.

If your social prowess doesn't extend to the fairer gender, your best option may be to just keep it a sausage party.

Literally a lie.

Are you the same /r9k/ faggot?

I'm a DM and there is one girl in our regular group of players in my current session. Never was an issue and is usually the most cooperative of the bunch.

I actually had to introduce the "X" card because one of my players kept "jokingly" implying that his character is going to rape hers. It was pretty cringeworthy.