So, you Bandit Elites ... Can you explain to me how to deal with adventurers when ambushing...

>So, you Bandit Elites ... Can you explain to me how to deal with adventurers when ambushing? I mean me and the boys can deal with a few armed commoners, but when a fighter, a cleric, a rogue and a caster pop out of a wagon, well ... how does one avoid a grim fate?

Strip down in underwear and shank them with your..blades. Then when they're all aroused, you shank them with your blades.

Misdirectionheh and all that

Shut the fuck up and put all your money and valuables into the bag

Tell them you're only doing it because your Lord is taxing you to death.

As a rule, mate, don't kill the geese wot lay the eggs. Nor throw them a fuck. S'lot more boring, but you'll find people mind being fleeced less if they think you have some sort of code.

Everyone simultaneously fires their crossbows at the wizard, then cleric. Those who can go into melee focus efforts to kill off the rogue and cleric. The fighter might be dangerous but as soon as you kill the cleric they're not going to last long.

P.S. Flanking bonuses

First of all mate, you can hear a wagon with them sorts of people coming from the horizon. I swears, those types just don't know how to stop arguing with each other. Noblefolks are always so respectful and quiet, just stick to the wagons that ain't got a roaring debate about the ethics of raping elves inside.

You don't. You scout out your mark before you hit it, to make sure shit like that doesn't happen. And also to make sure the guy you rob has somethign more valuable on him than a wagon full of fertiliser, you don't want that shit either.

>pop out of a wagon
You lost.
Your goal is to set fire to the cover of the wagon, before they pop out, to remove their ability to tactically pop out after the bandits have revealed their position

Heck, you could use something like Blaze -> Frost Cantrip to remove the fire after forcing them out of the wagon

Never fight anything with plot armour mate.

Best you can do is strip down to your tattered undies, cover yourself in sheep blood and beg them to save your village from the horrible orcs and recover the great expensive artifact within. Then run away as fast as possible and never look back.

Honestly, you're better off pretending to be a coupla merchants guarded by a pack of sellswords and asking if you can travel along with them for a bit. If they agree, maybe you'll get a chance to shank them in their sleep. If not, at least you haven't stuck your dick into a hornet's nest.

Also, has a good idea. Adventurers are suckers for a sob story.

>spread out
>geek the cleric
Whoop

Surrender and make up a sob story about how we're only doing what we need to survive because... I don't know, injustice. Have the elf lad talk to them and pretend racism has something to do with it. Then just tell them you'll give them information if they spare us and let us leave peacefully.

Works like a charm on do-gooders.

Failing that, just give them the elf lad anyway and run while they cast Bigsby's Clenching Fist.

>>pop out of a wagon
Who said anything about popping out of a wagon? I said pop out YOUR wagon. knowhamsayin? Don't let the dragon drag on. Draw your blade and whip out the rag. Spit and shine. Get dem wheels turnin

These are all great ways to deal with those "Hero" type adventurers, but how do you all deal with the ones who are just in it for the money or power? A friend of my cousin's once ran into a party that included a Cleric of Bane and a necromancer, he only got away because he hid among the dead. How would you guys deal with that?

Dress up nice and greet them with a smile while walking on a parallel path, joking something about someone not being able to hold onto the map. Ask them kindly to help your group of "fellow adventurers" to the next town which is conveniently far enough away that they'll have to camp for the night. When they pick watch order have you and another person volunteer for the 2nd+3rd watch. Then silently wake your friends up and use your biggest and heaviest weapons to coup de grace one adventurer at a time.

Move very far away.

Capture an Owlbear or a Dire Wolf or something and sick it on them, and keep yourselves back and use bows and arrows. If the beast goes down, rush in yourselves with swords and axes and whatever to finish them off.

My brother was killed in an ambush of a Cleric, Rogue, Fighter, Paladin and Ranger. How do you deal with these guys?

Don't fuck with them. Just don't, man. You are going to get killed. Just walk away and rob some random commoners.

If you really want to fuck with them, first make sure to go after inexperienced looking ones. Get a lot of guys, arm them with ranged weapons. Focus fire at the weakest, frailest looking one first. Sounds counter-intuitive? The weakest looking one is the fucking wizard. Fucking wizards can kill you with one spell, just like that. Kill him before he can cast a spell.

Then focus fire on the cleric. That way, they don't have an means to heal up.

Then, you can pick off the rest.

Lots and lots and lots of fire. They're like spiders, you can never use evnough fire to kill them.

Sleep, Charm Person, And Ray of Enfeeblement.

Have a wizard with you. Make sure he's loyal and has access to a spell that knocks out all weaker stuff within a certain area of effect (color spray). That'll make looting low level adventurers a pinch.

But that pesky rogue will just evade it all

>be leader of a bandit camp
>one of the new guys goes off to scout out the village
>he comes back with a group of adventurers and claims he's an adventurer now
FUCK

> get in the bag now

>See the bag? Good. In the bag

Never jump a group just 'cause they look loaded. Good banditry's like good business; it's all about opportunity cost. That loot's hardly worth it if yah lose yer best bandits to get it, and certainly not if yah lose half yer number and fail to nab so much as a single copper.

You've gotta pick yer battles. Well rested group headed out for adventure? Let 'em be. Exhausted group dragging a couple allies back to the church to be rezzed? Now's yer chance.

Don't know which is which? A li'l scouting is in order then. Spy on 'em as best yah can and gauge their strength. Use a diviner if you got one handy. Kidnap a local one if need be, but treat em right; yer life hangs on their word after all.

Now when the time comes, if yer not a hundred an' ten per-cent confident you can take 'em, don't jump out all at once. Send yer weakest member out first. If li'l Jimmy goes down before he can so much as chuck a stone? STAY BEHIND YER ROCKS. Two or three rounds and he's still kickin? Get out there and finish the job.

This bit's another one where a mage comes in handy. A good necromancer can raise ole' Jimmy's corpse, an use him for several ambushes. 'Tis a lot less costly in the long run if yah can sacrifice the same bandit over an' over.

You still with me? Bottom line is, you wanna pick yer fights and only take ones that mean minimal losses. It doesn't matter if yah win if the cost is too high. A battle that costs you yer necromancer costs you a lot more in the long run. A battle that costs you yer own life is never worth it, not even if you got a high level priest on hand. Diamonds don't grow on trees after all. Pick yer battles right though, an you'll have more 'an you can imagine.

Lure them into a ditch filled with water, then trade them ladders for all their money.

>Freelancing
>Not offering your services to the local Duke as 'tax collectors'

Gitgud

What I wanna know, roight, is why everyone likes the blood pirates and not us. I mean, roight, pirates, they're just bandits on a bloody boat, right?

It's retarded. If you don't pack in a convenient area of effect the wizard has less damage output than the fighter.

Crossbows. Crossbows, high positions, and a whole lotta mud between you and them.

And make sure they actually die, otherwise all you will do is piss them off and end up like pic related.

Rack up your fuckboy points, try not to pick fights with other fuckboys.

>Crossbows

They also have a flag.