Who is the most obnoxious deity in your setting?

In a way, the Priestess has no power to overtly compel people to do anything but can cast powerful illusions that would not ping as magical by ordinary means.

The idea came to mind to subvert the evil younger sibling usurping the throne because a princess who is set to take her father's place as Queen is given the ring by her brother as a gift and she falls ill shortly afterwards.

The hard part is trying to find some reason why she would leave the castle, committ 'suicide' (because the ring doesn't want to kill her) and have her show up later after a few years in her new life to pour fuel on the fire of the idea that her brother tried to poison her and lead to a civil war that will break their kingdom apart.

Wain, the deity of perfection, strength, beauty, self-importance, stone, and skill at arms. To cut it short, Wain is essentially the deity of himself.

In the language of his followers(Wainish), Wain can refer to the deity specifically, the followers of the deity, a thing that is perfect and strong, or the children of wain (stone giants, also called wain).

The dwarves themselves are actually decendants of the stone giants who broke away from their patron deity. They are called the Duwain (Literally, not-wain) by wainish cultures as a form of insult, but they've worn it as sort of a badge of honor to distance themselves from the Wain.

Please, learned lorekeeper. Bestow upon us the wisdom you've gleamed from observing the follies of Olidammarra's acolytes.

Esteemed Lorekeeper, please tell me of the Olidammarran Exodus, for whenever I ask esteemed Grandpap, he gets all red in the face and hits me with his smock and tells me not to bother myself with such silly histories.

Tough call. Either the God-Empress Murasaki, or Akai'zhar, Lord of the Drow (both were former PCs who attained godhood). They also totally hate each other and tend to destroy whole nations in their petty grudge matches.

Murasaki is a sadistic angelic samurai who is utterly convinced she is the supreme deity of the realm, subservient only to the Lady of Stars, who is less a deity than a primal force. She conquered half the world and forced them into her Holy Empire of the Sun, forcibly stopped technological progress for millennia because she didn't like the aesthetic, and has rewritten history books/holy texts to make all the other gods look like idiots. She also married a demonic kraken and named it her consort, and has been known to beat people to death with chairs, tables, and doors ripped off their hinges.

Akai'zhar is a total edgelord shadow (formerly a demilich, formerly a drow lich, formerly a drider. He spent a brief time as a sentient mass of spiders, but that's of dubious canonical status) who rebelled against his drow brethren by being EVEN MORE EDGY AND EVIL then they were, and eventually killed the local Lolth expy and took her place. He forcibly bred a master race of paragon drow, who mostly spend their time gloating about how awesome they are and speaking in magical technobabble. He names every artifact or divine realm things like "The Ashen Library" or "Atheneum Aquarius". He's still very salty about the time Murasaki hit him with a door.

That would either be Matthias or Harr, the gods of luck and passion, respectively.

Matthias is also known for being a trickster and, while not evil, he can be kind of a jerk and enjoys messing with people. Very few of the other gods actually like him, but he's technically harmless. He was once a mortal that ascended to godhood by complete accident, but the many legends surrounding the event are varied and often contradictory. He insists all of them are true.

Harr is a drunk party-goer of a god despite being married to the goddess of order and marriage. They mostly keep each other in line, but when he's alone Harr is constantly in the hangover mode and probably singing something. He was also a mortal once upon a time, and it's more than likely drugs were involved in his ascension.

The other gods are not like this, especillay not the other former mortals. These two are just special.

Pyriphlegathos, lord of the first flame, patron of heroes, father of man, the eldest dragon.

Just an all-around massive asshat. He has an absolutely unwavering belief in his ownership of everything under the heavens. He created dragons in his own image just so that he had competition for that ownership, thus enabling him to validate his beliefs through violence as opposed to engaging in any deeper philosophical thinking. When that failed, because dragons were too prone to hiding under mountains sleeping on piles of gold, and he had not the patience to look for them, he created humans.

He spawned two entire races just so he had somebody to fight with.

Lord Fahf, the Chaos Diety.

I use him in the event of some rolling anomaly. For instance, I flipped a coin to see if a horse would run towards guards, getting a PC in trouble, or away from the guards.

Coin landed on it's SIDE, So Lord Fahf came down and took the horse away riding on a goat.

The Dice God.

In a campaign I played in awhile back, we had a pantheon of once mortals that stumbled onto godhood when they took a wrong turn and ended up in a newly born plane of existence. They set up their portfolios and promptly became trapped in their role.

Some of the more annoying were..
>Jurran, the God of War, who had split himself into two lesbians, one human, one a gnome, both paladins of himself. They'd show up at the wrong moment to escalate any situation into a full blown pitched battle. They loved hanging out with the PC's.

>Saenen, god of the moon. He was desperately in love with the goddess of the sun and would constantly move the moons around to try and impress her causing horrific, random tidal events.

>Phaidra, goddess of Love. She was a goth/hipster that took up the mantle of goddess of love to be ironic. She's known in whispered shadows as "Phaidra, the black hole of despair", and goes out of her way to ensure that the truest romances end in sorrow.

>Donndubhan, the god of Justice and Truth. Incidentally, his first act in the new reality they created was theft and murder. He keeps the fact that he is the original sin under wraps and blackmails/murders any that find out.

>Amatus, the god of knowledge. He knows everything, which has driven him insane, by everyone else's reckoning. He just kind of shows up, opens his mouth and modem noises come out, then leaves.

>Kalyani, goddess of friendship. A wallflower in her mortal life, her power forces all around her to be her best friend, and makes them aware that they're under her power the whole time.

>Micaiah, goddess of wealth. Not so annoying aside that one of her portfolio abilities is to hear anything said in the presence of money. She's also an economist and passes her knowledge to her followers which has created a global merchant guild and epic level tax collectors.

What is the most mary sue concept you have ever heard or seen ANYWHERE including media, shitty fanfics, that guy rants, unhinged settings, or internet arguments etc?

Like if some guy wanted to make his character the Biblical God times infinity but black for the edge factor.

I basically have David Foster Wallace be a Mythos sorceror in my Delta Green/Call of Cthulhu games. Infinite Jest is basically about the King in Yellow anyway so why not.

R'hllor is a cunt.

/thread
you are directly responisble for whatever the BBEG intends to do

Maneus. Created sapient mortal life. Got rekt by the other Gods because we looked like them and they thought it was meant as an insult. The Gods "fixed" us to be "better", and now Maneus hates everything related to us and would like to see us dead.

He's basically Alan Moore.

Now I sort of want to see the character sheet for an epic level tax collector.

Not a god as such, but one of the Deconstructionist-faction Caretakers. Humpty Dumpty, specifically.

His big thing is trying to restructure the entirety of the foundations of reality as we know it. He's actually set a plan in motion, because he's worked out that human belief is what gives those foundations strength, so he's trying to replace the common belief structures (organized religion, stereotyping, magical thinking, etc.) with more esoteric belief structures (conspiracy theories, obscure cults, Timecube.com, etc.). The fact that some of the weird stuff exists is proof that his plan is actually making some headway. The PCs ultimate goal, although they wouldn't know it, is to stop Humpty Dumpty's plan in order to prevent reality collapse on a Ragnarok-tier scale.

On a deeper scale, if the PCs want to PERMANENTLY prevent reality collapse on a Ragnarok-tier scale, they'll have to permanently remove Humpty Dumpty from his position as the Critic, and possibly removing the position of the Critic altogether. THAT will require either getting a sufficiently large number of OTHER Caretakers on-side, which is a hefty task given that they hate humanity, or them taking over the roles of Caretakers, and thus effectively sacrificing their humanity and ability to go home, ever, for the sake of preventing said home from collapsing in on itself among a huge pile of random fragments of thought, ideas, emotion, etc.

Unfortunately, the position of the Critic might also be a cosmic keystone in itself, so removing the Critic might cause reality to do the whole Ragnarok-scale restructuring anyway.

Pity that JAGS is such a bloated system. Pity that I also have no group I can GM this for.

Iomedae goddess of lawful stupid and Sarenrae goddess of #notallmuslums

>god of troll physics
Please.
Those two sound like great fun, in a sort of "spoiled tshitdere meets brooding fedora is humorous" kind of way.
>He insists all of them are true.
I love this guy
>Harr is a drunk party-goer of a god despite being married to the goddess of order and marriage. They mostly keep each other in line, but when he's alone Harr is constantly in the hangover mode and probably singing something.
So Zeus, except with cocaine instead of boning. Sounds like a swell guy.
>obligatory "Old Testament God was plenty edgy" and "Jesus was black/middle eastern-brown" posts

The God That Failed. He's kind of a fuck up.

The God's in my setting are aloof beings, unable to leave their respective planes, and so appoint envoys, emissaries and champions to do their bidding. Because of this, the gods as they are worshipped by mortals, and the actual gods are two very different entities.

Saedanzo, the Elf- Father, Lord of Sun and Sky, is worshipped as a no- nonsense, wrathful God. Birds are his messengers, and his Paladins wield divine fire used to seek out heretics, blasphemers and undead wherever they are found. His throne sits in the first ring on the High Heavens, where they think he sits, watching the material world and passing judgement on his people.

However, if anyone could actually meet him, they would learn that he is a drunken lout constantly throwing feasts and parties to celebrate how awesome he is. He doesn't care about anyone or anything else, and if it doesn't pertain to him specifically, he actively ignores it. The last time he chose a mortal champion, it was so that champion could kill another whose god was responsible for crashing a party.

I'm In our last fantasy game about a year ago, the pcs found a way into his throne room and tried to get Saedanzos help in destroying a giant cosmic squirrel that was going to destroy the material plane. Saedanzo said, "Dude, no way, that sounds awesome! Why would I help you puny mortals anyway? Do you even lift, bro?" And then proceeded to bench every heavy object he could find. The confused party was then kicked out because needs and losers aren't invited to Saedanzos parties.

Truth.

>he's worked out that human belief is what gives those foundations strength, so he's trying to replace the common belief structures (organized religion, stereotyping, magical thinking, etc.) with more esoteric belief structures (conspiracy theories, obscure cults, Timecube.com, etc.).
Why?
Also, why did you spoil the first paragraph?

>Why?
Because human belief is what shapes the foundations, and his ultimate goal is effectively changing the form of those foundations. This is only really possible through changing human belief structures, and the foundations take on the form that most effectively represents the majority belief.

None of them.

Because they don't care about the great majority of human affairs enough to interfere because they aren't supposed to because that would be retarded.

God of elfs, he's a whiny pissbabby that literally remade hell after the other gods destroyed it.

>his ultimate goal is effectively changing the form of those foundations.
Right, but why does he care about doing that in the first place?
Is he going to start a bunch of conspiracy theories and get more stronk or something?

Tzarel, the elder god of chaos. IE pure random chance.
He loves to pick on my wizard for some reason, probably because of how he reacts to shit. Some of these bullying incidents involve things such as:
>A displacer beast suddenly, illogically stretching its tentacles across the continent, grabbing a party member from the coast, and chucking them towards the wizard in the span of six seconds, which very nearly killed us both. This incident happened because the DM mistakenly mentioned it grabbed that party member instead of someone else, we gave him shit about it, and he rolled with it for shits and giggles.
>Sending the entire planet on a collision course with the sun because my wizard mentioned its the type of thing he would do, only for the other gods to reset the planet to default state after. Only my wizard remembered it, and it was traumatizing.
>Retroactively being responsible for everything that ends up annoying my wizard, as determine by a coin flip. Much of the time, the coin lands on its edge for this.

Although, my wizard is admittedly no saint. He made a fairly young/practically newborn god of knowledge constrained in a pitiful mortal body cry, several times. Once by laughinging her face when she failed at something very ironically, and the rest of the time by using extremely harsh training methods to trigger psionics, like tossing her off of a rooftop so she'll learn to stop herself.

Dulrata, a greater spirit and lord of hundreds of Fair Folk, believed to be one of the First Spirits made in the creation of the world. He's not evil, so much as a petty dick. For example, no one can develop a sewer system anywhere in the region where he lives, because he goes out of his way to sabotage it. He's also known to infect nunneries with minor but visually obvious STDs, switch messages being brought by carrier pigeons, and constantly demands to be invited to every major feast or celebration of the nobility on pain of stealing all of the clothing of anyone who forgets for the next ten years.

>Right, but why does he care about doing that in the first place?
JAGS Wonderland is weird. The setting runs on fiction tropes, literally.

Humpty Dumpty's job, role and very definition is "Critic". This means that his job is to critique the denizens of Wonderland, and to critique Wonderland itself. Changing it means that it could very well become easier to critique, making his job a lot easier. The fact that he'll cause reality to begin crumbling at the seams isn't really his concern. He kinda wants Wonderland to crumble a bit anyway.

LITERALLY Aqua-Sama
She's a third-tier goddess of springs, and the only reason the elves like her is because they have an extensive bathing culture. Being the not!Romans of the setting, they love their bath houses.

Seconded.

Goddess of Magic.

>>Phaidra, goddess of Love. She was a goth/hipster that took up the mantle of goddess of love to be ironic. She's known in whispered shadows as "Phaidra, the black hole of despair", and goes out of her way to ensure that the truest romances end in sorrow.
What a dick.

Poor god.

Akiba, the civilized race's pantheon's patron deity of adventurers, legends, and ice. She appears as a blue haired girl in her early twenties wearing a leather jacket and has a habit of meddling in literally anything that could be considered an epic adventure. She also seems to like agressivley flirting with her worshippers.

So far nobody called me out on it.

The lesser god of arguments and temper. He insists on getting into arguments with everyone, often blowing the smallest and trivial thing out of proportions. And it happens easily because of how easily angered he gets. He's just known as the "Yelling God" to mortals because his real name is difficult to pronounce, and he will blow a lid if anyone mispronounces it by even one letter. How he got worshippers is a mystery, but it's presumed that there's a number who actually enjoy his obnoxious yelling and screaming.

How does one deify Veeky Forums?

Do you feel like elaborating on this, or is this some oldfaggotry I'm missing out on?

Used to be Grom, God of Passion and creator of the Orcs.
He's dead now.

The Dying God

Literally does nothing but scream. His screaming would shake creation apart if not for his priests and priestesses, who must take on a small amount of his agony to soothe him enough that he merely gibbers distant stars to dust instead. This drives most of the clergy completely loopy, and reduces the entire thing to what is essentially a pain cult. They are, unfortunately, a necessity due to aforementioned reality destroying scream.

>The one that the player picked because of powers/spheres/domains?
No

>The one that the player picked because of powers/spheres/domains?
>... And didn't bother reading or learning anything else about it.
Yes. That is the most annoying one.

The god of madness. He's literally called "That One", and partners up with the god of pariahs almost by default.

>For a day, we sacrifice the civilization and sanity of the whole empire. We invoke fountains of drinks, talents to dance, phallugots to satisfy those without pair. After, inebriated with adoration and other things, we make everybody forget what happened.

>The next day, one sees the true extension of the powerful ignorance invoked by Maruxo. No one finds odd that a relative is missing, some causeless disasters, another body floating at the river. No one, except for those marked by me. The newest beggar at the main street, whose fogged memories are further blurred by me, by the power of alcohol, by the pain following the remembrance, by the effort with which the passerby ignore his words.

>Me? I'm just your imagination, of course. If you disagree go tell what I said to the others. Tell about what I did at your larder yesterday. They'll look at you with suspicions and uncertainties, put you on the other side of the frontier they put themselves, and you'll be with me more and more. Or not. Stay quiet, tend to this doubt of what or who I am, this light apprehension nibbling your nape from the inside. You don't have to decide, I marked you already.

>We'll see each other at the next leftover day. I promise that this time you won't forget. And if you unbehave well, I'll even bless you instead of the harassing. After all, everything has a good side and a bad side. Even craziness, even I. One of those kisses from That One for you.

The god of the land is kill and his "kids" just keep to themselves bar a few of them. One of the ones who roams is basically a dickass genie, so probably him.

Not my settings, but an old DM of mine used to have gods play a very personal role in people lives. Combined with him just frankly being a shit DM basically made them unbearable. I was playing a paladin, and I think I fell about 5 times over the course of the campaign.

On the other hand, one of the players who was effectively the favored of ollidamara basically got to do whatever the fuck he wanted, and rewarded no matter what. So yeah, it is at least partially just saltiness on my end.

The one that enables the wizards
fuckin wizards

the god of games and luck in our setting is kinda an ass, he's always appearing as a old man or very young girl, his whole thing is conning the pcs into impossible bets just to fuck with them, he also helps them at times but mostly just so he can fuck them over later

A dickbag named Terminus who can manifest himself in anything designated as a "gate or door"

He keeps the doors supernaturally closed and will taunt anyone who tries getting past him, only letting them be opened should someone use his "secret knock sequence on the door"

Said secret knock is actually just a single knock, but nobody ever tries that

I feel like it would be like trying to put cthulhu into a form that can be understood.

You would know some small facet of it, but the truth is that its an eldritch abomination your mind can't hope to understand.

The Gods of the Copybook Headings. A trio of smartass deities (Chesty, Kippers and Lewis) whose only job is reminding people of ubiquitous truisms and suggesting common sense solutions to complex problems. They alone of the gods regularly appear in the mortal realm in the form of a bluebird, a crow and a stork, who land on nearby branches and begin stating the obvious whenever a tense situation arises. They never explain themselves--but generally they don't have to, because they never use more than a single idiom that everyone has heard a thousand times to assess any given problem.

>Alright Lord Darkenkopf, I don't know you but I guess anyone has to be better than Prince Dickenhammer. Consider our alliance s-
>"STICK TO THE DEVIL YOU KNOW"
>Aw shit, it's the birds again.

'In an alahu ak Sarenrae' kind of way or a 'I'm a gender studies major' kind of way?

Oh hey, I'm a God and I made the list. Neato

Probably because you can't have a sequence of only one thing. Should be the God of misleading language

The goblinoid deities, He-Who-is-Both-Hirsute-and-Exceedingly-Like-an-Opiate and Jay-the-Violent.

>moody
>wise beyond years
>terrifying
>known for the worst and best ideas in her shining moments
>Is as inclined to fuck up your shit as well as helping you
>no long-term goals aside from fighting of boredom

So.. basically Lolth right?

What about deities of other people's settings?

they're all obnoxious beyond measure

Corellon is the deity I hate the most because he/she encourages the elves to be obnoxious assholes

>So.. basically Lolth right?
Nah, Lolth is pure troll.

bump

Loki
I mean that guy killed baldur basically for funsies