Excuse me, Commissar...

Excuse me, Commissar, but I was told that all new recruits have to provide you a urine sample within three days of arriving.

...sorry, sir, but the recaff cup was the only container we had.

The soda-flavored poptarts were a mistake.

I have such a weakness for fudge poptarts.

I'm with ya there friend. Those and the smores are pretty godlike.

You have failed me anons i demand quality original shit posting, we already have a guardsman edit. You can do better than this.

Silence yourself. We're talking about poptarts now in case you didn't notice.

Smores are great. Anyone else dip pop tarts in milk?

I fucking love the chocolate poptarts, but is it just me or is it always that one is never enough, but two feels like you just developed diabetus?

Absolutely. Though I do it a bit differently. Eat a chunk of the poptart, then drink some milk at the same time. It's really good and doesn't dry in the mouth.

No I get that.