40k head cannon

THE GREATER GOOD

Read before you post, fucking retard.

kys.

Also, given the unnatural lifespans of imperial nobles and heroes, and the relativistic nature of space travel, they could have agenda's spanning hundreds if not thousands of years!

A few of my headcanons:

Space Marines act all 'operator' like and hardly ever use melee weapons, those are mostly for show and morale.

Imperial guard is actually a strong, competent military unit, in most regiments at least, and they fight in squads, with modern communication, air and artillery support and tactical choices rather than bayonet charging everything. Those are also depictions to make life in the guard more glorious.

Sister of Battle's have small amount of 'gene' engineering in them. As as I saw once on Veeky Forums and loved it, they actually all bald and the bobcut is a wig to hide their head plugs that work as a sort of 'black carapace' but less advanced.

Grey Knights don't exist.

The Imperium is like...80% less formed by dickheads. They still dickheads but they won't sacrifice a whole planet or sector for personal vendetta between noble families.

Orks are +75% more barbaric and -200% less cartoon goofs. They are more brutal and savage than comical.

I believe that the forces of Chaos actually consist of a vast array of Chaos-worshipping xenos and that humanity was actually a very small factor in the birth (or early maintainance) of the first three Gods, with the majority being a mixture of other aliens that were around after the Old Ones and Necrons. That Be'lakor, the first daemon prince, was once a xenos, leds credence to this theory.

However, the reason that we don't see these Chaos-worshipping xenos is thus: The Chaos Marines are by far the strongest and most active of Chaos' supporters. If there's a mortal taking ground for Chaos, it's probably a marine. These Chaos Space Marines (and the other humans that support them) still have anti-xenos racism and so will opt not to work alongside these aliens, even if they support their God(s) of choice. This leads the Chaos supporting xenos to have rather menial background jobs, fight in more irrelevant wars or just dick around in the Eye of Terror.

chaos ARE xenos

dimensional xenos

A couple of mine;

That a good portion of imperial worlds have a very high standard of living and almost seem utopian, we just never see them thanks to GW's obsession with grimdark.

Ork physiology is even simpler than believed, a simple sludge encased within a tough shell. This sludge contains everything the ork needs equally spread around its body, making them so difficult to kill.

True, but most of humanity in 40k doesn't really think like that. To them, "xenos" means a sentient species that originated from a planet (or lab) in the material universe.

I imagine that Chaos Marines still have a "humanity #1" mentality and daemons are outside of that running.

I've always liked the idea (even if there is little to no support for it) that the Tau were a sort of experiment, maybe by radical members of the Ordo Xenos.

All of a sudden, you have a race on the outer edges of the Astronomicon's range, a place that the humans have trouble getting to anyway. This race is technologically adept, militaristic, somewhat expansionist, but isn't quite as genocidal towards humans as say, Orks or Chaos or DEldar. But they have enormous trouble accessing the warp, able to go somewhat FTL, but not enough to really ever realistically threaten the Imperium itself.

They're bascially a sci-fi version of what the Roman Empire tried to do in its last days, of settling barbarian groups at the fringes of their territory that they couldn't really inhabit anymore, to keep out more dangerous invaders. Because the Tau seem almost perfectly designed to be very powerful in their own little corner of the galaxy, but yet not able to move out into the wider galactic scene, and Imperial attempts to fight them have been half-hearted at best.

>I know what your thinking, but so long as man is held as the standard of divinity, it doesn't REALLY violate the imperial creed.

It's really the same you say? Your attempt at subtlety is heresy at its most insidious.

The Imperium isn't as much of a crapsack as it's made out to be. The average citizen is born, lives, and dies without much hardship or hunger.

The Emperor will die, and be reborn anew, and lead a second great crusade. Meanwhile, the astronomican will continue without him, once they retune the throne.

> Ringworld of Avatroid
Megastructures are still hanging around, and are often colonised without the inhabitants seeing it as any big deal.

Monotheism is a bit larger than the three ones venerating jehova.
If you venerate only your city god, it's monotheism too.

the point about the imperial guard is actually represented in much of the fluff -- BL novels on IG are always about a bunch of professional soldiers being professional. Except for the Krieggers.

there are plenty of female Chaos Marines, because breeding a race of horrific supermen to conquer the universe is their jam. Chaos is also something of a meritocracy, with female aspirants being admitted to whatever horrific recruiting rituals they use as eagerly as men.

-The Sisters of Battle take great pride in their lack of genetic augmentation. Given one of their primary roles is hunting renegade marines, the Sisterhood is keenly aware of the fact that while Space Marines may be the vanguard of the Imperium, they are the true paragons of humanity and its virtues, free from any meddling and reliant solely on skill, intelligence and faith.

-Dark Eldar are known throughout all Eldar society for having spectacular senses of humor. "You have the wit of a Kabalite" is a common backhanded compliment among Craftworlders, meaning that the subject is clever and funny, though likely also morbid and somewhat cruel.

-Many tech priests consider playing games (computer, or otherwise, as long as they involve high-tech gadgets) as a form of worship, dedication ot the Machine for it's own sake, and not for any utilitarian purpose, and thus highly praiseworthy.

-Thanks to the influence of the Warp; occasionally alternate versions of the 40k universe intersect with the mainline one. Commisar Konrad Raege has met Commisar Ciaphas Cain. She had to be restrained from killing Jurgen, because Jurgen's null almost got Alice Boone killed. She maintains that it was not motivated by any personal reasons; simply because Boone is a valued aide and resource of the Guard.

-The High Lords of Terra live in eternal fear that the Emperor may someday awaken. They know damn well that the Imperium they have created is anathema to what He wanted.

In the Time Before Time, there was only Tzeentch, who ruled absolutely over pure chaos, without boundary, form, or constraint.

And this was anathema to Tzeentch, or impossible, because when there is only change, there can be no change. The pure shifting chaos was its own stasis, for eternity, or no time at all, or both or neither.

So the Changer of the Ways made the only change it could make: it created a universe of order. Form, and time, and logic, and stability. Which Tzeentch could shift and distort and corrupt, with change as a constant constant, but with a form that could be changed from one moment to the next, and even reflect its concepts and patterns in the unshaped chaos of the Warp (which could go on to twist and shift and change in its own fashion).

So while Tzeentch can plot and scheme and warp and twist, it cannot ever "win," because the paradox of change is that its ultimate expression is its own negation.

there's a short story about what the lives of sacrificed psykers are like.

When they arrive, they're shoved out of the ship...

and begin training.

See, they can't just toss anything in. Someone in that position has to merge with the Emperor, to attain a state of total enlightenment. Anyone who doesn't pass, who can't attain that state?

Well, there's plenty of work around for a good psyker who's stable enough to be trusted. No shame in that. Just not everyone is suited to transcend the physical realm, and that's okay.

The black ships essentially start out like a secret police raid, and end by dropping you off in a really nice Buddhist monastery.

I love the irony. The most ominous fate in the imperium, the thing that drives a lot of psykers screaming into the arms of chaos, and the dearest wish of the most faithful servants of mankind? One and the same.

breeding? is this in a geneseed-and-raising kinda way or implied slaaneshi heresy?

Yes

Chimeras have av 14 on all sides

Theyre just so i dont want them to be hurt

Have some Primarchs

Angron had some nasty self-destructive tendencies with perhaps even a death wish after De'shea. The reunion with his legion didn't do anything to quell. He was also quite aware he was a broken man doomed to never ascend to his brothers highs.

The introduction of the Butcher Nails were not a tentative for Angron to connect his marines to him. It was a deliberate attempt to piss on the Emperor by mutilating his creations.

Unlike mortal Angron, Daemon Prince Angron is quite fond of Lorgar. He doesn't forget that the Aurelian sacrificied much and risked his life to help a brother that despised him.

Magnus the Red would have gladly renunced all his powers to finish his life in a quiet place surrounded by books. Whatever the hooks Tzeentch used to catch him, ambition was not one of them. Hope was.

Fulgrim has a coherent ideology besides raw hedonism. It's just nobody understands it.

internet, get to it! no time to waste!

The reason Ciaphas Cain doesn't ever mention his homeworld? He doesn't know it, having grown up in extreme poverty with little education. They just called it "The planet."

The planet, by the way, was Verunhive. The reason Ciaphas Cain chose Commissar as his choice of officer training (once he demonstrated his skills there) was because of stories still told on that planet about THE Commissar.

Hilariously, Ciaphas Cain was educated about Gaunt in officer's school and has no idea he's the same legendary figure, finding him a dreadful bore.

In terms of a pretty drastic headcanon, I have a whole belief of how 40k/Fantasy/AoS intersect. They're not parallel, they're sequential. Fantasy world is the last battlefield after the absolutely fuckhueg battle that will cap off 40k. Every time, Chaos wins, but each time the gods get a bit less powerful and a bit less Chaotic, leading to their somewhat more robust depiction in Fantasy, and the fact that they aren't so big and bad next to Sigmar (fragment of the Emps) in AoS.

Also the Great Maw is a sterile Tyranid that survived the cataclysm. These are VERY dramatic headcanons, and I don't expect anyone to agree with them, but I just find it fun to think of myself.

In terms of a slightly less dramatic headcanon, I've always thought of Perturabo's characterization as being like a school shooter. Corax is sexy emo, Curze is scary emo, but Pert is that nerdy emo where he was just pushed to far and fucking snapped. He also may be, in a non-joking way, slightly autistic, due to his unreciprocated and cold/distant hatred of Emps and Dorn, his obsessive interests in certain fields, and his persecution complex.

The surviving Eldar gods are just the non-Slaanesh Chaos Gods. Khaine is Khorne, Isha is Nurgle, and Cegorach is Tzeentch. The other Eldar gods were proto-Slaaneshi daemon princes who collapsed into Slaanesh when the Eldar cocaine orgy finally hit critical mass.

The other three Chaos Gods were created by clusterfucks similar to the Eldar birthing Slaanesh. One of them, probably Khorne or Tzeentch, originated during the War in Heaven. The other two came about in the intervening time between the sleep of the Necrons and the rise of the Eldar. The birth of each Chaos God has either resulted from or been the cause of the collapse of a galaxy-spanning civilization, and each one has brought the Warp closer to the Materium. The Imperium, too, will one day generate a Chaos God, and when they do, it will rip open a new and even larger Eye of Terror centered directly on Holy Terra.

Barban Falk is my descendant because he's tall and I'm tall.