My Paladin's alignment? Oh he's Chaotic Unaligned

>My Paladin's alignment? Oh he's Chaotic Unaligned.

What would chaotic unaligned even be? An escaped mental patient?

Tell me more

I play with a "That guy".

DM had to tell him beforehand that he couldn't be an evil alignment because this was going to be a good campaign. (We had new people, figured we'd make it easy and not all fucked for their first D&D experience)

>That Guy comes to the first meet with a LG Paladin.
>bullshit.jpeg

I knew there was gonnna be a hitch when he mentioned that, cause TG loves to derail every campaign in the most fuck you way possible. It was funny the first time, the other 12 times just pissed everyone off.

>LG Pally immediately reveals he is basically a fucking crusader.
>Attacks an NPC (the fucking shopkeeper before we could even buy anything) in our first fucking session.
>kristallnacht.jpg
>takes money from shopkeeper cause it was earned selling evil goods.

It gets worse.

Continue?

...sure...

Actually that's probably about right.

Or maybe something like a Harpy, from a setting where Harpies are sapient, but still semi-bestial mentally and have no idea of morality.

Hey, I'm always up for stories of That Guys and crap paladins. Feel bad for the paladins though.
Continue user.

I posted a condensed version awhile ago, but I've got the time and the booze to run through the whole thing now.

Gimme a few seconds.

Fuck still here, completely forgot,

So after the Paladin, (now to be referred to as H) tried to smite the shopkeeper, our party ended up getting sent to the town cleric at the local temple, who was the leader of the local cult, and also town law.

Cleric locks us inside temple.

So the cleric orders us to pay reparations for the shit that was stolen from the shop and for damage done to the shopkeeper (apparently everybody else was fucking chaotic neutral) and that he'd let us go.

H decided that some mofo needed to be smited, and initiated combat.

(Quick backstory, the cult protected the town from bandits in exchange for sacrifices. Town Feelings towards the cult are mixed, though pretty okay.)

Cleric gets cut down, and suddenly the town is beating on the door of the temple and asking wtf just happened. All of us are fuckin speechless and H is losing his fucking mind. He decides he must tell the angry mob outside of his good deed. I grappled him before he made it to the door.

My NG paladin constantly threatens and tries to extort things from civilians. He spent our whole first session going from guard to guard asking me if they had plate mail and trying to intimidate them out of their armor.

I told him that good guys don't threaten good guys to take their shit. He said "my character just thinks he can put it to better use"

I don't want to restrict him but it's getting annoying that he's playing more evil than my evil characters.

I'd call it "Undivided", but the GM has decided it's not a thing anymore.

Oh, okay, coolio. Don't sweat the deets on your first session, we'll explain alignment when introducing the characters, it's not a big deal.

Paladins are typically lawful but I know GMAnon has a couple homebrew gods he'd be more than happy to share.

We can figure out the unaligned part later, but it sounds like neutral. Let's see how you settle in with the other players, okay?

Once played with the DM's younger brother who had boot out immunity so we were stuck with him. 13 -14 years old. Avid reader of Sword of Truth, Adrew Ryan Did Nothing Wrong, Ayn Rand is best author ever etc. Point is he was a young teen and we were all insufferable to some extent at that age. But at that age getting booted from game is a learning experience and he had immunity.

He made an evangelically atheistic Paladin of Objectivism that totally wasn't an copy/paste of Richard Cypher/Rhal. Nobody else at the table had read any of those shit books. I had managed to get to the end of book 4 to my shame. (It was a London to New Zeeland flight. 26 hours of brain death).

He would act like a mercenary and demand coin for even the smallest work, starts preaching the foolishness of religion to the congregation of the local temple and acts like an insufferable cunt to the priest who was also the leader of the village and surrounding land and our main employer.

I made a socialist and highly devout cleric. We got an extra WIS point at the expense of CON for every 10 years of age over 35. My dude was a WIS, CHA monster with fairly good intelligence and shit physical stats. I believe his age was old as balls.

He would offer free heals to villagers and have nothing but a hat for them to drop donations in. He became the lovable old grandfather of an entire province.

I think the DM was on my side. We never had to pay for a room to stay in even if we had not healed or helped anyone. My dude became the party face (to That Guys annoyance) because the DM said he gave legitimacy to a mercenary band in the eyes of the local authorities.

Hand him his character sheet back but change his alignment to NE, and change him to an oathbreaker.

Guys like That just bewilder me.

Atheists in a world where gods are an observable and quantifiable entity make very little sense.

In his rather slim, like he was not, defence the gods did not intervene directly and it was up in the air if they were real or not in that homebrew setting. Still no excuse for being a cunt.

Why would you even keep him in the group if he derails every session?

Ah see, they're not gods, just really powerful wizards and sorcerers.

Fair enough.

There's no difference.

>My Paladin

DM is fucking him.

The trope's called "Nay-theism". Basically gods exist but you don't worship them because of moral reasons. This guy just sounds like a prick though, who's going to mouth of to a priest of, say, Pelor? Pelor's just a %100 nice swell dude, unlike many real world arch-deities.

Careful, OP! If you tip any harder your party hat will fall off!

God, I just WISH that my 13 year old players were able to read a book. Any book. It doesn't have to be the PHB, just something so that you have a reference pool outside video games and Critical role

Doormat player are cancer. Learnt to say 'no', faggot.

>inb4 no

I've talked to him and introduced him as a champion of light against evil. Hoping to give him a reason to not try to fuck everyone he meets. Gonna give him like one more chapter of the campaign and if it doesn't change, he's gonna be an oath breaker. I don't care if his diety is trithereon or not, good guys are good. Not extortionists and thieves out only for their own benefit.

>trithereon

A deity tailor-made for That Guyadins.

>muh individualism
>muh self-defence

Not that you have to play a Paladin of Trithereon the way your That Guy is though. What he's doing is way over the top. I could see trying to scrounge some spare gear from the town guard, and using social skills to persuade them, but from your story it sounds like he's methodically trying Intimidate on each guard in turn as he comes across them. At that point it ain't even roleplaying.

Not just the guards. Everyone. EVERYONE. The only paladin thing he's done is go pray at a church and heal some wounded people. The rest is just evil shit.

as a man, I've always thought this guy was somewhat handsome and urbane, no bardo

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