All folklore suddenly becomes real

>Folklore becomes real.
I take my soul. Put it inside my tooth which is my phylactery.

I AM LICH BITCH

I hope these guys are around somewhere.

In my area we have basically just two things in folklore: an array of small-scale fey, like pixies and the like, and a giant that causes earthquakes. The former can easilly be dealt with, but if the second is present and active, we're fucked.

Don't ignore the literally hundreds of monsters living in your house right now who want to kill you

I'd go back home and relax with the faeries.

Ahahaha I'm gonna get torn apart and used for a stew.

It will be extremely painful. For me.

...

Wait for the National Guard to kill the really nasty shit and then get on with my life.

Systematically develop a catalog and archive of mythological properties of more mundane materials and start develop arms and ammunition to exploit said properties.

Let's see how fae bullshit likes an M2 loaded with cold-iron BMG .50s.

Not sure if there's enough good folklore to fend off the bad folklore to save us from the worldwide reenactment of Cabin in the Woods.
But this could be good.
Do Merlin and King Arthur count?

Not positive Davy Cricket is gonna help much.

I guess i go visit the centaurs, hoping they won't kill me.If i survive i plan a tour of the country, maybe even go to acheron visit the boatman to Hades

>Let's see how fae bullshit likes an M2 loaded with cold-iron BMG .50s
This depends entirely on how surprised they are.
That sounds powerful enough to penetrate passive defences.
Depending on the lore, a gun can wreck even the toughest fae, if they don't prevent you from firing.
Which most of the stronger ones can do pretty effortlessly.

Yeah, but can a greater fae keep some dude in a bunker across the country from blowing it up with a drone strike?

Modern military technology would shit all over pretty much all American folklore and most of the European shit.

Unless you count conspiracies as folklore, in which case half of our government explodes into Jewish Lizard People and the rest of us are just fucked.

Ahura Mazda ftw

How can the wild hunt come if Odin isn't real?
A similar problem arises with a good half of the non-godly folklore that is now real

Not an enthusiast, so please explain to me what exactly is the wild hunt from the old norse folklore.

I just know that TW3 rip-off

The wild hunt is Odin/Wodan/Wotan and his companions that are either dead or fairies or a mix of them (depends on local tradition) out supernaturally hunting. That's it, the god and his posse.
There are post-Christian versions were Wodan-analogues are used, but it's recognizable

Swimming suddenly becomes much harder in inland bodies in Australia.
No billabong will be safe .

Shitposter god, if we have one.

Find and befriend a cryptid, or die trying.

...do recurring Veeky Forums creatures count as folklore? If so, find a hammerspace dragon and leave my fate in its adorable little paws, hope to befriend it if it doesn't kill me.
If not, find something likely to give me a swift and painless death, or something that would do a lotus-eater sort of false reality, before something worse comes along and tries to torture me to death.

how popular does the folklore have to be?

it'd hardly count as folklore but I read one person's (explicitly for fetish) setting where anthro-snake-style nagas caught their prey with strong pheromones that induce lust and turn the pain of digestion into pleasure

the only thing that surprises me about this post is that it wasn't the first post. I suppose this means that Veeky Forums is improving.

How much for half an hour with a mermaid?

Zeus wouldn't rape my gross family anyway. Dammit, I was hoping for at least Medusa-tier powers.

So we're big guys?

with or without mergina?

i figure merpeople must have mammalian reproductive organs, like dolphins but more humanoid. Otherwise, why the breasts? Breasts are pretty much the signature feature of mammals, so if the mermaid has them (and traditionally all mermaids do) its logical to assume that she's much more likely to have a vagina than a cloaca.

Not that a cloaca entirely rules out penetrative intercourse anyway.

All we got here is giant dudes made out of moss, a few Sasquatch wannabes and a fuckton of civil war ghosts.
Probably become a necromancer or something and start a war alongside my deceased ancestors to create America as a holy empire and beacon for humanity against the monsters. (Sasquatch can join if he wants)

If dubs, kek will guide me.

I'll be out looking for a Huldra wife if you'll excuse me.

Native folklore is cool, and technically half my family's folklore holds that the fey are our ancestors and their world is just the afterlife, so I'm probably just fine and I have now become an elf.

A drone strike is still a mundane weapon and it's not going to finish off something that regenerates itself. We have drone strikes and people still die of fucking knife and pistol fights.

Load the warhead with cold iron, or whatever that particular fae creature is weak to.

>regeneration
Napalm.

>We have drone strikes and people still die of fucking knife and pistol fights.
Okay, but what does that relate to what we're talking about at all?

I'd be more concerned about shapeshifting fae spies and infiltrators than direct conflicts.

OH SHIT
Does "folklore" include SCPs?

Y no

>cold iron
It's a poetic metaphor for an iron sword; do you know a lot of humans who don't die from fucking iron
It's also from a 19th century poet about one specific fey.

If it does, then it also includes the SCP Foundation, which would render moot everything in this thread, so no.

>cold iron is a phrase
Yeah, and it evolved into the modern phrase "cold steel." It's just traditional to refer to it as such when talking about the fae.

>it was about one particular fae
Yep. And then people ran with the idea, and now it's common folklore that all fae are weak to iron. Considering that OP said ALL folklore is real, it's fair to assume that isn't exempt.

>mfw I live in Colorado
>>Tommy Knockers, Ghost Riders, Wyoming Little People, Pecos Bill, White Buffalo, Slide-Rock Bolters, Prostitute Ghosts (lots of them), Big Foot, UFOs, Furry Trout, Kokopelli, City made of Gold, magic Coyotes, Blood Clot Boy saving people...

sounds pretty comfy family...

>Oh wow you can kill humans with iron bullets
>Clearly there is no way humans could ever be dominant

Good Children have nothing to worry about...

I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

I feel like you want to argue with me but I'm not sure why.

>we're all going to fucking die or worse
>Chinese and Catholic saints are suddenly real and involved in the real world.

we'll be just fine, especially bar-tenders.

>Unless you count conspiracies as folklore, in which case half of our government explodes into Jewish Lizard People and the rest of us are just fucked.

oh shit...I forgot about the Reptile people, that's bad...although the Pledians would probably keep them in check.

>anal probes for all

Work hard at becoming a Dragon Sorcerer.
Devise Fucking plans to kill that Fucking dragon and eat its heart then bathe in its blood like Siegfried to gain superpowers and immortality.

>yfw you get to fight the undead with Elvis and black JFK.

I love this world.

I live in Finland.
The forest protects us, one just needs to respect it

Same here.

My nations folklore includes a fey woman granting us our new homeland after we wandered under the guidance of our god Svarog.

>Slav elves are now real

>Russians really are drow

>Southern slavs are wood elves hellbent on eating and removing orc from their woods

>Western Slavs are snotty high elves pretending to be better than their German/Dwarven neighbours

Download the Demon Summoning Program to my smartphone

>Fucking Xenu is out to conquer the universe and opress our souls

KIMI WA KIKO ERU

>Serbia

Tupac is our secret weapon

Find a cute girl to marry.

>Yeah, but can a greater fae keep some dude in a bunker across the country from blowing it up with a drone strike?
Only if they knew the guy was gonna do it.

But they can fuck with that incoming drone though.
Also, explosions, napalm, and fire aren't as bad for them as bullets, fyi.

I call in this nigga to help out.

Be really fucking glad about some of the things I have on hand, and be deeply disappointed about the things I do not. Regret not being a /k/ommando. Wonder if it's good or bad that I'm currently outside of the city, and somewhere between suburban and rural.

what can he do? lol

>I have thought about this way too much

Underrated posts.

My damnation was secured by my own hand long ago. Who cares what form it takes?

I mean, I had to have done SOMETHING really wrong. How else did I end up here?

I'd like to take a moment of all of your time to suggest the Web comic " stand still stay silent"

>why the breasts
Same way many flowers imitate female insects so that male bugs land on them and pollinate.

Their breasts could be just a decoy to lure seamen in and eat them.

Stock up on iron and crosses to keep the trolls at bay. Salt is another good multipurpose item to keep on hand at every time.

And if I get brave/desperate enough I might take walks into the woods in hope of meeting a qt huldra.

Absolutely love every minute of the monster apocalypse and the post-magic society that emerges

Me and the /k/ommandos form a hunting party and go kill some skinwalkers

BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTT
>monsters become real
>monsters get raped the death by modern weapons
>monsters are not real anymore

seriously,
dragons can be killed by fucking swords, wtf could they do against Anti material rifles? vampires and undead? butt fucked by spotlights. it would be a hilarious epic assraping

I gotta go read that.
What I remember fits quite well.
Good job user.

>mind control monsters
>everpresent supernatural threats, such as nature itself, shadows and other bullshit
>capable to be subjugated with common destruction weaponry
Yeah, nah.

Let's not forget
>Genuine threats like Typhon, Apep, etc. that needs gods to fight

>not wanting the gods
>removing half of what made mythology exciting or interesting
why.

And not forget the creatures that can emerge from humanity or nature. Ghosts and their like will still be a deal even if there are effective weapons against them.

>holy sherbet flail

We'd have house spirits either working for or against us. Spiderwick now!

>What the fuck do you do, guys? Especially if pic related is in your neighborhood park.
For the last time, Níðhöggr, stop eating the world tree!

I played a campaign that was basically this but grimdark.

The answer is to befriend the friendly, be wary of the neutral, and pack heat when you're facing the unfriendly. Of course, the most exceptional skill is knowing when each is in play or appropriate.

We ended up getting some close calls with the unfriendly, but quick-wittedness gave us an edge when appropriate. Even kept some unfriendlies at bay in humorous and creative ways.

When it gets down to it, when things get weird the people who can adapt to the weird have an edge. Especially when they make themselves just as weird in response. I would have to venture that after a successive generation or two in the feywilds, humanity would probably end up fairly adjusted to it. Give them a thousand years and you might have a people as indistinguishable from the feywilds as anything else in them.

And come to think of it, maybe that's what caused the feywilds to be so weird in the first place? It's almost parasitic, but perhaps softer than that concept. It absorbs and incorporates others into it, and those that can survive become its denizens. Maybe it's end goal is mercy, or perhaps the feywilds itself is a living, benevolent entity that strives to preserve all within its confines, forever eternal? Maybe it shifts dimensions or travels between planets, and absorbs its gaea into its own in a non-euclidian manner, more spacious inside than outside.

Earth has been chosen, and has been given a new domain should they choose to enter. Do they rebuke the accept embrace of this mother dimension, or rebuke it as a parasite? Whatever the answer, I suppose it's waiting inside, deep in the heart of the feywilds.

>But they can fuck with that incoming drone though.
Only if they know that it's even there. The thing isn't going to be buzzing the treetops. A Predator has a publicly reported service ceiling of 25,000 feet. The Reaper and Avenger have publicly reported ceilings of 50,000 feet.

>Also, explosions, napalm, and fire aren't as bad for them as bullets, fyi.
For a lot of explosives the explosion itself isn't the primary means of killing targets it's what's propelled by the explosion that does the work. That being things like explosively formed penetrators and shrapnel. The reason for this being that the force of an explosion is carried through the atmosphere as a wave and the intensity of a wave decreases by the square of the radius from it's epicenter. Projectiles thrown can carry that energy and stay lethal for much longer distances than the pressure front of the explosion itself. They also concentrate that energy on a smaller impact surface when they strike a target allowing them to penetrate and destroy things that an explosion alone would hardly damage at all.

End autism.

Snek is always popular with me.

Try to leave Thailand because holy shit those things are immortal and can curse you to death/insane within a week, then try to live in a pagoda and hope Buddha will protect me.

...

I can only hope my spirit turns out to be too weak to move on to whichever Hell turns out to be waiting and I either stick around as a ghost or reincarnate as a cockroach or something.

This is the best possible way it could end for me. As in, me specifically. I am under no illusion that I will always remember, or even have access to, every precaution. You know the survivors in the zombie movies? That's not me. You know the zombies? Even that's not me. At least they're part of something vaguely threatening.

I'm the guy who got shot for an unrelated reason long enough before the movie that I'm already a skeleton.

Here's some of it. Don't say I didn't warn you:
aryion.com/g4/view/160353
The same person has done some fics and images (with accompanying minific) about encounters with their sneks. Needless to say, the non-snek never wins.

>Be me
>Irish
>Fairies are now a thing that happens
>Suicide is the only option.

No good comes from having those fuckers about the place. Plus winter's coming in and the old folk'll start dying off. Won't be able to get a night's sleep with all the banshees.

thats definitely something
I do sort of see how someone could be into that at least

Search for adventurers to form a team to vanquish evil or at the very least live a very peaceful life, unless there is a big bad somewhere that is an immediate danger I think living a peaceful life is the way to go. There are probably cool magic things that could be done like making toasted marshmallows

Cold iron should be quenched iron. It makes the iron harder and able to hold a sharper edge. It's a "you have to be this tall statement."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quenching

Thanks to white deminishing the importance and seriousness of my ancestor's religions by making animist/ancestor religions out to be more like folklore than real relgious tradition, as a black person with a family bible that lists names going back at least 6 generations, I can call on the power and knowledge of all of my ancestors and have spirit guides and amass all sorts of knowledge (every male ancestor was in the military, several land owning farmers, mechanical engineers on my dad's side, and secret native american powers on my mom's side).

Become a caster of some kind, probably a druid. Maybe make friends with some magical creatures

YA BOI 50110200 KNOWS

>go out
>find the nearest elf
>kidnap elf
>keep elf locked up in basement as my personal fucktoy

>Get destroyed by some random fae wondering who stole their fucktoy

Holy shit! Santa Clause is real!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

>destroyed
>not added to their sex toy collection