LOOT Thread

I was thinking it would be the latter - while any jug of water can heal you, there's the side effect of getting wasted, as well as the fact that it only has the effect of a regular potion of healing.

I'd imagine that you could drink stronger, higher-percentage stuff to have a stronger healing effect, like Wine for a Greater potion of healing, or Rum for a Superior one.

>Tfw I have a Satyr race that takes no penalties from being drunk
Suddenly becomes the most valuable magic item in their society.

I've been slowly building out a long list of useless, niche or horribly cursed magic items. It's got to the point where my players are actually groaning and debating whether to just take gold instead when I offer them a choice. Posting a few choicer ones.

--6-- The Hell-Lantern.
This lantern gives off a bright green light from between it's cage-like frame. A laughing skull can be vaguely seen among the flames. Cannot be extinguished except by Dispel Magic, requires no fuel, and leaves no shadows or dark corners within it's radius. Demons and Undead are invisible within the lantern's light.

--10-- Ring of Lifesaving Contingency.
This ring has a casting of Contingency, to be activated when the wearer would take fatal damage from an attack. A separate casting of identify reveals that the spell cast is 'Confusion', targeted at all non-members of the 3rd Thulian Punitive Legion within 15ft.

--16-- the Tiny Backpack.
A single-item bag of holding- it holds 1 item at a time, but of any size, while not counting at all for encumbrance. the mouth of the bag opens to a maximum of 5ft.

--26-- Tricky Fingers' Finger Gauntlets
Swap weapons with an enemy within 20ft, takes action, target has dex or will save, whichever is higher.

--31-- silver bell, marked 'ring for assistance'
You are summoned as a butler for your party- See new butler class.

--33-- Portable Window.
A cardboard tube containing a poster depicting a window. When hung on a wall, shows whatever is on the opposite side of the wall. Can be smashed to allow passage through wall- after this is permanently stuck in one place.

>Druids can now shoot healing potions out of their wrists

What could go wrong

I one time game my players a fantasy WMD

>Hurricane Quiver
>This mundane looking leather quiver only hints at being magical by the feint sounds of thunder rolling outside from inside of it, as well as the gold hemmed lining around its opening. Should any number of arrows be put into the quiver, they will fall away into it until only one is left sticking out. So for example, if ten arrows were placed in at the same time, nine would fall downwards and vanish within the quiver, while one would remain sticking out.
>The next time this single arrow is pulled out, knocked, and fired, it will split out magically into every other arrow that was placed into it. Using the example mentioned above, this single arrow would split into ten arrows.

My players stopped a siege in one shot by having the castle's population work day and night constructing all types of arrows. From high-quality iron arrows to simple sharpened sticks with some feathers fletched on the end.

One shot was all it took to cause a literal rain of arrows on the unsuspecting enemy army. The bow was considered too powerful and they gave it to the king for safe keeping.

Ring of Skeet

>By saying the command word "skeet", you may cast 'Command' on groups of creatures which have a lower level than yourself.
>However you may only command that they move to either the nearest window, or nearest wall
>Upon use, your genitals become abnormally sweaty
>Any female creature within 20 feet of you must make a DC15 constitution save. On a failure, they cannot walk and have to crawl.

>A cobalt bottle with a scintillating large marble inside that appears to act as a stopper, but instead causes it to take on a rainbow pattern as it leaves the bottle. The color fades gradually over the course of 5 minutes.

My group used it to track underwater currents so they could quickly find a door in a submerged dungeon. I thought that was a pretty clever use of a trinket.

>Mask of Drama
This simple stone mask resizes to fit the wearer. It is featureless except for a small red feathe, the symbol of the muse of drama, painted into one cheek. When the user invokes the muse of stagecraft, the mask transforms to match the face of whatever character the user is "playing". It works easily and endlessly to create whatever disguise is necessary, but will always have an easily recognizable red feather on their cheek - subtle enough to avoid breaking suspension of disbelief during a play, but obvious enough to make it useless as a weapon of intrigue.

>levitation potion collects at top of vial
>invulnerabity potion is fucking lava
I like this. Also for some reason made me think of Dave the Barbarian and the Red Sweater of Courage

This is less good ripoff of a screencapped greentext that used to be shared a lot, why not just post that?

The Armor of Protector Lot
>Inexplicable things happen to prevent the death of the wearer

Bottomless Quiver
>A quiver without a bottom. Arrows just keep falling until it's turned upside down

Sword of Swords
>It's a sword, with tiny swords on the side. When a lever is pulled, the tiny swords move fast

Katana
>(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
>1d12 Damage
>19-20 x4 Crit
>+2 to hit and damage
>Counts as Masterwork
>(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
>2d10 Damage
>17-20 x4 Crit
>+5 to hit and damage
>Counts as Masterwork

Rag of Rage
>A piece red cloth. Inspires great rage in the wielder. Usable by females only

I've posted this idea of mine before, but I've never seen the screencap you're talking about. Do you have it by chance? I want to know if maybe someone took my idea and used it.

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>>It's a sword, with tiny swords on the side. When a lever is pulled, the tiny swords move fast

So a chainsword?

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Would a container count as a single item for the tiny backpack? If not, time to loot the nicest piece of furniture I can find.

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Book of the Bureau. Every single legal document you need can be ripped from the booklet.

Yes, but they don't know that

Semiprecious stones are more magic.

>*Druids can now shoot BEER out of their wrists

In other news, a local druid has been crowned 'king of the dwarves' in a unanimous vote...

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>troll ballsack.

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>CE
>stick dick inside
>mfw

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Handheld Mantis Shrimp (Sonoluminescent Ultra Pulse Gun)
--------------------
This device is inside a protective field filled with water (like a tiny bubble of water the size of a goldfish bowl) around which the gun is built. The claw is actually part of a living creature (harvested through magic) and the gun is built to channel that pulse over distance. When fired, the claw snaps shut so fast that it causes the water to emit an intense burst of light and a significant shockwave as it explodes. These effects are focused by an iridescent dish that also protects the weapon's wielder. Though it was originally intended for riot control as a stun weapon, at standard claw speeds it will utterly pulverize human targets. Protective eyewear is recommended.

Zero Grenade (Null Time Field Projector)
------------
When activated, after a short delay, this cylindrical "explosive" will punch out radiating cones of spacetime, causing chunks of anything within its area of effect to stop instantly as their frame of reference desynchronizes. The effect lasts for approximately one second, relative to those outside the field.

The utility of the weapon depends on which target it is used on and how fast they are moving. A stationary table will be basically unaffected. A stationary human will be heavily damaged as their unavoidable natural motion causes their tissues to drift apart. A moving human or other object will be torn apart.

This device is particularly destructive when used on a target with many moving parts, such as a jet engine.

Ice Spike Mine Launcher
------------------------
Launches Proxi mines that when detonated, shoot a burst of liquid nitrogen into the feet of the enemy, dealing Cold Damage, and if the target dies, they are frozen solid in a angry spike of ice and can be shattered.

Submachine Fun
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Confetti and Dubstep Remix App. Paint Bullets. Ballons. Extacy Darts. Black Light Laser Rave Mode

Viral Marketing
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Injector trap in the grip gives you a disease when you pick up the gun if you're not paying attention. Shoots disease/poisoned bullets.

Fangs of the Impaler
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Pistols with Bayonet/axe grips. Uses blood for bullets so leaves no evidence behind.

The Heads of Cerberus
----------------------------------
Triple barreled G-36C assault rifle
Rotating Elemental Damage (roll a d3 and it does that type of damage that round 1: Fire, 2: Acid, 3: Electrical)

The Clerics
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Twin .45 ACP Pistols w/ Muzzle Bursts like a cross
Special: Extended Magazines with Wristmounted speed loaders. Fires blessed silver bullets.

Lashiel (written in Elven on the blade)
Kusarigama with miniaturized chainsaw in the blade. Grants Wielder proficiency with the weapon.

Rocket Launcher w/ weather manipulating rockets and alternate firing Mines that call down bolts of lightning.

Never did get around to using all these in my campaign.

Lmfao

>Handheld Mantis Shrimp
the technobabble doesn't seem to coincide with the actual animal.

>Zero Grenade
but I like this one. not a lot of scifi stuff around