Kobold stories

Does anyone habe the cap of that page?

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Honestly, I had a post-apocalyptic setting where kobolds are simultaneous hermaphrodites put together before Volo's Guide came out, and with their status as the bottom of the food chain, either the "both at once" or "switch between genders in response to X" methods make a lot of sense to explaining why they don't go extinct.

Plus, after Dungeon Survival Guide said that kobolds will "clamor to climb into" the maw of a hungry dragon, because they worship dragons so much that being eaten by one is like martyrdom, well, this isn't that weird.

That's pretty neat

Kobold prisoner what do?

Cleave & Smite

Alternatively train as gunslinger for tiny backup.

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I more triggered by lizard tits than by them changing gender.

Ran I game for my younger brothers where they played as kobolds. They were unapologetic murder hobos and enslaved a gnome village so they could run a chocolate factory. It was pretty fun.

>That's pretty neat
What is?

My kobolds being herms?

Or 4e saying they're happy to let dragons eat them because they're serving a dragon?

What book is this from, I've looked in the Monster Manual and Volo's but can't see it.

It's in Volo's, page 65

Thanks, for some reason I was an idiot and skipped past the monster lore section.

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accidentally what wotc was going to do?

>Ursula Li Zarduin
>Left Claw of Darkness

>enslaved a gnome village so they could run a chocolate factory
i love it

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Not really an actual story, but a long standing idea of mine has been to do a campaign, or at least a storyarc in a series where a Kobold tribe decides to take advantage of their fodder status by creating a massive ward that makes all damage within non-lethal.

They then proceed to set up a fairly normal camp/cave system and INVITE novice adventurers to come over and test their skills (for a small fee).

In a full campaign, the players would be the kids of legendary adventurers who are basically taken to this fantasy-world theme park for a vacation. Also it would be more than just kobold's by that point.

Is all fun and games until some kid falls into the mimic poem

of course!

The full adventure would include some conspiracy to discredit the park!

underrated

I once ran a game where everyone was a kobold. It was pretty fun the players just tried to cause as much political mischief as possible. My favorite player played a kobold necromancer named Zecel, but through the entire campaign he never raised the dead he just stored dead bodies in his hut he would dress the bodies up in fancy cloths and sit them around a table. He would then invite the other players to have dinner with his family, it became a mini game of sorts of who could stay the longest in his hut full of dead bodies.

You no take candle!

Taste beyond time and space

>Fixed.

In the 5E game I play in, we had a new guy join up as a kobold. He decided to be thatguytm by shitting up RP, jumping through windows, throwing up food generously donated to him by guards, and even yelling at the top of his lungs that he wasn't a kobold.

Well, the next time he showed up to the tavern we were using as a party base, the barkeep offered 40 gold to whoever beat the kobold up for breaking the glass. We immediately assaulted the kobold like it was 3.5 all over again, put him into a barrel, and threw it into a moat. Fuck kobolds.

Bump.

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I'd like to play a kobold in a 5e game, is there an unearthed arcana that includes them as a player race, or do I have to hunt down the least-shit homebrew of them?

Go find the 5eg thread, go into the megatrove in the op, and get Volo's Guide to Monsters, They're a playable monster race in the book. It was released a week ago.

>Come across a kobold
>Described as having lovely eyes and wide hips
>Clearly fetish fuel for the furry at the table
>Kobold says something about helping her
>Furry says that we should
>Am a paladin
>I detect evil
>I smite and cleave the furfag's character for suggesting that we don't kill a servant of an evil dragon
>Puff my chest as I call him a horrid deviant
>Get weird looks at the table
>Am a paladin
>Detect evil
>Use goggles of true seeing
>They are all kobolds
>Smite and cleave the hell out of them
>Police break in, tell me I am arrested in the name of the law
>lol faggots I am the law
>I am justice incarnate
>Am a paladin
>See that they too are kobolds
>Smite and cleave with extreme prejudice
>Plow through dozens of kobold policemen
>Detect evil pings me to danger
>Kobold police grabbing a child who came to look at this and taking him to the parents
>The kobold must be trying to use them as shields
>Smite him with my javelin
>Use lay on hands on the child
>Parents scream at me in fear
>They too are evil, so they must be kobolds
>Smite and cleave
>"It's all over now, child, you are safe in the hands of justi-"
>Goggles still on
>See the child is a kobold himself
>Is only a child
>But justice has no mercy
>Do what I must
>Am a paladin

Death to kobold scum, deus vult

>Play a Veeky Forums-wide Minecraft server
>Veeky Forums faction models itself after dwarves
>A day before the server goes live, thrown out of the faction under accusations of being a spy
>Being stubborn and Veeky Forums-loyal, decide to make my own Veeky Forums faction with blackjack & hookers
>Pick another underground-dwelling, mining race
>Kobolds were born.
>Tiny faction, four people at its peak
>Scavengers, messengers, couriers, third-party diplomats, liked by everyone relevant in the server
>Practically wiped by previously unheard of faction using glitches a few hours before the servers shut down, for reasons even the raiders can't explain
>Proved Veeky Forums faction loyalty as one of their few false positives in spyhunting.

>Years later, join them in a multichan Veeky Forums server
>But still a kobold, as the dwarves' diversity hire
>They do the warmongering whilst I watch the nest- I mean warren- I mean base
>One of the dwarves splits off on the first day and makes an allied faction... of kobolds
>Builds a dragon skeleton ribcage into his cave, makes the entrance a dragon skull
>Is even more koboldish than I was
>Recruits half a dozen extra kobolds
>Unites the monster races of the server, including goblins and hobgoblins, makes friends with the undead
>Becomes head of one of the largest factions on the server... as a kobold.

Kobolds.

Shame on you for wasting an image slot to go along with that lame ass greentext. Your post was bad and you should feel bad.

Just so I'm not totally shitposting to.
>play cutebold artificer in pf, CN alignment
>musket as primary weapon
>tribe destroyed and enslaved by orks in backstory
>rescued by adventurers, pally scans not evil so dumped in human village with the other former slaves
>not popular but helpful and eager to please (read to spineless to stand up to bullys)
>find clever ways to help out doing jobs no one else wants
>ratcatcher, handy-bold, part time clerk/maid at alchemist shop
>make a few npc friends
>want to be of more use
>try building burning hands device with Weird Science
>dem rats gonna burn!
>show friend NPCs first test fire in meadow
>nat one
>device overloads and launches worlds shittiest fireball and destroys itself in the prosess
>set group of rabbits on fire hiding in tall grass
>flaming bunnys shreek and scatter
>NPCs helpless with laughter
>cutebold crushed under the weight of failure
>but she got a nickname out of it
>keyla the rabbit slayer
>wear it like a badge of honor

Am a paladin and I sure as hell don't ping off my Detect Evil.

You, furfag kobold lover, on the other hand....

>Party gets captured
>Shit gets stolen
>Barbarian is obsessed with his bear pelt/cloak.
>Makes it his vendetta to to get it back
>They learn two kobolds took it
>continue with the campaign, just missing those kobolds along the way
>Barbarian dies near the end, never got his pelt
>In the following campaign, they encounter the two kobolds, who fight in tandem with the pelt, who have taken up the mantle of the dead barbarian

Sauce?

Not going to lie, my gm used this to explain how kobolds wont go extinct. I love playing the little bastards so I didn't mind the altercation. However since everyone in the party was male, despite being different races, my kobold's bodily nature changed for the circumstance. My male kobold became female, though in a much faster duration. The party questioned my shinier scales and widder hips and slimmer body in which my kobold explained the process as if it were normal and then got embarrassed at the situation as the party "laughed" at his, now her, "missfortune". Although one player playing the rouge managed to start a rather cute relationship with the kobold.

>not liking titbolds

>mug Lizard tits
>muh adherence to the realism of lizards
>Not knowing that Humans are uniquely the only species that have and value huge knockers
>not realizing that by this logic, none of the other, including elves and orcs, should have tits.

Storytime?

>not realizing that by this logic, none of the other, including elves and orcs, should have tits.

Aside from mammary glands. Being mammals they would still have those and thus have tits.

You're right that they wouldn't be the size modern day people have them and in warlike races they would probably be bound. But, medieval woman also didn't have large breasts because most were farmers and couldn't get enough to eat to fatten up, exempting the nobility, or they would be burdensome in combat.

I'm cool with it.

You haters are so predictable.
Show up
Spew shitpost
justify OOG shittyness with in game abilities you don't have AND/OR
Assume position of moral superiority by claiming (thread topic) is inherently bad
Call any detractors meme buzzwords (eg. Furfag, pedo etc)
Straw man as needed
Spew crazy and argue if confronted
Proclaim victory and go back to lurking and monitor the impact of said shitposting spree.

Now, shall we begin?

One time, the kobold the party decided to spare in the early stages of the campaign turned out to be the reincarnation of Io, who went on to unite the halves of Tiamat and Bahamut and become the god reborn, pic related was the inspiration of his new form.

Way before that, however, the group set him up with an eight-foot-tall dragonborn girl. I rolled outside the DM screen for his endurance check when they bedded each other.

He got 20.

As expected of the God of all Dragons.

Kobold Ally update!

The party had a mission to save some kobolds for a dragon

the kobolds, being loyal slaves, attacked

The party fighter, being a bit dull, killed one.

The cleric made it a bit better with use of revivify, but the kobold allies were extremely upset. On the plus side, the fighter got to give a little monologue about how he is "extremely jumpy" from his time in the military (implying PTSD), which was a nice character moment.

Does anyone have the pic that explains the differences/origins of western kobolds and Japanese kobolds? A friend of mine joked that during our next session we should include fey corgis as a race and I joked back that we should just play as kobolds at that point, however a third friend didn't get the joke so I was hoping to get the differences pic to explain correctly.

Had a player who ran as a curmudgeonly Kobold Bard whose profession was a prospector and used "orator" for his performance.
What that meant was, he'd chastise people into "doing better."
I really liked his character, so I laid out clues through the campaign that pointed towards pretty much everything bad happening was tied to him incidentally.
>digging a mine
>finds ruins
>trades strange artifact for a magical pickaxe
>artifact spreads a magical plague

>evil organization using secret underground tunnels beneath the city
>he dug them years ago looking for precious metals

Stuff like that. He eventually became a Lich.

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as it happens the kobold in question was also retarded. he thought it was a fantastic idea

what if all elves, everywhere, were replaced by kobolds?

Makes them even more like Velociraptors well the JP version, but it makes sense for a species that can at times be sapient vermin and was basically invented as a trash mob

Being sexually attracted to iguanas is a mental illness senpai.

What do you imagine the story behind this picture is?

>Kobold has his family and clan slaughtered by Adventurer for a bounty
>Kobold is left barely alive amidst the corpses of his fellows
>Adventurer doesn't bother killing him, figures he'l be dead any ways
>After Bounty hunter leaves, Koblod manages to crawl over to a spot where the killer dropped one of his healing potions, and licks as much as he can off the floor
>Kobold is now well enough to stumble out of Cave, trying to follow the hunter to avenge his family or die trying
>Doesn't get far, collapses against a tree in a forest.
>Passing Druid sees him, takes pity on the poor creature
>She brings him, and nurses him back to health.
>He tells her of how he came to be In that sorry state, and how his family and clan were murdered
>Once He is well enough, the Druid gives him some clothes, supplies, a beat up hunting rifle and a small bit of coin, and points him off to the nearest town
>Spends his time following the bounty hunter, occasionally saving those in need, as he was once saved
>Becomes something of a folk legend for these deeds
>He's known as the Bullet of Vengeance, and the Claw of Justice depending on who you ask.
>Finally catches up to Bounty Hunter
>Sets up an ambush in the woods
>He would finally avenge his Family and Clan
>He condemn the hunter to the fate he he been left to
>Left for dead, dieimg a slow death from a mortal wound,
>and He would not be as lucky as the Lobold had been.

>the hunter, who was powerful enough to single handedly route an entire Warren of kobolds, continued to grow In strength since that day.
>absolutely wrecks the kobold as soon as he made himself known to attack

>Kobold revealing himself
Nigga that Kobolds been waiting in that particular spot for 2 hours, he's goin for a sneak attack. Also, a headshot's a headshot, nigga's still dead, he don't look like no wizard.

Unless your ruling that this is a high magic setting and he has some random amulet of bullshit deflection, but in that case, why would anything with as many moving parts as a gun exist when you can just wave your fingers and make it explode in your face.

>be me
>be in high school
>be playing D&D with new friends
>roll 1 for charisma, I have no idea what fuckin' edition this is
>am stabbing anyone who talks to me, I have 1 charisma
>we somehow end up locked in an arena with a bunch of kobolds
>can literally only picture corgis
>alcohol may have been involved and I may have died laughing

Seems more "pathfinder kobolds"
They're the one with the cannon tranny dwarf

DnD 5e has these elves as a canon option

Straw man fallacy, twisting you're opponents argument or statement then attacking the twisted version.
Also
Ad hominim, attacking the person rather than addressing their argument.
AND last but not least
Guilt by association, assuming that all members of a given demographic share the same ideals. In this instance, anyone who defends kobolds must want to fuck them or just any old lizard IRL since kobolds are pure fiction. Which brings us right back around to the top. If you're going to try and troll me bring your fuckin A game. cause so far this just gets a you bumped the thread you hate/10.

I once played a kobold that completely beloved that everyone was good. That "evil" people were just misunderstood and needed a hug. This included demons. She did everything she could to not kill and always tried to find a way to peace and happiness.

At one point in the campaign a succubus disguised herself to trick us but my kobold saw through it and clamped her in super holy shackles of redemption and compulsion when she thought she had us fooled. Then for good measure because the succubus was about to use magic to teleport stuck an apple in her mouth to prevent any shanangins. She them proceeded to talk to her about her feelings and why she should be friends with the party. Throughout all of this the succubus was bashing her head against the wall to the point she was bleeding. Every time she took to much damage my kobold healed her. At the end my kobold hugged her so hard it drove the succubus insane because for reasons she just refused redemption way to hard.

The succubus became the party mascot after that. We treated her like a doll dressing her up and feeding her since she was completely mind broken.

>I'd say those offenses would warrant at least 20 Years, Lawbreaker

could you expand more on it?

Not if they're sapient, walk on two legs, and have tits.

Nah man, that paragraph is canon for Forgotten Realms kobolds in 5e.

That's what Goblins in Freebooter's Fate can do.

But best to keep it to sea and island based lifeforms. That's the fantasy trope.

Are Yinglets a type of Kobold?

People need at least 5 HD to ping as any alignment unless they have a subtype or class which changes it, ya shitmongler.

What exactly is this screencap talking about?

It sounds like a video game, kind of like Dwarf Fortress with kobolds the way it mentions periodic sieges of enemies and how the doctor went mad. Anyone know what it is?

Kobold Camp is just dwarf fort with kobolds yeah.

Dwarf fortress mod Kobold Camp

So clap yourself in irons and fuck off.

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I have a setting involving small dinosaur people and they get slapped with the kobold name by the mideval humans, the saurins are super into genetic engineering and designer life, to compensate for their low population they engineered themselves into simultaneous hermaphrodites, but they are fucking bird lizards, not sexy at all

Sorry if this took longer than excpected, but:
The players consisted of 4 guys, including me, and a girl. She usually plays a male character with a new group to get comfertable with the group. She decided to play a male dwarf rouge. I played a kobold wizard, the other guys played a human fighter, fetchling summoner, and a suli barbarian. Gm took me to the side and talked about the kobolds. I didnt think of it at the time, but after the 8th session I kind of figured it out. Me and the dwarf usually gave a lot of banter towards each other due to racial rivalry, but got along pretty decently. After the second session the gm told us we were kind of like family in which we were willing to fight at each others side without problems. After that my kobold's anatomy changed overtime until the 8th session where the kobold was female with glistening scales like a precious metal, wide hips, lager thighs, slimmer torso and so on to "attract male kobolds as a good mate". No one truly noticed until the dwarf made a perception check and said something. Everyone laughed so on and so forth, but the dwarf got really close to the kobold, mainly because she stated that the kobold glistened like gold, but I am pretty sure she was also into me.

Whenever I casted invisibility on the rogue, the dwarf gave the kobold a kiss on the cheek. Whenever we entered an inn, the seets were design for four medium people so the dwarf would let the kobold sit on his lap. What really kicked it off was when in an artic area inn, the kobold was freezing in her bed and the dwarf would let her sleep in his bed. The kobold gave in and felt how warm the dwarf was with the stocky build and large beard. The kobold never left the dwarf's side after that. Nearing the end of the campaign, the dwarf and kobold got together and sexxed it up. It was a breif scene as players didnt want erp, but we felt it was necessary after all that build up. At the end of the campaign, the kobold and the dwarf took their riches and built a tavern. She stayed female and lived the dwarf for the rest of their lives happy. We made a joke on what the babbies would look like and the first thing that i responded with was "they are bearded dragons". Corny bit it was a bit of a giggle. We settled with adoption.

On the flip side, me and the girl player started going out.

Sounds like a good time, ur lucky

>babies are bearded dragons
As the owner of a beardy, that's ledgit adorable, I want art now

The ludicrous mutations and crazy inconsistency of their race could explain how kobolds can be anywhere between little dog men to alligator dragons

Original DnD describes them having wolf/canine features. Our friends in the east took this to mean dog people.

Not directly related but does anyone know where I can find a QT kobold mini? Most of the ones I frequently see are generally ugly, both look and sculpt wise.

Looking for a more sorcerer style if possible, but I can make edits. Main thing is the face should be either adorable or zany.

meepo an shit

Best I can recomend is fiddling with warhammer skinks, particularly heroes, not exactly qts but nice looking

I plan on running a campaign soon where Tuckers Kobolds are fucking everywhere. I mostly just want to see how powerful I can take 5e Kobolds with simple gear upgrades and maybe a feat.

Should be a fun time when the players eventually run into Hand-Crossbows+Crossbow Expert.

I had actually thought of that myself. The skinks do look how I imagine, just might edit them to have horns to make them more Draconian. If no other options come up, will certainly go with that.

They fucking who-what? Really? Considering I'm writing - or, well, writing at - a story about a kobold, this is interesting to me. Source/caps of page?

Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition: Volo's Guide to Monsters, page 65, bottom paragraph of the Life & Outlook column, above the Grow Fast, Die Young column.