Who's the most "unique" individual you've ever met thanks to tabletop?

I'd love for them to play but I don't know if they would have a good format and feel to it. I would love to see them play board games though

I met Trout. He's very proud of being Trout for some reason. He tried to touch my hair.

Really big guy, like six foot, 350lbs or so, and about 45 or 50 years old. I only talked to him a handful of times over a couple years while he and I were going to the same gaming club. I heard a story about him throwing a chair at someone because he was mad. I also saw him start shouting, like super fucking loud and angry, at another guy in a pizza shop, because the guy walked up to a table and asked if anyone wanted to play some board game, and this dude started accusing him of poaching his players. Most of us at the table were just eating pizza, not even involved with his board game.

He was in a game I ran one time, because, being young and stupid, I said anyone could join. He had the longest, dirtiest fingernails I have ever seen in my life. Big, sweaty, sloppily bearded. Very loud and aggressive, especially toward the girls in the game, not like in a creepy or hostile way, but very white knighty, constantly interrupting them as they talked or tried to do something so his character could jump in front of them or do something dangerous instead of them. While he was sitting there playing, we noticed that the whole small of his back was splattered with dried shit. Human feces. It was sprayed up his back several inches, caked all over his underwear and pants, thick in the large part of his butt crack that was visible, and dried onto the hem of his t-shirt.

At the end of that game, I said to my friends I hoped he had died that week, so I didn't have to deal with him again. Later found out he had a heart attack a few days later and died.

What the goddamn fuck?! No, seriously what in the actual fuck?

Just remember to use those psionic powers for good, user.

I know, right? I've wished death on a lot of people over the years. Might have been better times for it to work, but I can't complain.

Not THE Trout, is he?

Pic related: he's the capybara.

> due to the amount of mold in there and the litteral mountain of fapsocks.
Holy shit, he really worshiped nurgle.
Beautiful.

Forgot pic

Do you know of any other Trouts infamous for being terrible 'That Guy's?

Who?

That Guy from Shadowrun Storytime, you should read it.

My negro-american

They've done a playthrough of a D&D beat-em-up a while back, and they've been sponsored by D&D a couple of times on the podcast. Pat's mentioned that he was going to be part of a D&D game, but apparently the dm lost all the data on the world he'd built over the years and got super depressed about it.

>Liam a shit
ftfy

When I started tabletop I was a shy kid in my late teens and my first ever group was full of 'unique' people. So much so that 12 years later I still haven't met anyone quite like two of them.

First is a guy who was a total religious psycho. Not in the westboro church way where he wanted to protest baby funerals but in a way more similar to Muslim extremists only he was catholic. He would always talk about how the faith in god needed to be restored and cleansing of blood. He was really charismatic and in his mid 20s so as a young lad I was half converted into to following him, luckily when he started taking me to the gun range to "prepare" I got a bit scared and fell back. His Cleric in game was equally charismatic only he was on a literal quest to restore the name of his god and killing heretics. After my first fighter died because it was a poorly made first character I made a Paladin follower of the same god and we killed all kinds of heretics together.

Second was a college girl in her early 20s who was big into anime and got me into stuff beyond Dragon Ball and Pokemon. She seemed super normal at first short of her anime addiction, and being a shy kid I fell for her pretty hard since she showed me the smallest amount of attention. Shit started getting weird when she would do self mutilation stuff with her Rogue in game. Cutting herself after kills and stuff like that, and really getting into the role playing. I ended up losing my virginity to her even though she had a boyfriend and she would ask me to choke her and stuff. Her arms and legs were also covered with knife scars. Eventually her boyfriend found out and I got really scared and quit the group at this point.

Last two guys were strange too but just in the basic neckbeard way I see all the time. One guy was big into furry stuff and the other just super edgelord.

Pat's a tryhard fedora from Neogaf.
Matt's just a retard.
Liam is the only one there who is actually good at video games but he is a little babby.
Woolie is the most fun but he's a complete moron.

i feel like woolie would be the dm because he's the one to organize a lot of the stuff that isn't lp related. the podcast, the mailbag, and he always goes to different conventions and even started cosplaying. between the four of them he'd be the most organized and they'd nominate him to be the dm. matt would be That Guy because he'd do a lot of stuff he thinks is funny, regardless of how actually humorous those actions are and how they effect the party. pat would get angry a lot but the dude is a big push over with a loud bark, and liam would be a little magical realm but overall not that bad. the only person that would cause a problem is matt. if they brought in other people outside of the main zaibatsu, i'd imagine paige would hop in once in a while when she's in town, and there'd maybe be plague and german spy over skype. plague would be magical realm master and german spy would want lore and be a broken munchkin because he'd expect a lot more from woolie than he actually delivers. but that's all my own thoughts on those fuckers.

An old ex-mercenary who used to brag about some book he'd hired someone to write, but "She was bad at it" so he wrote the rest himself. Never saw the book but whether the LGS owners saw it or were stringing me along, more likely the latter, it supposedly included a picture of him standing on top of a pile of african corpses.

The guy was interested in playing Battletech, so I tried my hand at teaching him the introductory rules, but my patience was tried. He also called my house and left a message that he would go to the LGS at so and so a time, but told me that he had no phone or way to be responded to, so there was literally no way for me to say "I'm busy that day".

I think he moved away or died or something. No idea. Nice old guy, but thick and nutty as an Eat-More bar. He thought the mechs were monsters or kaiju or something, apparently.

I want Omikron to continue. Their cries of anguish lulled me to sleep without fail.

>it's all an elaborate ploy to get them to fix his fence

A dutch nazi with a fetish for decapitations and peeling people's skin off, something he was sure to make part of his character. He also had the uncanny ability to get people to side with him on any argument, despite being as charismatic as an angry smiley painted on concrete.

Then one day he got angry because his spesul snofleik was being arrested for being a psycho and left.

is it the trout king, fuck that guy

Pat's a self-aware tryhard fedora from Neogaf, that's the key difference.

>He thought the mechs were monsters or kaiju or something, apparently.
Shoulda rolled with it and played as Greenburg's Godzillas.

You need not worry, they've said it's going to come back after the Dark Souls 3 DLC, which is scheduled to finish at the end of the week.

Seriously, its the best cyberpunk novel Ive ever read

Woolie a shit. Pat a best.

Where else am I supposed to eat candy?

They talked about perhaps playing a TTRPG for the show on the podcast one time. I think it was one of the episodes with Brennan Williams.

Everyone on the Zaibatsu are living in their darkest timeline.

How did it come to this.

I really wish I was joking, but the smell still haunts me

>tigrex
>at the top
>over Zinogre
Shit taste. Whoever wrote that shirt should be ashamed

A danish SJW faggot that literally ran background checks on the other players and then threw a shitfit when it turned out that one of them didn't agree with his brand of politics.

I recall theyve mentioned 40k, in the context I think it was Matts disbelief at that giant rock saw, calling it something out of 40k

Met a guy who must be a PC in the game of life. 6'5, built like a house and thick Australian accent.
>Joins my WoD game
>GM can't host
>New guy says he knows a place
>Takes us into the city
>See an electronics store with basement access
>He picks the lock
>Disables security monitor
>Set up a table and some chairs
>Have a pretty fun game
>Feeling hungry at the end, but no where good is open
>New guy disappears for 20 minutes, comes back, goes up into the store and builds a makeshift kitchen in the basement
>Cooks a mixed grill with salad
>Fucking delicious
>Decide to go drinking
>Somehow gets multiple rounds for free
>Now slightly drunk, head out
>New guy gets a call
>His girlfriend wants to see him
>We're fine with her hanging out with us
>Drives us all over to a fucking mental hospital
>Breaks in through multiple layers of security
>Takes her out without anyone noticing
>We're all nervous
>Eventually calm down and have a good time driving around to cool secluded places
>Drops everyone home one by one
>He drops his girlfriend back in the hospital and resets each layer of security behind him
>He does this every week because of their restrictive visiting policy
>Head home
>Get pulled over by cops
>Open containers in the car and we still smell like booze
>New guy talks his way out of it
>Head home and park the car
>We live near each other, so I walk him through the shitty area
>Drunk guys pick a fight with us
>New guy grapples and tosses them around like ragdolls
>Have a few more games before he mysteriously disappears

The guy's either in prison or on the run with his insane girlfriend.

>things that totaly happened
let me guess, when he dissapeared the whole bus clapped?

Nice story

Ignoring your psychic death powers, why was he caked in fucking feces? Surely someone asked right? You guys couldn't have all just been cool with that and ignored it. It's not like ignoring a booger in someone's nose or trying not to look at a large mole, his fucking clothes were covered in shit. Someone HAD to have asked right? Were they always like that or just once? Why would someone let a shit covered person into their home? How did he think females would be even mildly interested in a person caked with fucking shit? Please explain this user. I'm baffled and need to know what the fuck. Please do not kill me.

>Second was a college girl in her early 20s who was big into anime and got me into stuff beyond Dragon Ball and Pokemon. She seemed super normal at first short of her anime addiction, and being a shy kid I fell for her pretty hard since she showed me the smallest amount of attention. Shit started getting weird when she would do self mutilation stuff with her Rogue in game. Cutting herself after kills and stuff like that, and really getting into the role playing. I ended up losing my virginity to her even though she had a boyfriend and she would ask me to choke her and stuff. Her arms and legs were also covered with knife scars. Eventually her boyfriend found out and I got really scared and quit the group at this point.

That's not weird, that is like a normal weekday for me and my friends. but, we are not really normal...

Woolie seems like the best one to talk to but yeah he should never touch a controller

Pat is doing pretty well for himself, which ironically is making his sanity erode away

Wow, Seinfeld Guy seems pretty tame compared to these. He just kept coming up to everyone mid-session for a week and asking us if we watched seinfeld or "knew that episode, like, with kramer"

we're in our early 20s dude why the hell would we have watched seinfeld.

tfw you met liam at a mutual friend from CEGEP's party and had an awkward twenty-minute conversation about how to pronounce Tharja's name while said friend was puking up pure creme de menthe that he'd been chugging from the bottle one room over

strangest goddamn party of my life. Seeing him brought up in places like this is fucking weird, and I don't even watch TBFP ever since my ex once said she had a crush on liam's voice, unaware of above story.

With the exception of Wollie, aka Worse Brennan, they're all doing pretty good.

How are you supposed to pronounce her name?

Pat's falling apart and will soon become the world's first intelligent toilet.

Lets be fair here.

We're all worse than Brennan Williams.

Woolie. Two o's, one L.

>mfw the exact moment Brennan discovered Woolie was black on the podcast

He is the whitest sounding black guy that looks hyper black ever, as long as he's not talking thug.

Who's Williams?

>Pat
>Intelligent
Pick one

True, Brennan "I have two kids" Williams is pretty much a perfect human.

Yeah I know, realised the moment I posted it.

Woolie isn't black, he's just wearing blackface in support of Mega Gerbil Hops and the other Blackface Boys.

Guy I used to know, gigantic manhoe and inflated ego, was the biggest secret fatasses I've ever known. Man was gifted a high metabolism so we didn't know, but one day we where fucking about and someone opened his closet. dude panics and tries to stop him but by the time he get there a mountain of candy, snack cakes, and I think an actual cake begin pouring out of the closet. There was no actual clothes in there or anything useful just a hoard of candy.

I shall forever more remember, and dread, the name Shanahan, all because of Dungeons and Dragons.

It began in High School, there was a Tabletop Game club that some of my friends would go to, and they invited me one time. As it turns out, the club had quite a few people in it, just over a dozen, and I figured I might even be able to find a game on my first go. And then Shanahan walks in. He's the President of the club.

Now, he is exactly what you think of when you hear someone wears a fedora. Neckbeard, lanky, long coat, neck-length hair, but nothing really off putting except his stutter, which would make him repeat entire sentences multiple times. He'd usually have to stare at someone to focus, and it was usually me.

He had a laptop, and on it he kept Powerpoints for his games. I learned that the only game the club was running, complete with the whole more-than-a-dozen group, was being DMed by him, and that the group was trying to track down a BBEG that was a crazed 'human' artificer by the name of Mortos Vivos. What's more is that multiple characters (oddly enough, the ones created by Shanahan's personal friends) had a few 'alterations' from the BBEG, such as our Minotaur Runepriest who had robotic legs that had wheels for heels.

And did I mention Vivos' sort of pet dragon named Ragnarok? It's the thing that ripped the Minotaur's legs off.

I stayed for one session, quit, and then a few weeks or months later I came back since my friends said that game had ended. Shanahan was no longer the only DM (But still maintained a large group, mostly filled with new people), and I got to do some Dark Heresy. Things went smoothly, and then Shanahan announced he was doing another 'Big Game' for the experienced members. I joined for shits and giggles.

It was set in a 'steampunk' world, soul sucking empires, cliche rebels, etc. etc.. It started out okay and then we find evidence of a crazed artificer running around experimenting on people.

Anybody want more?

Keep going.

Yes, pleae

I'm interested.

2/?
Alright, well, the group's on its merry way, and we do typical PC stuff. Steal a sand ship, escape into the desert, think about becoming pirates and suddenly the ship just shuts down.

Luckily, we're close to a landmark, and it happens to be a giant tree.We climb inside, and see there's a dragon at the bottom. Not Ragnarok, and I have to give him credit for not being that dumb. Before we go to fight it, though, our Warlock discovers that the tree is made of souls, somehow, and decides to try and absorb them to gain power. The end result is that the tree instead is absorbed into a leather-bound book at its base with us inside, and we take a trip through some realm of magic.

Now, in between meetings a friend tells me that the name of this book was also the name of the book that Mortos Vivos had, which I had sort of guessed due to it being some latin crap. They also tell me that Vivos was Shanahan's first character ever.

The meeting after, we're introduced to Vivos himself. No, the artificer running around experimenting is not actually Vivos, it's just his avatar. Vivos is explained to be a lawful good godly entity, working against the world-consuming dragon Ragnarok through his own means, and that he's been trapped within the book ever since the dragon corrupted his avatar.

Long story short, we get out of the book and find out the whole planet is going to almost literal hell. We wake up in a castle amidst a giant storm, and over the horizon we see a large shadow approaching.

We're expecting a big showdown against this stupid fucking dragon, and suddenly Vivos-lite shows up, and opens up a portal. The Minotaur Runepriest from the previous game? It's now his servant. This would be okay, if the character wasn't completely and totally min-maxed to hell and back. Ragnarok arrives as we're fighting it, since Vivos-lite does fuck all before teleporting somewhere out of reach, and suddenly actual-Vivos somehow regains control.

More soon.

yes

Luke is that you

3/?, likely the last one

To make things simple, Vivos uses the Runepriest to open a blackhole. It's some Rune that in reality opens a gate to Hell, or something of the sort, but it's basically a black hole. This kills the party, Ragnarok, and the Runepriest, and then Vivos shuts the black hole into the book. We were nice enough to not get mad at Shanahan, since it was his last game before graduating, but we got tired of his shit behind his back. This isn't the last part though, no, there's one more.

The next semester he says over Skype that he's looking to run a World War 1 era super-hero game based around espionage and he needs one more person. At this point I know he'll get bitchy in Skype, and nobody else goes for it, so I bite the bullet and say I'll join.

I show up with the club and go to start character creation, and he already has two friends with him, one who already finished. I opt for a stealthy British character, that sort of thing.

It turns out that, for this World War 1 espionage campaign, one of his friends was playing a Scotsman who was able to generate explosive balls of energy capable of leveling buildings, so long as he was completely hammered. The other was a walking armory of modern day tech that the character was just somehow smart enough to make, while also being stronger than than Thor and more durable than a steel bunker, going by the guy's own description.

I literally just stood up, walked over to the club, and dynamic entry'd into a Deathwatch game. That was the last time I even spoke to Shanahan. There's a few other things that happened both during his presidency and after, but Mortos Vivos and the WW1 game were what really stood out to me.

No, He was just a shard of Luke that came to America.

So let me get this straight. He got you to the big bad, then his OC came in and he said "lol you lose"?

Pretty much. He tried to play it off that it was the good ending and that Vivos would do some lawful good shit, so we 'won'.

See, I have a friend who's into that stuff, fetish-wise, but he doesn't constantly try to rape or needlessly mutilate other characters when he plays.
When he GMs, on the other hand...

But nobody minds, because he usually runs horror.

Should have quit the moment you heard a character is named "Death Life".

It's not so much unique in terms of Archetype, but in terms of how WELL he fit that Archetype. He was a textbook case of rules lawyer.

>Running AL because I'm retarded
>He comes in, joins my table with a character 3 levels ahead of everyone else
>"Oh, don't worry, I'll scale it down to everyone else's level". That's not legal, but whatever, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
>When he said scale down, I thought he meant "undo XP and GP gains from all sessions until he's properly leveled down
>He literally just makes the same exact character just at a lower level
>Including his platemail and magic weapon
>Whatever, I'll have a talk with him later
>During combat, they're all thrashing some low-level garbage
>That guy goes up and hits a dude with his Two-handed sword
>Gives me that look, like he's about to wow me or something with his skill. You know, that look someone gets when they go "Hey, watch this."
>Says "I DROP my two-handed sword..."
>Okaaaay...?
>"...and then I pull out my dagger, and make a bonus action to attack!"
>Um, excuse me?
>"I get to make a bonus action attack, because my dagger is a light weapon, and my other hand is empty!"
>Firmly decline his retarded logic.
>"Well, I know how we can resolve this."
>He has that dumb look on his face as he pulls out his cellphone
>"I know the number to Wizards of the Coast"
>"I'll call them up."
>This motherfucker ACTUALLY steps away from the table mid-session to call WotC on the phone about a table I was running
>The entire table is just shooting "what the fuck?!" looks at each other
>3 minutes later, he comes back looking sullen and just says "Okay, yeah, just ignore me."

That was just day ONE of meeting him.

I didn't know any Latin by then. And I did, the first time around.

None of them have the potential to be DM except maybe, MAYBE Liam, but I don't think he's creative enough to actually create any material, or improve anything useful.

Matt has that creative flow just based on his scripted shit, but would be a terrible DM because I can't see him as impartial.

Woolie doesn't have the sense of 3D and I don't think would be a good fit for navigation purposes, and Pat is just plain shit and I could see him making a DMPC.

No, the only real solution here is to have a 5th person DM for him. Maybe Plague, or even just a random guest nobody I'd be pissed if they managed to snag Chris Perkins or even Mercer.

As for That Guys,
Pat, Liam, and Matt, in descending order, would be nothing but salt if anything bad happened to them. Pat especially considering he regularly cheats in single player games to make himself OP. Liam would get salty and suggest that the players just win even when it's not realistic, and Matt would be the least offensive, but would still get pissy if something happened to him.

Matt would also be the one to constantly make real-world references and ruin the immersion, so there's that.

Woolie is the least shitty, but he would straight up be a murderhobo to the most extreme degree, and I have no reason to believe otherwise.

I've been thinking about this a long while.

The story behind this is surprisingly sweet, actually.

Paige is on a diet that doesn't let her have sweets for a couple more weeks. Pat bought some candy and was eating it. Apparently she playfully commented "Eating candy around me is RUDE you know!"

So Pat decide to eat it in the closet so as not to tempt her/make her feel bad.

Not something I'd expect from him, really. More licking it slowly and mashing it against her face, laughing manically.

And that's why Pat's the best.

Is that closet that big or is Pat that small?

>he actually called up WotC
>they shut down his bullshit
Huh, I guess they aren't so bad after all

It's Pat. Of COURSE he's that small.

>left to right
DISCARDED!

A lifelong friend, the best GM that ever lived, and someone who set fire to my imagination all at once.

I would die for this guy.

Be a good friend, user. Suck his dick.

Remember, it's not gay if you're laughing about how gay you're acting whenever his cock's not wedged down your throat.

I have bedded him while we were both shitfaced drunk and protected his sleep.

You and your friends cheat, choke, and cut each other up? Yeah, I'd say you're the unique one in your group.

It's not really that suprising, this is the guy that said he feels legitimately bad about promoting Mighty No.9 on the podcast, because he's know that them talking about it probably got some people to donate to it.

See, that just makes me angry.
You would imagine that she's put him on a diet against his will and he's sneaking away to gorge on sweets, but then it turns out she's the one on a diet because she wants to look her best for him and to her him hiding to eat candy is a grand romantic gesture that warmed her heart and moistened her pussy.

He's a fat bald angry short little man that plays videogames for a living and on his spare time, with nothing else going on for him. She's so out of his league and so into him that it's nonsensical.

>muh chinese mmo sparkledog

I guess he just assumed you weren't plebs

>Human Artificer named Undead
noice

It's not that rare to see attractive girls fall for guys way below their station.
I'm the most average dude with the most average job in the world and a Veeky Forums nerd on top of that, my girlfriend is a hottie that cooks and cleans for the fun of it and would take a bullet for me.
Sure she's pretty fucking dumb but still.

>Woolie isn't black, he's just wearing blackface in support of Mega Gerbil Hops and the other Blackface Boys.
I think you'll find that's "Blackface Boyz"
The Z is very important.

we ended up settling on Sar-ya over Thar-ja, mostly after five minutes of wondering if the original japanese spelling should be taken into account while another mutual friend wandered past looking for some sake he allegedly brought.

that was a weird fucking night, dude.

>she's pretty fucking dumb
just how dumb?

she has a neckbeard for a boyfriend
do you really need extra info?

>watches suicide squad, harley quinn is so like me I love her
>decides to go as harley quinn for halloween, goes all out with the costume
>thinks she'll be the only harley quinn there
>realizes too late that not only is she not the only harley quinn, but she's one of dozens of harley quinns
>it ruins her night
>she now hates harley quinn
I don't know, you tell me

Sounds like a regular girl