How do you cook an Elf? The same way as human female?
How do you cook an Elf? The same way as human female?
Dylan Jackson
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Alexander Cooper
...
Owen Young
Humanoids aren't even good meat.
Thomas Sullivan
Spitroast, duh
Eli Gutierrez
You don't. Elves taste terrible.
You just burn the bodies and move on.
Wyatt Watson
>>>
Christian Bailey
Got to make sure you cook it on the bone. It's the bone marrow juices that makes elf meat have that special sweet taste
Matthew Young
You have to be especially careful when roasting, baking and frying them since their meat is really delicate. Adding some spices will make them really tasty.
Brandon White
Hard and fast rules of human cannibalism would apply, gut, behead, remove hands and feet, start with thickest cuts, usually thighs. Then boil or roast. For a group of very soft players, confronting grisly cannibalism by way of orcs or a nasty ogre might be a really memorable encounter. For actual details of cannibalism, I recommend the book "Contingency Cannibalism" by Shiguro Takada.
Jayden Parker
If cooking whole, remember that elves are generally less robust than humans, and so shouldn't be cooked as long.
They also tend to be stringy.
James Nelson
>having taste this bad
Landon Murphy
All the elves in my region are half-tendon, I swear. Not a bite on 'em.
Oddly enough, kobolds seem to make decent jerky. The meat even comes pre-spiced for some reason. Personal bet is that the dragons do that on purpose in case their hoard guardians get uppity.
Alexander Moore
You shouldn't cook elves! What kind of sick savage are you?
No, elves should be served raw with a dressing of honey and wild berries. It's the only civilized way!
Jaxson Green
Hmm, would fattening the elves work?
I hear lembas is pretty calorific, and they tend to be fond of sweet fruits and wine, so if you could trick them into much less running about maybe they'd thiccken up a bit?
Distract them with poetry maybe, or "herbs of the forest" - just something to get them sitting around.
Isaiah Rogers
do you have a PDF?
Carson Reed
Elfs are for lewd, not eat.
Sebastian Diaz
I have a theory, elf threads get more frequent and more retarded, the further we get to the weekend.
Nicholas Martinez
Why not both?
Michael Martin
The pdf is available here:
gen.lib.rus.ec
Jaxon Smith
Daniel Moore
It's just Crybaby virtsignaling.
Jayden Moore
I would also be interested in case someone has this and can upload it.
Grayson Collins
what the fuck
Colton Nguyen
You don't cook elves, you cook FOR elves.
I, for one, would totally cook for my hardworking elf waifu
Thomas Nguyen
Waifufag please go and take your abominations of hentai elves with you.
Lucas Walker
>tfw trying to hold back an erection with all your might, will, sweat and tears but you still get the weirdest boner
Robert Bell
....I'm glad I'm off work shortly.
Jonathan Bell
Same as any race, really.
You don't cook all of it, some parts are good for other recipes
Alexander Barnes
As someone who actually tasted human meat - it's not that great. I'd honestly prefer chicken to it.
Isaac Johnson
>tasted human meat
nice way to say ''sucked cock''
Nicholas Johnson
It ain't called "long pork" for nothing.
Lincoln Edwards
Lewd
Ryder Perry
But why?
Isaac Johnson
Because elves are tasty!
And it's not like they're good for anything else anyway.
Justin Carter
That title. Sooo edgy.
Benjamin Clark
Elves are very low in fat, so either wrap them in bacon before roasting or use them to make stews and soups.
Ayden Moore
why cook them when you can eat out
Carson Miller
Eat out as appetizer, then cook.
Henry Richardson
eat out dat pussy
Jaxon Bailey
>ITT: