A dozen members of the town watch (or cops...

Eat them. Alternatively, the help desperately tries to keep me from eating them.

They're flunkies of the corrupt elven regime, so I escape, but they are still human, so I escape non lethally.

Take a whole lota Kamikaze and fly into the biggest adept bitch fit they've ever seen.

Cooperate unless given reason not to. In which case, take one hostage and use them to get the fuck out of dodge.

I ask them to escort me out of town peacefully, as it is my fault I walked into town errantly into town in my powered armor and I do not wish to cause further distress.

I stop.

I actually did this once.

It ended...poorly.

Alright, fine, you can have an autograph too.

>"No, YOU stop!"

I'm a youxia and not subtle about it.
If they're stupid enough to accost me they either are on the take, working for a corrupt boss, or led by a youxia themselves.

In the latter two cases I'll just escape with Lightfoot where they can't follow, in the former I'll use Lightfoot to get away from everyone except him and fight him fair. Maybe we'll become bros after the fight, who knows?

"Nah."

Carefully talk to them while reaching for his weapons, if they seem hostile he'll try to run like hell before they completely surround him.

"Oh shit!"
>runaway.mp4

Sure thing offi-WHOA FUCK WHATS THAT OVER THERE!?
>cheese it
>youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg starts playing

*farts in my fist*

Men after my own heart. Good lads

Let them realize who they're talking to.

At this point, everyone should expect the Imperial Inquisition.

>Half-Ogre fighter
I stop and give the biggest, dumbest grin they've ever seen

Stare directly in to the eyes of the lead guard and say "these are not the travelers you are looking for".
Then continue along my way.

Comply if I'm already surrounded.
If they knew about 1/10th the shit he's done they would have started shooting already.
If I'm not surrounded, and can feasibly get to it without too much shooting, the nearest shady alley.

Stop

>Star Wars, Force-sensitive ex-pirate
Run like fuck, use the Force to give me an edge if I have to. I may be trying to get redemption, but I can't do that on Kessel or in some Inquisitor's personal torture chamber

AM I BEING DETAINED?

Use baleful polymorph to turn the town watch into bimbo sluts for my harem. Being a high-level wizard is awesome.

Can't think of any character I've recently played that wouldn't stop and inquire what's going on, much less answer with immediate violence.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

*roll to bluff*
"Uncle Oswald!"
*hug*

He has come. The One.

our current game has us playing kobolds sneaking around the human world, so if i there isn't a building i can climb, surrender immediately and hope they don't fucking kill me. i can probably escape from a cell, but otherwise i'd be pretty screwed.

>sweat profusely
This country's city watch is ridiculously good at their job. Like, modern spec-ops tier good. Anywhere else, your average guard guy is as unimpressive and typical as he can get.
But not in this fucking place, oh no. Here, they have an elaborate alarm system with light arrows, horns, bells and what fucking have you. They never move alone, and when interacting with anything, one of those fuckers is always slightly at the back, ready and vigilant. Bolas are their standard equipment.

We got fucked by those guys so hard those few times and once, we had to burn down several buildings to get rid of them.
We are terrified of those guys. They enter the tavern and there's a whole lot of "aw shit" on our faces.

tl;dr
I need a diplomat and I need him RIGHT NOW

"You'd better have a damn good reason for taking that tone with me, guardsman. And straighten out that uniform!" My latest character is captain of the guard in a city-based campaign.

Well, if its my shadowrunner and I'm positive it'll only get worse.. drop down a smoke grenade (of your choice, I have built in rebreather and my eyes see infrared) followed by auto-injecting Kamikaze and proceeding to start RIP AND TEAR with four cybernetic arms in complete silence.

Glare at them

Inquisitors don't like it when people don't respect the hat

Start a huge scene to get attention away from the rest of the party.

"Is there a problem, Arbiter?"

>Starship systems technician
"Err...hello. What's the problem?"
>Hands off of weapons
>As nonthreatening a stance as I can manage

I stop masturbating and button up my pants like every good citizen would.

>High level Time/Fate/Space mage
"Alright, just let me-ZA WARUDO!"
>Stop time
>Teleport away

>and then you jump onto that cart and the music switches to
youtube.com/watch?v=aKSkvFRKN-M

MeeeEEE?!?

>Prepare to deal, bribe, and swindle.

Stop, act even more religious and peaceful than she already is, and silently pray that they believe her story of being adopted and raised in the church of (generic LN god often worshiped by paladins) instead of trying to kill her. If she isn't that lucky and they attack her for being drow she would start casting and try to escape without hurting them while apologizing profusely because they're just trying to do their jobs but she needs to stay alive to continue her holy crusade against her kind and other peoples who refuse to live their lives correctly.

That sounds badass. I hate that so many settings have completely ineffectual law enforcement.

My character gets picked up by cops every morning for work

Shadowrun: Get behind the street samurai and start Running matrix perceptions for anything in the area that will cause the best distraction/damage.

DnD: Cast invisibility and nope the fuck out

Whatever you heard its probably false or our alchemists fault, and if its about that accident with the guard tower i can explain.

Hey hey!

LAWFUL evil the detect alignment spell said! LAWFUL

I stop, raising my hands to show I mean no harm, and ask them What I can do for them today.

I put my hand behind my back and make it seem like i am gonna pull a gun and shoot them, they respond and kill me and the rest of my party then spend their days rioting and demanding justice and money. I was a good boy who went to church and was going to start attending college, a gentle giant.

"You're under arrest for the murder of the baker and his son."

Your spell triggers the hostile magic contingency each guard is enscrolled with before they go on patrol. Oddly enough, it's as if you are not the only magic user in the setting and law enforcement is prepared for your kind.

The magic reflects back on you. There are a dozen of them, so can you make 12 fort saves, followed by 12 will saves?

Thanks.

"Officer, I am being framed. I never even found the kid!"

I am sorry officer.
We aren't exhibitionists.
It's just our peoples culture.

Party is wood elves who all went unarmoured.

Abjuration wizard.
Sun monk.
Bear totem barbarian.
Rogue 3 Swashbuckler/Blue dragon sorcerrer gish.

We need a bard to complete this traveling band of nudists going around and stealing everyones women.

Leg it

"Hammertime"

this

Probably stop.

Im a big ass orc in a human only settlement, if they want to find me theyll find me and gun me down.

> "No, YOU stop!"

Stop and obey the law
I'm a walking suit of armour who strives to protect the weak and uphold justice
Unless they caught me stealing souls to survive, which I need to do from time to time
In that case I try to either run for it or murder hobo those guards

Stops, I guess. What now?

prepare your anus

youtube.com/watch?v=YXd6MeIOuyA

Incinerate a city block and flee in the ensuing chaos

Party is wanted for acts of terrorism. It's a misunderstanding, but it'd be extremely inconvenient for the world at large if we were detained.

Ask what's happening, and if shit goes down I teleport. My character might be Chaotic Evil, but that doesn't make him stupid.

Perhaps you wouldn't be wanted as terrorists if you didn't set fire to things at the first sign of being stopped by the fuzz

Accuse them of racial profiling. Never accidentally use the Book of Vile Darkness to cast spells at level 3

Follow them back to their precinct, then have them all shot for their Impudence.

Tell them it's about damn time they showed up and fast talk about what must undoubtedly be a misunderstanding until he can slip away or jump in a river to escape again