What makes snails a credible threat?

Giant mind-controlling snails with laser eyes. fuck.

THE GIANT FUCKING FLAILS THAT IS THEIR FACE

+1

Best way to go without typical magic stuff.
Ambush predator that strikes fast with ultra potent venomous spear or dart made from modified teeth.

Is that a Blackadder reference?

Always keep your giant snail well-fed!

They have a chainsaw inside their mouths.

...

That fish had ages to escape. Why didnt he?

Paralytic poison.

They attract their main predator, the French.
Which is kinda bad if you're English or something.

It shot a tooth filled with neurotoxin at the fish.

Fish could barely move and was watching its own demise creep toward it.

I wonder if giant snail meat would tastes good

People eat conch all the time.

It's like a firmer claim and is usually sliced thin and softened in citric acid to make it less chewy.

Honestly... not bad.

That is some real lurker above type shit.

I am incredibly uncomfortable with how it just kept spreading out like that. Growing larger and larger like an insane net or something.

nice filename

Probably. Escargot is a delicacy. Also I've seen plenty of survival shows where people say limpets and banana slugs taste good when cooked well, why not snails?

Giant snail would probably be really tender and juicy.

Guns.

Memes

>posts image of snail attacking a foot knight armed only with mail, a heater shield, and a gnarled wooden club.
It is obviously the high period, 13th century, and possibly France from the coloration on the armor and shield, making this an incredibly poor knight for the time period.
This man is defending his home, his fellow man, and even his family with his very life to defeat this beast. It is obvious that he does this out of a sense of righteousness to save others due to his expression of ecstasy as opposed to one of disdain when losing to a hated enemy.
And you have the unmitigated gall to ask how snails may be a threat?

see

make them poisonous

theres some sea snail in brazil that can kill with a sting, because the pains so bad you cant breathe, and your heart might explode

Little do knights know that snails aren't the biggest threat.

>Banana slugs
>Don't taste like bananas

They'd likely be ambush predators. While they're relatively slow, they're silent, and if they can get within a certain distance of their prey they can shoot an envenomed barb or bite them to subdue them. In addition, their mucous would likely be thick and sticky enough to severely hamper the use of most weapons after a single strike, or even ensnare weaker targets. And their shells would likely be formed out of a combination of the materials that they consume, so a steady diet of steel and bone would form a sturdy shell over time.

And that's not even touching on bizarre aspects that could be found in a low or high magic setting

>Nigga get slurped up like spaghetti while its body's internals are crushed to the point where it vomits blood

No wonder the french eat the snails young, they want them to not grow that big.

>It shot a tooth filled with neurotoxin at the fish.
>Fish could barely move and was watching its own demise creep toward it.

I guess that explains the look of abject terror in the fish's eyes as it struggled to move.

Wreck your monastary garden pretty mad

>follow your dreams.webm

This is the stuff that gives me nightmares.

Extremely lethal poison?

Some snails have symbiotic worms with teeth that jump out and bite attackers.

Those man-o-war geralt things are cool.

Then there are the slime mold shapeshifters

...

Their ability to rapidly reproduce with anything.

Ever had a rainy summer? Snails can devastate a vegetable garden.

>What makes snails a credible threat?
FYI.

The only way this makes sense if you scale down the knight to the snails size as the flowers are oversized on the left.

Those aren't flowers you dumb ass, those are trees.

Imagine being paralyzed by their venom and having a horse sized one of those things slowly rasping away at your legs.

Just before you die of blood loss you can hear it grating on the bony stumps that used to be your ankles.

>playing Gardens&Grasshoppers
>All your lettuce keeps being devoured by motherfucking snails

I hate these threads. They always make me look behind me because they make me afraid that a giant spider or insect or snail is looking over my shoulder. It makes me feel unsafe and exposed.

Don't worry user, there's nothing to worry about.

why didn't you post a web if it shooting the venom filled tooth?

KEK

...

>what makes dire crop pests a threat?

I think it might have been a metaphor.

I hate how other animals eat their prey alive.
At least we give our food a quick death, first.

>filename
kek

user, trust me, for the Spider God is your friend!

Something less redarded helping it fight.

Given the man on pick related is fighting using a club, one can assume he is only out picking delicacies for his lord.

No, Knights Vs Snails is a wierdly reoccuring theme for illustrations in the margins of religious text created by monks during the middle and medieval ages.

Nobody really knows why.

It's kind of like kids doodling pirate stick figures fighting ninja stick figures in their maths workbooks.

Genetically engineered snails that reproduce fast and are somehow disgusting to most predators.

They are not giant.
They don't have any laser.
They are not hard to kill.

But there are a lot of them. They eat all the crops and no matter how hard peasants try, they can't get rid of them. Peasants are forced to pay people to watch the fields days and nights and trample the snails.
Food prices skyrocket. Hunger riots happen, massive starvings happen, and not only in Africa, in every continent. Human population drops to less than 1 billion. Human resources are so focused on growing food and watching snails that they don't have any spare time to research things and humans make very little technological progress.

The reason I've heard, although it could just be someone's speculation, is that because monks did a lot of gardening and farming they really hated snails and so would draw themselves as knights heroically battling against giant snails.

>He doesn't know about The Snail Wars

youtube.com/watch?v=q_aZnfMZ0hs
youtube.com/watch?v=5qlxmKghiHI
More snail related horror.

>archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/49777965/
Good thread.

/eat snail

That's more to due to convinience and values. There is some Chinese dish that fries a fish alive so that the head is intact. If the fish dies before serving, the chef has failed.

probably, sounds like a classic white nerd insider joke. And those dudes were all nerds.

Yeah, but most of us kill before we eat.
Even in China, it's a delicacy, and we all know how Chinks are barely human.

I think Tofu Hell is worse or this app1.chinadaily.com.cn/star/2004/0219/cu18-1.html

French, pls go

>that final convulsions before death
nightmare fuel

acid breath

>tfw dying thread

For you

...

What's going on in this thread?

my cat was staring at me when i looked behind me

spooky

>Back in the day NEETs would live in monasteries, write books and shitpost each other.
>Today NEETs live with their parents, pretend to write books and shitpost each other.

Nothing has changed.

Advances in shitposting have come a long way since then.

In the After the Bomb RPG by Palladium Books humanity is nearly extinct. Mutant animals rule sand mutant insects have taken the place of animals as mounts, cattle, pack animals.

The character creation system is cool where you trade points for animal "powers" like flight, vision, smell, natural weapons, prehensile tails.

Not really, just the medium that's used.

Opposable thumbs and an ideal land speed of 70mph.

Glorantha/Rune Quest

Armoured battle-snail.

The second video is particularly horrifying when you consider how the snail eats. Crabs are protected by a thick armored shell, and snails aren't equipped with means to crush the shell. So it holds the crab in place and uses its radula to slowly drill a hole through the shell, and then suck out the insides. The crab is alive through most of the process (you can see it still twitching at the end of the video). That would not be a very fun way to die.

This is cool it's slow but nothing can stop it.