Failure

>In highschool, one of my group wants to DM so I let him, runs a D&D that leads to "Planescape" story
>Game is overall good, solid dungeon and interesting battles
>Near end of dungeon we clear it and then solve a riddle that transports us to a fantastical city in planes far away.
>Game starts to devlove quickly, some reason he's projecting into the game now. Everywhere we turn demi-gods are literally just dicking on us and using retarded magic to dimension door us away when we try and talk to someone.
>Start getting bored and making table jokes
>Suddenly decides to go all Tyrant DM. Some 'peasant' deity-spawn runs and just says "Beware the Lady is the most powerful in the world! Say anything bad she'll strip your flesh and throw you back in the street"
>I say "Oh at least she's polite and puts you back where she found you."
>Some magical woman appears and kills me
>He's looking at me like 'I totally beat you'
>Just sigh and start looking in MM for characters to be
>He starts dicking on all the PC's
>Reroll, get into the game again. The magical woman has just killed another Party Member. Turns to the group and says "I'll take your bones next!"
>Can't fight the innuendo.
>Die again.
>Eventually I just thank him with 'Yeah mate I've had enough now. Bye' and just walk out.
>Three others join us.
>Just him and the guys whose hosting us left
>Get a text 5 minutes later saying "Come back I'll let you play anything you want."
>Never game with him again.

Last I heard he went to uni and then returned home to be a total creep. He got done for meeting some teenager in the infamous 'underage slappers go here' nightclub and tried to strangle her with shoelaces. I'm not even kidding.

That's it? Wow, you guys really need some thicker skin.

When your kid starts swearing up a storm it looks really bad on you.

>stop swearing in front of our kid
>ok
>swears anyways
>stop
>ok
>swears anyways
>stop
>ok
>swears anyways
>stop you fucking faggot
>reeeeeeee I don't understand why you're being mean your wife is being a bitch
>Because we keep telling you to stop being a faggot but you won't
>I don't need to take this shit reeeee this is your problem not mine

Pretty easy to understand the group's displeasure.

I get that part. But becoming super pissed and losing the will to live? That's just as moronic as the guy who disrespects the host, even more maybe.

it's called hyperbole

It's called being limp-wristed melodramatic bitches.
Fucking sheltered millenials.

You must get invited to all the interesting parties. Don't you?

>in front of our kid

This is why my group has a strict no hangers-on policy. No waifus, gfs, bfs, parents, preachers, parole officers... If they aren't playing the game, they don't need to be there.

It makes for a much less drama-filled and more productive session.

Well, I used to when I was younger, did lots of booze, weed, tried lsd once.
Now I enjoy dinner parties better. I still have appearances to keep, but I have laid low on the wild parties. I'm in the city council now, and a grownup.

Oh gods, to be you, with the liberty of a private space to game
You blessed blessed man

>the joke
>your head
The autism is strong with this one

>Have you seen a group fall apart so badly that it ruined the whole game?
>What was your own worst failure?

Once, I ran a game online for two randoms I met up on the Internet for about three months or so. We had a regular schedule and we had, like, more than 20 4-5 hour sessions in that timespan. It was great fun for everyone involved, and we honestly had a lot of good fun.
One day, I failed to login, because I didn't feel like running the game. I've never logged in since. It has been over two years since then. I didn't run a single game ever since.

It's not autism, it's jewery, politics, and arguing semantics.

Are you literally retarded?

see
yes. he is likely

Sounds like you're a bunch of fags honestly, including your wife.

>organise game for newbies in DH
>get a group of 4, seem like solid dudes
>they play like they're attempting to fail the investigation
>one of them never bothers to learn what to roll
>another is a rules-lawyer that halted the game regularly even when told not to constantly
>every piece of advice I give them gets shut down because "you're a cruel GM"\
>start developing hatred for all of them
>feeling miserable every time the day we played arrived
>give up one day and ditch the group without notice

I feel like some bridges need to be burned down to a coal. I miss none of them and am not sorry.

...

that's how campaigns usually end actually.

otherwise they keep going.

No, I am literally a genius. I have an IQ of 148.

>every piece of advice I give them gets shut down because "you're a cruel GM"

...

Our last session ended in an attempted murder which was eventually pled down to assault.

>muh 9gorillion IQ
>that means I'm really smart guise I'm definitely not lying and autistic
Simply eric

Your wife is gay for dick

Story time!

According to what?

Oh my GOD. We had some fucking asshole join who ruined the entire game with his OOC bitching.

>I'm in the city council now, and a grownup.
As a fellow grownup who covers city council meetings, there's nothing impressive about this.

...

Fine, then tell me what's his name

I'm not on the spectrum. My school had me tested.

youtu.be/In9oSjjltOs

Storytime it you double felon!

I know, but shit, I never would get anything done if I were a limp-wristed faggot like the guy who started this whole mess.
The Stanford-Binet meme test, unfortunately. But that was ages ago.
Don't know, don't care

Sure you do, bud.
I tested 140 IQ when I was 14 on an online test I took out of curiosity, does that make me genius too?

Schools do not test for autism.

Unless you get tested by a professional it doesn't mean anything, and even then it means fuck-all.

But they can "ask politely" if you are hyperviolent and weird and other kids' parents are threatening with lawsuits against the school

>guys I got tested I'm not autistic
>but I'm going to continue to not understand social cues and dynamics at all, to a robotic degree
>but I'm not autistic!

I had a group where half the party acted like they were to cool to be playing a tabletop game while the other half was to passive to get the game moving.

An argument started over who owed what for the pizza guy's tip and two of the guys just lost their fucking minds and started bringing up basically every wrong either had ever committed before circling back to some girl they were fighting over(which I presume was the real cause all along). Things got physical and since one of them was 6'5 and ripped as fuck and the other most certainly wasn't any of those things, it ended with a pretty savage chair-beating.

Is adult onset autism a thing? If so, I will set up a gofundme and you guys will give me a thousand bucks so I can afford a real nice test. Maybe I am autistic, but I don't have the money or the time to get tested again.

>what's his name

Jesus, I've been on /pol/ too much since Tuesday, I can't read this combination of words anymore without laughing.

>yep
>autism

>'underage slappers go here' nightclub

These...these aren't just urban legends?

>Mike "LGBBQ" Pence

One of my groups just fell apart because the GM refused to run a game for Trump supporters after Trump won. He was so damned butthurt he couldn't bear to be in our presence.

I've seen some shitposters in my life, but this? This definitely takes the cake.

My mere presence torpedoed a game once. My then-girlfriend had been RPing with a group at her college for awhile, all of the other players were none-too-subtly crushing on her, one guy got gropey and my girlfriend invited me to start attending games with her.

Long story short one of the other players tried to hit her and got arrested, I was out of practice with D&D and didn't fit in well with the rest of the party, another guy got pissed at me and told the DM either I left or he did, DM told me to stop coming, girlfriend quit the group in protest, another guy quit the group, entire campaign fell apart and group never got back together before girlfriend graduated and we moved out of state.

Still feel bad about it, my now-wife hasn't played a tabletop RPG since.

Benedict Cumberbatch?

What's the /pol/ meme behind this guy?

Glad you like it, George. Did you see how many (me)s I've gotten itt?

>Too cool to play tabletop games
Fucking, the worst.

>Too passive to get the game going
Just kidding, these guys are literally double niggers. NOTHING is worse than a bunch of awkward teenagers sitting around not doing anything because they don't want to draw attention to themselves. WOULD INDIANA JONES TWIDDLE HIS FUCKING THUMBS AND MUMBLE "UMMMMM" ALL DAY, YOU USELESS ASS HATS? REEEEEEEEEEEE

Manlets. When will they learn?

Seconding this.
City councilmen are self important whiny and socially impotent.

If they had true charisma or power they would be real politicians.

can somebody screencap this one?

Not knowing some random cunt dosnt make someone retarded. if you know who Stan Nichols is i won't be Flabbergasted by your "brilliance"

>Oh god! He knew a dudes name! He must be he chosen one.

Getting mad instead of just GISing the image points towards you being autistic, though.

>>Oh god! He knew a dudes name! He must be a truenamer
ftfy

He's not me, though.

Can't blame him. I wouldn't want to run a game for a bunch of inbred rednecks either.

kys and go back to >>>/tumblr/

Short Man's Syndrome.

Manlets are always trying to start shit.
They deserve every beat down that they get.

No.

It's called Strand 58.

Don't even know if it's there anymore. Every 16 year old tries to get in dressed up like a douche.

Politics and games should never mix, I remember I tried to join a group back in 2012 and the DM wanted to know who I was planning on voting for before he'd let me join, decided to just back out

An ass kicking, maybe. Getting smashed flat with a chair? Nah, that was way beyond acceptable.

I will never play WoD after my experience with it. I liked it for a long time, but now it's poison.

>Run WoD (mostly mage) off and on for the better part of a decade.
>Start up new campaign.
>Old guard players are mostly too busy with kids or work to play
>Okay, time to get new blood to fill the gaps.
>3 new players 2 old.
>New players bitch every time things don't go their way.
>Blame me for their dice.
>They eventually drive off one of the older players.
>Fill the spot with a random.
>The're worse than the others.
>"That's not the way it happens in (Supernatural, True Blood, ect.)"
>"That's not how (trendy nerd celebrity) plays rpgs."
>Can't build tension or horror because new players get mad if I don't tell them what is happening ahead of time.
>Finally call the game off after months of trying to sculpt the new kids into good players (other old guard already left)
>"Okay user we'll just run our own game"
>"Sounds like a good idea" maybe then they'll understand how much their behavior sucks from my side of the table.
>"Cool! When can I come over and pick up the books then?"
>wat
>"You're not playing right, so you don't need them. We are playing, so we should have the books so we can play"
>"No"

I just hung up on them, and wrote off the place we had been playing as unusable for 6 months. I know that WoD players aren't the most amicable group, but I've taken plenty rough/new players through learning how to play. I've played with a random wearing fake fangs who asked we call him by his character name out of game. I've played with a literal autist who barely spoke above a whisper, and never in 6 months looked me in the eyes. I would take all of my former 'worst' players over the group I just played with.

I've talked with a friend who also runs WoD about it, and she had the same problems start up a few years ago. She tried to start an all new player game of D&D, and even that was just a nightmare.

What the fuck is with the new blood now?

OH BOY HERE IT COMES

I don't get it. Please explain for clueless newfag.

> Trying to steal your books.
Every thread I'm reminded my worse players are small fry.

As for the new blood, I've had problems with folk playing it like a video game and just not roleplaying.

My brother had some people from his work that wanted to play D&D 5e so I said I would DM them. There were four players, all new.

One guy was this fat babyfaced dweeb who spoke a mile a minute and was super excited. Whatever, that's fine.

I decide to just do a premade because everyone is pretty new to the rules and RPGs in general, so we start to introduce the characters in an inn. Most players are just brooding/dark/misunderstood whatevers, but babyface is a Dragonborn with Red Dragon lineage and completely min/maxed to be a pure Charsima/Persuasion/Intimidation build. I started them out at level 5. I didn't really care about balance or long-term planning because this was supposed to just be an introduction game to the rules.

Babyface went first.

The FIRST thing he said: "I want to seduce the bartender." The FIRST fucking thing. I said, uh, ok, roll persuasion. FUCKING NATURAL 20. I sighed and had the bartender come back over to the table and start talking with him. Cue 5 minutes of super awkward conversation and then he went upstairs with her. I said "Ok you both go into one of the rooms." I tried to switch the action back to the other players, but the dude kept asking, "What happens next?" It was insane. I said, "Well, you bang the shit out of her with your nasty dragon dick, right?" and he started roaring with laughter. Like, he's beet red and laughing hysterically to the point where he can't breathe. No one else is laughing. I'm starting to think this kid has mental issues. After this he got the group to go from building to building, trying to bang every woman in sight. When the group members protested, he would intimidate/persuade them and win the rolls.The other players were pissed. And he horribly, awkwardly tried to get me to roleplay the seduction out with him.

First and last game I DM'ed for them.

"whats his name?" is just a /pol/ meme. Some one posts a picture along with the question and people reply with the answer but toss in pithy aliases/honorifics.

Paul "give 'em the maul" Manafort
Hillary "burn em in bengazi" Clinton
Milo "our faggot" Yandalonanopus
Mike "LGBTBBQ" Pence

etc etc.

Honestly, it's a general WoD problem. I can't even be considered old guard, but the amount of self-entitled assholes and morons that flock to any WoD game is astounding

>play VtM
>everyone talks to each other like they owe money to them
>ST uses GM fiat to engage into casual cruelty against PCs for no reason
>allows some 14 y.o. who thinks is funny to make a literal Fishmalk
>suddenly it's Call of Cthulhu with vampires
>game dies then and there

>play VtR
>ST becomes really invasive on character progression
>gets incredibly mad at players for "rollplaying" when he doesn't know what one of the Flaws does
>game falls apart after he kicks a guy for calling his (forced) Sire a failure

>run VtR
>gets his ass handed to him when he tries to solo a hospital ward's worth of orderlies with no combat skills
>ragequits
>get more players for the game
>they are all awkward dumbasses that can't seem to get the whole "talking" thing down
>start flaking at day 2
>call the game off

It's something I first saw on /v/. OP would post a picture of the character Kazuhira Miller from Metal Gear and ask "What's his name again?"

People would then give him racially inflammatory nicknames.

Kaz "Fulton a coon and I'll shoot the balloon" Miller
Kazuhira "Empty my 9 on the Welfare Line" Miller
Kaz "Only one race on Mother Base" Miller

etc., etc., etc.

It's recently started coming back again on /pol/, but with members of the incoming Trump administration, mostly Mike Pence. But Bunnydunk Cumdumpster isn't immune to it, on account to his quirky name.

>I've played with a literal autist who barely spoke above a whisper, and never in 6 months looked me in the eyes.
i mean i bet that's irritating but it's one of the least offensive things an autistic person could have done

>Run Rogue Trader for three people
>First session is pretty good
>Second session is extremely well-received
>Third session, Rogue Trader's player doesn't come online
>Tell RT's player to cancel in advance if he can't come
>"Lol it's an online game, not showing up is normal"
>Doesn't show up the week after either
>Almost a week later, he explains he has something planned each friday and doesn't have time that day, which he already knew for three weeks
>Group can't find a day to play and falls apart

I think the joke when asking about Cumberbatch's name is that it is pretty unusual and you're supposed to reply with a mispelling of his name.

Like, Bendadick Cuminmysnatch.

>When the group members protested, he would intimidate/persuade them and win the rolls
faggot detected

>DM's Edgelord friend makes nasty "joke" about our resident player + host's disabled wife (terrible leg limp) while in LGS
>In true Hollywood style, Guy has arrived and overhears, just turns on his heel and walks away
>deletes us all from facebook and leaves lgs groups, never see him again, such a nice guy too
>Me and a couple of others demand Edgelord is permabanned, he isn't
>We leave group, visit LGS once in a blue moon now

Thanks Coldsteel you fucking cunt

>>"Lol it's an online game, not showing up is normal"
The fact that you didn't kick him then and there baffles me.

To be fair, I thought he was joking at first. I only learnt some time later that he sincerely believed what he said.

I had just started an eberron game via irc, and 2 of the players were in a long distance relationship. Shortly into the relationship the girl dumped the guy and started 'dating' one of the other players. The kerfluffle caused the 3 players to all drop out which almost killed the game. Thankfully I was able to salvage the situation by bringing in a few friends for fresh blood, and the campaign continued for another 2 or so yeas before we finished it.

I was GMing a two-timelines campaign about timetraveling to prevent a phyrexian-like apocalypse in a spanish inquisition western world, and i had a group of players for each timeline.

I had an edgy pyromaniac, a paranoid gunslinger, a randumb gunslinger making overly complex plans, a onedimensional warrior bitch, and an opportunist scholar.

I was expecting two guys in particular, one per timeline (bitch and pyromaniac), to be the weak link of the chain.
I was trying my best to keep stuff understandable but still mysterious for everyone. I didn't want them to get bored when they didn't get all the connections between timelines, or for them not to understand clues for more plotlines to come.

I was wrong. The obnoxious or edgy players weren't the ones who derailed the story and burned it to the ground. They simply followed the events as they unfolded as they had found interest in a coherent partecipation.

The paranoid guy instead went control-freak and needed to take account of everything, build infrastructures, organize a stable economy plan for the group, start an industry of anachronistic special weaponry to stockpile weapons and money to bribe and rebuild the world, and plan out every possible action before actually making a single move.

Realize that I didn't ban any of his options, and let him do as he pleased, believing he'd finally feel safe enough to actually start adventuring again and going on with the plotlines. He was my friend and I had RPed a lot with him and some of the others, which cared for the story at this point. I believed this line of action would have interesting repercussions and never really plotted too much ahead, except for some important, unavoidable plot points. I was always improvisational and it was fun for everyone, or so I believed.
Then one day the paranoid guy told us outta nowhere he couldn't play anymore. I rescheduled for next week, but he decided to let me know 'he couldn't handle the rpg pressure anymore'.

Cont.

It goes back a bit farther than that, from the days of Ben "The One Man Klan" Garrison.

>let me know 'he couldn't handle the rpg pressure anymore'.
dodged a bullet there. Hope you dont play with him anymore

Must be neat to game with the CEO of Grubhub.

Let's not forget the golden days of Dan "Inside Her" Schneider

Smug

C'mon user, don't leave us hanging for a part 2

>not greentexting
>not typing it up beforehand
How new ru?