Are only virgins allowed to ride unicorns in your setting, Veeky Forums?

Are only virgins allowed to ride unicorns in your setting, Veeky Forums?

In the initial (western) myths, weren't maidens used to lure unicorns out into the open where they were slaughtered by dudes with pikes?

And wasn't that shit based on a similar near-eastern tale with a woman baring her breasts for the beast to suckle before grappling it by the horn and (again) letting a bunch of guys murder it?

Yes, but this made everyone else jealous, so Inicorns were enslaved a while back and forced to breed with regular horses. Now all horses have some percentage of Unicorn Blood and Vice Versa.

Yeah, which provides the interesting situation where my players can do something in a fantasy setting that their munchkined characters can't.

I always assumed they were more interested in catching the unicorn than killing it, since riding a mythical warhorse with a sword on its forehead is a badass thing for a warrior to have.

Most art depicts the thing getting killed. There's complicated religious allegory late in the myth's development conflating the virgin with Mary, and the death of the unicorn as similar to Christ's sacrifice somehow. It's complicated stuff that I'm almost certainly butchering, but hopefully you get the gist.

Also,
>riding a unicorn
Unicorns are like stolen cars. Better to chop it up for parts. They're almost never domesticable.

Yup.
Though some unicorns are willing to skirt the rules if want to help transport people to where they need to be urgently, via use of horse-drawn vehicles or other technicalities.
Though they're not about to do it unless you need to slay a dark lord or something, they won't do shit if you want to beat the evening rush.

That's just because Unicorns enjoy deflowering maidens.

Where does the idea of them having healing powers come from?

Horns look like boners, and being able to get a boner means you're in good health.

Unicorns are comprised of a big pile of myths that get hard to trace. Certain versions say you can drink something from the horn (can't remember if it's wine, water or something else) and it'll act as a cure-all.

The Natural History of Unicorns is a decent read if you're into learning about the folklore and origins on this one.

...

Yes.
Only male virgins are allowed to "ride" unicorns in my setting.

Supposedly, but the last unicorn was seen in a now destroyed forest over 800 years ago.

Purity leading into Purification I guess. Diseases are bad shit getting into the body to be purged.

Do you have a single fact to back that up?

Oh yes!

...

Don't feel left out, OP. You'd still be able to ride one in my setting.

>Are only virgins allowed to ride unicorns in your setting, Veeky Forums?

No way, dude.

All that Unicorn folklore is pure bullshit in the setting: Unicorns are unpredictable, violent, ill-tempered, territorial, with all the worst personality traits of goats and zebras shoved into one aggressive monstrous horse topped with a 2ft long ivory horn.

They're not intelligent, they're not "good", they're not magical- it's literally just a big ass horse with a horn.

Virginity has little to do with it. It's all about innocence. So the sterotypical little sweetheart child with proper manners can probably pet one, but that 14 year old slag from down the street who talks shit behind peoples backs is still gonna get run through regardless of the fact she hasn't jumped someones bones yet. So I guess everyone who can be around Unicorns is a virgin but not everyone who is a virgin can be around unicorns.

Why is SMBC always relevant?

...

>Only thing in setting called a unicorn is a tank
Uh, I'm pretty sure anyone can ride a tank.

>not having your military have all-virgin divisions
shit setting desu

Well, I'm pretty sure the privates are all idiot virgins. The brass tend to be married and most have kids.

Either way, even if the military was all virgins, it wouldn't stop non-virgins from being able to operate a regular old tank.

>not having all advanced combat gear directly link to the brain of the user, only operating at maximum potential when the user has not had sex
S H I T
H
I
T

Where the fuck are we getting advanced combat gear in a mostly mundane WWI-esque setting?

FROM THE FUTURE

What if the future has objectively worse technology because we fuck things up?

THEN FARTHER INTO THE FUTURE

>An endless string of fuck ups until the acceleration of the expansion of the universe makes it so atoms can no longer form into molecules

The past! We've got 13 billion years behind us, there must have been SOME advanced species.

Nah, anyone can try. The unicorns try to stop anyone who isn't a virgin, though.

It's their fetish. Lot of original myths that inspired creatures are pretty magical realmy...

>Every species created have been stupider than humanity

No unicorns. Unicorns are boring.

In our group, the running gag is that Unicorns always introduce themselves as the Last Unicorn, whether or not it's actually true, usually in an attempt to seem more special snowflakey. This has led to the DM introducing the Penultimate Unicorn in one of his campaigns.

Also, most early art depicts them to be more goat like. So, riding them would be less assumed, maybe?

Because that's rule something or other of the internet

I'm imagining a setting where only wizards could - and have to - ride unicorns.

So every virgin over 25 years of age is taken to a brothel or an equestrianism club. Either way, they're gonna learn to ride.

But regarding OP's actual question:
Nope!

A parallel universe, then! There's an infinite amount!

Yeah, just look at the Minotaur.

sometimes it hits too close

>ancient creature so fierce it slays dragons on a regular basis

How the fuck can you call that boring?

It's the opposite, unicorns can only ride virgins.

>unicorn allows character to ride it
>little did the unicorn know the character was a lesbian, and indeed had sex with other girls
It was simply too crazy to not work.

I never thought unicorns as an embodiment of good, but more an embodiment of the wild. They're wild horses with essentially swords attached to their heads.

They're wild and innocent and it takes that to ride one, which is why elven women who get to ride one become crazy warrior chicks.

No because it would start a pedantic argument among my group about what constitutes virginity, starting with determining if male virgins count, followed by narrowing down what level and precise types of sexual contact would cause one to no longer be a virgin. Everybody would have a different opinion about what crosses the line and the session would be completely derailed.
Unicorns reveal themselves to the 'pure of heart' which is an entirely narrative designation and not up for debate.

He does one every day and has been doing them for years, and they cover a huge range of topics.

user, please. If you are still around, we need to hear the tale of the Penultimate Unicorn.

wch unicon wud u rid?

No, Unicorns in my setting are carnivorous horses with a very bad temper.

The older ones can also temporarily blind you with some form of magic flashbang, an idea I blatantly stole from Heroes of Might and Magic.

wow i was certain i saved the bigger version im retarted

No, but the unicorn will relentlessly slut shame you until you run away crying.

God I hope some retard from buzzfeed doesn't see this post

Here comes the war on patriarchal unicorns

>The Cavalry Order of Saint Fedorus is one of the most powerful riding units of Non-Europe!.
>Their exotic katana martial training is complemented by the might of their rides, the legendary unicorns.
>The novices of the order, the "pseudo-normies" display archaics acts of chivalry, like rising the visor of their helmets when someone says something insightful or treating women by "M'Lady"
>The veterans of the order, the "Long neckbeards" grow bitter with the time, and they are know for the rudeness of their manners and the way they call girls "roasties", almost like if they were cursing.

No. Only the spiritually pure can. Paladins, Good Priests, those following the path of Exalted Good, or the like. Oh and douchebags that somehow command the unicorn to force it to obey.

Any woman can ride so long as she vows never to take a mortal lover again, and instead to serve Valarian the Dusk Stallion.

I have the feeling that soon people will be able to have entire debates entirely through the medium of smbc strips

it will probably raise the quality of conversation on Veeky Forums somewhat

>filename Blindsight.jpg

No one is allowed to ride unicorns

...Can I ride Pegasus or another winged horse instead?

The 'picky about riders' bit still applies, but there's at least mythological precedent for them taking riders. (Hello, Bellerophon.)

If you get a unicorn colt that's young enough, can you break it?

Chances are most of the people who will see this post are city folk and their minds will immediately go to pedobestiality.

So basically unicorns from urgum the axe man?