ITT bad DMs

Wow, he sounds like an asshole

>I want to add, that Charles considered himself to be a "Writer", a professional "Gambler", and several other jobs along these lines.
>So for the next 15 minutes, he explains how my character is getting brutally raped to death by a MASSIVE, BARBED, Dragon cock. I'll leave out any other details, but will say that it got worse.
>He isn't even halfway done with his description when I get the jist of it, and begin putting together another character.
>This shit goes on for another two months before I'm eventually kicked out for being "Disruptive to the group".
I thankfully don't see the fu let too often, and the group eventually disbanded this past summer (last I'd heard, they had been doing runequest with humanoid duck races).

And that's kids, is why I'm a forever DM. So this shit doesn't happen with my players.

You know, if everyone is against you, you might just be "that guy".

I've got several other stories on top of this from eight months of gaming. All of which is him driving off new players, and generally being a douchy "That Guy" of apocalyptic levels.

That guy or not, having your character brutally raped to death by a dragon is an asshole thing to do

Trust me, I actually wasn't. The most that guy thing I ever did, was try to get our group to avoid the Dm's railroad (this was at a time when I didn't know about that guys, railroads and all that).

Why wouldn't you talk to the party? The GM is allowed to have only as much control as the playdrs give him, you know.

I should also mention, there was no save either (against the rape, or to escape the dragons grasp). Charles refused to give me one when I said "can I roll to escape"

Should have just told the group "Hey GM asked me to make a new character and I agreed. If he wants I can keep my old dude or make a new guy who can be more useful to the group as a whole." Even if the GM refuses to let you make a new character it means they won't be angry at you because you just did what the GM wanted and it allows for discussion about the functioning of the group as a whole.

wtf did you do to piss the DM off?

I tried, but the all but one guy (who got out early before all of this) didn't seem to care so long as nothing happened to their characters.

My characters were also usually the tanks, so they saw it as the DM keeping the other more fleshy characters from harm until need be.

...

you could have just told the other players the DM is a fucking retard.

Shit I am assuming it was 1st Ed Dark Heresy so it is pretty fucking easy to write around Tech Priests, hell I find it harder to have to write around there NOT being a Tech Priest since you have to have NPC helper monkey that can dig deep in to any data they find.

Best one I ever saw was a player who got around his shit tier BS by buying a hand flamer.

in some situations it's called for.

For instance, that guy who first thing out of his mouth every time we meet someone new is "I roll to seduce"

Why didn't you just point out to the other players that the DM gave you a bullshit ultimatum and they should yell at him instead?

In his example it was only Charles that had it out for him. No one else was even mentioned.

Story Tiem?

All things considered, nothing. Before he showed up, I was one of the two most experienced tabletop players outside of the original dm. At the time I invited him, we were doing a campaign set in the world of "Legend of the Five Rings". We had all been told not to play Gajin, but Charles decides "Fuck that" and played one anyways.

Fucker ended up taking a suit of (Japanese equivalent for fullplate) that was meant for my character (I was the only one who could wear it, and his character had no idea what it was). I went three levels without getting any upgrades that campaign because this character constantly took it and said "you're a tank, your Hit points mean you don't need it!"

>Spend first session talking to GM's mary sue
>No action, no investigation, no world building. Just a room and a character.
>Spend second session with 10 minutes of action, and the rest of the time is spent having the GM's mary sue interact with the GM's other mary sue
>Maybe have 2 other encounters after a month of weekly sessions, with nothing but mary sues and bullshit to fill the gaps
>GM continuously bombards the party with a thousand pointless characters who we never fucking see again
>He can't cause conflict for shit, so every mary sue leaves with nothing fucking happening, no matter how aggressive we are
>The encounters that do happen are either hilariously overpowered or underpowered, to the point where it's always either a party wipe or a 0 dmg fight
>And by party wipe, I mean we get beaten down, then a mary sue comes to save us because the GM doesn't have the balls to kill a PC

>at some point, talk to a mutual friend who was in one of his previous campaigns
>"it was all just his characters interacting with each other, and I kind of felt like I was along for the ride"

3 months in, ready to fucking die. Another player and I are going to force some PvP to break up the bullshit. If this thread is still up on Monday, I'll post results.

He probably wants to one up you, or that he wants to think that he i the alpha nerd

He said
> I get blamed for it,
Meaning the players didn't like what he did, not what this guy did
And apparently no one else seemed to come to his defense any of these times, or at least he didn't mention anyone else being upset by the GM.

Ask away man, I'll give you a choice of Legend of the Five Rings, The Dragon rape, or Runequest (thankfully at that point it was still without ducks).

Lets start at the beginning

Well why should my fellow players have cared when they're getting all the good loot, and not constantly coming near death? Especially when they're new and think this shit is your average dnd bullshit.

Almost forgot

>Trying to leave the mary sue room leads to your character getting an off-handed comment maybe every 30 minutes, and no amount of investigation, interaction, or aggression can make anything happen.

I really didn't want to completely toss the party into drama. I figured the best solution, and most likely the most wrong one, I'd just remove myself from the group. Maybe I was being That Guy to the DM and all. It didn't help I was already in a sour mood having to remake a brand new character after about nine sessions, and really didn't care to stir the pot.

Yep. DH 1st ed. He was really bad at making non-killy stuff, and it basically consisted of tech use, tech use, tech ue, occasional forbidden lore, tech use.

>can't enjoy a silly campaign
pull the stick out of your ass. Also what did you mean by table fee? Did you actually pay to play tabletop?

Because if they liked you wouldn't they speak on your behalf if they saw the guy being an asshole? You don't have to spend much time playing DnD to know when someone's being a dick.

Fuck that man, just gather up all the players and leave. I can guarantee nobody else is having fun with that shit. Why have you not left sooner?

Even if none of you have GMed before in your lives, any of you reading through the rulebook once and running a premade adventure would put you miles ahead of him.

I feel I should post this even though I was the bad DM

>Only War game
>Players are a tank crew on a dusty shit hole planet(Think space Iraq)
>Last session they broke the back of a Ork warband but got kind of fucked up in the process. They end the session back at camp getting ready to chase down the last few orks
>The next session two players can't make it
>decide to run a mini session for the three that we have
>We have a Guard medic who's main character trait is that he fucks his comrade. Who is a 16 year old, at least he did until the kid died in the Ork attack.
>We also have a autistic Engineseer and a Shock Trooper who is stuck up his own ass.
>I have have the local Quartermaster approach them and ask them for a favour
>They have to follow a Staff Sergeant that he think has been abducting, raping and murdering local boys.
>All they need to do is follow him and get pictures
>Instead they use another comrade they have as bait
>They fuck up and end up letting the kid get roofied and taken away
>One thing leads to another and they end up murdering everyone
>The comrade butthole remains intact
>The Engine-Seer gets shot in the face

Man, I had no plans for that session but I ended up feeling like it went to a really fucked up place. I really started to wonder if I was becoming That DM

>tfw such a shit GM that I've caused someone to swear off ttrpgs for life
>tfw moved to a new city and my new group of friends is interested in playing tabletop but it's clear it's not going to step up and GM

I did play a few silly games yeah, but shit was getting weird in this one. And I play at a comic book shop that charges $5 to play for the night, I don't mind paying it because I know the owner and they need the money.

*not going to happen unless I step up

Alright! It all started when I was me being born.... kidding of course, it's kinda late, and I needed a joke. These memories are depressing and actually pissing me off.

We started off doing a PF campaign set in the world of "The Legends of the Five Rings". I rolled up a fighter who's back story was that he came from a clan of minor monster slayers (the DM decided to add in a bit that they were almost all killed off just weeks before the campaign starts) called "The wolf clan" (it became the but of the joke whenever we killed large groups of enemies that they were "Wolf Clanned").
The three other players we started with were a Naga fighter (don't ask how, dm allowed it) a kitsune Sorcerer, and a Phoenix clan cleric.
We had met up on the road headed to the capital, as all heads and high ranking clan members were being called by the Emperor himself.
Fast forward a few sessions and we're being blamed for the Emperor's death, and are being sent on the road to kill the dragon that killed him.
The after a few more sessions, two new players come into play, the dm's younger brother, and a session afterwards... Charles...
After having slayed some monsters in a cave, and rescuing a few merchants, our dm decides a storm happens, and we need to take shelter.
We tell him we'll be fine, but he pulls out a railroad, and says "No, the storm is so bad that you start taking damage from the cold".
Not wanting to be a dick and ruin the Dm's plans, we follow on the railroad to an "Out of the way Inn" in the middle of the woods.

More in next post.

The GM is a personal friend of ours who's been super hype to run a game after our last campaign ended. None of us, in our wildest dreams, could have imagined it'd be this bad. We do campaigns by-semester, and we've already slated the GM for Spring. It's not him.

Sadly, all the other person layers were brand new and expected things to be like this for table top gaming. It wasn't until later that they realized "We fucked up, didn't we?"

>MANY YEARS AGO
>Main group taking a break due to one players house burning down
>Get invited to 3.5 Forgotten Realms game by a friend since I wasn't in playing anything else
>Apartment is unkempt and smells of vanilla cigarettes
>DM is a teenage fat neckbeard, nothing strange yet
>The source of the vanilla cigarette smell is one of the player's mother
>She is playing WoW and chain smoking in the same room we are having the game
>The mother is friendly, though interrupts quite a bit during character creation and the game
>Ask the DM what sort of character I should make
>The response from him is "Don't make anything broken"
>Other three players are too busy talking about anime to respond
>Friend doesn't know what they're playing either
>Ask DM what sort of game he has in mind
>He says it's Forgotten Realms with a twist and post apocalypse
>Internal worrying but shrug
>Make a gnome fighter with a side of gnome hooked hammer
>DM wrangles weebs to the table
> Weebs had suitably weeby characters that where all evil loners to boot
>First line out of the DM's mouth is
"You're in a bar in the Forgtten Realms and the world around you shudders. As your eyes clear, you are in a dungeon with the party."
>Turns out Post Apoclyptic Forgotten Realms is codeword for bullshit murder dungeon
>Party wanders through the dungeon killing goblins and activating traps face first
>One weeb made a rogue that is an assassin that doesn't bother with traps
>Since I made a fighter that means I activate the traps since I have the most ac and hp
>Bless my friend who made a druid and heavy rocks for setting off traps

Use your past mistakes to improve as a GM. You're clearly self-aware enough to know what you did poorly. Nobody starts off with a great campaign; read some shit and grow.

You could just leave the game.

Why people continually stick to bad games despite having every chance to leave is beyond me.

So we go into the inn,and very quickly it turns into a "Haunted house" scenario. Fast forward session of misery to when Charles shows up.
He decided to roll his character on his own, and came up with a Gajin (which I had told him "Not to do"). But after arguing with the dm, it is let go,and he plays it.
Fast forward another session, and we manage to escape, although my character love interest had died along the way, so deciding to spice things by roleplaying, I take her body out to the woods to preform the burial rites.
Meanwhile, everyone else decided to loot the chest behind the haunted tree that started this all.
30 minutes later, and I'm the only without an upgrade of any kind because Charles stole the full plate that was meant for me, and refused to hand it over, citing "well he takes what he wants, and he's getting its going to be pretty valuable when he sells it".
Fast forward to later on, and this douchebag haa purposely backstabbed, betrayed, and stolen from us a grand total of....... 15 other times! (Two massive betrayals to the bbeg that we never found out about it, 9 magic items/items he could use are gone, including a sentient ghost sword, several scrolls for the sorcerer, three exceedingly rare healing potions, and other things.)
He had also min/maxed his dip and deception to he could get away wth anything, including making the characters ic hate mine (made up lies that we had to go along with because of skill checks, shocing some stolen gear unto my character and more)

more to come

>I am not that kind of rogue

fuck em, I say. I'm playing one right now and I'm not that kind of rogue but I still fucking do it.

...

I will post the rest as soon as Veeky Forums stops reading it as spam.

Charles also accused me of min maxing constantly. At the time I'd never heard of that before so laughed it off, which caused the dm to get curious and demand to see my char sheet. Five minutes later and a lot of talking and I was deemed partially innocent.
He even went so far as to accuse me of having broken dice, siting his days as a "professional Gambler" for knowing that mine were tampered with. forcing me to have to buy more dice (12$ down the drain due to that asshole).
This went on until he had gotten bored and decided to play.... a Gajin paladin with a sidekick that could roll well in all the things his paladin couldn't! Character was a total Mary Sue, and tried to constantly have my character arrested for things (one time we tried to capture bandits, and I forgot to say "I attack with non-lethal damage" so one bandit died). Me and my character felt like shit, but for an entire session his new female paladin was attempting to convince people to have me arrested for murder and theft. Thankfully I was deemed innocent of the charges, but for the rest of the session, he was in a bad mood.

Fast forward another six sessions, and his character had lost an arm, and her sidekick was half dead.

Guess who he rolls up next?

Finished guessing? It was a chaotic evil tiefling sorcerer.

This Mary sue's career involved: selling an NPC ally into slavery, using charm person to try to get me to sell this NPC into slavery before hand. Using her knowledge of the local languages to turn everything we said to the tribals into insults. Started an inter tribal war against our party, got my character killed brutally (he was chopped apart, and the tribes spread his guts across the valley). Sold the aame NPC into slavery AFTER we saved her to another group, cut the rope of a pc whole we traversed a mountain, and then finally, when we reached the monk monastery I mentioned earlier, caused the campaign to be ended because he stole from the monks, and when my character demanded she return them or die, the dm got pissy, blamed me for everything, and ended the campaign.

And that's the jist of how our 35 year old neckbeard ruined the dnd alignment system for me.

>Stealing from other players

See shit like this makes me wonder about the DM. If I was running a game and a player started stealing shit from the other players I would first take them aside and warn them to cut that shit out. If they don't then they are out the fucking door.

I don't care if it is "In Character" you are still being a selfish prick

>already paid $5 table fee, fuck it

Exactly, and thankfully the dm did chime in on that, but a 35 year old neck beard vs a 19.5 year old dm at a gaming store gets trumped.

>Paying $5 for a gay rape fetishist to fantasize about you

/pol/ here. I'm out.

fuck man, if even half of what you claimed happened then the shit is kind of on you as well for not calling him out. I am assuming you where younger but still.

I fucking hate people who go out of there way to try and fuck over the other members of the group. If the inter-party conflict goes anything beyond harsh words then both players need to just make new chars that can get along better. Not to mention fucking over the campaign is just a fucking dick move.

The only time I saw that actually be slightly funny was when one player killed a DnD game within the first hour of the first session.

Any group needs transparency about decisions that impact the group.

If the GM wants to run a straight shooting gallery, and given how the rest like straight shooty shit too, it is what the game shall be.

Gold solution to me seems to tell you to respec the techpriest into more guns from the skillmonkey, thus keeping the bonded character but fitting him better into the plan.

Rerolling would be workable too, but you really should've told the party that it was GM's decision in order to prevent souring your relationship with them.

This happened at a convention. The GM was running Tomb of Horrors Pathfinder, but using a 4e module.

I didn't know much about 4e, so I believed him when he said that he would handle conversions on the fly. We were 10th level

First of all
>Campaign was highly riddle based
>The riddles were all in Elven
>He would only allow the one player who took Elven to see the riddles
>These riddles were about half a page each
>She had to repeat them over and over again
>It was only by chance that anyone spoke Elven because we weren't told anything about Elves or about this house rule

>Did I mention that the guy was extremely condescending
>Some of the riddles made absolutely no sense
>Others were ambiguous and needed to be tested
>He would act like I was the biggest dumbass in the world because I didn't get the answer immediately
>Even when no one else got the answer either
>Possibly because I was the only other male and there were three females

>I'm pretty sure he couldn't read too well either
>He needed help pronouncing more than a few words and clearly didn't know what they meant

Oh, and remember what I said about it being a 4e module that he would convert?
>We take on a golem
>I cast shifting sands, Reflex DC 20
>He smugly tells me that it has a Reflex save of 24 so he doesn't have to roll
>I tell him that I find that improbable. Assuming 12 HD (a generous assumption) a golem should have a base Reflex save of +4
>Assuming it has a DEX of 15 (another generous assumption), it should have a total Reflex save of +6
>Definitely not 24
>"I'm pretty sure even Cthulhu doesn't have Reflex saves that high"
>Pull out my phone and look up Cthulhu on PFsrd, his Reflex is +29
>"OK, I'll halve her saves"
>Still two times higher than the very generous estimate I'd made, but OK

cont'd

I'm a human not a spambot damn it! Also the picture is the rest of the story.

I constantly did call him out on his shit, but as I said, I was the second most experienced table top player in he group at the time, so the others weren't sure what to belive or do, so they never helped either side.

At the time I was also the same age as the dm, so 19.5

Another issue with the 4e conversion
>The module tells him that we fight some trademarked WotC monster
>He asks me to look it up
>It doesn't show up and I tell him that I think it's trademarked
>But Paizo does have this very similar creature
>I tell him that this monster will probably work fine
>He, of course, acts like I'm a total fucking retard and wants me to keep looking
>I straight up refuse and the rest of the party agrees that it's probably not in there

He also had an obsession with his fumble deck
>He would even use it for skill checks
>All the fumble results were clearly based on combat
>Someone fumbled a disable device check and he used the deck
>He asked whether he should use piercing, bludgeoning, slashing, or magic
>"I really don't think those are meant for skills. You don't automatically fail skill checks on a 1"
>"And those categories don't make sense for lock picking, but I guess piercing makes the most sense"
>The result said that she would take a penalty to AC for one round

Oh, and the big climactic fight
>My character was a druid/monk with a very high touch AC
>And a Ring of Freedom of Movement
>The final boss is a bunch of vines
>It hits me in the surprise round, no roll needed
>I allow that my flat-footed AC is only moderately high, about 20, and don't bother arguing
>It uses it's grab ability
>I point out that my character has the Ring of FoM
>He tells me that it succeeds anyway because it's the boss monster
>He tells me to make a Fort save
>I get 26
>"You failed. Take 3d6 CON damage"

At this point I FINALLY give up on being a good player, only respond "OK" and start packing my bags
>He finally realizes that he's fucking up, notices that the other players aren't impressed either
>His DMPC rides in and casts Meteor Storm and wins the game for us

>>He finally realizes that he's fucking up, notices that the other players aren't impressed either
Well, I'm glad that at least finally he
>>His DMPC rides in and casts Meteor Storm and wins the game for us
Oh dear.

To be fair, it was probably the only way to get out of an incredibly awkward situation where the entire group just left in the middle of the fight at 2 AM

I was talking with a GM who kept bragging about how sadistic he was to his players. He shared this "gem":

>"You see an old wooden door in front of you"
>"I open the door"
>"How do you open the door?"
>"Uh, I grab the handle and turn it."
>"The door doesn't budge."
>"Aha, I have lockpicking. I roll to pick the lock."
>"Okay, you do that. Now what?"
>"I turn the knob and open the door."
>"Doesn't budge."
>"Damn, must be magical. Wizard can use Detect Magic on this door?"
>"You detect no magical influence on the door. Have you tried looking at the handle?"
>"Uh, fuckin alright, what's the handle look like?"
>"It's bolted to the door, and has a latch that you push down to open it."
>"Oh god damnit. I grab the handle, push the latch, open the door."
>"Doesn't budge. You locked it, remember?"
>"Fuck. Lockpick on the door, grab the handle, push the latch, open the door. What do I see?"
>"You see a room. There's a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a fireplace on the far wall."
>"I walk over to the fireplace."
>"No you don't. You fall ten feet into a pit of spikes, roll for damage."
>"What the fuck! I can sense traps!"
>"That was no trap. I never said the room had a floor."

He started giggling like a goddamned madman.

Just

There's a special place in hell for people like this.

That's...That's not even being sadistic that's just being bad at describing things.

He sounds like one of those faggots who tells a riddle with one of those stupid answers that make no sense unless you're literally trying to be as stupid with your wording as possible.

Can you tell him that I hate him, please.

Hey, fuck you mate, Gloranthan ducks are cool.

I mean, your GM still was a dick, but don't you shit on ducks.

Well to be fair that would be a good way to quickly teach the players that they need to be specific with you, even if the implementation is beyond retarded.

No, that's a good way to never have a game that lasts longer than players' patience for bullshit.

If I'm in a dungeon crawl then it's one thing when the GM asks me which hand I use to open a door. That kind of question is fine. Simply not stating things that would be obvious to the character and are very much out of the ordinary is a completely different thing, and entirely terrible.

Yeah exactly. A Game Master's job is to facilitate telling a good story. He builds the world and gives the players as much information as they need to have fun and adventure in it. If your players are constantly fishing for more information it means you aren't giving them enough information to feel invested in the world, and if you purposefully withhold such basic fucking details like that DM did, then you are actively breaking the player immersion and dismantling the adventure just for your own shits and giggles. It's basically DM Powergaming.

Encouraging them to be curious and ask questions is one thing. It makes both the players and the DM think critically about the world and how it functions, and encourages everyone to find creative solutions to problem. But if they can't be sure that when they walk in a room a fucking floor will be there to catch them, then they have little reason to believe in anything about your world at all.

>he pays for games

Well I mean you do it as a warmup round, not as the actual game. I've just seen players who don't describe what they want to know for shit and then expect the GM to tell them everything of note without them actually engaging at all and then interpret their actions like a mind reader. You shouldn't have to always be that specific, but the players have to be mindful and not just sit there unthinking.

I agree that part was the retarded bit, but I mean the idea of hammering that they have to think a bit home is a decent one.

See, I wouldn't tell them to stop, but I would tell them they have to be prepared to accept the consequences and not take it personally when the other PCs discover the theft and turn them inside out via their anus.

A lot of those stories also mention dickasser to have maxed out sneakery with nobody else managing to roll high enough to catch them.

OOC intervention is the only way.

Not really, just let the players work with the DM to setup traps/other surprises for their guest that can't be meta gamed against. Unless they are completely retardedly broken you should catch em en game fair and square (and if they are retardedly broken you only have your DM to blame)

>has yet to run session 0
>for 5 weeks
Oh god please help me.

How can I help?

I cant get myself to run that session
i need motivation

NEVER GIVE UP.
Follow your dreams.

Don't believe in yourself, believe in me who believes in yourself!
Do the invisible, see the impossible, row row fight the powah!

how and why do you still have players?

Someone screencap those posts please.

Can't do it yourself?

>Mfw this story

I fucking hate people like that

You need to learn some reading comprehension
>pay for the table
>for the table
He wanted a place to sit for an evening with his mates and in a game shop it's also good enough.

Yeah this made perfect sense to me. The only way you're ever getting free tables at an LGS is if you're advertising their products by letting people join in at any time, which nobody in their right mind would allow when running a campaign

>lockpicking an unlocked door locks it
Im not even going to go into the rest of that shit