What's the straight-up worst thing someone in your party has ever done?

>My wizard's turn to keep watch at night.
>no 2nd level slots left so no alarm spell
>DM: "Roll a will save"
>I roll a fucking 1
>DM: "Shit really? Ok, you suddenly feel compelled to murder your friends. I'm not gonna take direct control but at least try to make it believable.
>Me: "Ok, maximized fireball into franks yurt."
>entire group give me this "wtf man?" look
>erryone in there eats 78 damage
>2 are dead immediately just from damage
>1 unconscious and bleeds to death
>our tank flubs his save against massive damage. Dies
>DM: "Jesus, really? So much for that encounter. Ok, I got some ideas. we'll pick this up next week. Don't throw your sheets away just yet."
>DM puts the rest of the party on some questline to come back to life. tl;dr version it wasn't their time yet and they had to pass some trials.
>I end up going on this ridiculous diamond hunt within the plane of earth to get enough shit to bring them back. After a rather angry bard contacts me in my dreams.

>murdering another PC without giving him a warning beating or any indication that you're going to kill him for stealing

No, user, you are the sperg.

Big assumption on your part that the thief just got his first ass kicking from the party.

What about the part of group beating did you not get.

Being beaten when caught isn't part of roleplaying his character? Get good nerd, pro thiefs steal from the party without being caught.

Why did you have to make a Will save just to not kill yo buds?

Dominate Person. I actually had a pretty good chance of passing it but the nat 1 kinda fucked me.

Not accodring to Machiavelli

I've never understood this mindset that the game world is a video game and players can't create new characters while their current ones are still alive.

She understood perfectly fine but she didn't like the character so she had him charge a convoy before he rest of us to kill him off

>Party medic with no skills in explosives or mechanics
>Manages to MacGyver remote detonated bomb from mining explosives and radio
>Sets trap for security guards who are chasing party
>Trap is set on outer shell of large civilian space station
>Explosion kills guards and is complete success and player only loses 50% of his health for miscalculating strenght of his cover
>Explosion also rips open 4/6 levels of station to space, spacing dozens of people
>Player is OK as only pesky organics need silly things like atmosphere

And they wonder why space police was after them

It was the second beating for stealing. And suspiciously everyone had been drugged and was missing a bunch of items, sans the rouge, last session.

Needless to say, we found our stuff.

I guess not. I was more salty over the fact out of character he'd gloat about him stealing from us and how we'd never catch him, even though we had already him one prior morale beating.

and not accodring to Napoleon
"A man does not have himself killed for a half pence a day or for a petty distinction. You must speak to the soul in order to electrify him."
-Napoleon Bonaparte

>How did a group of fully armed mercenaries even got close to the Emperor?

I figure the GM didn't quite understand how things work, and the players would have felt small and insignificant if their contact was an emissary or a commander instead of the emperor himself.

>Party is infiltrating an Evilcorp presentation on their product
>We decide to hypnotize the spokesperson to say our words, who's some innocent actor
>Everything goes balls up and we have to bolt
>Our psyker ends up driving a security guard insane and he goes on a shooting spree
>See later on the news that he killed 15 people and commited suicide
>That actor is now a vegetable repeating the same pre-programmed words over and over until he dies

So, the key item the party needed to collect was inside an ice sculpture carved by a skilled sculptor/paladin. That thing was his life's work. So they sneaked in at night & broke it to get the item (under the advice of a literal Fiend). This was an expected occurence. It was either they steal it or they garner enough rep with the paladin town to get to request the item. Anyhow, the paladin awakens in the middle of the night to find his statue crumbled. In a fit of rage & despsir, he attacks the probable offenders (the party that mysteriously showed up in town recently). Sure, the paladin chose his target correctly, but he could have just as easily attacked an innocent person - he did nothing to investigate the crime. The paladin falls.

Now, this much is what I expected could happen... It gets worse.

The party felt really bad about the paladin & wanted try to talk him out of fighting (which would still leave him fallen and alienated by his fellow paladin). The party proceeds to get an insane number of absolutely horrible persuation rolls. They just serve to make the paladin angrier. So the warlock tries to hold the guy down, which allows his Fiendish ally to speak with & strike a deal with the fallen paladin. So now, the paladin is glowing with a building dark energy. They keep trying to talk him out of it... and still get horrible rolls. They end up putting a magic necklace of unknown properties on him & locking him in a room. They go for help. Maybe the other paladins can help "talk" down this demonically possessed fallen paladin... They send the troops to do what the party should have done countless persuation rolls ago. The lead paladin enters the locked room alone to face the fallen, the party too scared to join him. After a moment, they hear a scream and find only the remains of the lead paladin inside.

(1/2)

Both men were theorists who ultimately failed, I wouldn't trust their words over actual knowledge of a system that worked great for centuries and ended for outside reasons.

Sounds like a Win in my books.

How the fuck does that even work? Hypnosis usually works under the condition "puppet/puppeteer", doesn't it?

So, the fallen paladin teleported away & proceeded to commandeer the two magic bean pyramids the party cleric planted on top of each other. Using that demon magic, he engineered them into a massive flying fortress shaped like a d8. He also zombified pretty much the whole island this was taking place on. The party teleported away to regroup. This all could have been avoided if they would just try to kill (or even just knock out) the guy attacking them. They brought about a terror as dangerous as the BBEG.

Oh, and as a little bonus, this is why they were locked into the "steal magic item from the statue" plan:
In an effort to unity to mutually disgruntled villages (town that is 70% paladins & layabout / harlot town), the cleric tries a romeo and juliet thing, paying a prostitute to meet at a tree between the villages & trying to charm a non-paladin from the paladin town. Well, the charm failed & the citizen called for help after the attempted mind control. There were witnesses & the cleric was caught (the party already knew this was a very strict village, they just didn't think charm was dubious). Rather than getting a magic brand of "your magic is sealed in our town walls," the cleric ate a magic fruit to shrink and fled to the dwarven druid's mess of a beard. Lead paladin cut the thing off... throwing the druid into unbelievable grief. The cleric did manage to escape, but the party wasn't really going to be allowed back in now.

The Byzantines had a more mercenary nature (while the Varangians were trusted to keep their word), at least, that was the feeling in the court of the Emperor.

>player only loses 50% of his health
So, a paraplegic? Remember, guys, don't take LARPing too seriously

So, did you end up dying?

He has to learn.
Explosives are not toys.

Price could have been much higher.

Yes, they psyket was the puppeteer, but the security guard flashbanged us while we were doing it. It ended up gettting translated on the actors end to a mindwipe.

I never get this type and their double standard. It makes for good character interaction to get caught, my story isn't that exciting but it was one of my earlier attempts at roleplaying so I still like to tell it.

>Roll up typical dickass thief
>Character flaw is kleptomania, because dickass ya know
>basically I have a compulsion to steal objects every so often, and roll to resist the temptation
>For the most part during early parts of the game we are in civilization so I'm just collecting an ever growing bag of knicknacks from a random table of junk
>This goes on for some time till one day the party's questing takes them into the wilderness
>Fine for a while, then fail a klepto roll, pass note to DM saying that he should basically take a few coins here and there, or something not to important to disappear whenever I do this
>One day in the third week of wilderness travel occasionally interrupted by bear/bandit/whatever attacks, keep failing klepto rolls but whatever it doesn't do anything, right?
>Next session, the female berserker crashes into my tent, demanding to know where "it" is, rolling intimidation rolls and trashing the place
>Have no idea what she's talking about at first, then check my sheet, there's one "heirloom amulet" listed under my misc belongings
>My thief not being the brightest or the bravest guy grabs bag-o-lootin and skedaddles the fuck out of there with the berseker in hot pursuit

1/2

Napoleon more or less steamrolled the combined might of Europe, twice.
He was a theorist, and also an avid practical applier of theory, to extremely high degrees of success.

>Run over hill and over dale and over yadda yadda yadda, end up at the very edge of a river gorge, and not the small kind you'd want to jump over
>Berserker saying that if I just give it back she'll only beat me to within an inch of my life
>Make the second mistake of the session, decide that if I toss the bag to the other side of the gorge I can escape while she tries to cross to retrieve it and when she calms down later try to make up with her
>Roll to throw the bag aaaannnd
>total miss, it's not even close
>Bag-o-loot goes sailing into the abyss
>Fuck
>Berserker get's fucking pissed, and crying at the same time, which seems out of character but I don't have time to think about that because...
>a second later she kicks me square in the chest and sends me tumbling into the river where as the GM put it "Your skull breaks open like an egg upon the jagged rocks that line bottom of the gorge, the turbulent river whisks your lifeless body out of sight, never to be seen again by mortal soul. A petty death for a petty thief"

Anyways turns out that the amulet I somehow stole was actually some sort of signet amulet that her father gave her just before he was killed in a successful coup by her uncle, and was basically the only way she could ever hope to prove her legitimacy and challenge her uncle's right to rule. I kind of felt like a total dickass when I learned that, but in the end it all kind of worked out, my next character was a full on justicefag paladin who eventually helped berserker girl take down her uncle and take back her throne to usher in a golden age of peace and prosperity. So good end I guess?

2/2

His theories regarding military conquest and victory on the battlefield tended to be successful, aside from that time he invaded Russia in the winter.
His theories on building a long-lasting empire, which are the ones being discussed here, did not actually meet with much success at all.

But relevantly; Did he fail to build an empire because his men and armed forces were disloyal?
After all, we are discussing loyalty to an emperor here.

Out sniper went on a massive killing spree through a public square while he was trying to hit the target. He ended up hitting a truck driver, who went full Nice and barreled through the crowd and smashed through an office building. 127 dead

>Not immediately trying to kill the Barbarian
>Not trying to stop the barbarian
>Not having any heal spells for the royal family

And most egregiously
>The royal guard let heavily armed mercenaries near the royal family

>Allowed a war between two supernations to happen because "war is good for science and its better it happens now rather than later when our guns are better"
>Sold out humanity to evil AI overlords because "he made a good argument"
>destroyed a well-meaning church that focused it efforts on altruism and keeping peace through diplomatic efforts
>Agreed to getting puppet implants and relinquishing their free will

In other news, my campaign finished and my players will go with the flow as long as you speak with an authoritative voice.

...

I mean, uf we had broken we all would have died

Also her description of her raping the girl was incredibly hot

but alarm is a ritual

>Also her description of her raping the girl was incredibly hot

And most of that was NOT because of Napoleon but because he was willing to delegate to Generals.

Napoleon wanted to attack Russia in the dead of winter while he still hadn't pinned down Prussia or Britain.

And look how that turned out.

Sold her soul to avoid death, massacred a guild of adventurers (though she didn't realize it and just thought they were mercenaries), murdered several guardsmen just following orders in the street, mind-controlled the NPC tagalong fighter to keep him on her side as she plotted treason, melted his face off when he shook it off via pure willpower, and finally saddled her horse from the right side instead of the left.

not in 3rd edition.

>Play Barbarian former Slave turned revolutionary
>That guy makes a Slave Trader as a character
>Cries when as soon He tries to enslave people, my Barbarian tackles him into the dirt and chops off his hand ( a Sign of an escaped slave )

I really wonder what goes on in peoples heads.

Not good friends, obviously.

Didn't they loot the palace multiple times?

>The point

>Anons head

The Varangian Guard were trusted because they were foreigners with no connection to the region. They were purposefully isolated outsiders whose livelihood depended completely on the Emperor. Even if someone did try to scheme with them to let's say, depose the Emperor, they would be fucked because no one could trust them or their institution ever again, and would easily be disposed of. There was no benefit to them and everything to lose if harm befell the Emperor. This is the only reason they were trusted.

Had a player character basically go around and politically strong arm a bunch of NPCs into signing away their entire livelihoods

Basically he went around framing people for various crimes or entrapping them in compromising circumstances. He would then force the NPCs into giving over everything they owned, deeds to homes, land, businesses, etc.

Honestly it was pretty well done so I didn't stop him. But I did have a bunch of pissed off relatives come after his character.

>MFW I have to play out an innocent and otherwise insignificant shopkeeper getting his business taken from him.

I want this to be true.

First, introductory game with new players. Absolutely basic shit, doing small errand for local monastery.
Party came back, the monks greeted them, proceed to pay and party mage suddenly declares it's not enough. It really was small amount of money, but come on! He kept on pushing, the monks predictably got less and less patient, since they literally didn't have more. The player completely lost touch with reason and logic, so he attacked them.
Rest of the party, since for most of them it was their first time playing ever, of course sided with the player. The monks retreated, called alarm, and proceed to defend themselves.
We spent next TWO meetings getting through the monastery, with more and more people realising this shit is wrong on too many levels.
By the end of it, the monastery was set ablaze, the village next to it depopulated, players gained single wooden shield, and the party mage was so badly maimed they've put him out of misery.

And the GM gained a plot coupon, since the party was wanted, until finally clearing names after really long and really tiresome campaign, pulling suicidal mission.

The worst part was how this shit cost us the two most laid back players early on, because they just didn't want to play 100% combat game, nor had charactrers for that, created a rift in the party that didn't heal for next two years and when doing the suicide mission later, we went through loosing one of the players who got tired of this shit and then his replacement decided he doesn't want to play with us.

This is how you gain a reputation by having single, greedy moron in your party.

Mone's pretty mild. It was back in middle school, and one kid wasn't into it at all, so he bought a bunch of rich looking clothing, and ran through town daring people to steal from him. We found him outside our tavern, stripped and left lying facedown in the mud. So, that was probably the worst thing. I honestly haven't played enough to have any bad experiences.

>mone

My party kidnaped a princess, interrogated her, realized she wasn't evil, went into the other room, put on disguises, made fighting noises, came back in, and took her back to her father claiming to be her rescuers.

They sold Holographic exploding Alderon snow globes the day after the Death Star destroyed it.

Greedy players are absolutely the worst. It's like you are sitting with a Gordon Gecko, who tries to milk every last shekel and then some out of everyone and everything. In no time the party ends with so much shit, they literally have no reason to play with their characters anymore.

Speaking of which, fa/tg/uys and ca/tg/irls, here is the question: how the FUCK am I suppose to solve this shit. My current group loots everything. They literally strip bodies naked (selling clothes to paper-maker was so brilliant on their side I've allowed that out of sheer amazement), which cause the situation where they are hauling a lot of junk they then proceed to sale, even if as scrap and even at really low prices. Now I can't pretend nobody would bought that shit nor can't pretend enemies weren't carrying any gear. And they are pretty obsessive on taking all the shit they can, since they've literally pooled initial resources just to get a cart for transportation. Even at 10% of normal price and rarely having someone buying at all, they are still making mad amount of money.
Halp

That's actually some nice lateral thinking, assuming they've managed to be convincing with this.

This angered me, because the whole group was content to let a disruptive player destroy the game.

>>While this is happening, psycho chick is having her barbarian rape the Emperor's teenage daughter to death
At this point she is past being kicked out. I would have punched her in the nose.

user, this is pretty normal. I mean - party allowing disruptive behaviour. Those people usually know each other pretty well before even playing or quickly bond together as a group. Add group thinking and it's a recipe for disaster.

Just for the sake of slowing the process down, I'm playing with two groups mixed together all the time - picking people who would like to try RPG and the actual core group. Since they constantly have do deal with completely different people and different characters, they might be more bonded as a group, but completely avoid group thinking.
I'm scared of the day when I will run out of people to be the 3rd wheel.

Hilarious

Hm. Probably the time one character went bully-mad and after defeating a group of nasty gnolls, made them beg for their lives as one was bleeding out, and in order to be saved, forced one to vomit in front of the others, rubbed her face in it, and then saved them all by dumping them off almost dead with another PC with healing. The healer saved their lives, made them repay it with a debt of service for her back alley hospital, and now they're all out of the crime life and entering medical, with one becoming a full doctor.

Kinda funny how the sadism worked out. That same gnoll ended up saving the life of the character's daughter, and all it took was a single split second decision to just be a nasty motherfuck instead of murdering them then and there.

Just the last game, which turned into torture porn in no time and I've ended up calling for a coffee break just to slow things down.

Players were working as guards during a fair. Being players, they were more focused on racketeering and extortions. But things went really out of hand, when they've decided to make a deal with wine seller to get a keg for actual town guards as a bonus to hush money. The wine seller was always selling vinegar, which was planned as a plot hook, so when the players figured out the wine was off, they've made a pursuit after the wine seller, who gave them his last keg and was leaving the town already.
Then they've went "Hateful Eight" on his ass, forcing him and his helpers naked and sending them through the wilderness, while constantly beating them, denying water and... yeah. This went so out of hand I just had to break it.

None of the PCs wasn't evil. Nobody even played as moraly ambigious people. All them were goodie-two shoes and suddenly this shit.

Everyone is really stressed right now. Lotta people just want to act out fantasies of hatred and slaughter to get it out of their system.

>Chasing them naked through the bush while throwing a punch or two
>torture porn

user, torture porn doesn't even begin till you've strapped them down and started shoved bamboo shoots under nails, used a pear of anguish, rubbed sand, hot pepper dust, and itching oil in their eyes, poured acid in their nose, and stated crushing and extracting their teeth one by one with a pair of pliers and a rusty knife.

I never get these stories, how the fuck come that the gm doesn't go "No, fuck off will you." and handwaves it away?

I'll never believe a single "Killed da king durrr" story where the GM didn't like it/had something like that in mind.

Oh, so I'm suppose to describe in loving detail what they did exactly, step by step, so you can furiously masturbate to that?
Sorry, wrong board.

Give them endless ways for them to waste their wealth.

Or just give up and turn it into an adventure about rich junksalesmen who happen to also adventure on the side.

Actually did this because my fellow players wouldn't stop being fucking edgy about being evil aligned. Like every fucking time they are like "Lel why would an moralfag adventure" and "I'm so sick of moralfag characters!"

So I stole all my partys shit and said "Well I'm evil, fuck off, your shit is mine."

Kingslaying is pretty much a meme, but it's very common for players to go against local nobility, usually in most retarded way possible and usually in such way you just can't say "Well fuck that shit, all of you are out of the game" without people throwing a fit.

But yeah, kingslaying is just a meme. But if that's town's mayor, a baron from local castle or shit like that - the story most likely is true.

But moot closed my board ages ago and made it a shelter for loonux fags and desktop ricers.

Thing is, they are not trying to waste their money. It's like running a game for stereotypical greedy Jews, only those Jews will beat the living shit out of you.
So they get money, invest that in gear and get even more OP. At this point, bandits and such can literally forget about harming them and I won't shit out heroic knights fighting the party now.
And my players are aware of it, so they pretty much exploit my tact to keep things relatively realistic (it's not even a fantasy setting to begin with), while they run wild due to it.

I've taxed them once, taking most of their shit in the process. It didn't end well for anyone involved.

Why didn't any of you try to stop the barbarian?

You could always turn it on them as some sort of hilarious retard curse, where they can't meet a single figure of royalty or in some mayoral role without them dying, usually causing the entire region to destabilize and go to hell.

Like maybe the first kill places the curse, and soon they can't go ANYWHERE without bastards dying left and right, and even if they did nothing to raise a finger, it somehow traces back to them being responsible.

Not him, but have you ever actually met people who were roleplaying rich adventurers, or just bunch of people in dirty clothes using most basic provisions and such, while spending small hills of coins to get +8 swords?

Trick them, make a bernie madeoff type character and ponzi scheme the fuck out of em till they are poor as dirt farmers. Then send high level loan sharks after em. And I mean literal loan sharks, like dire-land-sharks on steroids that collect loans

Or find some asshole to sell them cursed armor

Or unleash a bunch of rust monsters on em

Or just find a way to deal with them in a proper game manner, like since they are flaunting around gear worth shittonnes of money word gets around and things happen.

But really, frankly I don't know how you can get out of the situation without GM bullshit since you're kindness got you in the mess in the first place.

>like dire-land-sharks on steroids that collect loans

suddenly, GASHUNK has more applications and ideas than I ever thought possible

Let's green-text it, since it didn't caugh up the first time
>it's not even a fantasy setting to begin with

But I had my laugh with dire loan sharks, I admit.
So far I'm planning to set them up against a merchant doing investments, since they like to invest their money for high return. But since they won't leave their investment without protection, the merchant just running away is not an option. Pirates meanwhile might be an answer... if I throw like two ships of them.

user, I don't know what game you are playing, but are you sure you know how to run high-level stories? It sounds like this is the high-level type of deal, with everyone being both powerful and set up for life...

... which brings a question why they keep playing with those characters and won't just retire to start with something fresh.

Sorry mate, haven't slept in a day and a half and I missed that part.

More GMs need to learn how to say "no, that didn't happen" when a player does something just to be a shithead that's going to blow back on the whole party.

Some people just like to be OP af. But don't ask me where is the fun when there are no challenges left

>Implying any "he killed the king" story ever happend
How new are you?

Or just have the guts to say "We can do this and let the game end tonight, and then you're out of the group. Or you can not do this, and act like you give a shit and don't want to waste everyone's time being a tardshow."

Okay here it goes.

>Play as a Wizard in a low magic setting
>Finish clearing out the local cave
>Go to the tavern to celebrate
>Get drunk
>Crit-fail Endurance check
>Black out

When I woke up the next day half of the town were crying because they saw magic for the first time.

Use your head and powers as the GM. Try to make use of anything that could possibly end up in your favor.

Try to use rivers as a way for them to be forced to leave loot behind due to weight.
If one of them tries to do something dangerous and fails, kill the character (drowning while crossing a river, failing to climb a wall). That should lead them to reevaluate their stuff.
Throw them to encounter threats they cannot possibly overcome.
Set up guards that get more and more suspicious as they see them coming up repeatedly with more and more goods in the city.

I don't see why it wouldn't be. In my setting at least a lot of the kings are more or less replaceable figureheads often controlled by the court or other elites, and when they aren't, let's just say accidents have a funny way of happening. Someone leaves a door unlocked and a murderhobo PC happens to walk in, no one's fault mind you.

>Campaign begins with all PCs meeting in a cabin, forced in by a freak blizzard
>We begin the campaign as the last of the firewood burns
>GM expected us to begin talking by having us convince the cabin owner to let us burn his wooden furniture or something
>First fucking action anyone does: bard shoves cabin owner's daughter in the fireplace as fuel
>What? I'm CHAOTIC good!

>Try to use rivers as a way for them to be forced to leave loot behind due to weight.
They only stick to roads and check beforehead if there are bridges. Once there was none (I was hoping they will ditch their cart), so they've ended up hiring locals and cleaning the surroundings from bandits responsible for the burned bridge
>Throw them to encounter threats they cannot possibly overcome.
Impossible. I would have to literally throw a small army on them at this point.
>Set up guards that get more and more suspicious as they see them coming up repeatedly with more and more goods in the city.
They are on constant move

And most importantly - they are not dumb nor are their characters. I would have to pull something akin to "rock falls, everyone dies" to actually harm them.
Which isn't fun for anyone.

>Bunch of muderhobos enter, ARMED, the same room as a king, figure-head or not
>The king is not guarded by royal guard
Shit setting, mate

Napoleon did not invade Russia in Winter he invaded in summer. He started in mid june and captured (a burned out) moscow mid september.

Napoleon had allready defeated Prussia at this point, Prussia was a French ally during the invasion albeit forced.

Also Napoleon was a stickler for detail and much of his victories are because he did indeed delegate well but his most important plans (austerlitz for example) were purily his own.

Interestingly, their loyalty seems to have been to throne rather than the man. They didn't go out of their way to avenge a dead emperor, and instead would transfer their contract to the usurper.
Basically, if you could keep the Varangians out of the picture you could take the Emperor out and not worry about it. If they were present they would probably fight to the death protecting him.
Honestly, they make excellent fodder for fantastic fiction.

The royal guards aren't above a little bribery, and some even have anti monarchist sympathies.

We stole the wife of a man with face blindness by switching her nametag with his dog's name tag. Then we fucked his dog to prove it was his wife.

>Napoleon wanted to attack Russia in the dead of winter
So you've basically just told you know jack-shit about history?
Napoleon assembed his forces in SPRING. He marched for entire summer, took huge swats of burned to the ground land and pretty much mopped the floor with Russians.
Up until NOVEMBER, half year later, he was winning. Then winter beat the living shit out of him, because unlike Russians, he had to haul his supplies all the fucking way from Prussia and Warsaw Duchy.

His real mistake was taking Moscow, rather than marching for Petersburg. If he would capture the city, he would fucking won, literally taking everything from Russians and living them with empty steppes at this point.
Instead he stubbornly refuse to acknowledge Petersburg is the real target, not some imaginary "historical heart of Russia" he insisted on Moscow.

And your idea is still pure and unfiltered shit.

Players casually killing rulers is just awful GMing.