Best Familiar

Reminder that bees are a superior choice for superior people, and that if you can't convince them to join you, then you are likely a heathen and a brute not worthy of their presence.

Crow bro

Damascene goat is best goat.

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Yo how in the hell is that real?

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Winter wolf

Cute ones!

A field hamster approached wizard in a game.

Shit got familiar'd hard it was cash!

Breeders do crazy shit.

Giant albino velvet worm, maybe?

Would a lobster be too special snowflake?

Ribbon.

>Superior Crustacean Familiar
Hell no it's not snowflakey, it's damn interesting is what it is.

>Gettin' real tired of your bullshit

I'm planning to play as a thinly disguised H.P. Lovecraft at some point in the future. Basically a pessimistic wizard that always speaks "properly" and makes sure his threadbare robes look presentable at all times.

For my familiar, do you think it's enough to tell the DM that it's a beast, wrought in semi-human figure, filled with vice and called a nigger?

The problem with that line is that it only works if you pronounce "figure" as "figger", and only a nigger would say it like that.

>Not a cat named Nigger Man that sees the same spectral bullshit you do.
Do you even have any rats in your walls?

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Lobsters are neat in may ways but I'm not sure how well the do on land at all. I know crabs can wander around ok but they're very different in design. I've never seen a walking lobstah.

Dire Bumblebee

Canadian Geese
For when the imp would make your alignment too obvious.

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Coconut crab might do a bit better, and looks about right.

Pangolin.
I may pick sentient cat as ally or contact.
I also like spiders, big bats and capibaras.

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>not having a hyaena

do you even necromancer's familiar?

>gnaws and nibbles on your raised minions whenever you aren't looking
This seems like the opposite of an informed choice

nigga I've got 1000 of those guys, I don't care if Happy the laughing dog decides to eat one. Just means I don't have to think about feeding the little bastard, he'll take care of it on his own.

Also
>up at night like I am (raising the dead just "feels" best by candle light, you know what I mean?)
>laughs at everything I say (unlike stupid fucking skeletons)
>looks like a cute doggo by the standards of a guy who surrounds himself with rotting flesh constructs

10/10 would raise from the dead when he gets killed

OK hear me out here

Your familiar gets an Intelligence bonus

and the ability to speak

and some other powers

What if

Check this out

What if

I'm serious now

What if

human baby

How long a familiar live if the wizard have the power to live for very very long?

I would assume that familiars stay alive so long as they aren't killed and the wizard lives. Undead wizards probably have similarly undead pets.

Can a Kobold count or does sapience disqualify a creature from Familiar status?

youtu.be/3slTFD4wTlQ

You were at my side all along...

kot

>When you cast enlarge familiar

Lava Iguana.

Intentionally made vague so the gm and player can choose which best fits the narrative.

Want to be a wizard that goes through familiars on a monthly basis? No problem.

Want to be a 300 year old sorcerer turned lich that still has his rabbit that he had since day 1 that is perfectly healthy? Go ahead.

Maybe its life force is not only sustained by your magical bond but actually preserved to accompany you for as long as you need it. Maybe its an extraplanar manifestation that only took the form of a small life form out of convenience. Maybe the bond is actually destructive and burning the creature out is inevitable. Its your story so choose the best one that suits your needs.

> It's punches already heat the water to the temperature of the sun.

Wew.

>Want to be a 300 year old sorcerer turned lich
How does having a lich player character work? I'm new to all this but the entire point of them seems to be game-breaking power. I'd want to be an independently-willed skeleton sorcerer with fair balance with the rest of the party, without having everyone be tremendously OP.

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Early game it seems op and all bemefits but later on when a res is barely a dent in your wallet you will start regretting the 1d10 days it would take to reform. Sure you can plan on not getting killed and the massive hit point pool may make the job nearly impossible but really, clone and astral projection serve a good enough contingency. Also the 100k phylactery cost can be speny on equipment and inherrent bonuses which may produce more desirable benefits relative to the resource investment.

Also there is the several month spanning research and crafting time which is really hard to come by barring access to a timeless demiplane (min lvl 17 if you want perfect security ie no scrolls/hiring someone to cast it for you) because lets be real, when youre the primary arcane spell caster in the group, getting even a weekend of free time is a long shot.

tl;dr: its good, really good even. But its typically the last thing on the list of things that you want to spend time and money on and even then you can live wihout it.

Source: 3.P guy who has achieved lichdom several times and realized that he was plenty omnipotent by the time he got it.

A classic, made even more fun with a ring of eloquence, a wand held by the pincer and the sage archetype.

>I came here to eat grass and fuck bitches
>and I don't see no grass.

Mindblank also makes the best part of being undead pointless.

If you're playing going to punish them with level adjustment in addition to the loops they have to go through to get lich status, I would say not worth. Otherwise, it's a fun setup for the locate city nuke build if nothing else.

A sandslash

Owls!
youtube.com/watch?v=XeFxdkaFzRA
youtube.com/watch?v=M8el_P4yvfc

Mountable beast fueled by mass [love]

Thanks for the insight. I still want to do it purely because I want to be a skeleton but it's nice to know how it unfolds in gameplay.

Heres what you're going to be looking at assuming you go sorc

By level 18 (the optimal level to change) you will have 429 hit points (a lvl 18 barb will have 356, 410 if he's raging), you will be immune to cold, electricity, death, disease, mind affecting, paralysis, poison, sleep, stun, ability/energy drain as well as a few minor ailments not worth mentioning.

If you were keen on investing in it, you will also have a decent AC on top of the many magical defenses available to an arcane caster with access to 9th level spells. If you die once they banish your astral form back into your timeless demiplane and you can shift back into the prime material plane or whatever plane the battle is taking place in during the same round you were destroyed. If you decided to personally show up and bring your corporeal body and it somehow got destroyed, your phylactery will reform you in your timeless demiplane and you will once again be able to return within the same round you were destroyed in. Theoretically, if you were keen on it you can probably kill your enemy with nothing but your touch attacks as you endlessly return everytime they managed to destroy you. Since you took the steadfast personality feat, your important saves will be so high that you will likely only fail a save on a nat 1. Since you took the noble scion of war feat you will always win initiative even if you roll a 1 and they roll a 20.

On top of that, you will be nearly impossible to lie to, hide from and you can even have the mundane stealth of a ninja if you so desired.

So yeah, you will have a mountain of hp to shave off if they can get past your defenses it in the first place, have inhuman reflexes, will likely never be taken by surprise. The spell that you are ""weak"" against targets your best save and your indestructible body will be proof against all but the most specific of weaponry. Given your amazing social skills you can even choose to take over the world via simple diplomacy.

Hi Paul.

Gibbon would be my vote.

Sounds fantastic.

goats are awesome.

That is borderline nightmare fuel. I love it.

M'owl

*tips fedora*

Because humans breed animals for very specific traits, then you get abominations bred like these and pugs that only seem to exist for laughing at while you're drunk.

>undead hyena pack
>Huge bite damage with stun and chance to poison
>horrifying undead laughter

We need an African necromancer now. Starving withered zombies backed up by reanimated wildlife