Shit in RPGs that make you roll your eyes into the back of your skull

>Gravity
Funny way to spell Holy

I dunno man, but cultures have been worshiping elements since time immemorial. All gods are personifications of natural elements. What else would you worship that doesn't count as an element besides animals?

You mean like people did...?
In the real world...?
In ancient times...?

>heart

never gets old

>Not playing a qt3.14 ranger who comes from a humble nomadic culture that worships the elements as spirits of their ancestors.
>Not having that ranger get into the rough and tumble of decadent cities ruled by magus kings who control the population through false prophets and evil gods.
>Not having said ranger then question their faith as they are put into increasingly perilous circumstances and their friends are captured or killed by the BBEG.
>Then having a Mufasa in the clouds moment as you learn to follow the path of your spirit element and have evil dark sorcery get BTFO.

Why even play RPGs then?

People didn't really.

They worshipped gods that were personifications of the elements. All the stuff with the classical elements was SCIENCE to them, not religion.

>Animism never existed!

>spindly armed elf being able to draw a bow

Chill out or your allmonds will get all activated.

>not activating your almonds on a basis

Enjoy your no gains

>That's just the building blocks of stuff.
And that's not worth worshipping? Especially not in settings where elementals are inhumanly powerful creatures composed entirely of those elements? Do you really believe that a high ranking wind elemental wouldn't be worshipped like a god? Especially when the only thing setting them apart from low level god is a lack of divine ranks, with divine ranks being an arbitrary construct to begin with?

You can't just dismiss a single line concept you fucking idiot. Anything works with the right execution.

I do lotsa cardio, cardio allready kills gains. On a completelly unrelated issue do you want to run a marathon with me?
It'll be fun, I swear.

Is this shit for real? Please tell me they are trolling.

I can dl 410 lbs, but a marathon will totally wreck me.
I accept my defeat.

>Le romantic misanthrope
8/10

>All the stuff with the classical elements was SCIENCE to them, not religion
>thinking ancient people differentiating between science and religion

>I know literally nothing about religious history: The Post

I like you,you're a good sport.
I salute your integrity and honor, user sama.

>What's shintoism?

A bizarre religion that worships butthole eye ghosts

spirit worship.

Point to one branch of animism that does not deal with spirits but with elements

weeb christianism

>the creature that lives to be 1000 and was literally created by its god is constrained by human muscle tolerances

Highest of laughs

> elves live for hundreds of years
> start out about 100 years old

> arent at least halfway to epic level with huge skill selections and weapon masteries already

>Creating a mixture of Japanses, Irish, Carribean and Brooklyn cultures.

When most of your life is about dicking around your forest relaxing and learning things at what would be considered a lazy pace for humans, you don't tend to start adventuring till you've outlived most humans.

Like seriously, they probably do sword training like once a week for an hour. Then go have a 2 hour lunch, and then take a hike to visit that neat spot near the river for a light hearted game of mancala or three and then go searching for herbs for the end of the week mini feast.

You describe this as if its a common trope. What is this from?

With a bit of bending, maybe Warcraft trolls? Lacks the Japanese though. And aztec would be more valid as a choice.

In D&D at least they establish that they're adolescents until ~100.

Just take every year of your childhood and multiply it by 5, right?
Why would they start out epic?

Goblins hit adulthood at like 8 or 10. Does that mean everyone else should start out way higher level than them?

kek tier

Elves spend roughly 90 years surfing Internet sites and watching anime before they start to do something meaningful with their lives.

Well, let's do the math
>live for 100 years
>old enough to hold a sword at 20
>practice swords once a week for an hour
>52 weeks in a year
>for 80 years
>4160 hours
And that's just the motherfuckers that laze around and only do the mandatory PT. Elven warriors that actually want to be the best would be fucking terrifying. The ridiculous flippy spinny shit that Legolas did in The Hobbit is probably the most accurate depiction of elven swordsmanship ever put to film.

I guess he meant mixing cultures in a non-sensical/convoluted way, making an inconsistent mess.

>The ridiculous flippy spinny shit that Legolas did in The Hobbit is probably the most accurate depiction of elven swordsmanship ever put to film.
It would be more convincing coming from an tall, well-built, grey-eyed elf.

>muh good drow
It's just such a dry, overused concept. Let it rest in the vault with lich BBEGs for half a decade and then see what happens.

greatest Klingon band ever

Elves in general. I don't hate them but give it a damn rest - not every character the party makes has to be elves.

The only good thing in Warcraft.

>not every character the party makes has to be elves

Can confirm: In my last play group I was a Tiefling Bard and the other characters were an Elf Wizard, Elf Ranger, and a Half-Elf Monk. Motherfuckers almost never wanted to a Full rest so it was bitch using spells. Especially since I was the only one with healing spells.

>Goblins hit adulthood at like 8 or 10. Does that mean everyone else should start out way higher level than them?
Yes

>darkness void and gravity not being a single one
Just put Ice and steel into the mix if we want to be redundant

>absence of light
>absence of stuff
>force that makes things fall down
>all the same thing.
I want to know what argument you can make for those three being one and the same. I already know it cannot be a cogent one, so don't make too big effort...

Easy. They are all black.

youtube.com/watch?v=I6I8pQTiCzA

this girl is p thin and she can pick up nearly 220lb

plus elves are fucking magic

Deadlifts work out everything but the arms. Also,
>dem thighs

Worshipping the personification of something doesn't mean you're not still worshipping the original thing.

>not praising the sun
Pleb detected

I worship californium, curium and neptunium.

>I'm playing a dwarf!
That's great, good on you
>With an axe!
Ok cool

And then the cunt will roll out the worst notscottish accent to just take that dead horse out for another fucking beating.

Even if you ignore the basic elemental worship or the instances in which a simple lightning was interpreted as the doings of a huge man in the sky, I remind you that early greek philosophers (pre-Socrates) debated over which element was the basic elements.

Thales of Miletus claimed that water was the first and most important of the four elements because it was the amount of moisture (or absence of it) and the amalgamation of all other elements through it that determined matter.

Heraclitus of Ephesus claimed fire was the rightful one, as basic manifestation of change in all elements and matter. His ideas were a bit like the concept of energy transmission, though it was still too early to look at it with a scientific approach.

I don't remember who the guys respectively advocating earth and air were but I'm sure anyone can find out even on the most basic websites like wikipedia; unless they are OP, in which case they will be redirected to endless slideshows of cocks to lust upon.

You seem to have illustrated the corollary: never start a "post X" thread with an example of X more interesting than your thread concept!

Anaximenes claimed it was air. As far as I know, no greek philosopher ever claimed it was earth.

It's almost as stupid as worshipping the sun, right?

Shout out to Parmenides for starting the whole gnostic "our world is a fake world" descartes-style bullshit.

If I had 5 times as much childhood I would fucking run the place, so yes.
God, I did so much more shit as a kid.

are dwarves just a magnet for uncreativity? why does Veeky Forums like them so much?

I have a pseudo-religion in setting that was heavily inspired by Thales of Miletus, though it's more a philosophy brought on by'look at how many water gods the other religions have' than actual worship.

Because Veeky Forums is a magnet for uncreativity

Just as the corn is surrounded by chaff, the creative are suffocated by those who lack.

Dwarves just work, that's why. Dwarves also tend to get more justifications for their specializations over elves usually.

Nothing about dwarves does or ever has made sense. They are trash that grognards idolize because they, on some level, realize they are trash too

Intelligence checks for history and religion, and other broad topics with many specific branches.

All stat checks cover broad categories of activities with many specific branches, though. Why single out Int checks?

People are stupid user. Bear in mind there is a movement to resurrect paganism, in the twenty first century there are people voluntarily pretending or genuinely believing witchcraft and tree spirits exist.

SEEK OUT THE THRONE OF THE ELEMENTS

>And then the cunt will roll out the worst notscottish accent to just take that dead horse out for another fucking beating.

What's ironic is that the "scottishness" of dwarves was likely based on the naavies, who were cheap irish laborers in the US and UK when lord of the rings was being written and would have frequently been seen around mines and in lumberyards of the period, and also have been fairly stunted in height due to the potato famines but fairly muscular and hardy from their daily work.

So remember to do "gruff irish" accents when doing dwarves, not "gruff scottish" accents, it's just unrealistic otherwise.

>tips fedora

actually Johann Joachim Becher's Physica subterranea (1667) proposed that the non-earth elements were all types of earth, of which the one replacing fire, "terra penguinous", was held to be released from an object that underwent combustion, a notion that would form the basis of Stahl's 1703 "Phlogistonic theory".

And let's be honest, by the 1600s all europeans were just various kinds of greeks.

Acknowledging that people are stupid is in no way fedora-worthy. Are you lost?

>tips fedora

If it has personhood it's a god

>by the 1600s all europeans were just various kinds of greeks
Your going to have to put a little more work into that if you want to be taken seriously on this matter.

Now I want a setting where there worshippers of shit like arsenic, helium and boron

You haven't contradicted anything in the post you reference.

God's aren't people any more than celebrities.

>Elves in general
I have a problem with people playing old or ancient characters in general.

>Oh yeah my character is 1000 years old and was a great general and scholar in his time and did all sorts of cool shit
Well why is he level 1 then?
>Well he lost all his power because X and now he's looking to get it back.
>Proceeds to play character like a regular human but expect everyone to treat him as a badass

So yeah, now I disallow characters like that in my games unless we're starting at a high level already, players can almost never do "ancient" or "wise" or "experienced" characters well.

Oh god, you reminded me of something.

Long, long ago, I was playing in an LGS group, and this one guy was playing some sort of fae or similar elderitch creature.

And I'm peeking over at his character sheet because he wanted help with the math for some spell he was casting, and I see

>Age: Az is the oldest member of the group. Keep this flexible until can determine the ages of the other characters, but is at least a thousand and at most 2.3 times the age of the next oldest character.

(paraphrased, I don't remember the exact wording).

I'm not even sure why it annoyed me so much, but I seriously wanted to punch him over it.

Read actual books instead of RPG rulebooks, user.

>but is at least a thousand and at most 2.3 times the age of the next oldest character.
Wouldn't this require the next oldest character to be 435 years old?

>Nothing about dwarves does or ever has made sense. They are trash that grognards idolize because they, on some level, realize they are trash too
aight you hate dwarves I get it.

>Bat people
>Wolf people
>Rat people
>Squirrel people
>Lizard people
>Snake people
>______ people

Someone please prove me wrong that animal people aren't the gutter of creativity.

Get the fuck out of here knife-ears.

>tribbles trilby

Paganism is fucking based m8.

OH BECAUSE LIVING A FUCKING TREE AND BEING WANKERS WANKING EACH OTHER OFF ALL DAY WHILE SINGING SONGS AND WANKING MAGIC OFF INTO YOUR MAGIC HOLES MAKES SENSE!?

FUCK OFF BYGORRA WHICH YU.

Zoroastrizm had fire worship so go back and tip your stone age fedora.

Most of the campaign was a kind of Unseelie vs Seelie court intrigue/low key civil war amongst the fey peoples. The average age of the party was something like 700ish.

>everyone is oddly tolerant and your the dickhead because you have your own kingdoms self interest
>being own race first is bad

Why would I not be biased to my own? I don't care for the others really. Ain't my people.

>why do people worship animal spirits
>why do people worship nature
>why do people worship the ocean

There are a lot of things that you can even partially personify without making them a deity.