Beeple-beep beep! Do guardsman retire?

why the fuck do you keep starting threads with beep beep shit, just ask a question like a normal person

peacefully farming or working in a manufactorum? I mean, it can be really shitty but decidedly less shitty than being pointed at a fucking Bloodletter and being told "affix bayonets"

I don't get it. Why do "excuse me sir?" Threads get so much flak while these are just fine?

Fuck off.

Fuck you

Yeah.

There's even a pleasure world for retired disabled guardsmen. Oddly enough, it's known for producing large amounts of servitors.

Conceptualy, yes.
In pratiche, no.

Only when high command want to re-settle conquered world with some hardass loyal motherfuckers. In this case entire invasion force get retired left on the planet as it's new population. This usually happens when the planet in question is already dangerous or there are long-term isssue of enemy leftovers (feral Orks are the most common case) - so it's not much a retirement, as former guardsmen are supposed to fight for their planet for a few generations at beast before so only their grand-children could truly feel "retired" from Guard.

This is a legitimate question about the fluff, not an unsubtle attempt to feel smug by pointing at inconsistencies.

Don't reply to that faggot.

So, "No."

>What former lives? Aren't the few who make it in the Imperial Guard career soldiers selected from the best each world has to offer?

Depends on the world. In some worlds the tithe is selected from the best among the PDF. In others they just shanghai some people from the underhive and give them basic training.

I'd imagine the former get some fairly cozy positions in the local PDF if they get the chance to retire in their homeworld.

Chill out, he's probably just some sort of abhuman... I'm assuming it's a he, anyway...

I can think of 3 examples, all from Cain's last stand. The first two are Cain and jurgen, who are retired from active duty at that point, but still work for the guard... ish. The third is a seriously old dude who joins a group of civilian volunteers, and mentions being a retired guardsman.

So, retirement is more of "vacation between inevitable conflicts."

Pretty much.

So whole worlds are colonized by PTSD, mutilated and/or elderly former guardsmen and the unlucky families getting stuck with the shell of the man/woman they once knew?

Is pretty grimdark.

I thought they always had to send their best because of the strict and high requirements to join the guard.

Yes

They get a pension and they live the rest of their lives on whatever planet they happen to be on at the time.

Some of Abnett's stuff touches on this.
In one of the Gaunt's Ghosts books I think it mentions that the Tanith will be offered the first world they successfully conquer to settle and retire on.

There's also a short Eisenhorn story where he investigates a possible cult revolving around a bunch of retired Guardsmen, only to find out that there is no cult and they're all suffering from PTSD and seeing Daemons where there are none.

They don't have to, but sending a sub-par tithe really doesn't look good and tends to lead you into having questions and investigations into your loyalties

i always read that beeple beep shit and get dissapointed it's not a discworld thread.

IRC a world that was colonized by a bunch of PTSD IG vets mutilated the civs. They fought chaos so they cut the civs tongues so they wouldn't be able to speak chaos's lies, blinded them so they won't see the temptations of chaos etc.

In Titanicus the planetary governors' bodyguards were retired stormtroopers, so yes.

Guardsmen very rarely see their home planet again. They are settled wherever they are closest (usually a world they've just conquered), their homeworld family never sees them again.

Why is there a guardsman roleplaying game. It seems like everything about them is figuring out how to construct the worst life ever.

This basically. You're SUPPOSED to send the best, but given how slow the Imperium can work at times, you could probably legitimately send regiments of Orphans below the age of ten for twenty years before the Administratum gets around to prosecuting your granddaughter or grandson.

Honestly, given the amount of warp travel they have to take, that might be for the best. Imagine turning up and finding your childhood sweetheart has been dead for three generations, or turning up a week after you left and no one understanding how you could be so traumatised in such little time.

Man, now I kinda both want and don't want to play IG.

So, they have to.

Because you get to roleplay as space Rambo. Or you can be the dirty dozen in space. Or you can do nam. In space. It's fun to some people. Sides if you play that game yoy don't expect to retire. If your character survives several successive sessions your already ahead of the curve.

Thinking of a book I knew where some ig were talking and this came up. On of them said he knew for sure that his family back home was dead, cause no one had touched his pay, and it had been accumulating with interest.

Well kinda. Thing is the guard also has a lot of pride wrapped up with it. You Don want ro send your worst cause they are gonna go represent your planet. You wanna show how fuck awesome you are, and every guard regiment is proud of its planet and traditions. Cept penal legions.

Along with all your childhood pets: that planet id where nice farm is...

C4 & a remote control unit is lligh: those poor slaaneshis thinking they're about to grab a loliharem and *cli..*

No. If they manage to become too old and infirm to serve in combat, but have proven their worth enough for this not to be considered an excuse for cowardice, they continue to serve the emperor by being the subject of many cruel psychological torture tests administered by the empire.

Many are exposed to a large array of friendly kittens and are tasked to keep them company, looking to find out the merits of the servants of the imperium having regular interaction with animals.

Some are made to have sex with pretty ladies that are also big fans of the same games and movies as they are as part of an initiative to find the optimal social connection for soldiers to have. They may be made to play Magic with them before or after.

Others still are given a doggy bag that's just FULL of weed, but no snacks. Like, there's food around, but you have to make it. There's nothing easy you can just have out of the bag.

Remember, the Imperium does not care for the wellbeing of individuals.

>family hit the lottery instead

Sign me up for the next war!

>The secret to 40k lore is that the answer is always the most Grimdark.
So... they're forced to become DMV automatons upon retirement?

>the reason the imperial guard is so inefficient is because their logistics is staffed by retired imperial guard

>Thing is the guard also has a lot of pride wrapped up with it.

You mean where everyone knows they're just fodder?

nigga you never read any of their books have you?

>retired guardsmen running logistics know exactly what to do to make things move with perfect efficiency
>keep things inefficient because it trains guardsmen to be self-reliant
>social-darwinism is the pinnacle of guardsman enlightenment

The guard are elite compared to the people they fight 90% of the time.

This.

Key word being 'people.'

The instant they start fighting aliens or daemons or some shit, they're objectively outclassed because, no matter how badass you are as a Guardsman, you are merely human. That Ork's gonna twist your head around 'til it pops off, and then use it as a hacky-sack with da Boyz.

This is compensated for via sheer overwhelming numbers. Against regular ol' insurgents, or even Chaos cultists without a lot of sorcerous lore or Chaos Marine support, Guardsmen tend to do just fine with only minor to moderate casualties at worst.

And these are the average regiments. The really good ones kick all kinds of ass even when they're outmatched to stupid degrees.

Aaaaand then the Space Marines show up and take all the fucking credit.

I remember in an Omnibus that Yarrick was taken cared of by his grandfather after his parents died. Grandfather was a retired Guardsman, but when the Orks showed up, he was called back into service, having to leave the orphaned seven-year-old Yarrick.

So, yes, there is a retirement, but you could be expected to be called back into action by the PDF at any given time

>and the unlucky families
Nope. They won't pay to bring your family to you.

Now if you can scrape together enough to get a civilian ride home, and if it's fast enough to get you there before you die of old age...