How do you deal with sex in your games, Veeky Forums?

Every single one is fade to black.
If a player tries to break the sacred fade-to-black I (and often other players) just stare at them with 'dude, what the fuck?' looks on our faces until he backs down.

No, you're thinking of the offshoots of mormons, like the RLDS church. Mormons only practiced polygamy when they were outside the states, and that was so they wouldn't all die off.

Most of the sexual content in a group i'm running comes up in combat as innuendo. Last session there was a BDSM succubus and we were all cracking up about how she was moaning when she was getting hit with a whip that our tall dark fighter had.

Another session had satyrs who were frenzied and had raging erections, druid rolled a 2 on perception. "All you can perceive is the frantic swaying of the erect satyr's member from left to right"

As for actual sex, fade to black is the one. If you have a party member who wants to describe in detail what they do an NPC, purge them.

I put a porn clip on screen.

Describe everything as detailed as possible, encouraging players to touch themselves and mimic their character's voices as much as possible.
... Is what you're expecting to hear, OP? No, really, there isn't anyone who would handle it differently from FtB unless they were playing FATAL or BoEF in the first place.

Depends on the character attempting to seduce and the character being seduced.

Fully roleplayed but must be screamed at the top of your lungs if not it doesn't happen.

Fully role-played, but while wearing a ball gag.

Thank is for correcting the record, .5 native American jesus coins have been deposited in your account

However as they, like your religion, are backed by a fucking con artist they have no value as us legal tender. Sorry.

I run games online with other perverts, so the answer is cybersex.

Sex in game has to be performed live. The players have to play the girl while the DM takes the role of the guy.

What about gay sex.

Sorry, thats a lie, they were never in danger of dying off and had groups large enough that lical governments feared their population could dominate voting blocs. Which is exactly what scam artist PRESIDENT Smith was aiming for. And after threatening a judge who called him out on it he skipped town with everyone's bank money.

Also tell your DM that if he wants some better inspiration for his BBEG, try actually reading his Doctrines and Covenants book, especially the part where it said the civil war would become a world war, or the part about the entire US would be destroyed down to potsherds within 3 years. OR 2nd coming christ appearing by the year 1900.

Excellent advice on how evil overlords manipulate their minions.

Shubb-Niggurath pls

well i like it, on the occasions whem i'm highly immersive with my character and the GM is too is fun. A great way to get to know an NPC is by flirting with her.

"You spend the night together"

Leaves it up to interpretation whether or not uglies were bumped. Sex is not the focus in games I run so there's never relly any need to play it past that.

The really important question is : dexterity or charisma roll?

>And as far as player's seducing other PCs, make them RP it. No dice. Just dialogue between the two players. You'll find this usually discourages that kind of behaviour.
As a fellow GM, a non-intervention policy is possibly one of the absolute worst things to suggest to anyone. It invites awkward encounters between players and if you're running a session with people who aren't familiar with each other at the table then you're, at best, inviting disaster to your campaign. At worst, possibly sexual harassment claims.

>At some point it will inevitably come up.
That really depends on your system though

a complex equation using all stats and virtually all skills

Strength, obviously

Fade to black. Unless they insist on roleplaying it, at which point I take advice from TFOS.

I always play as females and play chicken with the DM because I don't initiate sex, and the DM knows damn well that rape is my fetish.

one of these days I'm going to have a super interesting session.

s-source?

We roll opposed toughness to check performance

This reminds me of something I read.

If a movie depicts a young teenager getting raped, it's "drama". If it depicts two young teenagers in a consensual sexual relationship, it's filth and sparks riots in the streets. Ergo; it's more acceptable to depict kids getting raped than in normal relationships.

If by "it will inevitable come up" you mean "eventually the heroes will finish a great quest and return to their home town to a parade and lots of pretty women", that's when I skip to the next day so fade to black.

If you meant to imply eventually you will have to add a sex encounter, no I don't. No GM should unless it was an ERP at the start.

why is it such an unconfortable topic anyways? its all constructed by society, isn't it?

I mean, we can describe in detail how we want to kill our opponent (important: Take life) but we can't describe how we bone? (important: make life) ?

Fade to black and a skill roll

We've made sex an extremely private and personal thing, while we have done no such thing with murder.

Allow me to break it down for you.

It violates social convention. This means it makes people uncomfortable. Accepting and following social convention is what makes you normal. Defying it makes you bizarre. Defying it in this way (descriptions of imaginary sex, most likely graphic, and most likely amongst members of the same sex) makes you a fucking loser.

These are the truths and I have said them.

>Defying it in this way (descriptions of imaginary sex, most likely graphic, and most likely amongst members of the same sex) makes you a fucking loser.
Yes. Because it's trying to shortcut around actually having to deal with the social convention proper. And very flatly failing to, mind you.

Plus, imaginary sex implies a lack of getting real sex, and a lack of which is for fucking losers.

t. whore

I was not in the group at the time, but my current group had two player characters get married by a Dwarven priest of a god none of them worshiped. After the wedding, they consummated upon the most holy site of the Dwarves. In the end, they ended up finishing all over the crown of the first Dwarven king. This was during their first campaign, I joined after this campaign. They say that this was the most interesting campaign cause they did not know the rules of it and the players went rampant

There are other stories from this campaign, not in the same way as this. Such as;
>The Market Place Fiasco
>How the party Barbarian Half-Orc, Eggroll, defeated an the avatar of Pelor by breaking him over the knee
>Killing Thor
>Using a wish to get a giga-city and named it "Glenn"
>Dying in a Christmas special flashback
>Guillermo, the gnome sorcerer, using an overpowered hombrew school of magic known as Sanguimancy to kill a T-Rex
>The Fight for Glenn

These are only some of the crazy things that happened, there are many more of course, that's if everyone is interested in hearing about them.

On that note, I think my PC might be inventing fantasy Mormonism

Oh, my mistake.
Mormons built a religion purely to introduce multi-level marketing to the world.

Intelligence do you remember where your older brother told you the G-spot is

I need to hear all of those stories, including the very first, in chronological order

Depends on the group and game.

If it's an ERP game/group, then it happens.
If not, nobody goes near.

Does it really need to be those two extremes?

Or you're into things that are impossible socially or physically

Depends on the group, but I like to have some pithy one-line deal if there's not going to be much detail. To keep it interesting, so it's not instant boredom each time.

Things like "she gets pushed into the wall and squeals cutely".
Or "flesh-slapping sounds are heard from the tend until first light".

My games are usually with non-prudes, so avoiding sex is just due to an interest in doing other things, not for a special aversion.

Interest in erotic or sexy fantasies does not imply a lack of real-life sex. It's a flavorful addition, not a replacement. So he's just straight wrong.

No. Like I mentioned , if your group is comfortable, you can do quick scenes to 'flesh out' the setting, and keep the tone right.

"Alright, you jam your penis into her, and she moans loud and low like a wanton cow. Meanwhile is scouting the north perimeter and finds X."

One of my cyborg PC's recently accidentaly created an AI by having sex with a fridge, so pretty casually i would say.

It never comes up really. But if it does I mandate that the player describe whether it involves vigorous thrusting or is soft and tender. Going detail is stupid, but avoiding it is just wasted opportunity.

My standing rule at my table is that if two PCs have sex in the game, or if a PC has sex with an NPC, then the players themselves also have to fuck, or the player and DM respectively.

Cut down on that shit right quick.

I mean except for Greg and Tom but they ended up moving in together.

Same as with If the group is cool with lewds, play it out (in text games), otherwise stay away and fade to black if it comes up.

In my non-lewd games it's
>my barbarian hits the guy hitting on him/tells her to knock it off, that they should keep it professional between them
>my druid turns them down without skipping a beat
>my warrior looks at the guy/girl puzzled and then glares at them, telling them that he doesn't appreciate them pulling his leg, as he is horribly disfigured and figures no one would ever be attracted to him.
>my fighter turns their advances down

oh /pol/

>How do you deal with sex in your games, Veeky Forums?

We fuck on the table...in character.

Learn2meme

With consequences. Last PC who get laid has a unwanted baby on the way. The fun part is that he is the father, and the mother could and would pursue him to the end of the world so he can take care of said baby.

Athletics, of course

You know it's not a big deal but it always annoys me my DM makes NPCs do a opposed charisma check when ever a player tries to seduce seduction an NPC, because why is there an assumption people are naturally going to be opposed to sex, yes even in the Middle Ages.

I'm not gonna go full Tumblr and complaining how it represents outdated sexual morals but it just bugs me.

I don't need the full story, but these short blurbs are gold.

>Play an ultra-social-conservative Investigator (No sex after marriage, no cross-species romance, bla bla bla)
>NPCs right left and centre try to seduce him

>No sex after marriage,
So sex before marriage is fine?

It's glossed over like anything else that isn't important

>Marriage now doesn't exist in this fantasy setting.

Try to stay chaste now, Investigator!

>makes NPCs do a opposed charisma check
That should only happen if they're both trying to seduce the other

This is literally the 6th time I read about Mormons on Veeky Forums all week. Twice on Veeky Forums, twice on Veeky Forums, once on /tv/, and once again right freaking now. What is going on here? Did Utah finally get internet after all those years?

Don't worry, a few more decades and there'll be so many more women than men that no one will care anymore.

As a type of combat.

I hope you can excuse me, but I am typing this as I go, I do not have them pre-written.
>How they killed the king in the first few minutes
The campaign started off with all of the players knowing each other and begin on a road. Our players included: Arland- the Dwarf Fighter. Eggroll- the Barbarian Half Orc, Guillermo - the Gnome Sorcerer, & Ermias - The Female Human Rogue. As they came upon a farmer on a wagon, their first instinct was to make sure he was put into the ground. Turns out that farmer was the king in disguise because he is being hunted down by assassins. He couldn't have expected the blood thirsty fury that is players finding out they have complete freedom in a game for the first time.

>Cont. to the Marketplace Fiasco

>The Market Place Fiasco
A true testament to poor dice rolls and shit getting out of hand quick.

As the group entered back town after a fine battle with an unsuspecting farmer, both Eggroll and Arland decide that they need better equipment. Thing is, they were poor as sin. Luckily though, they have a rogue on their side. The group sends Ermias to nab some armor for them at the marketplace. Meanwhile, Eggroll would provide the distraction. Thing is, Eggroll started to panic and resorted to attacking the innocuous merchant. What he didn't expect was a surprise critical hit to his knee from a dagger knocking him near unconsciousness. Things were not looking good. Thankfully, Guillermo used Ghost Sound to help give him the upper hand.
"City Watch, drop your weapons!"
Of course the commoner obeyed, and then Eggroll tore the guy's dagger out of his knee and used it to slit the guy's throat. Eventually, the real city watch were called in to intervene. Then I can't quite recall, but I believe at one point someone kicked over a food cart and yelled something along the lines of "SCATTER!" before running away

>Cont. to Killing Thor

If they are both trying to seduce each other they should just have sex.

At most should be an insight check to see if they picked up on your advances. Vances

>If they are both trying to seduce each other they should just have sex
But then they can't determine who wins at romance.

The one who is confessed to is the one who holds all power in the relationship, after all.

>Killing Thor
After clearing out Arland's ancestral tomb of his forefathers. They had more gold than god. This is after the consummation of Guillermo's and Ermias' wedding. So the DM came up with a planar traveling sales merchant named Flizdam. This was the DM's answer to drain their funds by selling them unique artifacts. Such as Thor's Hammer, the Deck of Many Things, and the Spike of Atropos, it was used to nail Jesus to the cross and had the potential of trapping anything within it.

When they bought Mjolnir, it was placed within a magically sealed case so Thor could not discern it's location. Arland gets the bright idea to remove it from it's case. Surprise... he can't carry it and it's seal was destroyed. Thor, being righteously pissed about having lost his hammer and now having it's link reconnected. Teleported to the group and demands for Mjolnir. The party wholeheartedly refused, thus combat with a deity began. The battle itself was rough on the party as they were getting their shit pushed in by a god. Just because he does not have his signature weapon, doesn't mean he's any less of a god that can make you his bitch with his fists. A single hit was able to knock Arland down to single digits and he withdrew from the fight. Guillermo on the other hand was continuously summoning Adolf, the Dire Hippo in the air and dropping him onto Thor. The cycle of life and death continued for poor Adolf. Each time, it's telepathically say to Guillermo, "Master, no" in a sad low hippo-y voice.

This is where we suffer the second party member death. Realizing that the gnome is summoning the Hippo and causing grievous injuries to him, Thor decided to beeline towards Guillermo and unleash the fury of a god upon his frail old body. I forgot to mention that Guillermo is of venerable age and is staying alive purely by a massive amount of drugs keeping his heart pumping. On Arland's turn, he ran up and stabbed Thor with the Spike, killing Thor and getting Mjolnir.

The first death was when Eggroll got the Deck of Many Things and pulled the Death Card. Eggroll's enemy was the Grim Reaper himself. The battle itself wasn't long and Death literally just breathed death into him, failing his save, Eggroll is dead, for now. They eventually brought him back to life.

>Nobody wins

It's a boring answer but it really does depend on the needs of the group. Table rules should be established at the start of a campaign about what should or should not be off limits for the game. Second, some groups think sex and sexuality is amusing and that's fine and that's how it should be used if they like that. I think sex needs to always be consensual from the perspective of the PCs, so I never have NPCs 'roll to seduce them' or whatever - I just say, 'he's trying to seduce you' after some IC statements and let the player make their own choice.

I also like it when sex changes things. People have meaningless sex all the time in the real world, and some groups are fine with that in game, but since I tend to think sex as the development of a relationship when we're talking about the units of a story, things should be different after sex than they were before.

Always fade to black.

Roll sex appeal, fade to black, roll Erotic Art, deal with aftermath. I have never actually had to do this.

Mormons hit mainstream in the last decade or so and people are more closely scrutinizing the coven they have set up in Utah.

I liked your storytime

>whoever fucks, we lose

What about sex in self defense tho?

You act it out on the table while everyone else watches.

depends again. If you have party where they aren't best buddies, roll through it
If they know eachother for years though, roleplay is better

>You'll not find me easy prey, brigand!

Poorly

Politely decline. Our crusade against Evil leaves no time for responsible parenting.

Wisdom

A fa/tg/uy consecrated a Mormon temple to the chaos gods once.

You always roll Int for sex, silly.

Women mostly stay on facebook, twitter, instagram and their like

underrated post

He probably meant that it would be silly to dislike polygamy if the ratio of women to men was significantly higher. Which is a present population trend.

Or that people won't care as much about religion in the next few decades. Who knows?

This. PG-13 is best rating.

Even better if there's even no fade to black, just implications and subtle hints. Takes a well-adjusted group, though.

Smoke bomb, Withdraw, Stealth, Years of Stalking.

It came up for the fist time last week and it almost ended the game.
You see, we have a house rule of "you say it, you do it". Basically if you joke about doing something your character does it instantly, this is to stop people from going off on tangents of "lol, wouldn't it be funny if this happened"

So the characters we're in an abandoned temple full of statues, A dragon born paladin and two female sorcerers.
The paladin says "I fuck the statues" meaning "I break the statues" one of the other players (lets call her girl A) pipes up. "House rule, that means you have sex with it!"
So everyone decides that the paladin literally humped a statue. The Paladin wasn't happy.

Later the party fought a dragon, On her turn Girl A says, "I'm going to fuck up that dragon." Instantly the paladin chimes in. "that means she has sex with it! It's only fair." Girl B agreed and started shouting "suck its dick!" So I said "you attempt to fuck the dragon, roll to suck dick"
Girl A refuses to roll, before I can say anything else, Girl B rolls a dice and shouts "Natural 20, I suck a mean dick!"

So I go with it and say "You suck a mean dick while your fellow sorcerer refuses to act, I can see now why she's single"

Girl A, jumps up from her seat and threatens to leave, we would have let her go but she had the players hand book under her arm.

She came back but the mood was ruined for the rest of the evening.

There's a lesson for Girl A. If you come play:
You play for keeps.

Girl B a best though.