Roommate tells me he wants to play dnd and dm

NO U!

Cheating is kinda bulllshit, but what the hell it's been fun so far

Keep going. don't care. they gave you the sheet to work with. it's their own damn faults

>yuki is slingshot projectile fired directly into the necromancer
>knocks his stomach in with her foot so hard he passes out
>grabs his necklace off him, then jumps back down to her party
>”How do you destroy the medallion?” the DM asks me.
>oh, yuki doesn’t destroy it
>she puts it on
>suddenly has complete control over the undead army
>”No, I’m not allowing this,” paladin bitches.
>he rushes to kill yuki
>followers hold him back
>DM makes us roll to see who prevails
>i think you know what the outcome already was
>with her new command of corpses, yuki subjects the paladin to his terrible fate
>she dances
>and the undead follow her in complete sync
>”you better, run, run, run, run, run~ “
>paladin pushes everything off the table in a hissy fit
>goes outside to scream
>everyone else follows to calm him down
>game night’s over
>and my roommate hasn’t organized another dnd session since

wow it sure is funny how your wacky character rolled a 20 exactly at the perfect spot for unlikely things to happen.

I'm thrilled by this story.

So kinda tangentially related, what do 5e's rules say about ascending to godhood? How many followers do you need?

This.

Wasted opportunity

youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA

No rules for it, since it's more a narrative than mechanical concept. Ascension would also be a setting-by-setting basis anyways.
So talk with your DM about it.

I dunno if 5e's put out rules for ascension yet. It could be the old Divine Spark shit all over again.

Made up story about OP being an ass. What a downer.

It was easy to see it'd have been shit at the first "nat 20".
I had some hazy memory of 3.5 having a fixed rule where if X people worshipped you, you'd automatically become a god. So this story made me think "what if you do that via a modern day cult of personality".

It should be less then 5 million.
I remember a reading about a dragon ascending in Chessenta in the Forgotten realms campaign guide. Don't remember the Population there, but it is likely around 1,5 to 3 million. Taken from this number, there must be a high enough fraction worshiping to bring him among the chief gods of the region.

Here I thought this was going to be interesting, not a story that never happened about stroking the ego-dick of a that guy.

What can you do man. Weebs.
Just move on and sage if you just HAVE to reply.

I'm not against the weebishness. I actually think a k-popesque bard could absolutely work and even be a fun and interesting character for the entire party. I want to salvage this idea.

fuck i miss Michael

...

I have some important work to do, but the sheer shittiness of this entire story is enough to make me unable to actually work until I express why I hate you and your story so much.

Without further ado:
>Make an attention-stealing spotlight-whore of a character, who
>a) goes directly against the party's desires, plans, and wishes, and practically warps the game to be around her
>b) is of the "lolsorandumb XD" type of chaotic alignment, whose actions are entirely hindered upon a shit "5% chance to be GOD" meme, that, again, warps the game to be centered around them due to just fucking up everybody's shit (and not in a "good" way)
>c) goes directly against their alignment of "good" by taking control of numerous undead/becoming a necromancer, manipulating and sending innocent bumfuck farmers to their deaths, and even going so far as to kill their own party member, a fucking holy paladin
>And that's not all
>You, the player, proceed to
>a) call the other players' characters "edgelords", despite describing as your stock standard fantasy D&D fantasy characters, describing NOTHING about how they're edgelords
>b) go completely against the tone, mood, and setting of the game/party, and, I really cannot goddamn stress this enough, warp the game to be around you and your shit character for at least an entire month
>c) fuck things up so much to cause your roommate either to not invite you to any more games, or worse, not to run any at all
>d) have the absolute fucking gall to act like you were the one in the right all along, both then and now

And that's assuming the story is actually true, which it very likely isn't. Even then I'm still absolutely pissed at you for writing such a shit story.
Leave and never return.

I liked it.

I legitimately want to make a pop-star character now. And I've never wanted to make a female character in the past.

And to top it all off I'm a big Veeky Forums dude.

>If it is real the DM deserved it for rolling his fucking stats for him.

>You did one douchy thing, this gives me the right to be a douche back over a month+ and to a group of additional people who haven't wronged me.

...

I think he did pretty well with the crap he got dished out. I mean sure he could make a deceptive cunt rogue but thats been done 500 times. Now a K-Pop star that goes out trying to get mass fanatical followers. Thats interesting.

samefagging

This may be one of the worst, least funny, and most blatantly made up stories I've ever read here. Fuck you.

fuck you, fuck the dm for putting up with this shit.

ITT: Lots of Butthurt Paladins

>fuck the dm for putting up with this shit.
Not to mention having a BBEG that gets KO'd by a single kick
Good thing the DM is entirely fictional.

I thought it was going to be a story about the best friends gf being some kind of cute Korean pop star...

It's entertaining, mostly because you seem oblivious that you'd be That Guy in this story

Fortunately it didn't happen.

I'm kinda glad the bubble finally burst on these shitty stories and no ones even pretending to be fooled by them anymore. Retarded wannabe That Guys bragging about their non-existent "lel so whacky shenanigans caused by a 100 consecutive nat 20s and an utterly spineless dm" were really getting tiresome.

>Imma gunna write a jokey fake story and amaze Veeky Forums with my cleverness!

>Your fake story is 100% obviously fake.
Totally fake stories have been done well as satire, comedy, or to prove a point, but...

>Your story is pointless
There is no hero, no goal, no moral, nothing remotely worth telling.

>Your story is not funny.
There is not a single moment of humor in the entire telegraphed monotony of predictable cardboard. Lt Steven Hauk in Good Morning Vietnam was legitimately more entertaining than any word you wrote.

>Your story is devoid of satire or meaning.
There is no meaning placed on any characters, calling them edgy and then not describing them as such is not clever, self defeating your own story at every turn is not clever, earnestly telling a bad story is not clever.

The one, single note of the entire story could be summed up as:
>k-pop idol human bard named yuki yuki lovefire creates thrall herd
Not since "No Fading of the Cries" have I seen a mediocre, played out concept with a mildly clever twist so entirely devastated by poor execution that it is only worthy to be used as an example to others on what *not* to do.

Your story is shit.
It is a pointless, waste of time for you to have written it, any attempt to justify the writing of it is doomed, and the whole exercise can only bring misery to anyone with any level of taste.
The only quality anyone can ascribe to it is what the reader projects onto it themselves because the core concept was empty from the start.

I know what I am talking about.
I am a fucking expert on this.
I wrote Tale of Allendo.

No OP. You added no sense of realism, no counterpoint to the whole thing.

You're allowed three nat 20's per story, usually for 3.5 confirmation rolls.

We might have been able to discount it if you had used extremely high performance or persuasion rolls using 5e expertise or some other ridiculous skill bonus. Veeky Forums likes party face and skill monkey stories.

Here, everyone else, something to get the bad taste out of your mouth.

That spoiler

too much nat 20s
I mean, that CAN happen, but still

How could it be good when it's already retarded as fuck

>person who hasn't played any tabletop games ever writes a story about how they totally played tabletop games super well

Some mad anons in this thread
wew

I'm not lying, but I'm not sure what to say to continue.

I'm not ashamed.
Okay, I'm not *that* ashamed.
An attempt was made to retry a horrible story done in a less horrible way.
Some stones will never polish into diamonds or even a pretty polished stone.
But I tried something.
Failure happens.
I've done better.
I've done worse.

Why does Veeky Forums hate "NAT 20" stories so much?

Play Shadowrun. A K-Pop idol is a valid charachter there.

1. Because new Veeky Forums is full of HATE
2. Because if the entire story boils down to: "And I randomly succeeded by the maximum amount.", then it's not a very good story.
3. Too many of them stupidly suspend all accounting for rules or reason because a magical 5% chance occurred.

If the story can be told without the die roll, then it might be better than the average NAT 20 story.

>Nat 20 spam
>'perfect dexterity and charisma' as if thats a thing in d&d
>gets leadership without taking leadership, DM lets this happen
>ebin things happen that the DM hasn't been able to do anything about because he has no agency

i don't know guys this one sounds like a lie

can't imagine why i think that

There's nothing that makes a fake story more obviously fake than when the teller just so happens to roll a nat 20 at a critical moment. It's the "everyone on the bus stood up and clapped" of tabletop stories.

Because they're awful and not funny in any way, shape, or form?

The story is shit,but you're a faggot:
>Make an attention-stealing spotlight-whore of a character
If entire party consists of generic ,characterless and retard members then it's not even a sin.And I'm not even talking about "If they can't overcome me then they doesn't deserve their minute of fame"-tier Nietzsche stuff,it's literally a necessity in order to save a roleplaying game from turning into a dungeon crawler.
>c) goes directly against their alignment of "good" by taking control of numerous undead/becoming a necromancer, manipulating and sending innocent bumfuck farmers to their deaths, and even going so far as to kill their own party member, a fucking holy paladin
a)Alignments are bullshit as they are and you know what come after "you didn't played your aliment" posts

b)"Evilness" of necromancy is completely based on dm setting

c)paladins are not automatically good guys neither are they always right.
>a) goes directly against the party's desires, plans, and wishes, and practically warps the game to be around her
>b) go completely against the tone, mood, and setting of the game/party, and, I really cannot goddamn stress this enough, warp the game to be around you and your shit character for at least an entire month
Never stopped anyone and never was an issue

The story is fake*

>Because new Veeky Forums is full of HATE
You're fucking lying to yourself if you think this is a thing.

Shit as in fiction

no no

its both

its fake and shit.

>it's full of newfags uncomfortableness

...

There was a point were I knew this was not true but kept reading because it was good for a giggle thanks op,

>IMPLYING IT WAS EVEN GOOD FOR A GIGGLE

fuck off op

>You're fucking lying to yourself if you think this is a thing.
Meh
I've seen what used to be lighthearted joke threads filled with vitriolic fury usually reserved for edition or system wars.
I can't claim the hate is new.
It just seems like being hateful resentful pricks went from being " a thing that is" to being "the cool thing to do".
I'm not emotionally invested in the idea, it is just an observation.

>it was good for a giggle
[citation required]

No, seriously.
Cite what you giggled at.
I'm legitimately curious.

He's probably one of those morons who thinks nat 20/nat 1 memes on imgur are funny.

mostly love is on fire and her getting flung

>BADWRONGFUN IS THE WORSE
We get it you don't like people, stories, joy, happiness or fun, because TG is serious business.

t. either a newfag or Veeky ForumsisonlyboardIneedfag

>SHITBOX HATERS ARE SO FUNNY
Now ,seriously where the part with laugh track,I'm either too stupid or not stupid enough to understand where the funny part is

Another great night on Veeky Forums

>mostly love is on fire
I'm going to assume that's a reference of some sort.

>her getting flung
>Let's throw the Kpop star at the necromancer!
It's absurd. Fair enough.
I can't say that I would write it down, point to it, and say "This is funny.", but honestly not everything we giggle at is like that.
I recently watched a comedian end his show by placing his child's stuffed toy on his head and pretending it was normal.
The audience giggled.
So did I.

The story was still terrible.

>Veeky ForumsisonlyboardIneedfag
Represent!
But no seriously, I have almost never been to the other boards. And then, mostly /co/.
I briefly visited /b/ once.
It was almost as bad as Veeky Forums.

You're acting like op literally murdered someone. Maybe it's time to turn off the internet and go outside for once

>how I would have dealt with this as a DM
>wait for characters to become 4-5
>limit anything you do in the meantime
>roles nat20
>people clap and throw you 32 copper pieces in total
>once you're all level 5
>poison your character with the strongest poison in the DMG
>if it kills you it kills you and I'll make you have to start again at level 1
>if your new character is just as gay I'll make monsters focus you until you refuse to play with us
>if you survive the poison by a small amount i'll make it paralyze you and make the other memebers quest to get you cured. basicly forcing you to watch the others hav efun
>if you survive without taking much damage I'll just poison you again.

bring that shit to my party and you get fucked with .

The story was terrible, the character was shit, but being That DM is not an acceptable way to deal with That Guy. You can be better than this.

he murdered good comedy.

This.

OP, your story is shit.

I think it also involves acquiring a portfolio. As in, coming to embody (and be worshipped for embodying) something so much the portfolio switches over to you. Which the previous holder of it ain't gonna be too keen about. So its kinda easier to become a more localized or specialized deity. Though I think there's a chance you can also just end up becoming an aspect of a Greater Deity if you kinda hit a subservient portfolio.

Of course in FR you have the whole debacle with the Dead Three, but fuck that entire pantheon, Mystra is cancer and poisons everything she touches.

>Mystra is cancer

oh come on user she's not that bad, even if she got people to hate on the best deity for no reason

I usually don't even mind fake Veeky Forums stories but when you put THAT many obviously fake elements in it, it just doesn't work

OP is a fag

Pure worship doesn't let you become a god. You have to get divine rank first, THEN start getting worship.

The one that always triggers me is Critical/Automatic Successes on 20 on skillchecks in stories.

This.

If you can't tell your story without going into meta garbage you might as well shut up. Shit like this just breaks flow like nothing else.

Are you retarded or just entertained by retardation?

I think user just suffers from optimism.
After all, OP surely wouldn't start a story without it going somewhere good, right?

Don't worry. Prolonged exposure to Veeky Forums should eventually cure him of the affliction.

That never happened either, but I'd say one nat 20 at story apex (think Los Tiburon) is max for a short one like this. If you are storytieming a proper campaign, you of course get more fumbles and crits to be believable, because lots of them happen naturally.

I know, shit is so fucking stupid "and then I rolled 8 NAT 20s IN A ROW TO BLOW UP THE CAMPAIGN"

In my own games nat 20s tend to create more tense moments than resolve them, like when a minotaur skeleton crits and drops someone from full to 4 health in a single round. Honestly I kind of want to see enemies get more Nat 20s in these stories, it would really ramp up the tension

That DM

>how I would have dealt with this as a DM
>Talking to the player like an adult

As far as fake stories go this was the fake-iest story on Veeky Forums I have read in months.

Shame tho, I the premise of a J-POP Idol bard is the second best weeb thing after Battle Maids.

This is not how Nat 20s work in games
Here is an example for all you redditors posting stories on Veeky Forums looking for updoots
>party is 2 rogues and a shadowmonk with a healbot DMPC
>the shadow monk was really excited to make his character and spent all night reading the rules and optimizing his character
>Gave him a backstory and everything
>they enter a goblin dungeon
>they hear growling at the door to the dungeon and carefully proceed
>upon entering the party sees a dire wolf in rusted chains, resting with the door to his cage slightly ajar
>one of the party rogues sees the wolf in the cage exclaims "doggie!" and goes to roll animal handling
> 8 + 4 = 12
> he fails to charm the animal but succeeds in waking it up.
>the party monk goes to assist, rolling animal handling
>5 + 5
>The wolf rolls his bite attack
>NAT FUCKING 20
>the monk falls past 0
>the two rogues disengage and use hide as a bonus action
>the wolf feasts on the monk's dying body, forcing him to fail all 3 death saves

kek

I think the healbot is broken

Cringeworthy.

Sounds like a great party watching as one of their own gets eaten alive for 4 turns.

>rogues

yup