Playing a female tiefling bard in a 5e campaign I decided to join on a whim which also happens to be the first online...

That.. that is actually brilliant.
I was too caught up with being fucking dumbfounded to think of anything that good however.

Unbeknownst to anyone but the DM, apparently.

>I put up a bullshit excuse about having to go pick up my non-existant brother from a non-existant airport. Not sure what happened to my character after that, not sure I want to know, pretty sure I don't want to go back.

Should have done this after calling the DM out on their magical realm shit. Confrontation makes it super awkward for everyone. You essentially just gave them a fuck toy.

Honestly sounds pretty tame. Only time I ever felt violated was watching someone nearly get molested in an out of character.

I know, I fucked up. I just never thought I'd encounter that shit, who the fuck is prepared for that?

All of my RP has been done with a group of friends over the last 10 years, never thought I'd end up in a magical realm.

This is not the answer, this is never the answer.

Why is being a dick Veeky Forums's fetish.

>pretty sure

why even log into whatever website that was ever again?

Go NC, try to find a new group. Never play a girl character. I'm a woman irl and I almost never play females at all. Nothing that horrific has ever happened obviously but people treat you totally different, even irl with my friends and my husband the difference in the way people treat my male characters vs female ones in game is insane. Women are 'a thing to have sexual/romantic situations with' and men are 'people' to most gamer guys, unfortunately.

Worst thing is it makes romance/sex incredibly awkward and impossible to do even tactfully because they're such neckbeards about it. As a gurrrlgaamerrr I'd totally love to play a game with some romance but unless the group is more than half irl women/gay dudes it's nearly impossible.

Because Veeky Forums is frequented by meek nerds in real life so that's their only way of "getting back" at the ones who bully them most likely.

Never tolerate that shit. Being a pushover will get you nothing.

You know nothing about the GM and the group, just this one greentext from a random faggot.

Remember to report threads like these guys, they'll never stop unless we let the mods know

>Women are 'a thing to have sexual/romantic situations with' and men are 'people' to most gamer guys, unfortunately.
That's pretty fucking horrendous. I guess I've just been hella sheltered since my group of friends consists of pretty good roleplayers.

The reason I wanted to try roleplaying a female is because it would get me to evolve a bit as a roleplayer. Also the fact that I've never played anything but a male since it's much easier to relate to a character of your own gender.

>Never play a girl character
Can you think of any female character that won't be instantly put in the dogpile?
I wonder of playing a like 60 year old female druid would also get wrecked like my tiefling did.

Did you pop a boner? The fact that the dm was objectifying you and turning you into a cock bag

Magical realm threads aren't allowed?
If so then I really do apologize, I'm rarely on Veeky Forums and unaware if it's been ruled to not be allowed.

Just needed to vent really since I just can't get my head around what happened.

It's an online game. It doesn't matter. Burn the bridge and the island and the people.

No it was more like a flash of intense anger and disbelief, followed by a sinking feeling in my gut and my faith in humanity slipping further down into the abyss.

Kind of hot though if you're into that. Now I want to make a female character purely so that will happen

I mean shit man, I won't fault you if it's what you enjoy, just make sure that all the parties involved are into it.

I wasn't and it was a shitty experience.

>implying you ever had faith in humanity if you can lose it so easily

You got me user, I never had much faith for humanity.

You know what's against the rules? Posting about how you're going to report a thread. Know what isn't? Making a thread where you discuss what happened in a traditional game.

Lighten up, you fat fuck, it was funny. Stop waifuing your female characters, especially if you make them "on a whim", and you'll have a better time.

"no"

...

>"As a reaction, i cast Hellish Rebuke"

Then log the fuck out.

>It's an online game.
Exactly. If you were dealing with these people at a table top, this shit wouldn't (or very rarely) happen. Online is filled with shits and loli-fags and faggots, and other undesirable people. The worst they do is yell at you with caplocks and try to make you feel shitty. Fuck em, because OP(and in a sense, all of us) can find better.

I'm being 100% sincere. It's not like the orc pinned her down and started raping her. It's equivalent to a male character's foot slipping off a branch and him landing on the branch balls-first and having to roll not to pass out. If slapstick is acceptable for men, then so is accidental orc dick in the mouth for women. Not everything is muh magical realm or muh unspeakable violation.

Addendum: if you expected a serious campaign with no "silly" fumbles or whatever, then, yes, I'd expect you'd want to leave, and that's fine. But something tells me you'd've been a lot calmer if it was a male character hitting his balls on a branch or the end of the orc's club or whatever.

This doesn't work because suddenly giving a blowjob is not the equivalent of slapstick. Change the character from a woman to a man and it'd still be a "what the hell DM" moment.

It absolutely is the equivalent. Men are biologically geared for violence and physicality, and women for sexuality, and those are just comedic manifestations of same. Your "change the character" argument is the one that isn't equivalent; to be equivalent, the female character would have to have been hit in the gut, with specific mention given to possible ovarian or uterine damage. Obviously not as funny.

>Reasons why user doesn't have a girlfriend

>Reasons why user doesn't have a girlfriend
Sounds like the title of a really shitty made-for-tv romcom. Not that this post really adds to the conversation here.

>I have no argument, so I'll resort to libel
Nice try. Truth is, not every woman out there is so lacking in self-awareness that they don't understand how the sexes differ in biology, psychology, and culture, or so humorless that they don't see the fun in sexual jokes.

>>apparently I slipped when I tried to kick off of the nearby tree and ended up deepthroating the orc
I'm in an actual ERP and nothing this silly has come up.

OP here, went to get some food, not sure if I should've expected more serious replies or not.

A bit less furious now that I got some food atleast, so that's something.

Guessing it is more deliberate in ERP? I mean that usually means that all parties are in on it and all that.

>The DM rapes your character so he can jack off under the table
>Calling him out for being a sicko is being a dick
Go fuck yourself.

I feel for you OP. I really do.
I've been where you have been.
Almost lost my love for this hobby.
DM had it out for me from the beginning

>Rolled a male Human Paladin first
>DM killed my mount, and then me
>Rolled up male Dwarf Fighter
>Traveled to town with group
>DM states my horse dies from exhaustion.
>Thisisbullshit.jpg
>Group's given quest by NPC
>Have to check out abandoned building
>Find a single clue inside; but ambushed
>Several bandits, and warlock in building
>Dwarf is targeted by all enemies, and killed.
>Roll up Gnome Bard, because fuck it.
>Warrior hits on princess of some snow tribe
>Warrior in our party fails hard core
>Gnome Bard sings a tale of his mighty deeds
>Roll a 25 on my performance skill
>Princess is impressed with song, and deeds
>Warrior & Bard become best of m8's
>DM has princess fall for me instead
>Warrior gets pissed off at me for some reason
>Tell Warrior that he has no interest in her
>Warrior hate me, and not DM for this shit
>Princess invites me into her chambers
>Politely turn down her advances
>Try and convince her to woo warrior instead
>Forced to go into chambers by royal decree
>I'm surrounded by her chamber guards
>Forced to eat shit as princess watches
>Princess has a bone club as weapon
>Mortified my Gnome is analy raped by club
>Me & 60 year old veteran gamer flip our shit
>Tell DM to fuck off, and leave the game.

If you're going to have any characters, male or female, fumble into accidental orcish blowjobs, that's something that shouldn't really come out of the blue. If the DM is running a fairly standard campaign, and then says 'y-you get impaled on the orc's c-cock, hehe," that's some shit he should keep in his pants.

Jesus fuck, I hope this is fake, although I have a sinking feeling it's probably not.

>gets wrecked
>>m-muh logical fallacies
>>that's libel
Reasons vol. 2

Look, somebody could choke on a dick in a variety of situations. It could be funny. Preferably (seriously preferably) toned down, but funny. This is not a situation of this kind. No subtlety, just generating wank material on the fly. Also it used the same reasoning as stuff like "le natural 1 you broke your spine :DDD".

All in all, shit tier DMing.

It's sadly not fake, and the truth.

I've experienced bad games prior. Having to deal with control freak DM's, and players. Once had a player tell another player to fuck themselves with a cactus. However, the campaign I just mentioned is the one that took the wind out of my sails.

The really messed up, and sad thing about this all...with the exception of the veteran player, and myself the other players including DM were in their mid to late 30's.

Yes, I mentioned that here: I recognize that comedic elements don't belong everywhere. But OP picked up the game, as he said, "on a whim", and you have to be prepared for things not to have gone the way you expected and be calm about it, not flip out and have a panic attack or something.

I'm not pointing out any logical fallacies; I just pointed out the lack of argument in your post. Anyway, I'm not trying to be dramatic; "libel" is just the best word I could think of because "Ackshually, I do have a girlfriend" is one of those things you can't say on Veeky Forums without making a fool of yourself no matter what.

OP didn't include how the DM phrased it, and I suppose a proper judgment would be contingent on it: if he put it forth as any other joke, or if he was perceptibly getting hot and bothered. I just wanted everyone freaking out to entertain the idea that not everything has to be borne of malice.

Got the post links in the first part mixed up.

OP here, it was less of a joking manner and more of a "let's include details about how much drool there are".

I don't think most jokes tend to include a lot of details on what's actually happening.

>getting hit in the dick is the same as having a dick forced into your mouth
What the fuck, dude?

>women are biologically designed to randomly deepthroat orcs and it's unrealistic not to depict that.

Jeez dude, I hope your potentially-real girlfriend sees what you say about women when she's not around.

>you have to be prepared for things not to have gone the way you expected and be calm about it, not flip out and have a panic attack or something.

Also to elaborate on this, the party and DM seemed to be just normal people when talking to them before I joined. I did go "fuck it, let's try it" but it doesn't mean that I got any form of red flags from talking to any participants beforehand.

And it was more like outrage, since everything had been going fine before that event, which really caught me offguard and ruined the pretty decent time I was having.

Excuse me for not elaborating that much but I hit the max characters in the post and just got the essentials, or so I thought atleast.

I stand corrected, then. Good luck finding better games in future.

Neither are pleasant, but both (in the scenario I outlined) would have been the result of a personal failure, and neither are likely to cause lasting damage.

I'm not saying that, just like I'm not saying that men are biologically designed to take hits in the nuts, and I'm explicitly not saying it's "realistic". So I'm not sure where you're getting all these words from, but it certainly wasn't my posts.

Thanks, I'll probably be a lot more wary in regards to choosing games in the future.

I'll still give online gaming a few more shots since hopefully this was just a one time type of thing.

Of course neither are pleasant, but they're on different scales of "not pleasant."

There's nothing sexual about getting hit in the balls. A dick in the mouth is something completely different. If the DM is clearly in the wrong here. And having the orc hold her down only makes it worse.

Tripping and getting hit in the dick is a thing that can actually feasibly happen if you're clumsy/distracted. Tripping and deepthroating somebody by accident literally does not ever happen outside of slapstick cartoons and bad anime.

Jesus Christ.

>Reasons why user is not allowed within 100yards of a Middle school

I shouldn't have to tell you this, but getting hit in the balls is sexual to some people. I tried to go for the closest analogy along the reasoning I outlined, so one was sexual with a somewhat violent aspect, and one was violent with a possible sexual aspect.

Right, they're not equally rare, but narratively they're similar: you wouldn't feature a character tripping and getting hit in the nuts outside of a slapstick scene, either, even if it would have been physically plausible.

No greentext story but i'm getting burnt out on a party that just plays classes and not characters, it's like being in a group of play testers, no matter how many prompts the GM throws out nobody bites.

Hey, you leave my latent pedophilic urges out of this!

>Guessing it is more deliberate in ERP?
I mean nobody ever fell on a dick, we just generally head back to a room/under the stars or whatever.

Its pretty pathetic at this point how far you're stretching the limits of logic just for the sake of being contrarian. Fuck off already.

I feel you OP.

Last time I joined an already going online group the DM told me he "already rolled a character for me" and I thought: "What could go wrong?" I still regret it.

Best at this point is to leave with some bullshit excuse or just tell him how disgusted you are.

Yeah, figured as much.
Just a random question since I haven't really talked to anyone who does ERP, I'm guessing there's more to it than just aiming to get your rocks off that motivates one to ERP?

Why get mad? Really, honestly, stop and think about why you feel this way. Is it that infuriating to suggest that women are fair game for comedy?

Well I've had some pretty great faps out of it, but I do actually care about the plot.

Fair enough, thanks for answering. I mean sure it probably differs a lot from person to person but it's nice to get an opinion about it from someone who actively engages in it.

I'm not reading anybody here as mad, just dumbfounded that you honestly believe the two situations are even remotely comparable.

I've outlined my reasoning as to why they're similar. All you've done is assert they're not

>Implying I'm the same person
Your reasoning is unconvincing, bro.

Oh, gosh. I don't understand how I could possibly have mixed up a post by "Anonymous" with all these other posts by "Anonymous".

Just pretend I meant "you" in the plural form, man.

Yeah, right man, I get it, hilarious. Too bad my furious callousness eclipsed your peerless reasoning and keen sense of humor regarding slapstick, gender relationships, and raping player characters in a roleplaying game.
Kill yourself.

If an accident resulting in the taste of orc dick, adjudicated by the DM, is raping a player character, is a purposeful attack resulting in a sucking chest wound also attempted murder of a player character? Why do you even play, then?

>I don't understand how I could possibly have mixed up a post by "Anonymous" with all these other posts by "Anonymous".
Probably by using basic pattern recognition to distinguish between different styles of phrasing used by different posters.

I suppose, but I'm too busy jacking off to loli doujinshi ever since that other guy reminded me why I'm not allowed near middle schools.

Your PC getting murdered is part of the basic game mechanics (hit points). Getting impaled on orc cock really isn't ("roll for dick circumference, hang on, let me check that against the orc penis size chart").

>I shouldn't have to tell you this, but getting hit in the balls is sexual to some people.
I shouldn't have to tell you this, but literally everything is sexual to some people. But the fact use some people have amputee fetishes doesn't mean someone getting a hand hacked off is innately sexual.

Fine. What about people slandering or printing libel about player characters? Player characters being burgled or robbed? Player characters being defrauded? Player characters being passed forged documents or counterfeited money? Player characters' families being assaulted offscreen? Player characters being drugged and abducted?

And the fact that some people like seeing orc dicks doesn't mean orc dick can't be used for comedy value. (Granted, I did happen to be wrong in this case.)

I think you should try it again but it's tough. If you're remotely attractive or flirty or romantic or sexual in *any* way you're instantly an object. No bards, for example.

Once I was playing a female character in a Werewolf: Dark Ages game. So, I go to Church to meet the Priest. Like, Catholic Priest in German Dark Ages. Right? So I said something like, "I wear a nice dress." So we end up having lunch (I think with a few other people?) and afterwards the dm is like, fucking giggling and has this priest make a pass at me? And I'm like...what? and he's like, you were trying to seduce him and it worked. So I said no...I was trying to be polite. He says then why did you wear a slutty dress.

I never said it was slutty. I said it was nice. Like, for mass. He just pictured it slutty. :|
So uh, anyway there aren't a lot of options. Try gross? I once played like a wood elf barbarian chick in 5th ed and I was just tough and didn't do anything feminine... idk, nobody bothered me. But this is one of the later games so maybe they all just matured. Who fuckin knows. Sorry, good luck. I hope you figure it out, that really sucks that that happened to you and you have every right to be totally skeeved and feel violated.

But really, don't even give that guy the bonus fap by replying to anything. Delete, block, unsubscribe... find a new game and try again. Sounds like you did everything right.

If I can find a good group to play with over more than one campaign, starting off on a very unfeminine character might give me a leeway to eventually play a more feminine one without being overly sexualized at any given opportunity. Granted, it is the long con of long cons, but it's either that or just try and try again until I find a group that has encountered females in their lives before.

And I've cut any ties I had to the game in question, just couldn't deal with that shit. Incredibly immersion breaking and just infuriating.

Thanks for your input, I'll see what I can do and I'll try to find a decent game.

Rape is obviously different, and that's not even what happened. If you were playing a game with a dark tone and realism and shit and something like that happened in a more tasteful way and it had repercussions it wouldn't be nearly as horrific. Not to go full trigger warning but it really should be on the tin.

If you can't understand why it's not ok for a DM to do this you might have serious problems. Please be aware that most people are not ok with it, and if you intend to have it in your games put it in the description so that people are aware. I am simply telling you this because I'm sure you don't want to surprise anyone- obviously you think this is good hearted fun and only want to have funny jokes. You aren't trying to offend anyone deliberately, right?

sounds HOT
what happened next?

Good luck man. Like I said, my irl game group of friends who aren't even the worst of the neckbeards I've met *still* have the problem where they think female characters require some fucking response of that kind. I mean not every PC gets it (usually my husband dms so that's mostly avoided) but there are comments like 'seduce the guard' sometimes, and they treat every female npc as a possible lay etc etc

I flipped my shit and left the game.

My group that I play with that consists of just old friends are pretty notorious to just go an entirely different direction when it comes to potential romance or female interaction in a campaign now that I think about it.

I'm not sure if it's just something we're trying to avoid because we've all heard of the awkward shit that might ensue with that or that we're too murderhobo-y to bother.

Granted, I did once as a male character actually seduce a male guard. But mostly due to the circumstances that we've heard rumors of him being homosexual and our rogue was locked in a dungeon, hence the party face(me) having to get a way in.
But that's about as far as we've ever gone in a campaign with any of that.

Or maybe we're just dead inside, that's a possibility aswell.

The only thing that's as bad as getting raped in the mouth is getting raped in the mouth. I've been hit in the balls scores of times, and I still don't want to get raped in the mouth. That's an absurd comparison.

Man, sometimes you've just gotta cut your losses. Dwellers don't understand social norms, that's why they're dwellers.

To elaborate, I lured the guard around the corner and blasted him with a sleep spell.

>That's an absurd comparison.
Why?

You can't roleplay around that kind of stuff; it's not a matter of skill. Your time is better spent putting in the time to find a group that has attitudes that you do find acceptable.

>put it in the description so that people are aware
That's fair enough, and I do agree, but I'd say on the flip side that if you go around earnestly expecting never to have any surprises, especially if you're sensitive about particular topics, you're being entirely too optimistic and unguarded for the internet. In a word, you'll hurt yourself.

I'm not talking in real-life terms, but from a comedic and narrative frame of reference. In real life, they're both quite liable to cause lasting damage, but in real life the circumstances are vastly different.

See that's what's so disappointing. You either get awkward fucking weird comments always directed towards targets that don't make sense *or* literally 0 romance.

Currently playing with a few online friends. Players are my bff and another friend (so all girls) and the DM is the friend's husband, so nothing too disgusting. The friend is a sort of slutty bard, so far the only one to do any serious romance/sex stuff and it was ...mostly tasteful or funny, basically. DM is her husband so it's not like... uncomfortable?

My character is a guy too and needed to get the bard to do something so I was able to try some seduction on him (bard has made it clear he's dtf) and since we're both girls it was like.. not even weird? Just played totally normal and no drama or awkward or gross... idk, it was kind of cool to play in a game where love and sex exist normally without making everyone uncomfortable.

>You can't roleplay around that kind of stuff; it's not a matter of skill. Your time is better spent putting in the time to find a group that has attitudes that you do find acceptable.

I am fairly positive that you are right in that. I am however a massive idiot that is one part stubborn and two parts gullible for always assuming the best about people.

Our Barbarian and Paladin are the most super serious dude-bros ever who love to turn everything sexual in hypothetical scenarios while they get wasted, the DM laughs at it and gives hypothetical scenarios but it's very clearly established it never happens.

One day both dudebros are fucking drunk and the Barbarian decides he'll sleep in the same room as the Paladin, which the Paladin didn't notice since he was texting his wife.

DM jokingly suggested the Paladin was going to get raped which led to the Paladin assuming he was actually being raped by the Barbarian, thus saying he'd counter-rape the Barbarian. DM allowed the misunderstanding and asked him to roll strength contest.

Barbarian tried to explain but the DM kept interrupting him. Barbarian lost the strength contest.

The Barbarian legitimately left the table and called everyone faggots as the DM described in vivid detail the Paladin raping him.

>it was kind of cool to play in a game where love and sex exist normally without making everyone uncomfortable.
Yeah, that's a fair point.
It's a bit hard to pin point exactly why my group never really touches the subject. I suppose that we've subconsciously made the decision that our characters are "above" that whole thing despite definitely roleplaying them like ordinary people.
I guess it also has to do with just how comfortable one is with sexual stuff in general.

>barbarian's fw

Do you ever DM? It's tough to introduce but if they're dudes who play dudes you could try introducing an eligible female npc. Though that leads to the 'girl npcs are for fuckin' issue I complained about anyway. But maybe they will court her, who knows.

Having npcs be in a relationship can help I think. I ran a game once where there was a princess who got married very early on, to 'one of the bad guys' so their relationship was pretty relevant.

But I think it's just hard to get guys to think about romance and sexuality in that way with fiction. There's a reason why stereotypes exist right? Girls read Jane Austen, guys watch MMA fights.