/5eg/ D&D Fifth Edition General: Shitposting-Autists-find-love Edition

Does anyone have any experience in using the Retainers feature from the Noble background, especially in Adventurers League? I want to play an exiled king that still has a few loyal servants left. I want one guy to announce my title whenever I enter a town or building but I'm struggling to find things to do for the other two. I also don't want to saddle the DM with three extra NPC's he must play at all times.

>Speaking of autism, what are some of the worst failed munchkin attempts you've seen in play?

>Playing 5e with a new'ish player
>Player spends like a week theorycrafting before we play
>Gets it stuck in his head the rogue's sneak attack damage is absurdly high
>Doesn't seem to realize that a d6 on average is only like 3.5 damage
>We start playing
>Rogue player is doing less damage than the fighter
>Rogue player whines and bitches because he doesn't understand he's a skill monkey
>Rogue player picked his skill profieciences at random and doesn't even use them
>Keeps begging the DM to increase sneak-attack dice to d10s until everyone gets sick of him whining
>Doesn't get invited to sessions anymore, everyone lies and says we quit playing.

this

You mean True Polymorph

This guy will be your majordomo and will also take care of your bussineses and make arrangments. Second person would be your personal maid because you need someone to take care of stuff like cooking, cleaning and washing. Last one would be stablemaster because if you dont have a horse you should go die of shame

homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/

This one?

any good character builder app or sites?

I need to create a trait for a ratfolk race that has gone mad. Shit like advantage in wisdom saving throws, or something like that. any ideas?

barefoot monk uses hands and feet to throw missle weapons.Searing Arc strike is the bomb

>New player gets the wrong idea about what a class can do.
>Nobody corrects him or helps him out.
>New player isn't having fun in game because he made his character wrong because nobody helped him.
>Other players are surprised when the new player complains.
>Other players, instead of talking to the new player, abandon him for not having their expertise in the game, and lie about the game still going.

You and your group sound like a bunch of childish assholes, if you don't have the balls or the social skills to talk to someone about something that bothers you this hobby is clearly not for you. The one good part of this story is the fact that the new guy hopefully no longer has to put up with you and your group's autism.

Are there any stats for the giant princesses and Imyrith from SKT?

Alas, my noble horse is still in its stable or being ridden by the usurper who took my throne.

I like the maid and majordomo though. Would he announce my titles or should I have a separate herald or something?

No. This isn't 3.pf. You don't get mechanical benefit for your special snowflake character.

Character traits (and bond and flaw) are for RP. They don't do anything mechanically.

>Gun artificer

Dip into an archery battlemaster with it and enjoy your self.

2 party followes

young village girl who cooks, knits, forages, and doe the laundry for you.

young accountant boy who does your paper work, and manage your assets

they fall in love.

Is the fighter the only class that gets 7 ASIs?

I roll to seduce both.

If someone is being a whiny little shit instead of talking with anyone in the group like an adult, they sorta of deserve it when everyone wants to ditch them.

I love when people who don't play games sit back and criticize people who do.

Text games don't count.

The wording on the Gunsmith is kinda weird,

Better wording imo would be:

Beginning at 3rd level, you learn to channel thunder energy into your Thunder Cannon. Once per turn, you can make a special attack with your Thunder Cannon that deals an extra 1d6 thunder damage on a hit.
The amount of extra damage increases as you gain levels in this class: 5th level (2d6), 7th level (3d6), 9th level (4d6), 11th level (5d6), 13th level (6d6), 15th level (7d6), 17th level (8d6), and 19th level (9d6).

This way you can still use extra attack via other means and not be fucked over because of the idiosyncratic wording.

Also, wouldn't it be more elegant to make the Thunder Cannon into a weapon option with loading? And then tie the special attacks into a bonus action to activate?

Thunder Cannon - N/A - 2D6 Piercing - 18 lb - Ammunition (range 150/500), loading, two handed

I'm a fighter. I wield a shortsword in one hand and a shield in the offhand. If I sheathe my shortsword and draw my hand crossbow, what kind of action is that, and does it provoke an AOO?
Thanks for advice, I'm new to 5e from PF.

As an action, they can sense the presence of precious metals, precious stones and gems within 50ft of themselves.

Object interaction to sheathe. Since you only get 1 free object interaction per round, you would have to use action to draw your hand crossbow.

A better way would be to drop your shortsword (no action or interaction require) and draw your crossbow with free object interaction.

No, it doesn't provoke OA (neither does casting in this game)

They don't want you to use extra attack. That's the freaking point.

I think you misunderstood there, friendo. Rat user seems to be making a homebrew race, but is having trouble thinking up racial traits, which are the mechanical features of a race, and not to be confused with the "personality trait" roleplaying suggestions from Backgrounds.

Consider

Go eldritch knight so you can summon a weapon into your hand as a bonus action.
Or dip into thief and get the fast hands feature.

According to DMG, Ratfolk is just a refluff halfling

You realize that's a suggestion, not an official ruling, right?

As I attempted to say before, consider Reading Comprehension. You seem to lack that skill.

Yeah no need for separate guy though you might not wanna announce you are a exiled king unless you want assassins on your ass.
How about the third guy would be your Guard Captain, gravely injured protecting you in your escape and now unable to be next to you in your heroics deeds. He will still do what he can to keep your other servents safe and look for good people willing to take arms in your name.

Yeah. Just go back to your special snowflake section in DandDwiki or something.

I see, thanks. I'll probably do something else then, I'm not about to drop my magical sword right in front of enemies.
I'm already going Eldritch Knight. I'll just switch my second cantrip over to something ranged instead of bothering with the crossbow.

>only going by the rules and not creating in a game about your imagination

You can only be creative with guidelines? No free-form thinking?

Under most circumstances, it's a bit of a demeaning task to give your steward, since he's basically the most important guy in the household who isn't of noble blood.

Normally the guy who introduces you and announces your titles at court would be a servant of the court you're visiting, not a servant of your own, although it's not outside the realm of plausibility for you to have a dedicated herald if you're sufficiently important.

You can't use extra attacks on the gun either way. It will either have loading or you need to use a bonus attack to attack with it.

However you could still attack with another weapon. And the class doesn't offer multi attack itself, so you'd need to multiclass for it anyway .

>he doesn't want to be a mystic
>he doesn't want to have powers over THE COSMOS, OF COURSE

my monk has a dash movement of 110 feet. how fast that exactly in meters per second?

5 meter per second? I think.

D&D is a play pretend with guideline brah.
Without guideline we would delve into a childish argument about whose god mode is better.

1 round is 10 seconds right?

110 feet is 30.48 meters

30.48/10= 3 meters per second.

its 6 seconds actually

Sorry correction, 1 round is 6 seconds (10 rounds in a minute)

so 30.48/6 is indeed 5 meters like said.

How is Assassin 3/Gunsmith X?

>3 meters per second
>100 in 33seconds
Isn't that pretty fucking slow? I'm out of shape office drone and can do 30.

Thanks for all the input! I think I'm dropping the majordomo idea and go with a less important servant and I'll probably combine the village girl and maid ideas.

It isn't as fast as an olympic runner, no. But think of those guys as dedicated builds, all their features and actions are about running. He's a monk who can run 110 feet while still doing something else with his bonus action.

so thats what 18? 20kmh? Usain Bolts world record was 44 km/h. So your super magical monk that have trained all his live is slower than a guy from Jamaica

They do the bonus action thing to make the weapon more unwieldly, ergo you can't use bonus actions with it

Well Usain Bolt probably can't use ki so you win some, you lose some

>a guy from Jamaica.

You mean a legendary athlete?

20 km per hour seems kinda slow though. But we always play with squares and 22 squares a round is quite a lot. I think you'd need to compare it to other classes. By default you only move a maximum of 30/60 foot. 110 is almost twice that, which in my opinion simulates the speed of a monk quite well.

>>Star a 3.5 game with friends from my college
>>One guy insist he has an awesome broken op grappler
>>Doesnt realize that you cant grapple pin and attack with an off-hand weapon all in one turn
>>I didnt either for the fist session
>>Still realize he couldnt grapple anything after a level or two and that Reaping Mauler that class he wants sucks shit
>>He actually mentions his 18 Str in character and ends up coming off as a creepy greased up muscleman that wants to wrestle everyone

I wouldnt have minded so much but the blatant insistence that he was "OP as fuck" in a 3.5 game was kind of mind boggling

You cannot load your hand crossbow if you have a shield in your other hand.

a paladin or bard with find steed can move 120ft per round and still attack twice/have bonus action

your point?

>people still doing the your dash speed is your sprint speed in optimal conditions meme
Just no.

Unless you have crossbow expert as a feat. At least RAW

Yet another reason for me to go for the damage cantrip instead.
My DM would let me load it with my shield hand though, as long as I don't abuse it. Shield on straps, so the hand is technically free, and I'd only be using the crossbow at range anyway.

Not by RAW as per errata.

5e works under the assumption that shields on straps doesn't work, because it doesn't work. Still, if your DM lets you have a shield without occupying any hands, then go ahead, no reason not to wear a shield.

He wouldn't let me reload without losing the shield bonus while I use the hand for anything other than actively reloading, but yeah. Oh well, I'm dropping the crossbow anyway.

Yes. Rogue gets some extra ones but not as many.

>Not by RAW as per errata
That's a shame, way to make hand crossbows literally worse than light crossbows in every way. No use having a one-handed ranged weapon if you have to have the other hand free anyway.

That alone makes Fighter the most interesting Martial for me. Especially with the now increasing amount of subclass options.

I think hand crossbows are intended to be wielable with a light combat weapon alongside them. A swashbuckler with a scimitar+hand crossbow sounds pretty fun to me.

Well, okay, technically with training in real life you could have a strapped shield and take your hand off for a moment to load the crossbow, but that wouldn't work once you have to actually start using the shield. You only have to stop using your weapon and put your hand back on to resume using the shield. This is where we leave realism and it gets to the 'don/doff shield 1 action' rule - it should honestly take less than an action, but it's there for balance purposes.
A shield in front of you for cover would work, however.

If you want the reason why you can't use strapped shields without your hand on the shield, it's because you can't actually move the shield, which makes it more like a piece of armour strapped to your arm than anything.

Just remember, I'll be here, lurking, watching for whenever anybody even hints they might be making a mistake that happens to be proved wrong by a tiny bit of text somewhere on the internet that isn't even in the main book which is official anyway.

They're only useful for crossbow mastery, in which case they're great. Bonus action to fire again.

The light property has no use, and not being two handed does slings and light crsosbows almost literally no good whatsoever except that if it's already loaded you can hold something in the other hand.

Shield+handcrossbow+crossbow mastery + sharpshooter would be too powerful, but maybe if you got a shield that functioned only as cover but not for melee

Ok I'd like to say I love the new UA, but what's the deal with mechanical servant? They made such a huge fuss with balancing out the beast master ranger between the first useless iteration followed by the slightly better revised one, and then they just go right on and slap in animal companion straight outta 3.5 but it's a robot? What on earth are they smoking in wotc headquarters? Not only can you make a CR 2 creature complete with multiattack it also gets extra attacks if something hits you? I get the classic artificer trope of giving them a golem or something but that's a bit too far. They're gonna need to tone that shit down or just remove it.

But per errata you'd need to drop your scimitar every time you reload.

Fire it once and run into melee. Kinda like how people used single shot pistols historically.

Which is shitty and lame since if you've spent a feat on it.

I'd be pretty lenient as a GM desu. A hand crossbow only has a D6 damage dice. And dual wielding hand crossbows, or other stuff would be pretty cool. Only if they've spent the feat on it though.

>having a good time adventuring with your lower level party
>something feels wrong
>like something is following you
>turn around
>eyes lock with the stalking foe
>it's a Medusa

Yes, they're riding a horse while you're still discount wuxia.

Absolutely, even strapped shields had a handle you needed to hold for the shield to be of any use. But the straps mean you can take your hand off the shield for a moment, use the hand, and then return to the shield. Or, if you take a blown so hard you would have dropped the shield, the straps keep it on you and working.
As long as I wasn't exploiting it, my GM wouldn't mind letting me reload the crossbow with the shield hand, and a board and sword STR fighter tossing off some 1d6+Dex damage at range to plink the dragon wouldn't be exploity to him.

I'd honestly nerf it a bit, but there's no neat and clean way to do so.

Likely something involving using your proficiency modifier instead for everything and getting a flat -5 to hit, but it's still a pain to have another creature on the initiative, especially if it's always rolling low to-hit chance attacks. And it might still invoke saves or try to grapple or something.

Eh, I guess so. It's probably worse than javelins, but then you can't pull out lots of thrown weapons anyway. It's a shame you can't fight like that with thrown weapons, but I suppose it sort of makes sense..

With Loading quality, you can shoot twice per round with haste up.

Loading only prevent more than 1 attack per action. If you have 2 actions, you can attack on both.

What do you fa/tg/uys think of the Artificer?

It doesn't have loading, because it isn't a weapon under the weapons table. It's an item created by a class feature, only usable with another class feature. The class feature that lets you load it uses a bonus action to do so. The Loading quality means that loading is a part of your attack action, and it's only used on weapons. Thunder Cannon isn't technically a weapon, as it isn't in any weapon table.

Is that so overpowered? Being able to shoot twice with a 2D6 weapon? I'd still limit the special attacks to once a round as per sneak attack. Since the class also has no built in way to get multi attack.

I guess you'd need to take the Robot into consideration but as said it has it's own set of problems

If I had a shield on my arm, could I still cast spells with the shield hand? Our party cleric does this all the time. He has a hammer in his other hand so he can't use that for casting without sheathing it, which he doesn't, and he claims his holy symbol is painted on his shield.

Thematically, it makes perfect sense to me, but RAW, it shouldn't be possible to do a somatic component on a shield hand, right?

It's just unfair to rogue. There will be tons of rogue crying about how they can't use a finesse greatsword to sneak attack.

>drop sword
>grab hand crossbow
>put in shield hand because THE SHIELD IS STRAPPED TO YOUR FOREARM
>reload with free sword-arm

Maybe tone the servant/homunculus down a bit to be more like a familiar/assistant and then make a subclass focusing on constructs for the beefier version.

A friend of mine said monks shouldn't be a base class because they don't fit the theme. Is he right?

Doesn't work like that in 5e brah. All shield occupy your hand. Unless you want a decorative shield that doesn't come with +2 AC.

No. You can flavour the monk however you want, just like you can with the other classes. The monk can be a martial artist, and the paladin a samurai. The monk can also run around wielding a sword, a beer belly and a tonsure.

Shiled can be a holy symbol, so he can use it for material spells. Then in turn the rules say you can cast Sometric spells using the same hand as your holy symbol.
So if the spell has an M or an M and an S, he can do that. However, if the spell has only an S and no M, he can not.

This is an annoying rule to follow though, so most people just allow whatever.

It's not an errata, only clarification.

They didn't add any rule, just pointing about that people forgot that Crossbow expert doesn't get rid of "Ammunition" quality in weapon, and you need a free hand to use weapon with ammunition quality. "Loading" doesn't have anything to do with it.

Where is this errata? I've looked through the PHB errata from the mega archive, both for the feat and the weapon, but it never says anything about needing both hands to use a one-handed crossbow.

Absolutely. Paladins must be holy warriors of God, rogues must be thieves (and anyone who knows you're a rogue is distrustful of you), and monks must be philosophical weebs.

It never says that, though. All it says is that firing the weapon requires it to be loaded (the loading feature then says that loading is done as part of the attack, and if you have the feat it explicitly is no longer needed), and that firing the weapon consumes ammunition, which needs to be in your inventory.

dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/sageadvice_feats
The relevant part is that it does not remove the "ammunition" property.

dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/sageadvice_feats

>a supernatural, literally mystically fast man who has seen more shit and training than any Olympic athlete still runs slower despite massive boosts to his own speed
>lol itz aboud da bulde guyz
No. It's about D&D in general downplaying physical capabilities. We were told long ago that certain (not-even-capped-yet) Strength and Dex scores were analogous to Olympic athletes, the very peak of "normal" human physical ability, and that characters can achieve feats of prowess far beyond what real-world humans can achieve.

Yet they always run slower, jump shorter, and haul less. The difference in athletic ability between your 10 Str/Dex Wizard and a 20 Str, 14 Dex Fighter is, by the game's rules, fucking peanuts compared to real humans if we quantified those stats.

The physics rules in D&D are a joke. Not just from the perspective of replicating normal human ability, but especially when it comes to achieving the feats of fantastic strength and derring-do you read about in the stories (like Conan, Fafhrd, Barsoom) that D&D is specifically meant to emulate.

> To dig deeper into this point, take a look at the following sentence in the definition of the ammunition property: “Drawing the ammunition from a quiver, case, or other container is part of the attack.” The sentence tells us two important things. First, you’re assumed to be drawing—that is, extracting with your hand—the ammunition from a container. Second, the act of drawing the ammunition is included in the attack and therefore doesn’t require its own action and doesn’t use up your free interaction with an object on your turn.

I must admit I forgot that rogues don't get extra attack per default. Maybe the current design is fine then. They could still clean up the wording though to make it more in line with the default ways it's worded.

also the wording of the special attack should still be changed to match sneak attacks wording just for consistency desu