Mages Guild: Improper Teleportation Edition

Oh you're just saying that because I'm a damned 'knife ears' aren't ya?
>drinks upside down from a mug

C-certainly not your sister. No, not at all. Worse.

>It croaks again before jumping off into the void.

REPENT ELF FROM THE DEEPS! BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW FROGY OVERLORDS! ITS YOUR ONLY CHANCE!

IEEEEE! FOUL CAT DEMON! BEGONE!

>Cough
Uhhh yes, fiery frogs

NO! IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE DRESSING LIKE A TOTAL SLOOOOOOOOOOT

Who and when. Explain now.

Odd.

Okay, do you know how to do that?

An hour ago. You were born as a woman in that timeline.

Y,I, ah!
>groans
>clearly triggered

SINNERS GET OUT! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPENT

>turns the air around you into helium gas in a fit of upside down rage

Not if I eat them. Ever had frog legs?
Very delicious.
Yes, but it would take a couple weeks.
I would imagine it'd be easier to make a plague for frog spell.

>Is holding a slime-covered bag of chalk.

I don't know which of you is responsible for this. But fix it.

What? Why would I... She...

>Groans

Okay, why would anyone come on to you?

That's... Odd.

Probably.

>Shrugs
I've no idea. Probably Pierre.

I would imagine it would be one of my students.
Or else there are other people using slimes as pranks.
So, you necromancers should come up with a spell to get rid of the frogs with some research money pitched in from the other departments.

THEY HAD NO SURVIVING MAGI FROM EARLIER THAN THE FOURTH AGE, I WAS A CURIOSITY! WIELDING MY DIPLOMATIC CHARMS LIKE A FENCER'S GRACE! YOU WERE INSATIABLE! On top of that it makes our standing frenemyship rather uncomfortable.

Dear Diana, your bag got slimed.
Wait, what if there's a dire frog breeding in the old portal rooms?

>teleporting everywhere non stop
He..
Lll...
P m...
eeeeeeee!

I SAY WE KILL WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FROGS

Rolled 10 (1d20)

Wait, did I just here you say a chick was insatiably lusting after you?
Then make it so it affects dire frogs too! Or any frog!
Er, but not the frogfolk.
>Tries catching Solkan in an anchor slime which should anchor him in place and prevent him from teleporting
We can do that afterwards, Anonymo.
For now we need to figure out how to kill the frogs.

You said the magic word, 'money'

I'm always uncomfortable around you.

The portal room is thatway.
>Points

Yes, I can SEE that.

...

I am not opposed to this.

I mean what if all the invasive frogs are actually a result of a brood mother!
>holds arms out and brushes the floor
>is suspended upside down

>it fails to stop him, just slows him
What on..
Aen is..
Going on here?!

Not that I use the teleporters or portals all too often,
But this does seem troubling..

ugh, boring reaction. I was lying anyways, I got a few words out of Dominus Fortis, he was rather insistent on killing me. Few more visits and the customary resigned irritation should set in.

What if killing he who made the frogs removes the frogs from our portals. Diana Allard's bag is suspiciously slimy. Perhaps it is filled with FROGS.

I forgot why I hated meetings.
No, I didn't, that was a lie.

>His voice is hilariously high pitched, like a chipmuck
>He don't seem to notice
REPENT HARLOT!

D-DO NOT EAT YOUT DOOM! THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES!

IT IS NOT ODD! IT IS YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOM, FOUL WIZARD MOST....... FOUL!

You clearly have no idea how that man's brain works.

He'll just keep killing you until it sticks.

What? What's wrong?

I am not foul.

I say we get a potion to teleport all the frogs somewhere else.

...I know this is a dumb question but why are you upside down?
Especially in a skirt that short?

It's filled with chalk. To draw something to hopefully unfuck the portal network.

And here come the apologists. Tonight keeps getting better and better.

YOU CAN NOT KILL A GOD, POOR, DOOM-ED SOUL! REPENT! REEEEEEEEPENT!

ARE TOOOOOOOO!

Nice seeing you again today Veilhex!
Whats going on here?

Well, the other departments would have to agree.
And it shouldn't be a large amount. Just enough for the research to be made.
What? Do you have a better idea.
Then have it kill the brood mother as well!
It's magic, not rocket science!
And do you need help?
Hm, maybe a God is fucking with you?
Eh, not worth wasting time to figure that out.
Says who?

>makes their air around him stupid dense
I took one the teleports here.
>stands up, walking on air, hair nor skirt is falling down

>squints suspiciously
Is said chalk also able to put frogs INTO the portals?

I REPENT FOR NOTHING. YOU DO NOT KNOW MY TRUE IDENTITY

Please, I made the offer of me killing that mages guild. As a condition for returning his daughter. Looking at it for myself, the swap idea's out. Other means of ending the war however, need to be explored.

Glug, are you trying to eat the frogs?

Frogs.

I am not a bird!

That'd take a lot of potions.

Oh, no, they'll skim off so much funding.

He'd hate you, but he might take that deal.

Then try to double-cross you and kill you after he gets her back.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>Cast silence on the yelling doomsayer.

Not if we use the strongest potions!

Yeah well, good luck with that. Other potential alternatives including spiriting the whole family over here. Or at least your sister.

>Iris shrieks as shi floats across the room
Master Glug, help!

Working on one, yes!

...

I mean, chalk is just the medium for a mage to impose their ritualistic will. And right now THIS mage wants these frogs GONE.

You have something in mind, then?

I'd ask for some help, but the problem will be solved by the end of the meaning.
>takes a drink from a mug
Indeed.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

NO FAIR KNIGHT! DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THIER WICKED CHARMS! THE FROGS ARE A SIGN FROM GOD!

REPENT FIREY HAIRED HAG! YOU MUST REPENT TO BE SPARED THE FROGGY WRATH OF GOD!!

>Cough
Well I mean not rules per say but it goes aginst the spirit of the pluage, ya know? If you start eaten them then suddenly every average joe is going to start eaten them and suddenly it aint no plauge no more, is it? Nah, it's just a raining buffet. Can't have that now, got it?

>Its super dense now
>No idea what that does

I AM BUT A MAN BUT EVEN I CAN SEE THE FOUL MAGICS AROUND YOU! REPENT MAGE! REPENT FOR GOD DOES KNOW YOU AND HE IS VERY CROSS!!!!!!

YOU TOTALLY ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!!!!

>He whacks you with his doomsayer sign

>A frog lands on each of your shoulders
>They croak in tandem

RIBBI~T

Have we found the culprit?

>He takes this as a blessing

We go to a potion seller, and ask for his strongest potions.

...Hmm...

I wouldn't be averse to seeing her again...

They'd have to be really strong.

You did it, didn't you?

I think it was the Doomsayer

Ohhhh you are NOT ready for that.

Well then. I've found a brand new reason to hate meetings here.

DOOMSAYER!?
WAS THIS YOUR DOING

We're going into battle, and we require the strongest potions.

We'd have to dig up your sisters corpse on this side. Aaaaand send something back in exchange for keeping illia here.

No, I'm suggest that they're not a threat if turned into Fransian delicacies.
Then it looks like we'll have to fund some other people to craft the spell.
>Spider-mans a rope of ooze and pulls the young crocuta down to him
What's with the master?
Well then it will be a race for the final solution.
Fair enough.
...Since when have rules stopped us?

>the eyes of a disappointed doomsayer are upon you

>Can't respond currently

>Silented

>Can't respond

>Mervyn walks in with a bloodied wrench.
I've killed a lot of frogs today.
Oh, by the way. The frogs are in the central heating system.
Its about to get colder in here.

His eyes judging me are almost more irritating than his yelling.
Almost.

That...sounds really wrong, you know?

What KINDS of potions, though? There's a lot!

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>GLARE

>He tries to throw off the spell

>Iris cries and sniffles a little while holding onto Glug's shoulder
Thanks lord

I for one am extremely offended how unprepared this meeting room is for the spacial-handicapped.
We can just go somewhere warmer.

THEIR POWER IS BEYOND YOUR RECKONING!
HE WAS BEING VERY CLEAR DIANA.

Fransian delicacies?
Frogs are?
I mean ill always try something once..

IT WAS DOOMSAYER

>shrugging since he just yelled this whole time

Colder?
Well shoot.

But I can't drive.
Also, that won't solve the problem.
Yup.
We're also out of running water because the frogs have ruined the piping.

No.

Not under any circumstances.

Unfortunately, seems so.

Listen, I tell you, we need the strongest teleporting potions, for we are going into battle.
I am going into battle, I require the strongest of your potions!

>Let's it break.
Keep your voice down or I'll do it again.

>panicly shakes his head in a way that says "Nuh uh!"

...Okay, I've heard of boiling frogs, but this is rediculous!

How would I know? I don't do potions!

Merv!
Whats going on!

WHY DID YOU DO IT

Man, that sounds like a problem for the people around here who actually have needs.
The Doomsayer has nothing to say in defense, it was him!

I said something. Which in this case implies a somewhat sapient clone.
YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!
WELL LEARN THEM DIANA!

FOUL DECEIVER! IT WAS NOT I!

NUH UH, HARLOT!

>begins tearing up
Potion Seller, I am going into battle, we require your strongest potions!

Hm... perhaps.
But once we have the spell we won't have be in trouble of invasive frogs again. At least for more than a few minutes.
>snaps and finger guns at you with a smile of pearly whites
I've renounced any noble titles I had.
Mr. Glug will do.
Never had frog legs?
Do you know of any other departments or persons that would be best for researching a plague spell?

Then prove your worth! BRING ME HER BEST DRESS!
>Points at Diana

hahaha you are the fags we bullied in school? hahaha fag get a life you fucking nerds xD

t. Warrior Guild

Hey, usually pipes keep frogs out.
Unless they get teleported in there.
Its all these frogs Mikaal!
There in every pipe imaginable
AND THE VENTS!
Don't make me throw another wrench at you ya whiney little shit.

...Oh, sorry.

Perhaps Plagueomancy?

I can and will turn you inside and out.

The Warriors Guild has been disbanded. It's been replaced with the Fighters Guild.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THE FOUL CATDEMON, KNIGHT! DO NOT BE TRICK-ED BY HIS FOUL MAGICS! REEEEEEEEPENT!!

HE SPEAKS

>shakes his head
Cant say I have!
Know how to cook em?

FROGS!
Glug says cook em

Haha hope you don't get caught in a fireball blast radius. Would be a terrible accident. Ecks Dee.

Well here's hoping at least.
How well did that go for you last time?

Try do it now without your phylactery, asswipe.
Nothing Personnel.

Sincerely.
Thief Guild.

I have brought this white and gold dress for you!

tomato tomato fag hahaha
get a life you geek i got tons of pussy to smash and ripped bros to spot on the goblin cave run you bitch

t. Warr Fightors Guild

Ugh, that's tacky. BRING ME HER SECOND BEST DRESS INSTEAD!