In my campaign setting, magic is wild and unpredictable...

>not having the amulet make only the creature's neck invisible
>not having a matching set of bracers and greaves that only make the users arms and legs invisible not their hands, feet, and torso.

>thimble of protection
>+5 ac to the finger it is worn on

Medallion of Invincibility
Makes the wearer feel invincible.

>Cloak of Deception
>You fool! It wasn't a cloak at all!

>Depth Knight Armor
>Ye olde diving suit

>Horns of Hate
>trumpets/bugles that cause all who hear to hate whoever plays them

>Scaredcrow
>A timid crow who frightens any who see it

>Synonym Pie
>Pastry for those who lack vernacular

>Cacophonous Mallet
>The loudest tool in all the land

>Stinkersmith
>A tiny mechanical doll that travels a minimum of 6 feet, makes a tiny but potent fart, then scurries back laughing maniacally.

Why the ellipses?

I get that you're talking about the penis, but if you're doin' butt stuff, you'd better warm up with fingers first, pal.

>Horns of Hate
>Just mundane vuvuzelas

Shoot. I had some in mind, but now I can't remember. I'll see if I can come up with more.

>Lodestone. Tiny rock that feels incredibly heavy when you try to lift it, and only when you try to lift it.
So it can't be used to crush things, anchor things, or any other practical purpose. It just feels really heavy when you try to lift or move it.

>Nauseous Bag of Holding. Holds quite a bit of space for up to a minute before spewing it all out.

>Ring of Secrets. When you shake hands with someone while wearing it, you learn their most embarrassing secret and they learn yours.

>Dazzling Glamor. A gem which, when inserted into an object, makes it look much more expensive than it is. Its awkward shape makes it nearly impossible to firmly implant into anything.

>Devious Nail. Looks to all the world like a normal nail, but its pointy end cannot be driven into any surface. It will, however, easily embed itself into a hammer used to strike it.

>Escape Wheel. As soon as you set it down, it will start rolling forward at a constant speed, even against the flow of gravity. Comes to a sudden halt as soon as it touches any wall or obstacle.
If you try to set it on a treadmill-like contraption to capture its movement, it will simply roll off the treadmill.

Different user, but when I put it in my girl's pooper. I warm her up with a string of various-sized anal beads. Works like a charm.

That is also acceptable.

But in a quasi-medieval fantasy setting dependent on magic items, anal beads might not be an option.

Does the scaredcrow have any friends?

Aw. Poor little birdie.

Maybe the fear effect wears off if someone gets to know the crow?

five foot step becomes a ten foot step

I did this in a futuristic skin of a 3.5 campaign. Got a set of Grav Boots intended for walking on the hull of ships. My homebrew class had extra dice whenever he moved at least 10 feet during combat, but this meant he'd only get those dice if he didn't full attack.

So I nigger-rigged the boots with my Engineering skill to have a small trigger activated by tapping the boots together that temporarily reversed the polarity on the boots, shooting me forwards a small amount. Gave me a 10ft step as a quick/free action if I passed a balance check of 10 (I had maxed balance at level 6), meaning I got to shoot things 3 times (rapid fire) with each getting the d10+dex mod, plus 2d6.

>>Necklace of Valour and Value. The sapphire in this necklace glows intensely when those hostile to the wearer approach, and also when a shop in the nearby town has just slashed it's prices.
There's plenty of benefit there.
Early alertness to danger and can get amazing deals.
I wouldn't take it off.

>can't be taken off
>only tipped

Twist: it's not a pendant necklace, it's a choker. It's almost impossible for the wearer to see.

>>Escape Wheel. As soon as you set it down, it will start rolling forward at a constant speed, even against the flow of gravity. Comes to a sudden halt as soon as it touches any wall or obstacle.
Can a rope be tied to it and still have it function?
Could be angled up a cave wall to escape or assist in quick underwater expeditions.

Wouldn't you see the glow?
Throw a bag over your head and see if it's glowing.
Ask a party member to take a look.
Carry something with a reflective surface.

>Skull of the knowledge of bone and marrow
>If the holder taps its' forehead, it spouts out a random fact about the skeletal structure of the creature that tapped it.
If the thing that touches it is a non-good alignment, all it does is spout off bone puns, with no decipherable meaning.

Think of the rope like a very thin wall that passes through the wheel. As soon as it applies any backwards force, the wheel stops.

So it's essentially pure novelty.
How fast does it move?
Could be good for training attack dogs.

Other people can still see it, of course. It's just much less convenient if you have to carry around a bag or a mirror or a party member to make use of it.

Worse, imagine this predicament:
>I'd like to buy a mirror, but they're so expensive.
>I know! I'll wait until there's a sale on mirrors!
>BUT HOW WILL I KNOW?

>So it's essentially pure novelty.
Basically. If you're gonna find a use for it, you're gonna have to get pretty creative.
>How fast does it move?
I dunno. 6-7 km/h?

>It's just much less convenient if you have to carry around a bag or a mirror or a party member to make use of it.
While I understand what you're getting at, the description was "glows intensely".
I find it difficult the believe that someone wouldn't be able to see the glow while wearing it.

Even still, you could tie it around your wrist.

>Retards still believe this shit despite being btfo repeatedly by actual armors from the past

That's the magical part.

But the description specifically says it's a necklace. If you wear it around your wrist it'd be no more effective than wearing a hat on your foot.

So says I, for the sake of continuing this meaningless but engaging argument.

A coin that, when flipped, causes a random song to play in the head of the flipper.

Some of these are actually useful, but I want to contribute, so sue me.

Wooden Dog
This small wooden dog will grow in size when activated, allowing the user to ride it.
The wooden horse does not need to sleep eat drink or breath, does not get tired, but is quite flammable.

Sword of Spiders
An ornate short sword, with the crest of a spider on its hilt.
Each time this weapon kills and enemy with a critical hit, the enemy and sword will turn into spiders. These spiders will join and form a new, larger sword.

Cap of Forceful Burrowing
A small leather cap, with what looks like a slot for a candle on the top.
When a candle is placed into the cap, lit, and the cap is worn, the cap will force itself straight down. Generally this causes damage to the wearer as if they had fallen 100 feet, but in soft ground, the hat will bury its wearer up to the neck.

Boots of Icarian Flight
A pair of well-worn leather boots, a white feather is embroidered into each on the heel.
If the wearer of these boots clicks their heels together twice, the boots will launch the wearer 500 feet into the air.

Hat of Hats
A small wide brimmed hat, made of straw, an emblem of a hat adorns its front.
When worn, this hat can be willed to look like any hat, the hat will not assume any magical functions of any hat is looks like, but can perform mundane functions, such as providing light if made to look like a miners hat.

Water Crystal
A small blue prism, it shines like sunlight refracted through water.
When placed into a fluid and activated, this gem will take a copy of up to 100 liters of fluid. The gem can be activated again to make copies of the fluid it was activated in.

Dry Socks
A pair of light blue socks, they feel quite dry, even after a days use.
These enchanted socks are 100% waterproof, and will keep the wearers feet dry at all times.

Cont...

Fork of Eating
A small wooden fork, it looks quite well used.
Anything eaten with the fork will provide nourishment and will be perfectly edible.

Seeking Stones
A pair of small glass marbles, one red, one blue. They seem stuck together, but can be forced apart.
If these marbles are separated, one can be activated at any time, and it will begin rolling towards the other one, no force can stop the marble once it has begun rolling.

Magic Rope
A coil of fine rope, 50ft long.
This rope will unsecure itself 1 minute after being attached to anything.

Chilling Glove
A fine white glove, has a snowflake embroidered into the back of it.
Anything touched by this glove will gradually lower in temperature until it reaches a “chilled” state.

Bag of Sand
A small leather pouch, feels gritty and dusty at all times.
This magical bag will fill itself each morning with 5 pounds of fine sand.

Sharp Red Pebble
A small red stone, with jagged edges.
When activated, this stone will teleport itself into the nearest shoe.

Rainbow Band
An ornate golden hairband, will fit any size head.
When worn, this headband will change the wearers hair color to a random color over the course of five minutes.

Cont...

Any examples off the top of your head?
I'm a longtime reader and have considered making this a setting myself.

Returning Gold Piece
This gold piece looks like any other except for an odd scratch on one side.
This gold piece will teleport itself onto the forehead of the last person to spend it. The coin will only teleport after an hour has passed.

Guard Stone
A smooth blue stone, fits in the palm of your hand.
This small blue stone will vibrate gently when uniformed guards are near. It will vibrate violently if the guards are watching the possessor of this stone.

The Wand of Summoning of Summoning
An ornate wand, it only has one charge.
This wand of summoning will summon an additional Wand of Summoning of Summoning. This will repeat infinitely.

Bag of Sisters
A large burlap sack, it’s quite heavy, despite nothing being inside.
When turned upside down, a small, female child of the users race will fall out of the bag, she will be very annoying. After 24 hours the “little sister” will disappear. Only one “little sister” can exist at a time, while the “sister” is out, the bag is very light.

The Sword of Phallic Humiliation
An elaborate golden long sword, it looks like it holds a great power within it.
This magical longsword looks like a large floppy penis to everyone except the wielder.

Scrying Stick
A small stick, it gives splinters quite easily, and they are difficult to remove.
The wielder of the stick can see through the senses of any creature that has a splinter from the stick. If used on the wielder, it creates an infinite feedback loop, which is normally quite painful.

Fountain of Doubt
An ornate stone fountain, the water flowing through it is slightly off color, and smells a little odd.
This fountain is enchanted with an unidentifiable enchantment, it does nothing.

Cont...

Duplication Box
An average sized wooden chest, it is lined with velvet, and has golden bindings.
This box possesses a basic intelligence, and craves material wealth. Any object placed inside the box will be duplicated after 24 hours. If the item is not removed after it has been duplicated, it will be devoured by the box. Only one item can be duplicated at a time, magic items cannot be duplicated. If an incredibly valuable item is placed within the box, it may be devoured.

Copy Paste
A jar of magical paste, it replenishes itself daily. A crude drawing of two people is on the label.
If this paste is smeared over a creature, the paste will come to life, pulling itself off of the original creature, and then reforming to make a copy of them. The copy is hollow, rubbery to the touch, and possesses an extremely limited intelligence. There is enough paste in the jar to copy one medium sized creature, or two small creatures, per day.

One Apple
A bright red apple, it looks juicy and ready to eat.
The One Apple will replenish itself every morning, as long as the core is not eaten, the apple will never rot, and cannot be spoiled in any manner.

Strange Doll
An old rag doll bearing an unnerving likeness, something about it seems familiar, yet disturbing.
This old doll possesses a basic intelligence, and fill feed on its holder while they sleep. Draining a point of wisdom every night, and leaving 5 gold pieces on the holders chest in exchange.

Bag of Currency Conversion
A soft silk pouch, with fine golden embroidery of coins and jewels and a gem tipped drawstring.
When any currency is placed within the pouch, the user can state the type of currency they would like to transmute the coinage into. Coins can be changed into any other currency, as well as gemstones of an equal value. Gems placed within the bag can also be converted to currency.

Cont...

Staff of Knocking
A gnarled old wooden staff, it looks well used, worn smooth by the elements. A small stone is embedded in its tip, giving hint at some arcane purpose.
The staff can perform several functions by hitting the butt of the staff against the ground.
Soft ground: The staff compels any burrowed creatures to surface.
Hard ground: The staff cracks the ground around the user, creating a 10ft space of rough terrain.
Manufactured ground: The staff gives the wielder an uncanny knowledge of the layout of everything within 100ft, including mundane hidden doors and secret passages.
The wave of magic sent out by the staff can have unforeseen consequences, such as causing rockslides, ground to break apart, or awakening great slumbering beasts.

Ring of Cloud Walking
An ornate golden ring, a pattern is hammered into it, depicting clouds and wind.
The wearer of this ring gains the ability to tread on clouds and fog as if it was a solid surface.

Teddy of Guarding
A ragged old stuffed bear, its eyes shine with a hint of intelligence.
When activated and placed next to the user, the stuffed bear will guard its user while they sleep, transforming into a Dire Bear if anything threatens the user.

Sturdy Needle
A small silver sewing needle, its tip is quite sharp, despite the needles aged appearance.
When this needle is embedded into any object, it raises that objects Hardness, Hitpoints, and Burst DC (if applicable) by x2.

Remembrance String
A small piece of white string, with wax sealing its ends.
When tied around the finger, this string allows it’s user to perfectly recall up to five facts. Not even mind affecting spells can remove these facts from the wearers mind.

And done, phew.

Enjoy, everyone.

>Boots of Icarian Flight
>A pair of well-worn leather boots, a white feather is embroidered into each on the heel.
>If the wearer of these boots clicks their heels together twice, the boots will launch the wearer 500 feet into the air.
I take it without a fall damage-negating enchant?

>Water Crystal
>A small blue prism, it shines like sunlight refracted through water.
>When placed into a fluid and activated, this gem will take a copy of up to 100 liters of fluid. The gem can be activated again to make copies of the fluid it was activated in.
Infinite booze, infinite potions, infinite poisons.
Wondrously OP.

You bet. The fall is the fun part.

Incense of Wisdom

My players used it to duplicate booze.
Pretty much nothing else.

>Staff of Knocking
I'd never wield anything else.

Did they not even think of duplicating potions?
I don't know how that didn't occur.

>infinite potions

you can't handle one of my potions, let alone infinite numbers of them

Thinking back on it, I think I had amended this item so it could only duplicate mundane fluids, but forgot to update the document I copy pasted all this crap from...

Additionally, the group I had at the time wasn't the smartest. This is the same group of people who tested the strength of a magical disintegration barrier by throwing orphans off the side of an airship to "See if the barrier would run out of charges."

Yeesh, this is reviving all sorts of bad memories.

Sounds completely ridiculous, any worthwhile stories?

youtu.be/A2dNlHbBGOo?t=1m35s

Hmmm. I'm sure there's a couple of things but a lot of the details are hazy as hell, this was MANY years ago, very early in my gaming life, I was a young and foolish DM back then, hehe.

In no particular order, heres some random shit that went down in that game.

Party Ranger is killed in the first game by a stray arrow, it crits, instantly killing him, since he was already at low health. The game is derailed at this point as the party goes on an epic quest to revive the Ranger they met like, a day ago. This culminates in an encounter in which they capture his soul, and place it in a giant stone golem they found. The Ranger spent a lot of time re-discovering himself, both literally and figuratively, and become rather twisted because of it. It was his idea to dump orphans in the disintegration barrier to test it.

The party had used the Water Gem a while back to duplicate it's maximum capacity of lake water, so 100 liters or so. Cue the party being in a desert, getting ravaged by a bulette. One of them has the amazing idea to dump 100 liters of water into the sand it's burrowing in, creating a sinkhole and swallowing that person. They ended up being saved, so it was alright.

Party is on a quest to save a village from some Treants. They get a flat fee for saving it, and a bonus for each villager saved. Potentially very profitable. Party Rogue decides the best way to handle this is to fill a bag with dynamite and an alchemists fire and throw it at the biggest treant. Cue a gigantic explosion that deals 400+ damage (I rolled each and every stick of dynamite he insisted he had in the bag). The entire party, the treants, the villagers, and the village are destroyed in the explosion. The players made a new party after that one...

Lemme see if I can remember any more... This game was a mess, both because I was a new DM, and the party was a little special.

The memories are flooding back, god help me now. Heres a big story, this was several sessions of nonsense.

Party learns of a dig site in the desert being run by their sworn enemy. Surely this person can be up to no good, so they decide to infiltrate. After the fiasco with the bulette, they make it to the dig site and find a large number of mercenaries guarding it. With a very large pit in the center of the dig, with an elevator to take people down. This is the only means of entering the dig site (this is important later.)

So the party decides they need to do some scouting, and the Rogue sneaks into camp, murders two mercenaries, and takes their shit. Him and another party member disguise themselves, and use this disguises to find out that their sworn enemy is actually at the dig site right now! How lucky! They also find out that the dig site is connected to some ruins which may have an artifact in it. The party decides the best way to fuck over their enemy is to steal that artifact, so, after much stealthing, they all manage to make it to the elevator undetected and enter the tunnels below, during the night, so no workers are present, and there doesn't seem to be any more guards down here. They begin exploring.

Meanwhile, back in camp, the mercs corpses are discovered, because the Rogue didn't actually hide them, he just left them in the tent where he killed them. Genius. The mercs flip out and alert Enemy, and they proceed to discover that the elevator has been lowered by someone. The trail is getting pretty obvious at this point, so Enemy takes a batch of mercs down into the tunnels, and has the elevator raised behind her.

Meanwhile, party has managed to get the artifact, and is exiting the tunnels, they bump into Enemy, who is now blocking their only exit. (Truly a masterful plan by the party so far). The party is subdued due to sheer numbers, but not before killing some of the mercs.

Cont...

So the party find themselves in a prison they've never seen before. Separate cells, no gear.
Party Rogue finds that a guard is asleep in front of his cell, facing away from him. Rogue takes the mans sword and slits his neck, then takes his keys and lets him and the party out of their cells. Only at this point to they notice the emblem of the city guard on the mans uniform. They're in the desert capital city prison. They just murdered a guard. Genius. They manage to find out that they are being charged with trespassing, murder, theft, and so on. Everything they did at the dig-site was illegal. It was a totally legit operation, (which they actually could have found out if they bothered to read the documents I told them were around when they entered the site in the first place), so now they're in even more shit.

Party manages to escape prison with no gear using a wide variety of improvised weaponry and some very lucky rolls. This part of the game was actually super fun, I love prison breaks.
Anyways, party manages to get their gear back, and actually have themselves smuggled out of the city and off the continent. They never went back.

Ugh.

1d4chan.org/wiki/List_of_Veeky Forums%27s_magic_items

These came out in a D&D session not long ago

>Mace of learning
>A long,barred mace. It's made of a silver-like looking metal. Everytime the mace hits,it permanently increases the target's Wisdom by one point.

>Sword of mending
>When succesfully hitting an enemy,the sword heals said enemy for an amount of hit points equal to a normal long sword's damage roll,but as if the effect was that of a Cure light wounds spell.

>Bola of cosyness
A bola with different sized beas that get warm that prisoners dont get cold and feel timid warm and get sleepy.

Mace of learning seems OP.

Beat the paladin within an inch of his life. He uses lay on hands. Repeat.

A paladin or other caster with 100+ WIS can be terrifying.

>Lodestone. Tiny rock that feels incredibly heavy when you try to lift it, and only when you try to lift it.
>So it can't be used to crush things, anchor things, or any other practical purpose. It just feels really heavy when you try to lift or move it.

>get an empty box
>install lock on it
>put Lodestone inside, anchored so it can't move around when shifted
>throw away the key to the lock
>sell "rare magical treasure chest full of gold"
>run like hell before anyone can crack the chest open

Maybe it only works once for any target?

Only increases wisdom with a crit.

Aka The Bukkake Crystal

>Sword of Screams.
youtube.com/watch?v=I9QuO09z-SI

Eh, the typical use it to curse the thing; that way, it sticks to someone and weighs them down a ton, potentially immobilizing them... but since they can't drop it, they can't escape, short of curse-removal magic. Just be sure not to pick it up yourself; that'd trigger the curse!

The cursed version is generally referred to as a "Loadstone", and can be found in Nethack and such.

wow both of those are extremely powerful in the right situations. Infinite wisdom buffing and a longsword that does extra damage to undead with unlimited CLW? crazy.

>Retards still believe this shit despite being btfo repeatedly by actual armors from the past
Like?I only ever saw one example and it was gladiator's shit.

Yep. They didn't appear in the game,see,but we came out with them when misspelling the names of other magic items,and we thought these too were cool.

>sword of rainbows
it has an iridescent sheen that makes it appear like an aurora to those who see it

when it strikes an object, it creates bright sparks and faint flashes of color, and produces multi-colored ripples through the air as you swing it

hold it up to the sky, and it projects a corona with all the colors of the rainbow around itself

Depends on the setting, but I always enjoy a good Club of Healing.
>1d6 healing magic and 1d4 blunt damage on contact.
>Does not counteract pain.

>>You fool! It wasn't a cloak at all!
So what was it?

A cape

That sounds really useful.

It's kinda like the broken compass from Pirates of the Caribbean,I guess.

The Spoon of Redemption.
Inordinary long wooden spoon. Looks like it was never used for cooking or eating a food.
If you spank someone with this spoon, they will feel immense guilt and pain, swearing they will be a good boy/girl/spawn, they are very sorry, and will not misbehave again. For next week they will cannot do ANYTHING evil, no matter how small or insignificant deed.

For applying an effect, you must spank buttocks (or buttocks equivalent if there is no butt) of creature for at least 10 minutes. Not hitting or slapping - exactly spanking. In future, creature which was spanked by the Spoon, may or may not develop a crippling fear of spoons.

>In future, creature which was spanked by the Spoon, may or may not develop a crippling philia of spoons.

>Sword of Screams. The faster this sword moves, the louder and more intensely it will imitate the sound of a human screaming. This is also the case when it's sheathed, although it is muffled. Be wary on horseback.
Does it sound like this?
youtube.com/watch?v=I9QuO09z-SI

Sword of Mending seems like it would be very useful to an undead slayer, and the best part is that it would be extra-symbolic, only being effective against undead.

>>Does not counteract pain.
Welp, time to get my torture on.

>The Perfect China
>An enchanted tea set that brews a pot exactly to the owner's specifications.
>It also pours itself, always adds the perfect amount of sugar and cream.
>And never cools below the optimal drinking temperature.