Ship Quirk Thread 2: Space Borrowers edition

>The cargo loading crane has a 2 second delay on manual controls due to software.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

having worked on high power "high precision" equipment with this problem before I will say FUCK YOUR GM FOR THAT.

JESUS YOU GAVE ME TERRIBLE STEEL CABLE WHIPLASH FLASHBACKS

>all doors are double hinged, aside for the ones that aren't.
Heh. How about the ones that aren't are pull only. From either direction.

>the landing gear is manually lowered with a hand pump to pressurise the hydraulics.
>the only functioning connection point for said hand pump is in the main landing gear bay itself.
>all atmospheric flying controls are manually operated with wires and pulleys. Have fun when the hydraulic power-assist stops working at 4.3 Mach!
>all fuel transfer between tanks must be controlled manually from a console resembling the love-child of a pipe organ and a steam-engine cab.
>the only resemblance the flight deck bears to a 'glass cockpit' is the presence of glass. It's what covers the uncountable array of analog, electro-mechanical dials that display all sorts of vital info.
>the weather radar picks up foreign language TV, like 24-hour news in Armenian, or pornos dubbed into Bantu.

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith messed up a hyperspace jump and came out two miles underwater? Man it took 'em like a year just to scrape him off the sea floor. He was fine afterwards, mind. Crew didn't make it but he said he just wanted an oil change."

The ship is an entirely normal, bog standard equivalent of space Toyota Corolla but due to reasons, the crew psychosomatically believes that it has quirks.

Here are some I saved from the old spaceship quirk threads
>Due to size constraints, the hyperdrive is mounted sideways. When engaged, the ship leaps sideways into the hyperspace tunnel, port side first and continues like that until exiting.
>Due to the hyperdrive mounting, anything on a shelf will often fly off when it is engaged.
>The main reactor was an early model not meant for consumer use. It had a tendency to fail at nearly predictable intervals and had to be restarted by a modified lawnmower pull starter added on by a previous owner.
>The ships atmospheric cruising speed was mach 1 due to horrible aerodynamics
>Even though the reactor was powerful enough to run the ship, a powersaving feature was added so the ship could be called energy efficient: The inertial dampeners shut off at speeds under mach1 and took about a minute to restart. There was no manual work around.
>All external lights appear to have been added on as an afterthought and used house quality incandescent lightbulbs.
>The ship requires a keyfob to pilot. The fob has a very short range of 5ft and burns through batteries at a rate of 1 per week due to bad wiring. The controls lock up and engine shuts down if the keyfob is not in range of the bridge
>The oven shorts out the lights in the bathroom and vice versa.
>The sink produces only "hot" and "hotter" water while the shower only comes in "cold" and "deep space" temperatures
>To save cost, radiation shielding in the fridge consists of a lead lining
>All the computer software is either shareware with nag screens, out of date or incompatible with the actual hardware that it came with.
>The medical bay's quarantine chamber has an ejection feature that can only be triggered from inside the quarantine chamber and consists of an unmarked, harmless looking switch on the wall near the light switches.

>The cockpit windows slot in from the outside. This didn't become a problem until the crew was forced to replace the 3/4" anchor nuts holding it in for 21mm ones due to a logistics cock up.
>The ship is an old NeoComBloc design intended to be operated by conscripts and repaired with a hammer. Unfortunately, it was built shortly after the Second Collapse of the USSR by the Serbian collective with inferior materials and standards.
>The ship's nav-scan array is a very old model, which happens to operate on the standardised weapons targeting frequencies. This has proven problematic.
>Most of the flight computer is programmed in hexadecimal machine code, rather than an accepted language.

>All screws, nuts and bolts use nonstandard measurements and cuts and require proprietary tools designed by a company that went under over a century ago.

>The ship was fitted with an aftermarket boost kit for the main reaction drives by a prior crew. This essentially adds another injector set in the combustion chamber for an additive of choice, which in this case turned out to be a fifty-fifty mix of chlorine trifluoride and dioxygen difluoride (Stored in separate tanks, obviously. The guys who came up with this monstrosity weren't THAT stupid.).

>The ship's AI is aggressively user-friendly, and has a strange fixation on tea and sandwiches.
>every so often a watch will swear they hear knocking coming from outside the hull. when investigated it turned out to be an antenna that was hanging by the wire.
>due to power constraints when trying to fire a full broadside of lasers they only manage to produce a gentle warming effect to anything outside of point blank.
>it's shape is such that unless it is coming in a greater than 80 degrees it will skip off the atmosphere.

the bridge lights are a little iffy so that when travelling through hyperspace they blink like a strobe and give off a buzzing sound.
>one of the power panels has it's conductors completely exposed, so don't lean on it, or even brush against it for that matter.

>The armor is ablative in nature and made of a complex silica composite. The end result is a very cheap and very effective armor system. The only downside is a flaw in production that leaves 1 out of every 1000 or so plates with the protective properties of glass. These plates are indistinguishable from normal ones
>The ship was previously owned. The cargo hold is an absolute mess with gouges and ruptures all over. There are gashes and tears on the walls of the ships interior. The crew quarters contain multiple mysterious stains. These stains are not blood.
>The chairs in the cockpit are removable to allow re-placement. The release lever on them is a bit wobbly and occasionally detaches when the seat is jostled
>The docking seal on the ship is heavily warped. While functional it makes forming a seal with most standard ports impossible and requires the use of breech sealant or a similar process to avoid venting. The seal is warped in such a way that replacement would be very difficult without removing a significant portion of the frame.
>The ships audio matrix is particularly advanced and has functionally unlimited memory. Unfortunately it is impossible to remove songs from it due to the data storage method. With a dozen previous owners some of these recordings are a bit bizarre to say the least. Some are much more unnerving. What makes that kind of scream for 72 minutes?!?

>It's a retrofitted mother-ship-killer class torpedo. The warhead was removed to make way for the living sections and the main engine has limited fuel capacity, but goes damn fast. Biggest downside is that it wasn't ever supposed to stop, and retrofitted maneuverings thrusters to turn it around occasionally bjork themselves.

>> Tiny civilisation living in the airvents
Why not in one of the lockers?

Also, the engine room is full of spikes. Like, literally, full of spikes. All the walls, the ceiling, even some of the floor. Who the fuck built this thing? You could put your eyes out on those if you weren't careful.

interestingly enough, according to my thermo-2 professor, spike and thorn shapes are the best for radiating heat(the vanes in a radiator are better for conducting heat into air)

Smaller than that
youtube.com/watch?v=smwd8b0ycBg

>The ships kitchen has a separate A I from the rest of the ship, and this AI constantly berates the ships cook.
>And anyone who spills on his spotless counters.
>And anyone who enters the kitchen.
>Even the ships main AI.

>the ships main console has a button labeled "oh shit". It is not on the ship schematic, and was apparently installed by the ships previous owner. The previous owner is, unfortunately, unavailable for questions, as he passed away in an unfortunate tinkering accident.

>notice several dozen lifters carrying a wooden pallet out of the cargo bay
>follow them to an old storage cupboard
>ships eventually lay it against the wall
>tiny robots climb up and start drilling holes
>mention it to the engineer
>he says he bought them some fancy Earth mushrooms since they've been helping so much with the maintenance
>figures they're trying to grow more

>The ship's computer has a voice recognition interface, which ostensibly recognizes English, but only when spoken with a thick Russian accent.
>Some words and phrases are poorly translated in said interface, with unpredictable results.
>The average height of space-faring humans has increased by several centimeters since the ship's construction, an eventuality that some of the cramped interior hallways were not built to anticipate.
>The warp drive and navigation software are incompatible, meaning the drive has to be fired manually with precise timing. A second off and the navigation will desynch with the ship's actual position. The fastest was to fix this is by resetting it to factory default, but that wipes all of the navigator's preferences.
>The ship's internal sensors sometimes report repetitive motion as a loose component. Most of the crew have simply come to accept their private moments are shared with the whole bridge.
>After years of being replaced with whichever model is on hand, a number of the maneuvering thrusters have minor variances in how much thrust they produce, a fact not accounted for by the inertial compensation software. As a result, a dead stop is almost impossible, the ship is always very slowly drifting, rolling, or turning unless docked or landed.

>its become an unspoken rule among the crew and the Borrowers that they hide from new recruits until they decide to reveal themselves.
> once the new recruit "discovers" thier existence, the crew makes a point of not acknowleging it, the true test has begun
> if he keeps the secret of the borrowers, he gets to stay.

> if he keeps trying to show evidence of them or, moons forbid, capture one to show, he will be dropped off at the next port without explanation. Cause who is going to believe some guy who got booted off a ship if hes talking about a tiny race with ship living in the ductwork?

This is wonderful, user. You could even play whale song while in session, and maybe even give an auditory hint that this are going wrong by making it sound different.

>What makes that kind of scream for 72 minutes?!
I don't want to know.

After a very rough warp, one crew member discovered that exiting from the second port airlock somehow spits you out at the first starboard airlock. No one has tried to enter the ship from that airlock since, but it was a handy shortcut to circumvent the fire a couple months ago.

The crew has been listening to a pirate radio station lately. Not one run by pirates, which would be very concerning, but just an unlicensed and particularly strange station. Turns out the ship AI has some odd hobbies.

Some modifications have been made to the ship's voice recognition programming. It seems that certain phrases will cue soundtracks, and there's no list written down. Sometimes it just shouts phrases at the crew as a response to something the mic picks up. Absolutely no one on the ship wants to get rid of the so-called "montage mode", despite the confusion that it sometimes causes.

>Ship life support fails one day.
>Chief engineer says, "Well boys, we got work to do."
>Classic rock begins blasting from the speakers all over the ship
>Repairs take half as long as predicted, and many of the crew is hoarse the next day from singing.

>Tense situation where the ship is trying to hide in-system from another ship.
>Almost everything is off except for life support to reduce EM noise from the ship.
>Everyone is whispering for some stupid reason, probably stress.
>"Just behind the moon there. Bogey sighted." Somebody says.
>"JUST SHOOT THE BASTARD" screams the ship, in a thick Scottish accent.
>Everyone jumps, and somebody accidentally fires the laser array.
>Ship in distance begins blasting engines full throttle
>Cue panicked attempt to escape

I would hit that button like an asteroid impacting the moon

> Reality seems warped in the showers. You're seemingly in there for hours, but mere minutes have passed when you leave
> The hyperdrive got fixed, but now it jumps to the right, by four feet. You're afraid to get it fixed again.

>The hyperdrive got fixed, but now it jumps to the right, by four feet. You're afraid to get it fixed again.
The hyperdrive works fine, but the drive itself moves an inch to the left every time you jump. Every so often you have to dismount it and reinstall it on the right-hand side of the engine room, because no-one wants to find out what happens once it hits the wall.

Don't tell me you bought a ship from Honest J'onn's Military Surplus as well. I thought the review I left would warn people off!

But it's a genuine lockhead martini ship!

Should have got a Soyuz

Someone, before this thread dies, archive it with the rest of them!

Archive to be found here!
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Spaceship Quirks

Did whoever was posting The Borrowers fiction put up thier own thread?

>sitting at the navigation computer
>don't have do anything for a while, hyperdrive flies itself unless something goes wrong
>you hear a strange whistling noise behind you
>turn around to see a small object flying at your face
>reflexively you throw up your hand to catch it
>realize it was a borrower ship
>a small, brightly colored ship with oversized engines
>and apparently quite rugged
>after lying motionless for a second, the engines flare and it takes off, seemingly no worse for wear
>it flies over to the far wall, which you now notice has two post-it notes attached
>the ship carefully burns a mark into one of them, then flies at you again
>more cautiously this time, you hold up your hand to see what it does
>this time it rolls at the last second to slip between your fingers
>wiggles its wings as it flies past your face
>then burns a mark into the other note and flies at you again

> Pull up to a station
> Navy carrier is docked at the same time
> Thing's vast, dwarfs every other ship in port
> As you start stacking the cases of holo-porn onto pallets, a ship the size of a basketball wallows out of an airvent and makes it's way towards a crate
> Examine it as it flies slowly past you
> It's covered in murals of beings embarking on long and perilous journeys, finding new lands, and beating monsters
> Quickly set up a box and wave them into a landing inside it
> Label it up as a toy before taping it shut, and add a discount price tag
> Feel a pang of sorrow as you haul the pallet out the cargo airlock, until you're orbited a few times by a flotilla of ships that then head back into the vents
> They're not moving out, just sending a colony.
> Sell their box to the first space navy trooper you find, thrown in as an extra with two cases of green-skinned amputee dwarf hyperporn.

>All the probes have racy nose art on them, and you can't bear to remove something anyone put so much effort into.

Beautiful

> The borrowers have taken to trying to fix the kitchen
> You found a ship harvesting mould from a lump of cheese in the fridge
> It seemed rather grateful to be let out of there; presumably someone had shut it in there accidentally
> One covered in ceramic tiles was found scraping the char off the inside of the oven
> One surrounded by a forcefield was clearing the layers of scum from the inside of the microwaves
> You're starting to feel slightly self-conscious about the messes.

not me.

I have my own Scrubbing Bubbles team. and I pay them in BBQ sauce...

>the ship's AI insists on holding barbeques down in the engine room whenever you're in port
>can't eat any of it, but says it just loves the smell

> It tastes delicious.
> You're not sure whether using the reactor as a heat source is a good idea, though.
> Or entirely safe.

What would the Borrowers do about a dog? A good dog

Dogs are colonist animals, they ain't built for the spacer life.
That said, I'm sure they'd prefer 'em to cats' if only cause most breeds can't fit into the ducts

Try not to be devoured by it. They know what happened to the last fleet.

>All those little quirks the ship has?
>Some of them are because it's alive.
>Turns out between all the replacements, improvised fixes, patchwork networking, and flagrant use of self modifying heuristics software, the ship has developed a sapient conscious.
>It's kinda, sorta smart? But also really alien. What it thinks doesn't translate well into human concepts.

>It's managed to make clear that it'd prefer we don't do any more repairs or modification to the ship without running it by it first.
>Partially by heroic efforts by our computer guy to cobble together a common dictionary. Mostly through increasingly severe electrocution of the offending party.

>Captain and crew is seriously considering selling it to a lab and getting a new ship.

Adding onto the tale of the Space Borrowers because the writefag in me refuses to let this idea die.

> Captain: "Comms, kindly let Lt. Denshaw and Barett know that I requested them thirty minutes ago."

> Comms: "Aye, Captain."

> Meanwhile; Officers Quarters

> Denshaw: "But, Damien, they're so cute, just look look at them!"

> Barett: "Suli, I swear if you don't untie me right now I'm not helping you buy sweets the next time we dock."

> A literal mini Task Force of 4 destroyers and a single cruiser float awkwardly between the two lieutenants.

> On the ground is a large collection of scrap, foodstuffs, and other assorted items being harvested by several dozen mini-miners and mini-haulers.

> Denshaw: "You wouldn't actually do that to me. . . would you?"

> . . . .

> Barett: "Just let me go talk to the Captain at the very least. His patience, even with you, has its limits."

> Denshaw: "Fine, but you better bring back more honey. The little guys really like the stuff!"

> Barett: "I promise." turns to the small flotilla of alien naval vessels. "Now can you guys cut the ropes for me? Suli made the knots too tight, again."

> Later; Main Bridge

> Barett: ". . . and that's what Lt. Denshaw's being up to the past week, sir."

> Captain: "Well, that's better than the last few times she's tied you up."

> Barett: "Also, in regards to the Micro's on-going operations aboard the Prodigal, they finally managed to track down the nest of bugs that we picked up on Fendema Minor."

> Captain: "Anything we should be concerned about?"

> Barett: "Well, Chief Engineer Laymar was right about them being corrosive and damaging the ships wiring. Thankfully, the Micro have so far managed to quarantine the infestation before it could spread into critical systems."

> Captain: "Explains what they stopped sending Battleships to meet with Denshaw. Speaking of, how is she fairing?"

> Barett: "Like usual, she's requested I bring her more honey again too. "

...

Another image, because there's something morbidly amusing about very very tiny soldier fighting off common, albeit alien, insects.

I like that name, the Micros.

>dock at a station
>a notification pops up, saying someone left a package for you
>turns out it was just a postcard
>you still haven't figured out the writing on the back, but the front is definitely a picture of the Jupiter dockyards

>slide it carefully into a vent

>A derelict cargo vessel was recovered from unmapped empty space, after being apparently abandoned for quite some time.

>The make is familiar, if outdated, and just about as factory standard as it gets.

>After piloting the ship back to s nearby port to be repurposed or scrapped, the reclamation team was shocked to find the fuel tanks completely empty, and every one of its generators and engines to be completely hollow casings, as if to give the appearance of functionality while not actually working.

>after going over the ship with a fine tooth comb, a loose grate was discovered in the floor of the cargo bay. Inside was a large, fleshy, thin sheet of organic tissue. With what appeared to be several IV tubes extending out deeper into the ship.

>when removed for study, not only did the tissue die, but the ship suddenly stopped running altogether. Even the wireless devices that were never hard wired into the system in the first place.

Bump

> TFW you killed it trying to find out what it was

> they're fighting a bloody bug war in the vents against mildly dangerous insects
> Just to protect the ship's wiring
They need a whole damn bottle of sauce for that.

I can sort of see the borrowers becoming symbiotic with human spacers. Spacers provide them with resources, they provide the spacers with protection from small but dangerous threats, and clean vents.

>Just another day as a micro, cleaning the vents and fighting off space ants, playing around with the friendly giants that run the world-ship
>Something goes wrong, the sky as turned red, the world-ship is taking damage, it's fighting something out in the infinite black, the giants are panicked.
>Suddenly it's all over with a white flash and an explosion
>The world-ship has been defeated, the city is gone when the vents breached and all the air was sucked out into the black
>Only a handful of ships have survived
>All the giants are dead
>Sensors pick up a fleeting glimpse of the enemy that did this, another world-ship, an enemy world-ship painted red with teeth along the front like a beast. It quickly leaves in FTL after gloating over the broken body of your once home.
>Begin salvaging the remains of the world-ship
>There is only one mission left for you and the handful of surviving Micro ships
>Revenge

>The ship's operating system is programmed and communicates entirely in pic related

>"FOR THE ZA-LORD"
yes, I like this.

and the generations upon generations of children you will have eventually too...

>1 year later, a galactic patrol cruiser stumbles onto the remains of the "Blood Shark", a notorious pirate vessel.
>All the crew are dead, from a combined failure of life support and reactor shielding, they were literally suffocated and cooked at the same time
>The chief medical examiner believes it was a quite horrific way to go
>The chief engineer says that the simultaneous failures were a one in a million chance accident
>Aside from a few oddly damaged systems, the ship is in fine order and the vents are even unusually clean of mold and vermin
>Already the local government is having the "Blood Shark" stripped of its weapons and refit to be resold as a merchant cruiser

> A conflict arises with the Borrowers
> Someone's family recipe of brown sauce has gone missing.
> Their entire stash of it, gone
> The borrowers, with their love of bbq sauce, are blamed
> The alleged victim crawls into the vents to confront them
> Exits with a bottle, and what is presumably an apology note
> Over the next few days, the stash is returned, one bottle half-empty
> It seems they didn't like it anyway.

>The AI core contains a tank filled with disembodied human brains
>The AI is aware of this and insists they were all lab-grown
>It didn't tell you about them because you didn't ask

Me again, this time with another scenario.

> Ventilation Shaft M-R-9 & M-R-10

> [Warning: Critical Reactor Systems Compromised]

> Thousands of bugs cover the inner ventilation like a single organism writhing in fury. A never ending wave that flows from the eroded remains of the upper panel on Ventilation Shaft M-R-9 into M-R-10.

> Some fly through the breach only to be met by a counter-strike of Micro Fighters and AA Destroyers.

> Armored Centipedes & Beetles crawl from the breach like malevolent avatars of destruction. Held at bay only with the righteous fury of the Micro's combined arms.

> Then, the swarm. Juveniles far smaller than their Armored counter-parts, but far more numerous.

> Hundreds of insects are wiped out by a never ending salvo from Micro battleships, cruisers, and destroyers.

> The Micro's Infantry and Mechanized Armor, hard pressed just maintaining the quarantine, now they were just desperately holding out into the Giants could destroy the insects nest.

> Meanwhile; Hallway beneath Ventilation Shaft C-15

> Denshaw: "So why am I here with you again Damien?"

> Barett: "We have a bug problem in the vents that have been eating your mini friends food."

> Barett is slowly unscrewing the panel to the ventilation shaft. At his feet are two dozen small spherical objects.

> Denshaw: "Oh, well why didn't you just say so? I mean, how hard could it be?"

> Meanwhile; Ventilation Shaft M-R-10

The FTL drive was originally designed for a much larger ship. When the ship jumps, it takes everything within a 1500 meter radius with it.

Still the fastest ship in the quadrant. Even if it takes hours between jumps for the lights to turn back on, let alone recharge the capacitors.

that might actually be practical

or horrifying
>pirate ship slowly closing in
>capacitors only recharged enough for a couple of feet of FTL travel
>do it anyway
>pirate ship ripped in half when the front bit jumps alongside with you while the rear does not

>

>Not using a constant acceleration drive and orienting the decks of the ship so that down is towards the engines

> Using a drive you can't turn off
> Using a drive with such low thrust it needs to be on all the time
What is this, the 21st century? Get with the times, grandpa. Fusion torches are the way of the future, not your piddling little solid-core NTRs.

1g constant with a deceleration phase halfway through can get you to Mars in 1.7 to 4.7 days.

It's really a much more luxurious way of travelling, no jarring high G maneuvers and you don't have to worry about any discomfort or inconvenience from the Coriolis effect you get with spingrav.

> Muh luxury
5G burn at the start, insertion burn to hit Mars orbit, then a suicide burn for the landing.
Inertial dampeners and grav-plates compensate for the acceleration the whole way, and the drive runs as a power plant while coasting for the few hours the trip takes.
You could even just point and shoot from planet to planet, with your takeoff burn being the escape burn, and a suicide burn to a planetary landing without a proper orbital insertion. But that's banned by interplanetary law, and the drive's not even legal on Earth.
That, and there's Lunatic Crater on Europa where someone tried doing that from Mars to Titan, forgot there was a planetary system in the way, and slapped into the moon in question hard enough to punch through the ice crust.

>Inertial dampeners
>Grav-plates

Space Fantasy, not science fiction

And I bet your groundcar even runs on fossil fuels. What's next, a slide rule instead of a navputer? Solid-fuel boosters? Aerobraking? Launch towers and runways?
You traditionalists are just behind the times. And WASTING time with your long burns. In the time it takes you to leave orbit, I could be on Ceres getting my back rubbed by a four-armed green-skinned Ioan prostitute.

>the Borrowers can be just as protective when they get to know someone
>the crew often find 'toy' battleships among their belongings when they leave the ship
>which is often quite a surprise the first time it happens

> Go out into city to complete a deal with Space Mafia

> Get back-stabbed by Space Mafia

> Realize Space Borrower Intelligence saw the betrayal coming

> Sent an entire armada to shadow you

> No survivors

> You and the ship's crew are now synonymous with Death incarnate

> That moment when you realize just how happy you are that the Space Borrowers are your friends.

The borrowers are one of the best inventions I've seen on Veeky Forums

If you don't follow this guy's example, it's not a suicide burn.

youtube.com/watch?v=3L5zyR4KVLA

>Most of them have plugs coming out of them, but don't serve any actual purpose other than 'decoration'
>He has a little place in the air vents that he has been growing them as a hobby for the last couple decades
>The biomass he used was from the borrowers using that vent as a garbage disposal dump
>That explains why the AI core room always smells

>beyond surprised that this isn't some of Danny's work

Brings out the Kerbal in everyone.

I can't afford to knock bits off my ship. Staging is SO 20th century.

That thing looks like a light-saber.

>early model bioship
>the AI knows that most people prefer mechanical ships and is terribly embarrassed of her operational differences

>ship gets achne
>spend months cleaning up pimple puss from the corridors
I'll stick with metal ships, thanks.

The electrical system has 36 separate phases.
The good news is the ship can lose 90 percent of the system and still function. The bad news is it can take several hours to fix even a simple fault.

I know a couple girls that would not mind the maintenance processes

funnier when you consider stress like that CAUSES zits

You have to hire a psychologist with a specialization in AI as part of ships crew.

"I can't activate my boosters right now, I'm in my therapy session."

the most functional ships don't have therapists, they have steady emotional relationships with parts of their crews.

no need for a therapist if your bioship is content banging, or being banged by, the cook and/or/concurrently-by-the Engineer...

and all the jokes about sweet-talking more power out of the engines become WAY more literal...

Downside, ships a masochist that constantly pings fireing solutions in order to get shot "just a little bit"

I would have thought about badly plotted reentries and courses through asteroid belts for masochistic ships.

by the by, if you guys like Bio-Ships you might read
"Fluke; I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings"
by Christopher Moore...featured there-in are some nautical Bio-ships (like all books by Mr. Moore the 1st and 2nd act twists will trip your balls a little, it's all good.)

No because that's me and I'm a faggot.

I could however continue posting fiction if you like?

forgot my pic, cause I will push this guy and his work wherever I can.

this is Veeky Forums we love our storytime

Engineer Parsons was killed when he was beaten to death by the Wise Council during the Mutiny aboard the Southern Sun.

mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Space_Mutiny

pastebin.com/tAKQ4bKi
Linking all of my writing from last thread.

I didn’t see the Creel for a few days after this. I didn’t think too much of it, and sometime on the second day I noted that Tom the cat was missing a good half inch of his tail as a result of what looked like a laser burn. On checking on him, I noticed poor old Tom was in the vernacular, “high as balls.” It seemed that someone (or a lot of small someones) had found what little catnip we had aboard and had decided to try hearts and minds.

I thought perhaps the Creel might be lying low after the Captain’s pronouncement about needing them dead. I had been lying on my bunk, musing on this when I heard a slightly unusual noise. In space unusual noises are something that by habit, you investigate. Unusual noises that are followed by a small pillar of smoke are generally very high on the priorities list.
The Warspite sheepishly nosed around the corner of my desk. Trailed by tugs and a newer, larger looking warship that I hadn’t seen before. Trailing her were an orderly porcession of space weevils.

If you’ve not come across one of these before, or worse found half of one in the burrito you just bit into, their about three inches long, look nothing like a weevil and are voraciously fond of all biological matter, an infestation of space weevils can eat out a ships stores in days, and if you’re weeks from Port, they’ve been known to turn on the crew.

The Warspite wiggled her wings and circled back around toward me, while the new ship (The Bismarck) lead the cattle drive up into the vent.

>The ship's computer is made out of the brains of the former crew.
>It occasionally has flashbacks when you talk about certain subjects and the remnant minds surface in unpredictable ways.

The Warspite most definitely wanted my attention. I noted that the explosion I’d heard had been (judging by the remains) the weevil queen, who at about the size of a shoe, I did not really want decomposing in my quarters. How they’d lead her here or indeed why was a mystery but I gingerly dumped the smoking corpses into the recycling unit. I felt the Creel were rather taking liberties here but I had become rather fond of always finding my shoes shined, my razor self sharpening, and a hundred other little things. I wagged a finger at the Warspite. “don’t do it again.”

She wiggled her wings and then did something I’d never seem her do before. She landed.

She came to rest just beside the ash tray and as I watched, a rover about the size of a bean was disgorged from her hold. The Warspite took off again and made for my book shelf. Her prow pointing very firmly at my copy of The Law of Space, and then once she was sure I’d noted this, she made for my first aid manual.

I decided there was nothing to be lost in sharing the first book, and placing it spine down, the rover took charge, turning the pages as the Warspite surveyed the text as one of our survey vessels might the topography of a new planet.

I braced open the first aid manual and decided to leave them to it. My quarters were not entirely my own any more, which I didn’t entirely mind but sometimes it’s very nice just to be alone.

The officers mess was quiet, we would be making planetfall in 48 hours and there were always plenty of things to be done. The captain at least had decided that removing anything aboard which had been improved by the Creel was unwise, especially when Mclintock in one of his more lucid moments suggested we might patent a couple of the innovations. I held out my empty glass, waiting for a tug to synthesize Ice from the moisture in the air. It took a moment or two before I remembered I wasn’t in my quarters any more and I had to do it myself.
It was about then that she walked in. The chief logistics officer and I had had our disagreements. They tended to be loud, involve throwing crockery, and followed by making up passionately for about three days, before the next disagreement. There tended to be days if not weeks in which we avoided each other. Murchison was from a sleepy little place that orbited Neptune and either subtlety hadn’t made it there or she had been so blunt to it as to have beaten it to death before it got a chance.
“Make me a drink” from her this was akin to a diplomatic mission, “then tell me where you’ve been hiding"

[Sleep soon. I'll try to keep adding to this but last time I did something for Veeky Forums it turned into a War and Peace sized work]

...

This ship have a exceptional stealth system, making you almost invisible. When it's active, you hear a chorus of ancient Soviet Soldiers singing their weird songs.

The ship has an exceptional active stealth system. When active, it burns out every sensor of every kind within an AU.

>ship is slightly ticklish
>handheld tools are fine but anything vehicle-mounted needs to be parked on sound mats

"Ellis... can we talk about this later?"