Welcome to "Whose turn is it anyway", the show where everything's made up and the hit points don't matter

Backyard creampies III

From Russia with love

Lolita

John Dies at the End

Wall Street

Back Door Sluts IX

Psycho

The Five Obstructions

The Virgin Suicides

Enter the Void

There Will Be Blood

>differences between a hooker and the party's rogue

The hooker might have a heart of gold, and she wouldn't sell it.

one will do anything for gold, the other stops at sex

Price

>The hooker won't make anyone fuck a horse.

How to train your dragon(born)

The hooker wears more.

Rogue can handle one dagger. The hooker up to five.

I choose when to get fucked by the hooker.

When the hooker backstabs you, you pay in advance.

>things you shouldn't say when your GM asks you "are you sure?"

"I'm putting my dick in that kid because it's what my character would do!"

...but it's bound to work this time!

"No."

"What, are you saying that sticking your dick into a gelatinous cube WOULDN'T fucking rock? PUT 'ER IN!"

BACK DOOR SLUTS IX?!

"Yeah, I'll go ahead and say that aloud while invisible."

My AC is 20, I'll be fine.

"I frankly DON'T see a reason why i shouldnt check the old queen's cleavage for valuables; yes I'm sure"

"Damn right I'm sure. He doesn't need all his teeth anyway!"

>You're right, the goblins would hear me if I try to sneak around in my chainmail. Better take it off before I go slinking about.

underrated

"Of course, I'll make that jump!"

The Expendables

>sidenotes in the paladin's diary

Interrogate THEN smite...

Note to self: detect evil then smite

"I wish I could read"

"Why am I adventuring with these idiots?"

>how to tell your GM wants to kill the party

kek

>Be more pious

"You know what? Fine! Let's go with your plan! The one I've warned you against five times already! Let's fucking DO this!"

"Guys, something's wrong. The railroading has stopped..."

>*heavy breathing*
>"The dragon attacks the wizard for..."
>evil grin

"There's six giant wolves coming onto the airship, and we're still getting chased by the fucking magitech golem."

I had to kill another retard wizard today.

"We are going to change the rules to Wounds and Vigor, as well as armor as DR. Also your items can break.

Gay Negroes from Outer Space

>"The door behind you appears to have been sealed shut and upon close inspection the air around it shimmers slightly"
>"The only path remaining is forward, and down, into the darkness"
>"Roll initiative"

No more volleyball

BANG BANG CRASH
ATF RAID
>we're playing dogs

Jin Roh

Pic related

>"Only you can see this creature, to everyone else it looks like you're fighting nothing, but your wounds are very real. Does a... 38 hit your AC?"

Had a GM do that once. That's the last time I tell him I want to retire a character for one that fits the party.

>Write Sanity 100 somewhere on your sheet, you lose 20 by the way.

They make you roll saves on d6 in d20 system.

is that a fucking jojo reference

Dumb & Dumber

People like hookers.

Hookers don't touch strange, rotting bones for free.

Not that I know, maybe Fantomas inspired some characters but our rouge is a shapeshifting serial-killer sociopath. (We play Dark Heresy Ascencion)