Your real life proffession is now a fantasy class, alongside Warrior, Ranger, Thief, Bard, Cleric and Mage

>profession

i want reddit to leave

What a coincidence, I want people who haven't been on Veeky Forums since 2007 to leave.

>physicist
Does this just make me a different kind or wizard?

I'm a land surveyor. So i follow after adventurers have cleaned a dungeon to measure it up and map it after people decide what to do with it.

>Librarian
Maybe a wizard-like character with silence based abilities.

>teacher
I'd make it a shit bard I suppose

>>Porn star.
Di you do actual porn or just cam whore stuff?

I do some part time.

Maybe something like a bard with bonuses based on how naked you are.

>Content Marketing Copywriter
Nerf journalists, buff creative salaries, raise level requirements on reading comprehension.

>Defense contract engineer
I guess I put all my points in skill focus(siege weapons)

>Blacksmith

Hit shit with a hammer till it stops twitching.

>Engineer
No imagination needed, been a proffession since the year dot. I guess I would be building extremley shoddy siege engines or crossbows and shit for the party.

NEET

As a true expert at doing nothing, I vastly enhance the bonuses my party gains when resting.

>infantry officer
So warlord?

>Aircraft Subsystem Assembly

So, is it like an Artificer or some shit?

QA. I'm the first to spot when things go wrong, but my powers are limited to explaining what went wrong and recommending someone to fix it.

Call the class the Oracle, remove Divination-type spells from the other classes' spell lists, give them bonuses to Perception and similar defenses (as with the spells, this means weakening the Ranger and Thief versions of these), and give them telepathy. 90% of QA is communication.

Also, is this actually a conversation starter, or are you just curious about the sorts of people who visit Veeky Forums?

>European Historian
Man, I'd be so fucking useless.

Over PHP? Hell, I actually might! On more serious note - if you need scripting language why not Python? If you need to make webpages why not some framework?

>Senior code monkey / TL / tutor @ IT company
Warlord or other such hybrid support/beatstick class. As of late I spend more time on the organizational stuff than productive work, but it can't he helped...

I fix printers, so i now fix spellbooks??? Guess im not adventuring any time soon.

>Security Guard

I guard the temple. So a shitty fighter at first.

You wouldn't happen to have bleached blonde hair going just under the ears, would ya?

Go ahead!!! I opened the thread for laughs, not for making a class compendium

Well I'm now a shopkeeper. That really does not a good adventuring class make.

>That really does not a good adventuring class make.
Do you even capitalism, ho?

>I vastly enhance the bonuses my party gains when resting.
that's what you think

"that creepy dude didn't let me rest. He was awake all night wanking and muttering F5, F5, F5"

I sell mattresses for a living.

How does one become a Butcher?
When I was a kid I helped my Grandpa and family slaughter and butcher cows in the summer, but that was from his own herd, not professionally.

>Social Worker
Like a thrallherd but with junkies and homeless

>Also, is this actually a conversation starter, or are you just curious about the sorts of people who visit Veeky Forums?

I'm testing my new pick-up line before friday night

Are you mattress vendress?

I'm a doctor.
I'm the healbitch.

How do you feel about getting bullied affectionately?

>geographer
Well fuck I'm probably going to be useful in getting to the dungeon, at least

Kindergarten teacher

Either a Wizard with a book full of suggestion / illusion spells or just your everyday bard, telling stories, entertaining people who don't even realize your competence, teaching their uneducated offsprings.

Shit son, you can be geomancer now!

You can pick up the trade in most any supermarket chain. Most places will have you working with processed segments of pork and beef instead of the entire carcass.

When I worked at a supermarket you had to start off as a deli clerk and pray that a meat cutter apprenticeship would open up.

I went to collage for it, but that doesn't seem to matter much, as most people I know don't.

Just start dropping off resumes, you will probably start out as a wrapper, and move up from there. Mention your prior experience.

Also it depends what you are looking for, grocery store, slaughter, custom, packing, sausage, etc.

It's a good career that can pay very well, is always hating and will always be int demand. An the skill are usable for life.

I entered university a NEET
I left university an overqualified NEET

>Not being one of those cute NPCs the PCs end up growing overly attached to.

*always hiring.

I'd be a mage specializing in intercepting the messages of my kingdom's enemies being conveyed by magical or mundane means I guess?

But you do need to apprentice then? I wonder is anywhere near Seattle is looking for a warm body to fill a position...

I guess my job would fall under 'Porter' so really I'm just the Commoner class

Not him, but I definitely capitalism.
>Retiree
Noble. I get paid to own stuff. Spend most of my time planning parties or social outings for my friends, who have a variety of useful professions. This in turn means I have a network of highly competent people who can fix problems as they arise with my enterprise.

I also am a semi-pro GM. Like, I get paid but obviously its not my primary income.

Oh, and I spend an inordinate amount of my time tending to my waifu and kidlets. Rather than hiring a fleet of nannies and ignoring them.

>Over PHP? Hell, I actually might! On more serious note - if you need scripting language why not Python? If you need to make webpages why not some framework?

I'm actually using CakePHP right now, but once this project is done, we are switching to a different framework.

>>Retiree
Of old age? What the fuck are you doing on Veeky Forums?

The Art Student is a pretty piss-poor class when it comes to direct combat. D6 hit die, shit all in weapon proficiencies, and few other offensive capabilities. However, Art Students do get proficiency with one musical instrument, proficiency one set of artisan's tools, and two bonus languages. Best of all, the Art Student can cast arcane spells from their own spell list made up mostly of illusion spells, using a musical instrument or artisan's tools that they're proficient with as an arcane focus. Charisma determines the spell DCs while Inteligence dictates spells known and slots per long rest.

Essentially, a thematic fusion of the wizard and the bard.

No. Must be think of someone else m8.

>janitor

ಠ_ಠ

Going to think about this for a while as I work today, hopefully thread will live for about 6ish hours

Lawyer in training, so probably a purely social class based on fasttalking or maybe some kind of countermage?

Addendum: I got it! I'm a quest-giver. I know lots of PCs, and occasionally I have them do stuff. That reflects my role as GM and as a business owner.

No, I'm 28.

Ever read Tim Ferris? "4-hour workweek"? It's that sort of lifestyle, except I've reduced 4 hours a week to about 4 hours a month. So basically I'm retired.

People in older generations would instead devote their time to getting more money. But, like, I don't need more money. So I'm not exactly private jet rich like I guess I could be in 40 years if I never see my family. Instead I spend my time doing fun stuff like hosting, vidya, traveling, and GMing (which is why I Veeky Forums).

...

Depends on the position. Apprenticing hasn't been a thing for the past few decades, it's impossible to find.

You will often see the "ten years experience" road block, but that usually for cutters.

Just look online. If they ask for your experience say you have non-proffesional experience in the career, but are willing to learn and work hard.

It's all in the wording. Stress you may not have much experience, however you done it before (so you won't quit the first day because it's "dirty" or "hard") and that you are willing to learn and a "blank slate" (meaning you have no bad habits and they can train you how they like).

>pollster

I just kinda annoy people and they die.

>Kindergarten teacher

You're the DM

>mixer for resin bonded abrasives
Some sort of alchemist probably. No healing potions but I could whip up some nasty and flammable stuff that also turns you yellow and purple while giving you cancer. Or some other stuff that burns green and thinks water is fuel.

See
Thrallhers but with little shits

>How do you balance it to still being playable?

I have a master's degree in animal breeding and genetics, have published in journals with an impact factor, got bored, went on to get a vet degree, but got bored during the first year, went back to work Uni in population genetics, learned enough scripting in perl, and fucking Fortran90 of all things, to make that work got bored again, passed state exams and got certs for being an electrician, worked three years as a custodian in a big pharma warehouse, got bored again, got certs for being a dietician, managed to not kill the first fucking lazy ass fattie who paid me, threw that job two weeks later as the lardo proclaimed that it's not a birthsday without cake (middle aged guy, with a BMI way above his actual age), got certs for forklift repair and became an electromechanic.

How the fuck do I balance that? Who the fuck am I even? Who do I want to be when I grow up?
I don't even know.

bouncer

>cop

Basically a paladin with a ranged weapon

but my job is the NPC that all the player characters buy their weapons from.

that, or my companions all get obscenely overpowered kit... eventually.

You're the guy who keeps multiclassing every level

>Ever read Tim Ferris? "4-hour workweek"?
Did not, will look into it.

Well, I'm pretty sure wisely maintained wealth can become self-sustaining after reaching certain amount. The catch is getting to that amount.

basically I sit outside while all the adventurers do interesting shit in the tavern

occasionally something interesting will happen outside the tavern like nobles and special guests arriving but otherwise I just make sure adventurers are at least level 21 and I clean up outside if anyone leaves their gear or supplies lying around

my class grants a lot of physical stats and magic defense but my intelligence was just a lucky roll,
proficient with most weapons and armor but magic attacks are limited

Industry secret:
Adventure taverns are always built on Low Magic spots to reduce collateral damage in brawls

You still have your holy avenger baton don't you?
I am G4S employee at the moment and just about to join the police.

Ehhh... sorta but not really.

Real wealth is in the network. A CEO's job is basically drinking with people. No really. They fly here or there for a meeting and have drinks and then fly here or there and do it again. You're trying to figure out if the people you're consulting/contracting are incompetent or scammers. If they aren't, and they can get the job done *on time* then great! You found a reliable source for widget X.

Alternately, you're basically doing HR but for extremely high powered positions. Poaching talent from other companies, wooing dudes and dudettes with fancy party stuffs and negotiating deals.

My point is, you ever hear those stories about dudes who go bankrupt like 7 times in their life and still wind up billionaires? Mark Twain was like that, to name one example. Once you have the network of people you can get rich over and over again, even if something happens to the market and you lose it all (or bet it all on some failed entrepreneurship). Yeah, capital is necessary, but not nearly as important as the network. If you've been bankrupt and rich again three times, banks will give you a loan because you've proven you can get rich again. Its the getting shit done by getting the best people to work for you (by contract or employment) that is essential.

Not to get political, but the other notable example of this is Donald Trump.

Is it worth looking into? I'm the user who sells beds and I kinda hate it. i make good money, but I hate sales.

Oh, talent hunting. Yeah, that kind of job I'm aware of. And I can imagine how it would generate tons of profit when done professionally.
I'd imagine it's not for everyone though and the requirement is like 16+ Charisma with decent Int & Wis to boot. More power for you.

In my option yes. It is a good career, it will always be in demand, an pays well. However it isn't for the faint of heart. It is dirty, and requires hard work.

The problem is 80% of what makes a job enjoyable is your coworkers. I'm great friends with all of mine. If the people you work with suck, so will the job.

I'm unemployed so i got the hobo part down

>How do you balance it to still being playable?
My equipment is a food delivery bag and a Prius.

Then again, I never have to deal with Red Wagon Pizza's dogshit, so net gain.

The other part isn't so hard either.

You don't balance neet fuck with anything, you just leave it to die.

No, spells are actually npm modules.
Every day you need to reconfigure your task manager because some update broke your workflow.

No. Just no. I'd be the innkeeper, and screw putting up with the steady stream of "adventurers".

As a Retail Associate (shelf-stocking bitch), I like to think of myself as a shitty Artificer, that has whatever's appropriate for the situation on hand, but it's always at the bottom of the bag of holding, or in the back of the trap laden arcane vault.

>student
I'm an apprentice to I suppose.

Uni student.
I guess I am the shit class called something like, dunno, "Adventurer" which doesn't have any inherent bonuses except maybe access to loads of basic feats.
The one class you wanna get out fast, or that you only use to min-max another.

I am actually an Engineering student, but till now l've only done basic stuff so no trebuchets for me.

I don't. If I have a profession, I won't be desperate enough to go tomb robbing.

>If I have a profession, I won't be desperate enough to go tomb robbing.
It's called archeology.

Teach me your secrets.

Software Engineer here. I'd imagine my class is similar to a mage, lot of prep but has great utility and potentially catastrophic effects. If we go off the basis that the fighter for example can't use a computer....

Uni Student, Library and information science major.

So, An apprentice scholar. Eh, could be way worse.

THE SHITOMANCER!

An Scribe focused on writing and enforcing the laws. Maybe even a proto-prosecutor.

Different topic, same vein. What would your real life stat bloc be? Assuming we take typical D&D?

I can answer that real quick
9STR (working on it)
9DEX
12CON
12INT
13WIS
8CHR
I would also think I have a feature added to me that rerolls critical failures and critical successes

>Industrial worker
I'm the very definition of an NPC

>Assuming we take typical D&D?
How about no?

S: 3
P: 5
E: 4
C: 5
I: 7
A: 7
L: 10

Small Frame / Chem Reliant
Sneak / Science / Repair

>Stock Clerk
Item specialist. And I can throw brake drums and fifth wheel top plates at people for massive damage.

>They're putting a living complex in the lich's dungeon. It's completely underground but there's a gym and it's rent controlled