How do you punish players who don't take your campaign seriously?

Ok so basically I had a decent campaign going for once but they started making retarded meme characters and having orgasm screeches every time one of them rolled a 20. Also one of them kept going off solo then whining that I didn't kill him with "rocks fall" bullshit instead of telling him to stop themselves. So I basically had him killed by running into a monster he literally could not have defeated. Now I realized I enjoyed it and I am looking forward to killing 2 other characters in the group that are either overpowered or the players annoy me.

These two are correct.

There's only two scenarios here, OP. Either you have rigid expectations for how players should interact with your world, or your players are just the kinds of people who will never take anything seriously.

Kill yourself. :)

If you feel the need to 'punish' your players, you're a fucking awful GM.

Talk to them. You're all there to create an enjoyable experience as a group. So fucking talk to them like reasonable human beings.

Explain the expectations you have and what you get out of the game, have them do the same. Discuss and negotiate as a group to find a satisfactory compromise, or agree to go separate ways if the playstyles people prefer are incompatible.

There are many nuances and different contexts this may be applied, but with that basic principle in mind there is no basis for ever 'punishing', 'training' or otherwise manipulating your players as a GM. They are not your students or your prisoners. They're friends who you want to have a good time with. If you think of them in those terms you show a total lack of respect for them and just come off as an asshole.

by not recruiting them into my game to begin with.

No tendies for GBP for them

>"punish"

Who actually uses this word in reference to a fucking game of pretend?

>Playing serious games

OP, it's like you have autism

I wouldnt say its a pinishment, but when i GM i have a tendency to give back what they put in. If your character doesn't "invest" in the world, it wont invest in them. This is usually in the form of NPC allies, favor with certain factions, and how their superiors and underlings treat them. To a lesser extent, i also find myself giving more personal plot hooks to those invested mainly because I know they will bite based on how their character acts.

Not to say people who are antisocial wont get anything, but its not going to be as rich or feel as good because i cant gauge them well. Never seen it do much harm though, because at least in my experience those players do it more for the numbers than anything.

I find myself doing this naturally, although I sometimes feel bad about it.

But... At the same time, the more a player gives me the more I have to work with. I'll always try to engage with players, to give them all things in the setting that should appeal to them, that they can connect with and get involved with, but some players are always more active than others.

I worry it might seem that I'm playing favourites, that certain people just get more stuff, but every time I try to redress the balance, to offer more options and such to the less active players, they either ignore them or squander them to the point I give up, although the anxiety never goes away.

>
But... At the same time, the more a player gives me the more I have to work with. I'll always try to engage with players, to give them all things in the setting that should appeal to them, that they can connect with and get involved with, but some players are always more active than others.

Exactly. Its not entirely intentional (personal/small group hooks are the main thing thats my fault, but i stand by the idea that most those wouldn't just fall into someones lap, you gotta build a foundation and so those players reap what they sow), but still feel a bit bad for doing it.

Ive played with my group for a long while now in the 1 campaign ive done/doing, and i think its just a conflict of style. They came into it with more experience with tabletop and did the typical no backstory thing. My fix to that was say they were a foreigner seeing the ways of this nation to better their own and have yet to even try to roll with the "new culture", prefering to just murder hobo about.

>If you feel the need to 'punish' your players, you're a fucking awful GM.

No. If they want me to spend time creating a campaign for them to play in, they can at least take it seriously. Not try to fuck every female NPC for no reason, or play joke / meme characters, or other chaotic randumb shit.

> normalfags who only play RPGs for entertainment

I bet you think the most important thing about RPGs is "having fun."

>implying it isn't the most important thing

They're either a troll or irredeemably stupid user. Either way, they're not worth replying to.

It can be argued that RPGs and other leisure activities don't need to be 'fun', but instead must be compelling in some way (Harrowing movies, videogames like This War of Mine), but in the vast majority of cases people are looking for fun, which is entirely valid and no better or worse than the other potential kinds.

I know, just playing around. Also, This War of Mine? Never heard of it, what's it like?

A very interesting game, you play the surviving civilians in a city in the middle of a civil war, desperately struggling to stay alive, to protect the people close to you and to gather the supplies needed to get through.

It is not a fun game. It is difficult, desperate and harsh, with incredibly punishing mechanics and an incredibly bleak setting where you can find yourself the villain just through trying to get by.

But as an experience, capturing the horror of that terrible situation? It's a fucking masterpiece.

As I thought. You are an idiot who should go back to playing Cards Against Humanity. RPGs are not for you and you are the reason i include "what is the most important part of RPGs?" on my questionnaires for ALL new players who want to be part of one of my spectacular campaigns.

Anyone who answers "fun" is immediately out of the running.

How do you know they're spectacular if you never actually run them for anyone?

Actually, that must be part of how you support your delusion. Makes sense. You can believe yourself to be the greatest GM in the world if you reject all potential players so it's never put to the test.

Get new players. Really that simple.

Shitstains like and
They can't be reasoned with. They believe they are entitled to do whatever they want. So toss out that shit and get new ones.

I would call you an autist that's been here too logn, but I think I might be the autistic one for being able to recognize anonymous posters by how and what they type.

Here's your (You), regardless.

And anyone who's out of the running for your campaigns dodged a bullet, so it's a win-win.

The players aren't there for your narrative. You are there for the players' enjoyment. If you want people to respect your narrative, go write a goddamn book.

Even if you don't write a book, get off your high horse and quit GMing forever.

Depends. The first question you need to have answered is why the disruptive individual is seemingly disconnected from the campaign. It could be something as simple as them having lost track of what was going on at some point and due to never getting caught-up on events losing interest.

Perhaps they made a character that doesn't gel with the current story? In this case you could talk to them outside the game and ask if they want to roll-up a new character.

The most likely situation is that what the player imagined the game would be and what the GM is running are so different that the player has found themselves without motivation to even attempt to engage with the plot.

It is also possible that you found a shitty person who is one of those "lolsorandum" types who will never fit into any serious game.

Regardless of from where this problem stems OP the GM shouldn't seek to punish players but instead they should talk to their players to see why it is the player is acting the way they are and seek to take constructive criticism of their campaign to heart so that they may forge a better game.

Come now. Even though "fun" is a nebulous answer you need only prod them to elaborate a bit so that you may better create a world for them.

I myself think one of the most important things about RPGs is the capability for carrying out thought experiments but I do recognize the need for fun.

What do you think the most important thing about RPGs is?

You're either mistaking "fun" for referring only to simple meaningless distraction, you're so far up your own ass that you're blind now, or you're a troll.

autism

I don't "punish" players, but I also don't hold back from taking a very stupid call to its logical conclusion. Any negative consequences the players fail to avoid are not "punishment," they are the consequences of their own actions in keeping with the rules of the setting.

>Obviously the guards were going to show up, you idiots. Have fun being wanted criminals in this city until you pay the fine or bribe an official.

>You grabbed a pulsating red organ, whose "roots" ran through an animated corpse and detected as "seriously evil shit" according to the paladin, with your BARE FUCKING HANDS. Roll Constitution, retard.

>You tried to steal from your fellow PC. No, I didn't try to stop you, just like I'm not trying to stop him from kicking your nuts into your torso. If you don't want people to be angry with you, don't do shit that makes them angry.

It pisses me off that players seem to expect me to either be "The Enemy" or their maiden aunt. I'm not here to throw endless curveballs and mimics at you, but I'm also not here to hold your hand or wipe your ass. I'm here to entertain and challenge you as you improvise a story in a world I've built, and its about as trying as it sounds without you throwing shit at the walls and expecting me to scrape it off.

I have a handful of quantum ogres ready at all times

ITT: Butthurt, pretentious GMs who blame their players for their shitty games.

Have fun trying to convince people a hobby isn't about enjoying yourself you sad little neckbeard.

Call a crusade on them

>How do you punish players who don't take your campaign seriously?
Easy.
While wearing sterile gloves, make an incision with a sterile scalpel blade through the skin of the scrotum. The incision will need to be just large enough for the testicles to fit through.
Then apply pressure between the testicle and body in order to pop out the testicle. After the testicle is partway out of the scrotum, use your fingers to pull the testicle out the rest of the way.
Then apply emasculators, which is an instrument that crushes and severs the spermatic cord, across the whole structure or make an incision through the tough fibrous tunic that covers the testicle.
Leave the emasculator in place for at least two minutes to crush and seal the blood vessels. Next, cut the cords that are on the side of the emasculator that is furthest away from the body. After the cords have been cut, the device will be slowly released.

Why?
How do you do it?

...

>You grabbed a pulsating red organ, whose "roots" ran through an animated corpse and detected as "seriously evil shit" according to the paladin, with your BARE FUCKING HANDS

>There's only two scenarios here
How close minded can someone be?

>How close minded can someone be?
There's only one scenario here.

>punish
>for not partaking in a social activity in the way you'd like them to
>not even talking to them, or trying to find other players, just outright punishing them
I know this is 100% a bait thread, but there is unfortunately people out there who really are autistic enough to "punish" players.

...

>quantum ogres ready at all times
They don't take quantum breaks?

>people actually think he's serious
For fucks sake anons.

they do, and don't.

If your players aren't serious tell them to be serious
If your players can't or don't want to be then kick them out
But either way, TELL THEM FIRST
DON'T BE A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, SOCIALLY RETARDED MONGOLOID.

>Butthurt, pretentious GMs who blame their players for their shitty games.

No, there are players who will, no matter the quality of the campaign, shit around and do stupid things, because they lack the creative capacity to engage in a roleplaying game for anything but cheap exploitative fun.

The only time I ''punished'' my player is when they do stupidly retarded shit

I had a fuckign PALADIN encourage the wizard to summon a demon jsut so he could best him in combat. Dumbfuck

It's psyching me out. Is it really always the same dude, or am I just seeing the same bait getting bitten over and over again?

"I notice you guys joking around a lot and not taking events seriously. Were you intending to have a more serious campaign, or something fun to screw around in? I need to know before I continue to design content, so I can give you things I know you'll enjoy."

But I am serious.

If your purpose in playing D&D is "to have fun" then you are outright proving that you have zero understanding of what makes roleplaying unique as a hobby. If you just want to roll dice and fuck around, maybe you should play monopoly. Or Cards Against Humanity, which is much more fitting to someone whose sole goal is "fun."

Because let's face it: RPGs aren't really THAT fun. They aren't fucking orgasms. If your sole goal in a recreational activity is to "have fun" you are better off going to a bar and getting drunk. Or shooting up heroin. Or playing some video games.

People play RPGs for the creative satisfaction and fulfillment that they provide, as well as the unique mental experience of controlling a story that forms organically rather than with a single guiding hand in its creation. There are no plot holes in an RPG because players are usually acting in their best interests (except perhaps in the more cancerous of "story games" but even some of those are pretty good).

But, thanks to shit like Cards Against Humanity and Critical Role, people no longer care about creating a good story. Half of them just want to fuck around. Their only creative influences are Skyrim and Dark Scrolls, or else some terrible anime, so they try to create characters based off of that. Then give them "gimmicks" that 90% of the time are horribly executed, and are grating rather than entertaining. A lot of times they just want to fuck up the game and do stupid shit. Then screech when they roll a natural 20 like the die controls their endorphins. The shriek that women make when they roll this number (thanks to conditioning from Critical Roll and similar shows) has caused me to refuse several female players from my games. Not that the autistic bawling laughter of male players is much better.

They hijack it for simple hedonistic enjoyment. If a player is out for "fun", then you have just found a player who is out to ruin your campaign.

>And anyone who's out of the running for your campaigns dodged a bullet, so it's a win-win.

You clearly have never played in one of my campaigns. Listen dude, I have YEARS of experience as a DM. I have run a dozen different RPG systems and am usually running 2 to 3 campaigns at once, and that's not including the ones that are on hiatus for various reasons. I have all manner of items and set ups in my personal gaming lair which I have invested over 1000 dollars into. I also cook and make snacks for players in my campaigns. Most of these people are my friends but I add people to my group from time to time and they are usually amazed by the talent I display, I juggle all manner of plotlines and run great combats that are fast but still engaging. I would estimate I've run over 30 campaigns at this point that lasted over 10 sessions. Some of them lasted for hundreds of sessions and they are stories that the players still share to this day. Now obviously I cannot claim all of the credit for these stories, but I fulfilled the role of Gamemaster to near-perfection. I have honed and mastered my craft: of description, of rules knowledge, of interweaving plotlines that can respond to the characters' actions, and blending the in-game story elements to be all but a well-written TV episode. I have had people offer me money to GM for them, unsolicited. If you think Matt Mercer is a good DM then you have never experienced good DMing, which is quite likely given that something like 70% of Veeky Forums has never actually played an RPG, merely watched one on Critical Roll or some other god-awful podcast of staged action, bearded fat-asses, and obnoxious roasties. That is not what real gaming is like. Nor is it listening to some sad sack drone on over the mic on roll20 while his wife's son bawls in the background. If that is worth 10 bucks, then my GMing is worth fifty easily.

Actually reasonable advice. Surprised other's don't agree

good ol 'tism. Also nice walltext, no surprise people hate playing with you

nice pasta

Wow. You must be utterly dead inside.

I have the same problem.

Last week I had a quest exploring a ghost ship seen floating off the coast. Two of my players swam over to it, but one player decided he couldn't be bothered to do the quest and just sat on the shore (as in he sat on his fucking phone)

Also the two who did the quest, without continual hinting of rewards they just kept trying to leave the ship, even though it was clearly a quest i'd set up. They were like "Oh the crew are missing, let's go"

>the creative satisfaction and fulfillment that they provide
We humans call this "fun"

Did two people post two different pastas?

As I and others mentioned, you have an unnecessarily narrow definition of "fun" as purely meaningless and hedonistic. Maybe "enjoyable" is a word you'd be more comfortable. But in any case, if the way you want to enjoy ttrpgs is different from the way your players want to enjoy it, that's not anybody being "wrong", it's just a mismatch. Your version of "fun" or "enjoyment" isn't better or worse, and nobody's playing the game "wrong", you just aren't suited to play games together. Either you all need to figure out a way you can all enjoy the game the ways you want to, or you need to find other players.

Christ, it's like an autism bukkake in here.

>good ol 'tism.

good old nonargument. Try again.

How did you deduce that, exactly? I want to see the exact reasoning.

ITT: OP is autismo, baiting or both

You wanna get semantic? Fun is "enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure." I took that right off of google. That can either mean absolutely nothing (because it means different things to different people) or it can mean pure enjoyment. Endorphins rush. That sort of thing.

The simple fact of the matter is, fun either means something or nothing. If you think it's too narrow, fine: but you can never use "well as long as everyone is having fun" in an argument again.

Because you could stop playing an RPG, take off your clothes, and have a fucking orgy, and that would also be "fun" and probably more fun than the RPG. But if I did that at your game you would probably be pissed at me. Why? Because you wanted to play an RPG. And an orgy is not an RPG. And you know what? Neither is this stupid-ass Cards-Against-Humanity-esque bullshit of giggling screeching hipsters playing youtube videos or making references to Dark Scrolls and other video games, because they are so creatively bankrupt they can't even think of anything outside their stupid-ass video games. And you know what? I directly blame Veeky Forums for this, because the greentexts that encourage that sort of behavior are products of this board. Los Tiburnos and Sir Bearington and all the god-awful fucking nat20 stories that pour out of here like shit out of a prolapsed arsehole, have drawn in a crowd of retarded chucklefucks who expect that sort of thing to take place on a daily basis.

I recently had a player in one of my groups show me a few Veeky Forums greentexts on his phone. And he wasn't the only one. These stories have infiltrated the tabletop community, and outside of it, drawing in new players. And these aren't the good stories, these are the stupid meme-tier joke ones that deserved to die out like the stupid childish shit they are. RPGs are childish enough without everyone trying to pull off some epic stunt to post online for upvotes and validation.

Are you Italian?
Because this thread is a pasta factory.

> I lost the argument so I will claim it's all just copypasta that is strangely somehow tailored to exactly what I just said.

There's not really any argument here to lose. You have these bizarre opinions on how games work, they are contrary to my experiences and perspectives on how games work, and I will not accept your opinion as fact.

But I do know I've seen these points before expressed basically verbatim.

Yeah, but now, whenever this shit pops up again, we can get the thread closed earlier with this concentrated autism!
See, a silver lining.

Now, I believe "pasta factory" could also imply the creation of new pasta, not just the regurgitation of old one.
What is your stance on this issue?

He's right. If you have players being asses, simply abandon them and freeze them out.

>reasoning
>about feelings
See, your 'argument' ignores the fact that fun is a subjective and personal meaudurment that precludes quantification for a number of reasons.

You're dead inside because all you can think about is how other people having fun in ways you disapporive of is not just bad, but horrible and should be disallowed, and furthermore all people who have fun differently are horrible. Your way is the only right way, and you're time and thought and skillsa re worth more than all others.

You're so self centered it never even occurred to you that you might not only be wrong, but you are wrong for the very reasoning you are using to make your argument.

You're dead inside because you can't empathize with anyone or anything.

> reddit spacing

No wonder you think these opinions are bizarre. Your main motivation for playing games is to collect the most ridiculous nat20 or nat1 scenario possible to post on /r/d&d for upvotes. You play RPGs dishonestly, for the wrong reasons, and thus your "fun" is neither important nor relevant to ANY discussion of what a DM should do in a certain RPG situation. Simply put, you are not an RPG player, you are a poseur who got his start playing Cards Against Humanity and you think that the point of all games is to roar in autistic laughter. Guess what? It's not. There is more to these games than you will ever see or understand because you are too blinded by your smartphone-driven ADHD need for constant stimulation and interest. Go back to playing MMOs and jam your finger into the F1 key until your fucking heart explodes. No one really cares what you do, so long as it's not RPGs. They are not meant to make you laugh, they are not meant to be cheap easy entertainment, they are not meant to be comedy. Stop watching Roll20 and thinking that everyone is goddamn Matt Mercer and his roastie harem. It's not. This isn't fucking roosterteeth where you listen to a bunch of 20-something men chorusing their shitty laughter over a bad microphone so you can stream your game on Twitch for shekels. Just stop. You do not belong, stop raping a hobby that was actually about something good and creative, something that will never understand or are capable of comprehending, because it doesn't move fast enough for you, it isn't cool enough or hip enough or current enough for you. Just get out and stop making things difficult for everyone, including yourself.

You are an unfortunate person. I'm sorry life treats you like you deserve.

Okay this one legitimately made me laugh because I love how breaking apart paragraphs is apparently a reddit thing.

>See, your 'argument' ignores the fact that fun is a subjective and personal meaudurment that precludes quantification for a number of reasons.

No, I understand that. You didn't see me adding up numbers, here, did you? You can play whatever games you want but we are free to exlcude you. And some of us are getting sick of the normalfag invasion into TTRPGs and are starting to fight back.

> You're dead inside because all you can think about is how other people having fun in ways you disapporive of is not just bad, but horrible and should be disallowed, and furthermore all people who have fun differently are horrible. Your way is the only right way, and you're time and thought and skills are worth more than all others.

How does that mean I am dead inside. I fail to see how that mindset is depressing in any way shape or form, or that it means I lack empathy. I have empathy. I just think these people are fucking retarded. You could probably empathize with Ted Kaczynski if you tried hard enough, but that doesn't mean he's not still a fucking retard.

> the amount of fun a system gives a person is the only measure of its quality

Interesting.

D&D 3.5 probably has given more enjoyment than any other game except maybe 5e. But even so, 3.5 has been around longer, and thus for another few years, it will be objectively better than 5e, according to Mr Rage here.

Hmm maybe this stupid-ass tripfag doesn't understand a fucking thing about game design, and just because he types in all caps for his gimmick, doesn't mean he is right?

I mean the fact that you hit the enter button twice after quoting my post. Also, each sentence does not need a paragraph break. You're not writing a fucking essay. You don't need to hit Enter after every period.

>fight back agaisnt the invasion of normalfags
user...you are the problem with games. You have forgotten what the word 'play' means.

Let's instead talk about something actually important:
>Alfredo, Bolognese or Marinara?

Since you're something of an expert on the topic, what do you think?

Not him but you did that earlier

I prefer marinara, but with a bit of extra garlic. Add in some diced spicy Italian Sausage and serve with a side salad.

Depends on the noodle. In most cases I go for marinara, but if I got angel hair, I'll indulge in some alfredo.

>You have forgotten what the word 'play' means.

That's because I don't play RPGs. I live them.

I also ran a game with a guy who literally believes magic = 100% unreal = silly.
Therefore, every fantasy setting is silly "make believe" not to be taken seriously, ha ha ha ha ha!
To the point that he acted like rolling dice was funny.
He was not invited to a second session.

>Is it really always the same dude, or am I just seeing the same bait getting bitten over and over again?
Can you explain the functional difference?

Anyway, it was determined long ago that we're all just one really, really drunk Finn arguing with himself over the internet.

>RPGs aren't really THAT fun. They aren't fucking orgasms.
Yeah, you're definitely not doing it right.
Sorry about your loss pal.

.......and this is where you outed yourself as a schizoidal personality disorder suffering narcissist.

I think we're done here.

> tumblr-tier amateur mental health diagnosis
> "i think we're done here"

Nice job outing yourself as an idiot. Fortunately I don't need a medical degree to diagnose that one, however, you are not a psychologist therefore you cannot say any of the things you just said with any validity. This isn't Tumblr, you can't dump a bunch of shit you learned in your community college psych 101 class and pretend it has any merit.

Yeah I would kick that player too.

>I live them

There is a phrase I heard once that I have a lot of respect for.
Try to hear it without any religious connotation, and instead think of it like "Nature abhors a vacuum."

Here it is: "God hates a purposeless thing."

So I ask you, "To what end?"
To what purpose was your post written?

fpbp

>Actually reasonable advice. Surprised other's don't agree
It's sound advice in a shit thread.
Like a breeze in a room full of flatulence, it's refreshing but not fully enjoyed as it might be elsewhere, especially by those choosing to remain cloistered in the cloud.

Heh
Okay, I laughed at that.

I don't. If player's aren't taking something seriously, it's either because my campaign isn't serious-worthy, because the players are nervous for some reason, or because they are the type that will never take it seriously. I'm not the type to get angry if someone isn't as invested into my magical realm as I am.

You can pratically smell the fedora and cheeto dust

>implying anyone in italy eats that shit amerifat call pasta