The elves respond to the pope's call

>The elves respond to the pope's call

Other urls found in this thread:

gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=jin_(mugenjin)&pid=84
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Can they do something against those shitty pagan horsearcher?

Why, they hate drow. There's no reason they'd go to save the Byzzies.

>they march against the dragons and the hordes of dragonfored curved blade-wielding kobold servants that have been making raids on their territory
>Dragon religion and elf religion is similar with slight differences, dragon being more about dominance and respect to authority
>Ultimate goal is an attempt to reclaim the sacred mountain of both religions

Tolkiens's elves were like super Catholic, because Tolkien was super Catholic.

And what are we supposed to do with this thread, now that it is here?

No.

>a thousand years later the dwarves manipulate the elves into accepting draconics into their forest by the millions, because the two races have hated each other for forever and the dwarves need to protect their gold

Shit, it all makes sense.

>Jesus laughs maniacally as Odin fails at damage control

>the elves respond to the pope's call
>in return, the pope will allow elves freedom of religion outside of human cities
>elves fight valiantly, many are converted to catholicism
>pope dicks over the elves and goes back on promise
>many catholic elves join the new crusade against the heretic forest elves

>Meanwhile, the elves have all abandoned God based on some writings by a bunch of humans

>Baltic Crusades

10/10 would purge pointy-eared Cathars again.

...

>forest elves convert to Christianity
>they join forces with the other Catholic elves against the crusaders, whom have become a burden

....I mean, on the one hand, fucking Star Wars EU.
On the other hand, I think I can take random cat people more seriously than Albigensian heretics.

>The Elves agree to sack a city in return for free passage on Venetian boats.
>The Elves fucking murder everyone in Zara
>The pope promptly excommunicates every Elf and every Venetian in the world. He technically hasn't unexcommunicated the Venetians yet.
>The Elves don't care, and go on to sack Constantinople
>Because of this, the last holdout of the Roman Empire falls to the Turkic hordes.
>Eight-hundred-thirteen years later the Orthodox are still butthurt

>Halflings are angry at being constantly jewed over by the pope and declare their own special version of the religion before being protestant is even a thing
>Pope sends his remaining elves at heretic halflings
>...and that, dear kids, is why elves are a dying race today.

> On the other hand, I think I can take random cat people more seriously than Albigensian heretics.

Considering the real life Cathars were pacifists, that's really not saying much.

>the, I get all my history of the crusades from Orthodox shitposting, poster

Read Madden's book on either Enrico Dandolo or the 4th Crusade.

Take seriously in general, not just as a threat.
Gnosticism overrated as fuck.

>Considering the real life Cathars were pacifists

Impressive that they assassinated that Papal envoy while being pacifists.

>you will never date a halfling dog rider qt

After the war, halflings are jewed hard by the pope, catholicism remains strong and the protestants are gradually killed or ousted until all of the halflings are catholic again. To this day, the most glorious moment in the halfling history is a war fought for literally nothing.

Hey, name another catholic heresy that allows me to use my women for something other than heirs. Female rulers slutting it up gets me rock hard, baby.

>HALFLINGS ARE A PROUD WARRIOR RACE, NEVER FORGET THAT

>I SEE YOU BROUGHT YOUR FORMAL TRACKSUIT, SIT NEXT TO ME BROTHER, AND LET ME OPEN YOU A BAGENDSNER WITH MY CROWBAR

>WE SHALL TALK AGAIN ABOUT HOW IF WE FOUGHT BACK AGAINST THE FOREST ELVES PROPERLY AND HAD NOT BEEN BETRAYED BY OUR ALLIES AND THE MAYOR, WW2 WOULD NOT HAPPEN

Pierre de Castelnau was likely killed by one of Raymond VI's men. Though Raymond was relatively lenient on the Cathars, he was not one himself.

For someone living in the middle ages, gnosticism makes way more sense than catholicism. Everything physical is filthy, and hell isn't some other place that you're condemned to after death for lack of faith. You're already there, the world is hell.

t. the most serene merchant

>They respond in the year 2020
>Pope takes over most of Europe with genetically-modified supersoldiers backed up by elven swordsmen and mages
>All European countries, except for Britain and Spain, try to stem the tide
>Pope launches nukes at Middle East, promises elves that once the radiation clears the land is theirs once the war is over
>USA owned satellites are knocked down by missiles originating from Russia. In truth, elves have infiltrated Russia and used its missiles to attack America, goading it to attack Russia
>Australia is under attack by Orcs who want to make it their own land. Elves launch magic nukes, orcs are enslaved by the Pope.

Technically I'm not sure they can be considered catholics, that would be like saying Adam and Eve are catholics.

>He gets his information of Medieval Europe from Game of Thrones

Living in the Middle Ages wasn't like living in Hell you fucking spastic.

People lived normal, comfortable lives, wars tended to be short affairs with minimal impact to the non-martial population.

The only times it really sucked was during plague years or some of the wars where civilians were targeted ala Hundred Years War.

And those were rare.

>He gets his information of Medieval Europe from Game of Thrones
> People lived normal, comfortable lives
Hardly. Between heavy manual labor due to a lack of more advanced tools and cultivation techniques and a lack of medical knowledge, getting an injury that could develop into a fatal infection was quite easy. On top of that, this was a time when things like water quality were a giant mystery, and as such disease outbreaks were common and potentially deadly.

It may be popular on Veeky Forums to wax nostalgic about the middle ages, but you need only look at things like the infant mortality rate to see that it wasn't a pleasant time.

During the plague sure. But it wasn't that bad normally.

>It's the 30 years war, but it's between catholic elves and catholic humans

>The division of Islam into Dwarven and Human branches goes far back in Muslim history to the aftermath of the death of the Prophet Muhammad. Its repercussions have rippled through history, with periods of peace and periods of war. With the recent turmoil, the conflict between Shiite Dwarf and Sunni Human is once again a driving force behind events in the Middle East

>The only times it really sucked was during plague years
Or famines and draughts which happened regularly and led to other unpleasant things

>People lived normal, comfortable lives, wars tended to be short affairs with minimal impact to the non-martial population.
While the war bit is true, there was a much higher level of every day violence, due to local law enforcement uually being pretty shit.

> due to local law enforcement usually being pretty shit.
More like non existent. What we think of as law enforcement is an invention of the 1800s. Law enforcement in the 1200s was basically just lynching.

> people still buying into the dung ages myth
Someone should gas hollywood already. I thought Veeky Forums was better than this.

technically technically they are a successful blend of biblical angels, tuatha de danann and germanic/scandinavian elves

>> people still buying into the dung ages myth
Calm your tits, famines were norm of life before 19th century. Modern history of my country starts with 3 year long famine that depleted all reserves the government had prepared in case of disaster.

Nigger, we got Judicial Records that show the amount of violent crime going on during that period and that's not even factoring in the stuff that got hushed up by the local lords.

Lynching was common. But there were other punishments for lesser crimes. Branding, the stocks, flogging, fines etc.

I kind of prefer the old timey justice to the current prison system.

> I kind of prefer the old timey justice to the current prison system.
Depending on you live there is either some sad truth to that or absolutely none. Either way, there are criminal justice systems in use today that are so vastly superior to medieval punishment that it isn't even funny. The issue is just that some countries have their heads up their asses and refuse to implement actually effective systems out of a perverse machismo.

Social realism from just the 19th century described that kind of a thing as very metal and not very fair. Les Miserables come to mind.

>I kind of prefer the old timey justice to the current prison system.
Yeah, abusing and maiming people sure beats treating them with at least some dignity.

A day of humiliation and a few bruises is better than spending months incarcerated. You should treat crime as shameful, preserving the dignity of criminals is dumb.

Looking at recidivism rates, it's hard to argue that the system as it stands is working.

> Looking at recidivism rates, it's hard to argue that the system as it stands is working.
Maybe if you're an American, but not all of us have such awful recidivism rates.

I'm all for public degradation punishments, but make it female only

>Tall skinny one third from the front in the nearer row
I think I'm in love. Even if her name is entirely consonants.

To be fair, the US has drastically different recidivism rates by state.

> A day of humiliation and a few bruises is better than spending months incarcerated.
A few months incarceration is better than execution by gibbet, which is the sort of thing that happened a lot in the "old timey justice" system that you're pining after.

Hard to be a recidivist after that.

Okay, so everything should be punished by death? Because execution by gibbet was the punishment for theft in medieval England.

>modern justice system
>dignity
You're funny user, do they still have their dignity when they're forced to piss in a cup and have a guy shove his hand up their ass to check for stuff?

No one expects crusader elves

Or what about when they're getting raped up that ass and the supposedly compassionate society they live in treats that like a cross between an additional bonus punishment and one big huge joke, is that dignified?

Death penalty is 99.9999% sure to prevent recidivism.

Yeah, I'm sure killing all the political criminals (ie half the intelligent people in your country) will not backfire.

You've also got to understand that there were no investigation methods back then, so framing somebody was infinitely easier.

Delete the "forced" and you got a somewhat regalur visit to the doctor. People manage to go through this without their souls being crushed.

Do you honestly think that any of this is in any kind exclusive to modern law enforcement?

Delete forced from rape and it becomes regular sex. That doesn't mean rape is fine.

>bad shit still happens therefore we're no better

Look up the term "false equivalency" and then rethink the shit that comes out of your mouth.

Execution of the entire population will prevent all crime.

t. Judge Death

>That doesn't mean rape is fine.
Yeah, because in your analogy it stops being rape, while in mine it's still just visit to the doctor.

Most of the time when prisoners have someone shoving a hand up their ass, it's not a doctor doing it.

...

Yeah, it's weird how america uses its prisons as rape camps, that's not really a thing in countries with comparable levels of prosperity.

Erm, well, kinda… He wrote out a Hail Mary and Paternoster in Elvish:

Hail Mary:
>Aia María quanta Eruanno i Héru as elye · aistana elye imíca nísi · ar aistana i yáve mónalyo Yésus : Aire María Eruo ontaril á hyame rámen úcarindor sí ar lúmesse ya firuvamme : Násie

Paternoster:
>Átaremma i ëa han ëa,na aire esselya, aranielya na tuluva,na care indómelyacemende tambe Erumande. Ámen anta síra ilaurëa massamma,ar ámen apsene úcaremmarsív’ emme apsenet tien i úcarer emmen. Álame tulya úsahtiennamal áme etelehta ulcullo. Násie.

>Shiite Dwarves

Good God, it actually fits, especially with WarHam dorf tendency toward unreasonable grudges and suicidal rage.

SEE? I TOLD YOU!
WE SHOULDN'T KILL THE KNIFE EARS, WE SHOULD CONVERT THEM AND FUCK THE KNIFE EAR OUT OF THEM. THEN WE INVADE ORCISH LANDS, CONVERT THE ORCS TO CATHOLOCISM AND FUCK THE ORC OUT OF THEM. THEN WE GO TO FEY LANDS, CONVERT THE FEY TO CATHOLOCISM AND FUCK THE FEY OUT OF THEM.

I'm fine with Centaur genocide though. Deuteronomy 27:21 and all that.

Well, you'd be smug too if you had your very own space marines attempt to conquer the entirety of Europe.

>Political Criminals
It's their fault for not having a large enough standing army to make killing them problematic.
Stuff like that happens when you go against the king.

That's the first thing that popped in my head too.

>AND FUCK THE KNIFE EAR OUT OF THEM
B-but my vows!

Maltans can marry, Elfnon.

Did you draw that, user? She looks a bit like that one lewd elf.

Catharism was inextricably entwined with the broader political situation in the region. Most of the lords resisting the invasion weren't Cathar, but fought because they resented the imposition of what was seen as a foreign authority, and because their relatives were the ones being killed.

And let's also point out that the region the Cathars grew in was comfy as fuck. Half the reason the crusade took place was politics and economics of the regions having a shitload of good stuff. Which runs counter to the idea of Gnostic bullshit being swallowed because 'the world is hell'; there's probably more to support a 'lazy decadence' argument, though I'm not really a fan of that approach either.

And now I have my character idea. Thanks.

Does this mean we would have modern controversies of priest molesting little elf boys?

Or elf priests molesting human boys.
I've lost track of which species is which ethnicity anymore.

HOW IN THE FUCK IS EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD NOT CONTEMPLATING THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE

CHASTE
RIPE
CORRUPTABLE
ANAL-ONLY-PRONE
ELF
NUNS
AND NOTHING BUT GIRL-ON-GIRL ALL FEMALE BOARDING SCHOOLS RUN BY ELVES IN FUCKING CHASTITY

I AM BEIGN ASSUALTED BY FETISHES BEYOND COMPLEX COHESION AND COMPREHENSION HERE, CATHOLIC SEXUAL TORRTURE DUGEON PORN, RELIGIOUS SACRILIDGE PORN, CHASTITY ENDUCED HOMOSEXUALITY, CORRUPTION THROUGH DEVILS, DEMONS AND VAMPIRES, ULTRA YURI OMNI-DYKE MODE, VIKING ORC MARAUDERAER NUN RAPE

GODDANM POPE, YOU INFERNAL TEASE.


LET US NOW CONTEMPLATE
ELVEN ISLAM CHOCOLATE BROWN LOP-EARED DESERT ELVES IN HIJABS, AND VARIOUS MUSLIM AND ARABIC WEAR

OH MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK

OH SHIT NIGGER YOU RIGHT!

Though, you'd have to change the elf to dwarf with the hijabs.

...

EVERLASTING ELVEN SHOTA CHOIR BOY TRAPS ON HUMAN ONES AND VICE VERSA

STRAIGHT SHOTA WITH CHASTE TRAPS AND ELVEN NUN MILFS.

ALL ELVES HAVE A WHORE-OUT BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION

IMAGINE THE SEXUAL DEATH BOMBINGS UNLEASHED WHEN THE CHASTITY CAGE COMES OFF.


SEXUAL LUST SO HARD IT IMMEDIATELY DETHRONES MALCHATHET AS THE QUEEN OF SUCCUBI AND BECOMES A LEWD ENTROPIC HOLE OF PLEASURE, AND THEN SLAANESH IS BORN, WAIT FUCK

>She looks a bit like that one lewd elf.

Reminder: It happened.

SLAANESH IS EVEN CANON IN D&D, SO ALL THE ELVES ARE GETTING FUCKED, WE'RE TALKING THE ONLY THING KEEPING THESE ELVES FROM NOT MURDER-FUCKING IS THRAZRIDUN ISSUED TIGHT YAHWEH BLESSED CERAMITE CHASTITY CAGES, AND THE KIND OF SEXUAL SUPRESSION THAT ONLY ANA IS CAPABLE OF BEING PLACED UNDER

AND WE'RE MIXING THIS WITH CATHOLISCISM AND FUCKING ELVES.

WE'RE HITTING SEXUAL SHOGGOTH LEVELS OF LEWD, HERE, AND NOT THE MONSTERGIRL SHOGGOTH CRAP, LITERALL AMORPHROUS ALL EXAPANSIVES PRIMORDIAL OOZE LEVELS OF LEWD SHIT SHIT HERE, THE SUCC WILL BE SO POWERFUL YOU WILL FIND THAT THE CHASTE ELF BOOTY IS YOUR NEW PHYLACTERY.

Paizo was never not a mistake.

>not realizing those had nothing to do with Paizo
Publisher=/=writer.

Damn!is this oficial,yes this make me so happy

>this thread

Oh my God...

1)Well, they gave out the paycheck, didn't they?
2)Nothing about Pathfinder makes me think that they have any sort of problem with these sort of articles.
Alternately, just give me the writers' names, that they may be rode down and punished instead.

literally the finale of Kingdom under Fire: The Crusaders.

It is. It's Mugenjin's work.

gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=jin_(mugenjin)&pid=84

...

Easily if the Dwarves would stop being glory hogs and running off to die because they expect the nomads to stand and fight instead of keeping the heavier cavalry at bay. Archers on foot wreck horse archers.

Have you forgotten the gods of your fathers for these shaven men of gold and white robes? Have you forgotten hill, river, and stone for coin and wine and cheese?