Mornington Crescent

Alright Chums and Chumettes, time for a rousing game of Mornington Crescent. Appended Statutes of Worms, no vicounts, country squires permitted as well as dukes and above. Holy Roman Nobility to be decided by player vote. Pepin denunciations only in play on every 34th turn. Wide Gauge Streamliners to be allowed by import only. Extra Line Expansion is also active. The Chunnel is a no go zone. The starting city is Warsaw, Poland.

Okay

Ratuz Arsenal

Ill be starting in 1356 on gropecunt lane

Good move. But a bard start. Watch this, Warterloo from Cockfoster

Are Rollinghams allowed? What about Merry Fizzlebombs?

shlropcrockers only

Svellingfard

no extra lives for those without critical reading skills

Right, I'm going to initiate a Sheffield Stovepipe Maneuver.

i'll go for....The back alley behind southwark.

I drop my flowers, and move along by declaring a Soho Riichi.

Devilry is afoot

Ill take tram through Valben's Thoroughfare

please submit a writ of exorcism for your station of choice

That'll end you up at Thorpe Park.

That'll be five pence

>The starting city is Warsaw, Poland.
Is this in our timeline or the alternate history where Poland was annexed by Britain during WW2?

only in Scrikey's Exacerbation's
decimal or pre?

Clever, but not entirely unexpectrd. I tjink you'll be unpleasantly surprised to find that I've boarded the train for Krakaw and am already halfway through a pack of Digestives.

Decimal.

no you just have to start there
are you illiterate or something

alright, the brandys mine though

So long suckers, I'm on my way to Budapest.

Send the Queen my regards!

alright lads
Im in a bit of pickle
I appear to be stuck in wroclaw

Try taking a steamship down Oder river

im in Danzig now
Ill just cut through the autobahn

I tried an unorthodox stratagem (which is megatarts backwards, according to the dear late Humphrey)
I've ended up on Swindon's magic roundabout.

disenchanting is vague post-worms

Just found myself in Cheltenham... GCHQ headquarters.

Oh my Christ, they really did put a wire tapp on Trump Tower.

I... I just found the piss tape!

Bad form. I move for a disqualification.

What? Kuckvoters' Tears has been a sanctioned move since January.

>Amerifat variant
Nothing is sacred.

Fair move.

You absolute madman ! I'll chomp on a cupcake, and cut my losses by boarding the RMS Lancastria. I mean, what could go wrong ?

Important alert!

The price of cigarettes has risen by 2 cents in Paris.

Mornington Croissant.

Holding my action so I can jump the Channel to Dover then next time someone uses one of the MSA's on the M5.

'the next time', rather.

A bold move good sir.

Cupcakes have been listed as a banned refreshment since the '96 revision. You'll have to re-classify it as a 'frosted muffin' or forfeit your next turn.

Pun-based moves in response to price-hikes are only allowable when the commodity in question constitutes at least 65% of your monthly expenditures. We'll need to see some sort of financial proof if you don't want to get sent back all the way back to Morden.

Anyhow, I use my 'bomb scare' token to shut down Earl's Court for the next six hours and then move to West Brompton via the A3220.

I use my daily "Summon Bobbies" to reduce the Earl's Court Shutdown to 2 hours. Now you have to bid at least 4 bits or take a derail tag.

And no, this doesn't go against the ruling from the Provinical Tournament of 1992, the entire event was retconned in 2005.

Jokes on all you faggots, I'm going to pull off the LNER Limbo.

Jokes on you, my good sir, as I have already bought the morning's paper and flagged a cabby bound for Ochota. While this does mean I take the [Queasy Query] debuff in the stomach region due to being forced to read in a moving vehicle, you'll find my tumtum is chock full of Biscuits and Gravy, reducing the penalty I take by a third!

>INB4 "he didn't have bangers-n-mash for supper last night."

The [Familiar Fed Feeling] buff is not as brilliant as everyone claims it to be. While the stat increases are nice, it's by no means the be-all-end-all of Man-Made-Meals.

Pity the wifey has a book reading tonight. I could use a break from my own cooking, eh chaps?

Rolled 14 (1d15)

I start my day afflicted by chronic insomnia and roll to resist the creeping ennui. If I succeed, I'm immune to pyschics debuffs all day Thanks to 'it can't get any worse'

>Eating
Beer and cigarettes are the most effective combo.

My character appears naked and hung-over in Bosworth.

All I need to do is find a cab and I'll be at the finish line!

... damn, forgot I was naked though

> Beer
> Not subsisting entirely on gin and red bull

I think I've had it, lads; got shot by coppers while trying to take a shortcut through Parliament.

A Guy Fawkes mask is essential for that maneuver

I'm going to huff myself and the next three people to Holborn.

A carriage swerves around the bend, veering wildly towards the pavement upon which you stand. A wild eyed, bearded moor holds the reins.

What do?

It's spelt Viscount

I'll do a three-quarter from Stanmore to Wembly Park.

Oh come the fuck on, that's just poor sportsmanship. Well, if I can't three-quarter over to Wembly Park, then... hold on, says here that they're refurbishing the escalators at Holborn. I'm a bit rusty on my knowledge of Worms, am I allowed to take a once-over now?

Only if you've got the Well To Do Gent About Town perk and that's gotten harder to float in casual play since the last rules update. And even worse in competitive play! The last time I heard about someone going WTDGAB, it nearly came to fisticuffs!

Chalk Farm should give me acess to the alt three parallel, giving me a definate Lateral with Picadiliy (according to the standard Armatige ruleset of course).

Thursday!

Rolled 42 (1d100)

I call him a feckin' imbecile.

Roll to seduce?

To be fair, the only game of Mornington Crescent that didn't end up in fisticuffs was the Fall of 96, where we had that terrible spot of sunshine, remember?