Rolled 5 (1d22)
Next up, by random roll...
Sigmund Gulbrand, LN male Human Warlord
We’ve got a decent start going on here—bratty kid has his childhood destroyed, has to mature quickly, and swears to make his family great again. Then we get the mentor character coming in to fuck it all up.
Okay, I’m not opposed to the idea of a mentor character, of him adopting an orphan as his ward, or anything along those lines. What bothers me is that this backstory seems to have been built in reverse, starting with a build and going backwards into justifying it. If you’re going to give your character a nodachi, then at least tell us why, it’s not hard. As it is, this reads like an abridged version of the Black Thorn Knights’ flavor text from Path of War. Sigmund could be left out entirely.
From there, the personality rebuilds a bit of good will. He’s not an asshole, but he’s got some nerves that might be easy to touch, and he knows how to calm down. But it’s not without its problems. If he’s not really invested in the cause of his martial tradition, then why the fuck is he still part of their order? More to the point, if you spent so much of your backstory talking about his training to join their order, why is he only paying lip service to them?
And as for the wondering of what his father must have failed at, that’s something that should be actually spelled out. Was he framed? Was it something involving the Stolen Lands, or a particular Brevic noble house? Without an actual goal to be working towards besides “I’m gonna be a noble again”, this seems like a waste of space.
Also, I fail to see how simply gaining a fuckload of gold really furthers his goals. If he’s going to use it to get back into nobility, say how, and give specific examples. If you can’t think of any, then come up with a different ambition for him to be pursuing, one that fits the campaign.