/5eg/ Fifth Edition General:

but... why a spoon, cousin?

Horsecaster?

Give me plothooks for greek adventures

user, it's not gay to be into prostate stimulation.

Or to use a wooden buttplug.

Or to want a strong sturdy pine tree to put his long, hard branch inside you.

Bugbear assassin with a slightly tweaked battlemaster ability probably from multiclass that instead of pushing 15ft pulls 15ft.

Hide somewhere, attack at 15ft and pull target in and use assassin+bugbear ambush ability to kill them in one go.

Find steed allows a spell that targets you to also target your horse, thus allowing duplication of certain spells.

Hercules sidekicks
Go and kill a hydra etc

haha

What did you just call me?

A satyr has an anal disease
... that only semen can cure

Define "Greek".

Which would you rather slog through with your party at lv6?

> Zombie apocalypse that can only be stopped by closing a portal to the negative plane that rests inside a flying pyramid

> Kaiju apocalypse where Tarrasque and other shit awaken and begin destroying everything and each other

> Eldrazi titan awakening

Current setting is a mix between Warhammer Fantasy, Faerun, and old school Japanese RPGs.

what is best amazon product for dry erase maps?

And any recommendations on cheap, high quantity miniature bundles?

Probably zombies, because zombies have pretty distinct weaknesses and strengths, players can do stuff to prevent zombies rising after death, etc.

You know about the Odyssey, right?
Use Circe. There's an island in the middle of nowhere that nobody ever returns from- Maybe someone important to the PC's goes missing, or they're hired to investigate. There's a witch/oracle/whoever and some magic shenanigans going on

The second.
Zombies are absolutely boring shit to fight 99% of the time.

Zombie in movies: A thing you kill in one hit that, if it grapples you, dooms you in one hit
Zombies in RPGs: A slow fucking blob of hit points that slowly depletes your hit points.

Likewise something homebrew BBEGy probably isn't going to be able to be taken on til the end of the game and is probably going to have all sorts of weird, clashing weaknesses.

So you can't put a bag of holding or a portable hole into one another, but can you put portals to another plane inside?
My character is an artificer with a bag of holding who enjoys botany. Could I get some sort of jar that serves as a portal to the Inner Plane of Mud (water/earth), throw it inside my bag of holding, and have like a portable biome to store plants?

An Oracle's powers have faded, the last thing she foresaw was destruction of some sort and the people need her powers back to prevent disaster.
The forestry industry has pushed dryads too far and they've started killing people in the woods indiscriminately.

I'm trying to make a new character for my group who all stoutly refuse to take the game seriously, and I thought of a Warforged who's trying to convince everybody that he's human despite having an abysmal deception skill.
His name is "Dan Made of Flesh"
The problem is that I don't know what class I want to play him as. Nothing that requires a positive charisma bonus, so no Paladin, Sorceror, Warlock, or Bard. I think if I go Ranger I could convince my DM to let me use a Commoner or Bandit as a pet, as just a guy he keeps around to help convince people that he's a fellow human.
Any thoughts?

Not them, but if they're sane enough to spice it up, things like skeletons will be in there since it's basically automatic animate dead, and they're hardly tanks. Honsetly, normal zombies are hardly tanks either. However, they make up for it in numbers. The party might have to think creatively to hold back a horde of zombies and take them at a more managable pace.

And some of the spirits that inhabit more powerful bodies could play smart.

Really, it depends on how shit OP is.

Battlemaster Fighter. Be cold and calculating in fighting.

I was thinking of doing that scenario similar to L4D or World War Z (Novel, not the movie).

Plot wise I was taking notes from Nazi Zombies and just have some evil being controlling them or have them the preferred minions of some Cthulhu-lite monster.

How often have you seen people play half-elves for a reason other than their stats?

That's a good idea.
I was also poking around the UA and thought about going in the opposite direction with a Drunken Master Monk, the idea being that he was brain-damaged in some way in his backstory and now thinks that he's a human, as well as being wobbly and disjointed in combat.

Could be that he thinks every other human is malfunctioning and it's his duty to fix them and lead by virtue of his combat ability. It's like the sit com where the retarded kid shows the adults what they're doing wrong, basically.

How often do we see people play Variant Human for reasons other than their extra feat?

Its still a bunch of stuff that locks you up in melee forever, has low damage for its hit points, and turns a fight into an attrition contest. Battling zombies should be fast paced, but in RPGs its the most protracted slugfest imaginable.

The only thing interesting or compelling about D&D zombies & skeletons (as a combat encounter) is that they are controlled by the necromancer (or whatever), so you have at least *one* interesting enemy on the other team. If you get bogged down in hand to hand, you'd better settle in for a long winter's nap. But if they're controlled by a wizard or whatever, there's one interesting thing there, that you'd better figure out how to wiggle your way around the zombies to get at him or you're fucked.

Also interesting is the way that a party with a paladin and a cleric can probably scatter a lot of them, so they've gotta kill their master before they recover.

My favorite take on undead are spellcasting undead, like liches, vassaliches, quasimancers, krags and t'liz in 2e -- they can be dispatched easily enough (unless they have good defensive spells), IF you commit to melee ASAP. Not quite the same thing, but for an undead apocalypse in a magical world, you need magical undead. Zombies are okay for a muggle world, not so much for D&Dland.

Earthquakes ravage the land, the heroes must try and work out if it's Poseidon, Gaia, Typhon, or any number of other beings causing it.

Oh, and maybe slay a dragon.

>Find steed allows a spell that targets you to also target your horse, thus allowing duplication of certain spells.
Specifically, its a meme because people can't fucking read, and decided that target of self is the same as range of self, and kept insisting that cone of cold could originate from both you and the horse for memedamage, and thus was Bardic Horsecasting. It stopped showing up when it got btfo by Crawford, because both raw and rai they were wrong.

Hello fellow flesh man, this is a fine day for absorbing the light of the sun is it now? Said at night

>why would you play the race with the most ordinary fluff other than a human but for the stats

Gee I wonder?

How about "they mesh with almost all campaign settings and there's every reason they'd be more common than elves, and its even plausible they could be more common than humans?"

>you're a guy
>who isn't a pure human or elf
>that's... about it
>if you want, there is some fucking cringe inducing fluff about "never feels at home in one land or the other" that is probably best ignored

Literally never.

Never played one since I mainly play humans, elves, dwarves, or gnomes.

Do you really WANT to have people play half elves for the roleplaying elements?

I did.
It was hard, I needed to be a half-elf for backstory purposes. But that V. Human feat...

Go cleric.

Claim he worships Zarus, because he discovered he was the god of humans, and decided it was the most human thing to do.

Unfortunately his crude sketches and requests, coupled with Zarus' rarity, meant he actually got directed to the temple of, and invested as a cleric of, Pelor.

And not even the burning hate kind.

I only play elvies, I wuv elvies :3

...

My first character was a half-elf cleric (with, I think, 9 Charisma after racial mod). Chosen entirely for backstory reasons.

poast elvies

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Jason and the Argonauts
The Odyssey
Basically long naval journies, encountering mighty fantastical monsters and occasionally stopping in places where there are plot hooks.
Actually, this seems like it would work perfectly for the average murderhobo party.
Have them be hired by a Jason/Odysseus figure, and maybe have them gradually discover that one of their parents is a god, or they have some other relation to Greek-themed fantastical elements.

...

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I made a character once that was a Half-Elf battlemaster mercenary who was racist towards elves because his dad skipped town after knocking up his mom. Like, not "let's have ourselves a hate crime" racist, he just thought they were flighty and couldn't be trusted with anything too difficult. He also really didn't like people finding out he was a half-elf.
He was probably the most developed character I'd made and I was pretty proud of it, but my party is entirely made up of lolrandom guys and he didn't mesh at all. I abandoned him after my first session.

>about to start a new campaign and briefed my players on the fact that we'd be playing in our own, original setting and sent them a quick rundown document with the basic details of the world
>half of the players read nothing at all
>the other half read the player's handbook from cover to cover and very quickly skimmed the quick rundown
>tfw I'll probably have to repeat that we're not in Forgotten Realms a few times each session

Whats the best way to go about making a bladelock?

NO THALAMAR OR W/E THEY ARE

People keep saying 'But cone of cold doesn't work with it!'
Yes, it doesn't.
However, other spells do.

who died and made you king of shitposting

god

Tome Warlock, Shillelagh, PAM with quarterstaff, and maybe dip Fighter for a shield and better armour.

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i would not put it past a Satyr to try and pull that kind of shit.

The only reason I could think of would be if someone wanted to use a feat as part of their backstory and it wouldn't make sense for their character to learn it in the middle of a campaign.
Like, someone who's trained with a polearm all their life. Are they going to suddenly learn how to use it better halfway through a dungeon crawl?

>told to create a character for our next campaign
>get no setting details other than "original" and some vague references to rome, specifically regarding the color purple, and that it has multiple cities. I expect a drow focus because the DM likes them, but thats a guess
It's a pain in the ass to make a generic enough backstory to fit into generic city with unknown relationships or locales.

I'm pretty much at "was a former slave of some group, was rescued by enemies of that group and/or adventurers, "rescued" and left in a strange city where he didn't speak the language" because fuck if i can do more.

I roll a 1 on suicide, what now?

Kaiju big battles.

Make sure at some point they find an apparatus of kwalish for epic robo on kaiju fight

Not beautiful enough for you?

>cheap, high quantity miniature bundles
I dug up my old Lego figures, there was enough shit to customize them pretty well

>swn test her baleful spells on you again and again and again

I mean, i pick human for plenty of characters because they have less racial baggage and expectations, it helps me make a character that won't be pigeonholed in the minds of the party.

V.Human is just used because its the better option than standard.

Which isn't why its a meme. An ability working as intended, primarily for buffs and healing, isn't a meme. Sanctuary is fucking fantastic, for example. Non-concentration, and stays on the horse even if you attack in subsequent rounds.

You die in an especially embarrassing way, and everyone laughs at your corpse.

Don't.
Make a highly specific backstory, with names, characters, high level threats.
Punish your GM for not giving you enough information.

Or you could act like an adult and ask for more info.

You gain perfect clarity and the will to live and make the world a better place.
Right before you die.

But suicide was his intended outcome, wouldn't embarrassing and public failure be more appropriate?

>Endrolas Everflame, Warmage of Evermeet wn burn your dick+balls, give you a healing elixir, then burn them again, forever

in killing yourself, everyone you've ever loved is overcome with depression. They are unable to move on from your death, blaming themselves due to direct influence or inaction, and spend the rest of their lives mourning you in a state of lethargic depression, never to know happiness again.

as well, the implent with which you chose to off yourself has a tiny hiccup, and takes a full day of excruciating pain before it finally ends your life.

I play one because I've always liked half-elves for whatever reason

he's a druid, his dad was a human noble who for some reason, whether it was a curse or bad luck, was only able to bear a male heir with an elf he had a brief affair with

so he tried to pass off his boy as a human and he was found out and executed, causing the boy to run off into the wilderness and be taken under the wing of an ancient druid

it's nothing spectacular but I have fun with it

And then, a goddess laugh at how I die and reincarnate me in another world.

OP is a druid!

>Working as intended
>Teaming up with your horse to launch meteors around is working as intended
Investiture of flame and melf's minute meteors allow horsecasting-as-not-intended. I can't think of any non-elemental-evil spells off the top of my head, though. Maybe if I go check all the self-buff spells.

How do you go about making a BBEG?
I got an idea for essentially nazi drow/other elves planning to purge the world of all kinds of monsters and other races and the players would need to stop them. How would you design their leader?

Let's say you're a dickass wizard and want to abuse your immense arcane power.

What's the fastest way to create a large pit under someone's feet? Time Stop+ Move Earth?

In my setting Half-elves are mules- they can't reproduce and they're generally shunned by noble society. They rarely get to own land, nor do they get married for traditional reasons.

I'm not trying to be hostile about it, and the little i do have was acquired by my data fishing expeditions. Doesn't help that hes the newest guy in the group, and i barely know him.

Was just pointing out that its a huge pain to not have at least the basic setting info, something we typically have accomplished by playing "setting we all know, except with these differences"

This too. If I want to suicide, I want a crowd of people with nothing better to do but chat about it and tell strangers.

Zeus focked some chick again.

That happened to a Hobgoblin Captain in one of my campaigns. He was rolling shit again and again, watching his soldiers get murdered in horrible, humiliating ways, finally decided to end it on his own terms. And rolled a one.
Even the release of a dignified death was denied to him.

How do I familiarize myself with an established setting? Is there a resource for DMs about the Forgotten Realms or Eberron or something?

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Dynamite.

quads+master art

I set up for a session 0 where everyone would make characters together and I'd answer all questions they might have that the rundown didn't cover. None of them asked any questions even when I asked directly if they had any. They just went silent and didn't say anything at all most of the times

>What is wikipedia
>What is 1d4chan
>What is Tv Tropes

Check the mega. There's a 5e supplement book called Adventurer's Guide to the Sword Coast. We call it SCAG for short. This was a question you could have answered yourself with just a few minutes of browsing and reading.

we also call your mom SKANK for short haha

Thanks. I didn't know that the Sword Coast was part of The Forgotten Realms.

>Thanks. I didn't know that the Sword Coast was part of The Forgotten Realms.

It's the part that matters.