How does one become a paladin?

How does one become a paladin?

Smite

Scream "Jesus" when you murder things.

Got a scholarship.

You commune with god and get a quest. If you complete the quest, sometimes including a secret test of character within the quest that is the true quest, to the gods satisfaction it deems you responsible enough to entrust you with a sliver of its phenomenal cosmic power.

Gotta be touched by the holy spirit. Or just a little touched in general.

>Find god
>Get quest from god
>Do quest
>???
>Become a paladin

Have a stick up your ass bigger than everyone else, you also have to be an attention whore.

By having unshakeable faith in yourself and your code, by having an undying commitment to good and justice and mercy.

DON'T fuck bitches.
Fuck evil.

What about evil bitches?

Can you fuck evil bitches and smite the evil out of them with your holy, blessed hyper-weapon?

inb4

You gotta bring a pair of magic brats up a mountain and go into a weird shrine and talk to a disembodied voice and defend yourself against your inner darkness (the secret is to let it wear itself out attacking you) and bid farewell to your bloodstained past

And then you're level 1!

But on the trip down from the mountain, after getting one-shotted a couple times and spending a few battles face down in the dirt, you'll have caught most of the way up to the rest of the party from the ridiculously inflated EXP at that point in the game. If that's not enough for you you can just grind on those giant flying monsters in the wilderness outside the mountain -- they're vulnerable to your black magic brat's instakill spells.

One does not merely become a paladin, one is called!

They are made by the will of tangible godlike being to satisfy their thrust for adventure.

only if you have a priest/god bless it first to be a purifying weapon of justice.

gotta be upbeat, idealistic, and good at things.

so you can be tortured by reality/GM and become a jaded shell of your former self.

i can't call anything a brat that gives its own life to save the most important thing in a universe, which just happens to be me at the time.

well, to lose paladin-hood require you to fall. So to become one i suppose you have to Rise.

Pic related

By stopping for a moment, looking at the world and then deciding "This is no how it should be".

Step 1: Write "Lawful Good" in the alignment section of your character sheet.
Step 2: Write "Paladin" in the class section of your character sheet.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit