Red flags for DM's

Sounds like an INT/STR rogue specced specifically for dungeon crawling, trap springing, and door breaking at any cost. Not all rogues are sneaky. Actually I really like making fighter-rogue thugs, basically Bron from GoT.

That's my kinda DnD bro.

If you see that as a "red flag" rather than as a great player, you are a shitty DM. That player is woke af.

>using emotes
>on a chinese majong board

:^)

>GoT
>if you don't like it, ur a shit
>woke af

Mmm that is some spicy bait.

I like you. That is what I do too.

No, I carry explosive charges. Why?

...

Mustard master race reporting in.

...what?

Kechup is a context-specific condiment. It's fine on fries and cheap hot dogs.

>elf archer
>buys shurikens

Str niggas ww@!?

You NEVER put catsup on a hotdog

Goat is best friend in a fight. Hard headed, unrelenting, and can get milk from. Sounds like a good friend to have as a traveling partner.

Wouldn't sheep be very hard to train? Like I think they'd be afraid of the gunfire

That said, I'd like to see this executed

Summon Mount and Invisible Servant are both better.

>I'M SO MAD ABOUT ANYTHING POPULAR IT MAKES ME SHIT MYSELF A LITTLE BIT.
Niggas gotta have the STR to lug the dungeon loot, bruh. Knock down the door, nab dat shi and gtfo! Lit loot haul senpai.

Cute cat :3

I'm with you my man. I made sure to have vials of oil and a whistle on my ranger and they saved my life twice

There are anti-magic fields in my muscle wizard's dungeon, just to trap little pantywastes like you.

If you have them, but for your lowbie adventurers/commoner mobs nothing beats the pole.

>female character
>sexual orientation/cup size written on the character sheet

And nobody thought of using a car to ram the ram?

Would have solved the problem pretty quickly, although it would have put a dent in your bumper.

>female player
>female character
>sexual orientation/cup size written on the character sheet
I've seen this a few time.

>13 10 foot poles
>two portable rams
>forgot to buy wheels

At least he's thinking...

NEVER eat a hot dog. That is all lips and asshole.

>Start campaign
>DM makes us track rations
>First session is breaking out of jail
>steal loaf of bread from prison kitchen
>never eat bread
>2 years and many sessions later. Probably about 4 or 5 years of in-game time
>still have loaf of bread in inventory

>anyone who likes ketchup. Ketchup is awful
What a plebeian. Like a lot of people, you probably associate the idea of ketchup with cheap ketchup on biliously awful burgers from a fast food joint, which is why you think you don't like it. You gotta get the good shit, the dijon ketchup.

Fine, I'll just buy a bunch of goats and let the druid handle it.

>female player
>male character
>Dragonborn
>has two penises because, "Lol, lizards have two in real life, right guys!"
>character sheet goes into great detail about the color, texture, girth, and taste (wtf) of each one
>never mentioned or used in actual roleplay

I just don't know anymore...

>That spoiler
Yeah right. If I had a million dollars.

Gotta be pretty stale by now. Sharpen the loaf and use it as a backup weapon against the fey.

>never mentioned or used in actual roleplay
Not at the table, no.

...

>taste

Now my morbid curiosity wants to know what flavors she ascribed to dragonborn cock.

Come on, user, you can't say you didn't know she was using the game for shlick fodder.

Ketchup is basically red tomato-flavored caramel sauce.

>Starting a game of 5e
>Two out of three players show up for first session
>One is a girl
>They both roll casters
>Give them a tagalong gnoll fighter to fill in for the missing player
>Girl's character almost immediately tries to fuck him
>Continues trying to fuck him for the rest of his screentime

Girls are fucking weird, man.

Girls cant be trusted

Wifey material

Jesus Christ, just tackle the thing, it's a fucking goat. It's like people who freak out and run from geese.

Our ancestors who hunted mammoth would be fucking embarrassed of us if they saw videos like this.

>woman masturbating to the sound of your voice
>grossed out
Man what.

>girl masturbating to your voice
>and werewolf menstrual blood drinking

Plus girls can be ugly too, user.

Lies, they all have a unique beauty.

People have fetishes, and generally if her appearance was relevant it'd get a mention.

>Not liking lips and assholes
WHAT ARE YOU A FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGG?

what a fucking pussy, yeah what gets her off is weird but that sounded like prime A fuck scenario the girl was obviously into him and wanted the d. He should have toughed it out and made a move.

>It's fine on fries and cheap hot dogs.
I'd kick you out of my gaming group.

Are you insane? Fries are for chocolate frosties.

So they did find a way to make the ends meet.

>girl masturbating to you reading her erotic fiction about your self insert raping her self insert, then drinking the blood.

FTFY

kek

fags 2bh

If femDragonborn have massive tits then maleDragonborn have boring plain humanoid junk

The female is always humanoid. The male is a scary as fuck monster, thing.

I agree.
Lizard boobs get out.

>Girls are fucking weird, man.
Unlike guys, who only masturbate to the most vanilla softcore.

I noticed that your story didn't end with "so I immediately kicked her out for being creepy". Why is that?

>female has mammalian boobs
>male has a 4-headed echidna penis

sheep don't have claws and can't bite, just wrestle it to the ground.

But I guess manlets can't even get that right.

Just spat out my drink laughing.
Thanks user, i needed that

Fuuuuuck

I just got it.

It's funny because supposedly males are the horny fuckers yet in like every game I had with girls they act far more perverted than dudes.

destroy all girls

you are why humanity will die out within the next few centuries

mayonnaise for fries

i guess females themselves are also pussies for not having sex with everything that moves

She wasn't being creepy. PCs trying to fuck NPCs is not an uncommon occurrence in games. Doesn't make it any less weird. In a different game I had a male with a shapeshifter character who tried to pull a Bugs Bunny-tier move by changing into a sexy lady to get the guard away from his post. Guys are pretty weird too.

He only has to be marginally more attractive than a gnoll, and she might fuck him too...

>being an easy lay will cause the species to go extinct

population control is important.

>talk shit about sexy jutsu

To be entirely fair it's a reasonable approach provided he doesn't just poor into a naked woman infront of the guard. If the player passed by the guard over the course of a week or so, while subtly dropping hints to entice him to moving away from his post, I see no reason why that isn't a valid plan of attack.

Where do I find a group with perverted girls irl?

In the darkest and most humid of shadows

Maybe this is a stereotype but I think females are more into written porn than pictures/videos while males are the opposite.

Any group with single women.

Just be warned. Shit gets weird.

No, nothing like that. He instead chose the "beckon him over from an alley" approach.

To be fair, the market also caters that way.

I'm not sure if it's chicken or the egg though.

I don't know. Girls seem to love doujins. Hell, majority of the most fucked up artists making hentai about giant insects impregnating girls are female.

she was trolling you, or trying to see what you would allow.

Jesus Christ, I'll have to try to dodge ham planets.

Red pelican mustard

>Walk into thread
>people bashing on ketchup and cheap hot dogs.

I'll fight ya all you sick mustard bastards. You too mayo, you're ass kicking has been slow but ready for some time.

You're either well off your whole life or non-american to not have developed a taste for cheap hot dogs.

Oh and to contribute to the thread:

anyone that uses the term "woke af" or senpai in nearly every sentence is usually shitty.

huh, i didn't know that they autocorrect the abbreviation for family, the first 3 letters of the word, to senpai.

I like to use "pham" to dodge the autofilter

Horseradish master race here.

You like sugared tomato jizz on your food and you think you can pass judgement on others?
Burgers, mang..

Stop liking what i don't

>cheap sausages
Do you have a deathwish, you madman? I don't even care that you're a disgusting murkan, every cheap sausage is indisgestion at best.

>that image

>Heinz has actual tomato paste in it
Yeah, as if. And don't try to tell me other american brands are somehow different.