ITT dumb shit you've had GMs say or do

>playing Dungeons and Dragons
>the GM never designs any dungeons for use to delve into because "they'd take too long to clear"
>spend most sessions mucking about in convoluted intrigue plots instead of being heroic adventurers

I'm a Forever DM so I can't contribute much, but if the dungeons take too long to clear just draw smaller ones, not designing dungeons is lazy DMing.

Btw, nothing wrong with intrigue plots, they make the adventure more interesting.

True, but I'd bet good money that any GM too lazy to make a dungeon isn't going to be writing grade-A intrigue plots either. He's probably winging it entirely, meaning the twists in the plot are asspulls with no foreshadowing.

inb4 some fag comes in screeching about how there's no middle ground between autistic CRPG railroading and half-assed no-prep fumblings. Decent GMs do prepwork and improv; both are necessary to some extent and every GM has their own happy balance between the two.

I see. Noticing tons of plot holes in the adventure is most frustrating thing for me as a player, DMs should really get their ideas straight before announcing they're running a game. And in my experience, the less a DM needs to improvise, the better the adventure will be.

Exactly. It's like knowing how to scrimp by; ideally you have balanced your budget, but when something unexpected inevitably happens, it's vital to know how to make ends meet on whatever you have. Someone that has balanced their budget but can't handle a financial emergency is totally fucked by illnesses, accidents, etc. Someone that lives feast-and-famine week-to-week has well-honed financial emergency skills, but good lord their life would be easier and less stressful if they just sat down, looked at their weekly income, and figured out a plan ahead of time.

>spend most sessions mucking about in convoluted intrigue plots instead of being heroic adventurers
>ransacking some old cellars, tomb raiding, aquiring fat lewt and such stuff
>heroic

I think you concept of heroics is skewed badly, sir.

>reclaiming lost treasure and ancient tomes from the depths of a vile dragon's lair or the cursed ruins of a once-great temple, bringing them back to ailing hometown to help restore its wealth/glory as be hailed as a champion of your people
>not heroic

Sounds like you just play trashy campaigns and assume everyone else must do the same.

>absolutely destroying a local economy by flooding the peasants with treasure

Real fuckin' nice, hero.

This is literally what I want in RP. I can't fucking stand dungeon clearing and combat-heavy games. Why even bother? I can just play a board-game or wargame instead then.

That's not how ancient economics work.

from what you have just written it is you who play trashy ones ;^)

Seriously though, it sounds quite ok, except you don't need actually any "dungeon delving" part for that, because that would be just "that middle, boring part in between the shit that matters when you just walk through the tunnels and kill shit".

Man, Mansa Musa must have felt like a goddamn moron. Didn't he know having a lot of gold was automatically a bad thing?

Neck yourself, idiot. Wealth is wealth.

>"that middle, boring part in between the shit that matters when you just walk through the tunnels and kill shit"

Sounds like your DM is lazy and doesn't design good or threatening encounters.

Meant to quote

Intrigue plots are fucking cancer for d&d.

If I wanted to deal with a bunch of political or backstabbery or romance shit I'd pick up a fucking book and read it. DMs who do intrigue plots are fucking awful at being the DUNGEON master and are just crappy young-adult writers who should just write novellas instead of wasting people's time dragging them into their magical realm bullshit. Fuck you.

I don't care about "threatening".

What I do care is if they are dramatic and important to storytelling.

And pulling that out with dungeon crawl is objectively FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE.

Know why?

Because inflated value of encounters.

Even if each is different in some way, even if all of them are threatening, the sheer amount of it during traversing your typical "complex dungeon" will mean they will eventually get boring and dramatically pointless, nothing more than a gamey filler.

Agreed. But preparation gives diminishing returns because of combinatory explosion.
Also, preparing beforehand does not guarantee consistency of gm-generated content and over-preparation increases risk of GM burnout

>t. guy who thinks that "dungeons" are always underground and has never extended the concept to anything like a gigantic tree or a sky-battle sequence
>t. guy who doesn't put any kind of plot or happenings in his dungeon, or doesn't even bother to create a small ecosystem or social structure in the dungeon where the enemies have their own time tables and whatnot
>t. not autist

>wealth is wealth

Until it has no value because hyper inflation, retard.

That's why you diversify your holdings to include property and businesses instead of just dragon treasure.

Mansa wasn't just rich from having piles of gold - he conquered like 24 fucking regions.

>DMs who do intrigue plots are fucking awful at being the DUNGEON master
This was my old Pathfinder GM in a nutshell. He constantly spent time coming up with these overly-intricate epic plotlines (some of which were honestly pretty hype) but was constantly incompetent at encounter design. Like there was never a single combat where I thought after "wow that was really fun and added to my enjoyment of the game". It was especially odd since he would spent time constantly theorycrafting about rule balance and shit. Meanwhile, one of our other Pathfinder GMs managed to design combat encounters that were usually over-the-top with a mix of lethality and fun as the party crushed droves of enemies or were nearly eviscerated by mini-bosses

Bill Gates is the poorest man because he is too rich

Bill Gates was sitting at home drinking his Long Island Iced Tea out of his favorite Smuckers grape jelly jar turned Long Island Iced Tea glass. He looked at his massive pile of one dollar bills and said "I have all this wealth but all the wealth in the world cannot sustain my happiness and heart levels." He then got up off his chair of diamond rubies and walked to the solid transparent sapphire window and looked outside at his kentucky blue grass lawn and then up at the sky that was purified by both brita water filters distilling the water vapor and cleaning it as well as his dyson outdoor air purifier and he thought to himself "i am the poorest man in the world because i have all this wealth but there is nothing to spend it on so there fore my money is worthless and I am nothing" and he cried a LifeWater purified tear enhanced with electrolytes from his body teardrop from his eye ducks and then in a twist of karma because of his sudden realization that even though he had all this amazing pile of one dollar bills that added up to a big number and he had a very nice and expensive luxury house he had nothing of real value and was a hallow man of him self and then his whole existance transformed into a pile of poopy on the ground and him said "thi ss is what i deserving for having lived an inflatable economy lifestyle and not realizing that the meek will in hair ant the earth." and then bill accepted that the gates in his heart where his mind and soul to digital konsciousness and without this he transgressed into the man he once was but seeing this he made a chance and donate all of his extra ones to ethopia and reclaimed the value of american currency to himself

What a monster. Now he doomed Ethiopia to inflation, they'll starve even more now!

Hyper inflation only works with fiat currencies or things that can't be easily made/produced, in this case, gold. Unless EVERYONE IN THE WORLD is deflating the value of gold, those villagers are going to be very rich and not really give a shit if you deflate the value of gold in their economy. Your idea that one city in the entire world having an influx of cash = hyper inflation is stupid as fuck.

Fuck off, frogposter.

The stupidest thing I've had in a game was counting the weight of gold. That and martial combat just being boiled down to "hit guy real hard" because the rewards from trying to fight smart just didn't out weigh the benefits of wailing on someone like a gorilla.

Fuck the meek and their "in hair, ants".

I always thought every DM have a smooth clever prepared dungeon in a sleeve, so if your players want to loot some stuff and get some exp he can pop up a dungeon entrance out of ass.

>Not playing it like classical heroes

user i don't know where you got your worldview from but heroes used to be just glorified bandits and raiders.

The whole super goodie two shoes hero idea only took of in the 20th century.

>Donated money to Ethiopia

More like paid to give them all GMO food that will make sure they remain sterile.

Based Bill.