How would your current character handle this?

How would your current character handle this?

Other urls found in this thread:

exhentai.org/g/628602/25efdc9d66/
medicaldaily.com/dna-sperm-ex-partners-lingers-female-flies-and-influences-genetics-her-offspring-305934
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d10)

Rolling to seduce the Queen
Rolling to seduce the dragon

First rule of Shadowrun: don't make deals with dragons.

Leave and let him do whatever. I'm not getting paid enough to fuck around with a dragon and a queen or whoever the fuck that is, I'm a low cost decker, goddammit. I just want away from my old boss and that's about it.

Laugh so hard windows break.

Well, he's a dragon sorcerer, so I guess he'd go, "Oops. Sorry, Mom and Dad."

Rolled 26 (1d100)

Find out if I can make it into an orgy.

If he wants to watch that bad, OK. I'm a dragon, I'm not ashamed.
As long as he doesn't get too close. That's gay.

She'd be very impressed that she apparently /u/'d so hard to as to give her lover pure-bred dragon offspring.

And probably really horny, because holy shit, that's the kind of virility/fertility you can brag about.

He handles the picture respectfully and hangs it on his wall.

Something like this

Censored version just in case

I'd turn back into a human. Dragon-Fucking may be her fetish, but non-permanent polymorph sex isn't as great as everyone makes it out to be. You're still a human in a different beings body, so the orgasm feels muted... like when you're on Adderall.

Of course, Wild Shape you get the full experience, which explains about 90% of Druid behavior.

>This planet's culture is a little fucked, boss.

God Damn it you scaly sonuvabitch, she was my WIFE!

I'm not sure what's going on exactly, but I'm pretty sure I can blackmail people with this

Scamper away defeated then spend the next 10 years creating and executing a ridiculously circuitous plan that culminates in the complete emasculation of all dragonkind and extinction of all womankind.

Settle it the old fashioned way.

>uncuck yourself.jpg
The wife's reaction gets me every time.

Probably like he usually handles things.

Try opening the door, roll a 1, fail miserably, get another try out of courtesy, roll another 1, aggrivate the dragon and die in a terrible fire.

>The wife's reaction gets me every time.
Same here

>There must be more to life

>not raising their spawn as your own and taking all the credit for his genes

cmon user.

"Though records of the time period are scant, what is absolutely certain is that the vast majority of dragonkind was wiped out by a particularly horrific series of lethal magical assaults over the course of a few decades. While what little information remains suggest it was a single, insane Wizard, scientists believe that this is an exaggeration."

>Snort line of amphetamines
>Break down door
>Forget what I broke though the door for
>Freak the shit out
>Try and rebuild door
>Forget what I am doing
>Build small door-fort instead
>Snort more nasal decongestants

Underrated post right there.

He'd get out of bed and close the door

I used to think this is a silly picture, but I kind of get what the artist was going for. He could've gone for a "cool, edgy, beastlike" dragon, but making him look goofy actually kind of makes him disturbing.

When you think about it, the way dragons are usually depicted are in a way that's 'familliar' to us and 'makes sense' because they're just large lizards with 'cool', lizardlike features. Personally I think something looks creepy when it looks like it doesn't 'belong' in this world, when it just feels... off. A bit like that dragon.

I cant find the rest of this. Any sauce?

...

That's her boss fucking her daughter

Both currently single, so they'd probably just shut the door and leave.

...

exhentai.org/g/628602/25efdc9d66/

"FATHER YOU HAVE YOUR OWN LAIR. WHY ARE YOU IN MY BEDROOM. I FUCK PEOPLE IN THAT BED.

GODDAMMIT YOU DIDN"T EVEN CHANGE THE SHEETS.

WHO'S THIS ASSHOLE WITH A CROWN AT THE DOOR?"

Yeah, but the knight's "god fucking damn it not another one" face undersells it

Tell the party Cleric to fuck off.

If I want to fuck dragons, that's none of his business.

>advisable
>not 'possible'
What are they hiding from us?

She's not only getting away with cheating, she also gets to fuck two dudes without any complications on her end. She easily gets the best deal of the three.

"Excuse me, I seem to have entered the wrong room. Have a pleasant night."

>raising someone else's kids

user, I hate to use the C-word, but...

At least he didn't stay with the mother

Tell everyone the human half if your blood and you fucked a dragon, easy as that.

Sounds like he did it because he genuinely hated her and didn't want to damn the child to living with her. I can respect that.

Have ypu ever watched King of the Hill?
Dale raises Redcorn's son with an oblivious pride and joy and the fact that his own flesh and blood not only doesn't love him but actually finds him repulsive absolutely devours Redcorn inside.

This is how my current character was conceived.

Well, as he is a feudal world knight in the imperial guard, probably scream something that makes the rest of the regiment say "fucking feral worlders" like maybe "HAH, draconic xenos! face the emperor's wrath!" As he closes into melee or starts throwing his stash of grenades at the fucker

So he adopted his ex-wife's child. So what?

He would burst in and slaughter the dragon (and the woman, if need be) with his greatsword.

He is the Baron of Diemed, and he is a religious zealot with 6 Wisdom. Monsters are not to be suffered.

Turn around 360 degrees and walk away.

This is the true answer

She'd try to figure out which of the woman or the dragon is her shapeshifter not-boyfriend's current form.
Then she'd chew him out and arrest the other for some minor unrelated offense, because even if he's n-n-n-not her boyfriend, damn if she isn't spiteful.

I was about to find and post this but yes, this will be precisely the scenario that will take place.

If it's female then I'm getting half dragon children. If not? Then a hole's a hole.

Lessee, considering that's sorta close to what's currently occurring in my Anima campaign(names have been hidden to protect the innocent/guilty)...
>[Warlock](At the door): [Summoner], if you've got a minute we can work on- oh, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize [C'iel Dragonwaifu of Summoner] had come by for a visit... Excuse me.
>[Summoner](tersely): Knock next time!
>[C'iel Dragonfu](In an overly cheery voice): Hiya [Warlock]! Sorry I didn't tell you I was here! I just need to recharge my [Summoner] energy! Would you mind waiting to talk to her until the morning? Pleeeeaase?
>[Warlock]: R-right... Good to see you again, [C'iel Dragonfu]... *walks away*

>Anima
>Answer anything but kill the witch-heretic and the demon
Have your players HEARD THE WORD OF OUR SAVIOR ABEL CHRIST?

He'd Dimension Door out of bed before the King got in there to fuck his shit up

Considering the Warlock is a practicing(or reformed, considering he knows about Mikael, and has met almost all the Gairas and C'iels, bar Abbadon's, and is in a relationship with Manah Razz) Christian. Yes.

Also, the party recently helped Romeo Exxet out by taking down an internal rebellion by the other high Inquisitors, who were seriously thinking about trying to hand every Inquisitorial asset over to Matthew Gaul to make the empire great again. So now Ole Romeo is begrudgingly indebted to a Lillium priestess (The summoner, who has her own, spider-crazed version of Christian pentecostals after one epic Persuade check), a spastic atheist Mentalist, and one incredibly curious Catholic.

Is this your character? I like the drawing.

Yup, once-human psychic detective who was reincarnated as a troglodyte of all things after an unfortunate beheading.

Picture is from a kind-hearted fa/tg/uy in a drawthread.

If it has already happened, I guess my Offspring will have draconic genes.

>medicaldaily.com/dna-sperm-ex-partners-lingers-female-flies-and-influences-genetics-her-offspring-305934

who the hell is cutting holes in the doors

I would rightfully execute the Queen for adultery and put the dragon on trial. Lol who am I kidding? I'd kill them both

>LITERALLY still reposting this bullshit about fruit flies and magically applying it to humans despite it always, explicitly, saying that there is no evidence for it in humans.
Not that I'm not advocating for its implications. On the contrary: no hymen, no diamond. We've proven that whores are universally more unhappy and are permanently psychologically damaged by their whoring. Bullshit like this just hurts the real science.

I need further information, what's the relation between the character and the female? Because if it's "love interest/partner" then glad dragons are favored enemy. If it's just a dragon doing some chick he doesn't know, then he just goes about his business and leaves them to theirs.

Use my joke language of Dovahzul for once to ask where any drods are for me to kill.

Woman is your daughter

I slaughter the dragon and wear its skin as my armor, shipping only its gallbladder back to its relatives as a warning.

Force the dragon to marry her in a shotgun wedding.

Very violent, maybe they are in love?

Good, keep him in the family that way. Very political

Solutions
1. Blackmail the dragon
2. Kill both
3. Kill one or the other
4. Divorce
5. If this has been happening for a while, take the baby, raise it as my own, create a fine leader of it.
6. Threesome
7. Talk about it like adults between all parties
8. Overreact and abuse kingly power
9. Become the Hitler for dragons
10. Walk away
11. Become friends with dragon, spite wife in doing so
12. Eat a sandwich and pretend I never saw it

As my current Char is a narcistic semi-shota coward, hide under the bed and cry silent until everythings over and when the Kings NTR fetish, the queens dragon fetish and the dragons human-fetish is pleased and they rest, try to steal the jewelry whily getting the fuck out

wtf i hate beds now

That dragon's face makes me feel he'll win if I slice his neck open.

DRAGONED

Also the dragon is really short with stubby legs and no arms. It looks like the knight could just put his hand on its face to keep it at arms length while he lines up a swing with his sword.

Being cucked by a dragon?
He would tranform into a bear and rip and tear them both. He has some issues. He will later have a breakdown followed by a orgy of drinking with his friends from the party.

>Gaul
>Not based Lucanor "Nothing shady" Giovanni

You did well, Lucanor is true emperor.

dale is best dad.

Party is on great terms with Lucanor, and actually have their home base set up in Lucrecio. Luke has made it known to them that he would probably throw his weight behind Elisabeta if push came to shove, mostly because he is rather enjoying being able to SCIENCE at his own pace while not having to worry about petty things like what nobles did what, or some jackass lord of war who thinks he's hot shit starting trouble.

Unfortunately for the players, Gaul is aware of them, and is planning to level their home city in a session or two as payback for them razing an Azur training camp when they went to the Craters of the Streak to hunt down a Yehudah agent who was forging inquisition orders.