It has recently been uncovered by the Eldar Harlequins that Nurgle is in possession of the Eldar Goddess Isha (whom he rescued from Slaanesh's imprisonment), and imprisoned her within his realm in the Warp. Nurgle "utilizes" her for his "experiments", creating new contagions and diseases to spread into the material universe.
>CTR + F + "Eldar"
warhammer40k.wikia.com
ELDAR GODS CANT RESIST THE BIG NURGLE COCK
This has been known for years....
Nurgles realm looks like a goddamn /r9k/ meetup.
>>CTR + F + "Eldar"
It's Aeldari now
Looks like somebody's figured it out...
Nurgle doesn't have a dick user, and he's also a supreme gentleman that's probably too caught up with caring for his kids to think about sex.
>he doesn't know about rule 34
Its time to start lurking again, newfag
Nurgle only has sex in the missionary position for the purposes of procreation. He's a filthy filthy god.
Go ahead and point me to all that porn of Isha and Nurgle, faggot.
>missionary position for the purposes of procreation
too far
I only see one picture of Isha and Nurgle, and he doesn't have a dick in it.
>he actually looked through it
What kind of heretical degenerate are you?
The best kind.
>recently
Alright, magical wish fulfillment scenario:
Which waifu do you take? This is brighthammer lovely-k or whatever, where all the xenos are dtf and Chaos won't warpfuck you inside out.
Eldar? Tau? Daemonette? A strapping ork to hold you close like his prized shoota? Anything's open, it's all sexy.
...
>ctrl + F + "eldar" still finds aeldari
ok
This question is perhaps the simplest I've ever answered.
Eldar Exodite. Or Taldeer before she got soulstoned.
>Which waifu do you take?
>ywn dom an Adeptus Sororitas with your superior Khornate shaft
Feels bad man
>before she got soulstoned
You don't deserve her at her best
I like big white titties and pale skin and dark hair.
Wraithknights do not have dark hair
>white titties pale skin dark hair
Are you me, user? Then who am I? Where am I?
Is it possible to call dibs on that one Daemonette who visited that one user in his dreams and tortured him in sexy ways until he refused to go to sleep ever again?
>Are you me
We are both sons of the emperor, user. We are sons of Krieg
>all of these girls want the big green cock
How does this make you feel, white bois?
>white bois
I'm vaguely brownish though.
No we don't. Nurglites don't even have cocks.
>how does this make you feel, mortals
Better?
Then how do they spread around all those STD's which can only be passed on via sex?
BTFO
The fuck's an STD?
That's Slaanesh's domain. Nurgle has no interest in them.
Chaos can't have group projects?
Nurgle and Slaanesh are supposedly opposing forces that hate each other. This never really comes up like Khorne/Tzeentch does but it's there in the lore.
>Nurglites don't have cocks
>The only fat on Daemonettes are their fat titties
I can't imagine why they wouldn't like each other
>Nurgle was so piteous of Isha being used as Slaanesh's sex toy that he walked into his/her house, punch him in the face, and carried Isha out
>All because he wanted her tips on cooking.
>sexually transmitted diseases aren't diseases
nigga what
>>All because he wanted her tips on cooking.
>get tired of being used as a sex slave from Slaanesh
>Nurgle kidnaps you and uses you as sex slave AND a lab rat
>Implying Nurgle knows what sex actually is
>Also implying he can only cook diseases.
>Implying Nurgle knows what sex actually is
>the lord of disease doesn't know how his diseases are spread
Isha might have regenerative properties, but i bet her cunt's been so blasted by Nurgle's giant green cock that he's left it permanently in roast beef mode.
>Diseases are only spread through sex
Wat.
>no diseases are spread by sex
wat
>Diseases
>Sex
Da 'zog are those?
>there are no female orks
Oh yeah
Da zog's a female? Why's you usin' all deze stoopid werds, 'umie? Noneuv'em make any sense.
Nah.
Nurglites are capable of joy.
Daemonette, but only as a possession so she can give me erotic nightmares and whisper suggestions into my head on how to get into peoples pants that I as a virgin on a Indonesian fish bone carving forum wouldn't even think of. Also occasional mutations for added kinkiness.
Sex without excess isn't necessarily Slaaneshi. So unless the excess is being excessive with your sexual partners it'll be for Nurgle. I suppose a slut fucking around would be slaaneshi but someone of that Pozz-spreading culture is most certainly Nurgle. I would not look into it if I were you I choose to have faith that it's all just sick erotic fan-fiction and erp and not literally a real thing because if it is jesus christ almighty we have literal nurgle cults on earth
>erotic nightmares
You don't know what you're asking for.
And you just might get it.
>we have literal nurgle cults on Earth
Look up what bug chasing is, also if i remember correctly there was some homosexual forum dedicated to spreading aids around ( on unsuspecting victims) which got shut down. Its something straight people do as well just not nearly as much as gays for whatever reason. Also if you think about it anal is literally sticking your dick in small amounts of shit no matter how well you clean that thing, and then there is the "santorum" meme... but yeah Nurgle is alive in well irl when Tyhpoid Mary is a literal fetish nowadays
aidsetc.org
>implying that isn't hot as fuck
>he said after the other guy said don't look into it
Are you commanding people to look into it?
Yes
The Empreror will rise again and his first act will be to rescue Isha from Papa Nurgle, who teaches him about this thing humans call love, kick starting the grand alliance of Eldar and Mon'Keigh.
Robute already has a xeno waifu.
It's going full heretical boys get ready.
Blonde shortstack commissar who pretends to be a dom in bed but is secretly a subslut.
And I have to break her every night.
Qt SoB with that same kink is acceptable as well. But she has to be a tall amazon.
Blonde haired, blue eyed inquisitor who is a cuckquean with a fetish for being cucked by xenos.
Pure sister of battle wiafu, who earned a retirement land stake on a comfy planet. We would have lots of missionary meme sex. And she would make me breakfast and we would pray to the Emperor as thanks for delivering us from the nightmarish present that is living on this gayest of earth's.
So Black General?
>Anything's open
Living saint, no competition.
If I could chose the perfect scenario. The god damned Emperor himself ofc. Him filling me with his gene-seed, pure, fresh, straight from the holy tap itself would be the ultimate blessing. Any other choice is unacceptable you damn heretics!