Back in the day

>Stop having the wrong kind of stupid silly fun!

Hey, a lot of my fun is stupid. I just think you shouldn't pretend any of it is in any way impressive - you just rolled well and got a brief god mode at your way.

>nobody could possibly throw a 1-3kg piece of aerodynamically shaped metal 9-18 metres

Yeah ok guy

A pretty damn massive piece of aerodynamically shaped metal, in the exact right way, apparently on first level and in his first outing. In the darkness with no infravision.

Again, could you have done it on a 19?

No one ever said it was. It was just a story about brothers doing the same stupid thing years apart.

Does it deserve its own thread? Questionable.
Does it need someone pointing out the simplicity of the situation? No, not really

Boy, I sure do wanna play one of your games.

I can see someone hurling a one-handed sword like a tomahawk or throwing a bastard sword like a javelin, but a big two-handed is really stretching it.

But if you're built like Conan and you roll a 20, then fuck it, why not? Just let the player do the cool thing.

debbie downer

I would dearly like to impregnate that red head

>could you have done it on a 19?
Why even have 20 sides if anything that can be done on a 20 must also be doable on a 19?

OP here, I just wanted to tell you:

Okay.

What fun is playing a fantasy game if you can't play up the fantasy aspect every now and then?

It's not like the weapon making contact made the guard comically explode or something,

It's hard to believe the characters in that picture are on equal level when his biceps are the size of her torso
Barbarians should be jacked. Leave the skimpy waifs to the magic classes

Clearly, the dudette Agility/Momentum based, while the dude is brute force based.

I don't know, her axe looks bigger than his.

>it's another "made up story about rolling a 20 to do something extraordinary" episode
Don't you have upvotes to get on leddit or something?

Hence momentum based. She uses a longer buildup swing and lets the weight do the work, the dude can use shorter swings with more followthrough.

>The made up story boogyman

I don't have any proof that it happened, but I just thought you guys would be sort've amused by it. Do I have to exclusively say "This is a story time thread"?

You know, user. You can share your stories too.

You don't have to be bitter and angry all the time. Have any interesting stories from a recent game? I'd like to hear them.

It's perfectly reasonable to think you could throw a two handed axe
I'm not a trained fighter and I can throw a two handed lumber axe 20feet into a target.

You don't have to do shit, you WANT to be bitter and angry, since the anger gives you drive and the bitterness gives you purpose.

Could throw it spear like

it would actually be pretty easy to hit a target with a big sword or axe at that distance. are all you guys faggots who have never been outside in your life? you would just sling it across your body like its a frisbee so it would have a large area covered. do you even realize how close something like 30 feet is? i think i can fucking piss half that distance

i would really love to have this no fun baby dick reddit nigger give me one single shot at him

besides you know that people throw two handed axes at targets as a sport right?

youtube.com/watch?v=8PyBZd0z1tM

>Play a Dragonborn Bard, level 9
>Group is faced with protecting a King and staving off an invading Drow army from a castle
>Impossible to fight, we decide to blow up a stone dam nearby to flood them out.
>Sorc attempts to Enlarge a boulder to rupture the dam, requires a 10+ to pass. Rolls a 7.
>I look over and yell "mediocre!"
>Jump down, DM states the dam was slightly damaged but not broken.
>Cast Earth Tremor - Needs a 7 to rupture the dam.
>Nat 20
>Earth Tremor loosens sediment and cracks bedrock, knocks the dam out completely
>I'm swept 65 feet in about a second from rushing water.
>Dimension Door ft out
>Drown about 20,000 Drow mucking about in the low lying marshland.

Still had to fight off quite a bit of Drow, but we convinced the King to retreat instead of waiting for reinforcements that were never coming. I got a choker that doubled my breath attack damage, so that's pretty neat.

You must be a scream at parties.

...

>not using a 20 sided dice as a normalized d10
>using non-random lesbian d10 geometrics

Roger Zalezny would be proud

Sorry to be a bummer, but if anything his GM was TOO strict. Throwing a weapon not meant to be thrown should just be a -4 penalty. Depending on the range and his stats, he potentially could have hit on a lower number.

Normally I'd agree with you but honestly a nat20 SHOULD always hit. It shouldn't always be a critical hit like the new faggot 5e rules say, but it should be a hit. Unless D&D introduces exploding dice, but that would be disappointing. Just like crit confirmations were, but honestly I didn't mind those, the only people who get actually discouraged about those shouldn't be playing D&D anyway.

My personal rule: a nat20 hits on any attack unless it's truly impossible to hit them (i.e. total cover or out of ranged weapons effective range) and gives the opportunity for the damage dice to explode. This way it doesn't deal extra damage by default, but has the potential to deal infinite damage. Better than Savage Worlds and its always-active exploding dice, fuck those.

...

>Nat 20 story
>Double nat 20 story

Do you really think there is no possible way someone could throw a sword and hit a far away object? Difficult, yeah, but bending the laws of physichs?

Sword throwing is an actual technique shown in old swordfightning books (it was seen as an amateur thing to do in a duel tho), and it was tested to be pretty accurate. And this is for regular people, don't forget we are talking here about characters that fight monsters on a daily basis and survive to tell the tale.

>just think of the deed that was done and consider whether a 19 would've accomplished the exact same feat. If a 19 wouldn't cut it, then a 20 probably shouldn't either
And if an 18 isn't good enough, then a 19 is ridiculous.
And if a 17 wouldn't make it, then an 18 is unrealistic.
And if a 16 can't measure up, then a 17 is probably too much to ask.
...
Look, what I'm trying to say is, if you can't succeed at the task AUTOMATICALLY, then it should just be a failure and you don't need to bother rolling dice.

...

said the guy who never got hit by a 7 lb chunk of metal, that might also be sharp or pointy, but is still a 7 lb chunk of metal flying at you.

>stdh.txt

Dude fuck off, it's a fantasy game that isn't even simulationist.

No one cares about your shit opinion.

edgy.

It actually makes sense. You allow the action but give a huge penalty to hit, and technically it becomes a "20 to hit".
Not a rule, but within the guidelines.
Faggot.

I'm just here to give another (You)

Good job OP

You guys do know that the rule in D&D is if you roll a natural 20 on an attack roll or saving throw it automatically succeeds and a natural 1 automatically fails right?
It's when people think that applies to skill checks or anything else that it's wrong

This.

Man, do you realize how close 30ft is?

A big dude could definitely hit a guy with a large weapon from that distance. Remember that your average barbarian is not you, it's someone with more physical prowess than the best olympians.

youtu.be/wTC_1HRgbuo?t=151

Not that strange
-4 for non thrown weapon, -2 for every distance increment (taking into account is not a thrown weapon it should be like -2 for every 10ft), assuming the dude moved twice to escape (withdraw action) that's 60ft

So that's -4-2x6, a total of -18. Yeah, "you only hit on a nat20" seems pretty beliveable for that scenario.

Also we're ignoring that weapons, any weapon, has a max distance, and that non thrown weapons have a ridiculously short max distance, I don't think you can throw a battle axe at 60ft even if your Str is 5 billion (yeah I know is stupid but that's d20 rules for you).

D&D is not a simulation of real life physics
My current character moves at Mach 1 and is easy to hit him while runing than to hit a standing still object.

The story is lame as fuck reddit-tier, but you are a humongous "no fun" smart-ass faggot

>dming vampire the mascarade
>one player suggest a bank robbery
>as a master think it would be fun thing to do for a session
>smart-ass immediately jumps with "no fun" facts like "nowadays there is no money inside banks and if you try to rob the money storage the it gets drowned if they detect a breach in security"

Fuck you

>le ebin natooral twenty maymay

...

the worst thing about these kinds of faggots is how wrong and stupid they are despite the fact they think they are genesis

>tfw my small town bank apparently has a flooding system set up
>tfw all banks in the world have flooding systems apparently

your friend may be literally retarded

>realistically speaking
>For throwing an axe
>in a setting with fucking dragons
Its not like he wanted to convince the guard he was his dad.

You're the reason somebody makes threads asking why Veeky Forums is so pretentious.

I was about to expect some depressing shitposting and instead you made me 'awwww'. Tell her sister i'm proud of her too.

either this is a really terrible bait or you need to see a doctor-

...

Fuck off faggot
Nat 20s on attack rolls have been a thing since fucking 2e.

It's called "luck", fella. It works as an explanation both in game and out. The only time that could be a problem is if that guy was supposed to get away, and now the dm has to figure out a way around this. That's on the dm, not on the player.

...

>realistically speaking

D&D is not a Real Life Simulator. It's meant to ape HIGH ADVENTURE fantasy stories.

I wish I could pee in your eye

LOL A FUCKING NATURAL 20 WAS ROLLED?

NO WAY.

A FUCKING 20?

YOU ROLLED A 20?

HOLY FUCK.

AMAZING. A NATURAL 20.

NOT EVEN AN ARTIFICIAL 20, BUT A NATURAL 20.

UNBELIEVABLE.

EPIC TALE, BRAVO.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR ABOUT SOMETHING SO FUCKING EPIC, HOLY SHIT.

Within the confines of both reality and D&D fantasy, you don't have a 5% chance to turn your weapon into a heat seeking missile by dropping it in the correct direction.

>Decide to make an attack by throwing my sword
>Rules specifically say a natural 20 on an attack roll always hits
>Roll natural 20

Gee I wonder what happens next

or heres a thought, everyone plays with whatever realism threshold they like and you stop being an autist and policing other people's playstyles

I'm not policing their playstyles, I'm criticizing their blatantly and objectively inferior playstyle.

I KNOW RIGHT? IT'S LIKE DUDE, EPIC. 5% CHANCE AND THEY BOTH DID IT.

THAT'S FUCKING OUT OF THIS WORLD DUDE.

SO THAT'S A CRIT RIGHT? SO WHAT IT'S AN AXE, IT DOES LIKE 1D8? SO SHE DID 2D8 PLUS MAYBE LIKE SIX DAMAGE? I BET SHE ROLLED MAX TOO, SO SHE DID 24 DAMAGE. TWENTY. FOUR. FUCKING. DAMAGE.

THAT'S BADASS DUDE.

So in the vein of d&d family bonding stories..

>introduce girlfriend and her 7 year old kid to d&d
>shes a dragonborn warlock, hes a goblin rogue
>occasionally play with some other friends, one of whom is a socially retarded aasimar sorcerer
>aasimar friend buys a cabbage for goblin cause its green and reminds her of him
>he accepts it gleefully cause 7 year olds
>party is at lv 2, go on a simple dungeon crawl
>encounter a gray ooze which surprises the goblin and takes a good chunk of his health
>sheer panic in the eyes of the boy
>party gets a few hits off before realizing all their metal weapons are corroding
>goblin's turn
>all his weapons are metal
>unbridledterror.jpg
>ILL THROW THE CABBAGE AT IT!
>explain improvised weapon attacks to him
>rolls nat 20
>rolls 2d4 for critical
>7 damage, kills the ooze
>boy murdered a gray ooze with a cabbage
>you do not know happiness until youve seen the eyes of a child that murdered a monster with a cabbage
>his greatest inspiration in life is to be a DM like me

youre being blatantly and objectively autistic
you should stop

Most people would sooner associate "I throw my sword. NATURAL FUCKING 20" with autism than "Gee, guys, your game doesn't look that good because you make arbitrary rulings for laughs and have no consistency or pathos in your games."

>girlfriend
>7 yeard old kid
....user....do we need to have a little chat about your dating habits?

actually most people would sooner associate "heres a thread about a game mechanic i dont like, why dont i go in here and bitch about how much i dont like it" with autism than "this game requires some suspension of disbelief to make entertaining long shot scenarios pay off"

we're both 29, been dating a bit over 4 years....such is adulthood dude

ugh. Look i dont want to invoke /pol/ but you really REALLY shouldn't date a woman with a kid. it indicates she either had a good man that she drove away by being shit or she was an idiot let an alpha knock her up and wander off and use you to clean up her mess instead of suffering the consequences of picking a shitty mate

Or you know, like... something happened that wasn't those things?
Life can get pretty weird dude, more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio, and all that.

You're sounding like r9k actually

Unless the father of the child literally died then no. My description was vauge enough to be one of those two things. Bad woman drove away good man. or woman made poor sexual choice and suffered the consequence of it. and if you say "They just grew apart" this is why marriage was encouraged before sex so you avoided shit like this. men raising other men's kids

Never been there personally because everybody talks badly about it. but if thats true maybe ill go there and see if they know anything or are just bitter NEETS who only think that way because they don't understand how to be proper men

>Or you know, like... something happened that wasn't those things?
This sums it up precisely. details are not important here, cause thats not the point of the thread, but we're both mature adults that have been dating over four years. I know all her low points and high points very well by now.
Plus i pretty much raised the boy and love him like my own. We're planning on having one of our own in about half a year's time.
That one will be playing d&d soon as its old enough too

This man could get him from five paces. Cans't you best his record?

You're autistic so you're out of touch with social norms, but I want you to know you're wrong.

100% agree. A woman's value inherently decreases when part of dating her is doing her previous spouse's time.

I think your perspective may change once you actually grow up and get to the point where everyone has had a life before you came along.
Also, your paternal instincts may kick in once you move past puberty and youll start seeing kids as individuals rather than just the result of their parent's behavior

She must be pretty great to overcome that depreciation, then.

...

Nope, it's just that there's lots of low quality men and they want love, too.

I'm 28. How old are you? I'm curious as to when the "you need to grow up kid" thing is grown out of, myself.

You know, in OD&D, throwing a sword doesn't even incur a to-hit penalty, it just halves the damage on a hit, and the range increments are 10'/20'/30'.

So you hurl a greataxe or a greatsword at someone 30' away, you're just rolling a missile attack at −1 for the range, and you'll cause 1d4 or 1d5 damage on a hit.

you fucking suck at DMing thats not how you play DnD

you roll improvised weapons, roll without proficiency and roll with disadvantage if further than 20 ft if they hit you reduce the damage to 1d4 + strength

killing someone with a two handed weapon isn't at all impressive nor is randomly getting a 20.

have fun anyway you want but sharing this story is giving me second hand embarrassment. why would you think this made a good story?

>I'm curious as to when the "you need to grow up kid" thing is grown out of, myself.
when you get out of the basement and spend time in the greater world

Because Veeky Forums is full of LE EBIN MAYMAY LUCHADOR BEARINGTONs. Quality posters have mostly abandoned this board because of the overwhelming tide of shitposters.

Not the user you were talking too, but you are pretty much locked down. There's more joy to be had with a woman who'll share her first time on the marital bed with you, than a woman who's made mistakes and will make some more.

You've been with her for a few years, yeah? Some places make you pay alimony even with out a wedding ring if shit goes down.

Point is you could've done better in life mate.