That Guy Thread

>While exploring the sewers, you stumble upon a symbol
>"I roll Knowledge (Arcane)"
>It's the symbol of THE MAGIC RAT KING!
>Its presence here means that there are RATS and DEMONS in the sewer!
>Here is the note. Since you found about the symbol in the sewer, I smeared it in dogshit and puss

Ugh. 'Note tells you next thing to hit with a stick'.

This is where you're going wrong.
No matter what, bitches gonna be hitting it with a stick.

If he's doing it intentionally that could be a god tier joke character

>>She hosts the game at her house and so far its become the best place to meet for all of us so there's no getting out of this.
>>She is possibly the laziest fuck I have ever known. Granted she got injured due to two car accicentds within a month but even before the pain she had guests empty the trash for her, clean up after her animals for her, bring her food and drink, cook for her and so on.
>>originally she was the dm of one of the games we play. She was not very good at it. She's more of a tell not show sort of style and more than once has had our characters go through entire sessions where we could not affect anything or even act at all.
>>lately shes been falling asleep through her own games and passing along the dming to one of her players. Granted he's actually very good at it. He does the different voices for the acting, knows how to improvise and runs through battles pretty awesomely. Props to this guy.
>>she starts doing things less and less pushing all of the responsibility on this other player.

And then I start up my own game and we switch between my game and hers biweekly so that I may have a chance at dming and give the other guy a break and chance to play.

Sounds like a great character concept.

Continued.

>>I have to roll her character for her despite giving her the books, printing things and sitting down with everyone to see what they want to make.
>>I attempt to get her included by using plot hooks, and trying to include her but.. She's like a hood ornament. Driven everywhere and does absolutely nothing.
>>slowly I've been focusing on her less and less and giving other players who actually play the game attention.
>>She eventually sleeps through almost the entire sessions. Loudly snoring on the couch with no one strong enough to roll her out.

I have spoken to her about this many, many times trying to get to the root of the problem and seeing if there's anything the rest of the group can do about it. Honestly, I'm thinking of trying to find a way to get my place set up (possibly on the patio) and hosting the game at my place.

Inevitably if she doesn't show up, because I have no comfy furniture to facilitate lazing about or sleeping on, she may stop showing up all together and may end up phasing out of the game until she gets things figured out for herself.

We've tried helping her but at this point, you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

Maybe ask her to go to a doctor?

we have and she currently is seeing one, although mostly the quackery kind. She's one of those that believes in crystals and energies and that she knows way more than any medical professional because her mom was a nurse ages ago. If she does see a doctor its to get pain medication and pain injections, when honestly she would be better off saving money and getting surgery to fix some of her problems.

And honestly she was like this even before the accidents. Like just stop showing up for work, sleeping through things, having people do everything for her including bringing her food, taking care of her pets and trash and cleaning her house for her. Its like the accident just made it worse. She's gained like a lot of weight in the last year. Like at least an extra 150 pounds and that can't be helping her pain or injuries but she cant even commit to getting on some sort of diet or seeing some physical therapy. Her friends have offered to help her many many times but she just stops doing it or finds some reason to not do it at all.

Yep, definitely That Guy. And entitled one, too.

He's clearly a master of forgotten lore, with a bit too much emphasis on "forgotten"

You can't help someone who can't help themselves like you said. Hopefully her family can take care of her.

>Playing Dark Heresy on roll20 (already a bad start)
>That Guy has a hateboner for religion
>Makes an ultrafedora-tier antitheist assassin
>Keeps sneaking out at night to desecrate temples
>Destroys a holy relic we uncovered "accidentaly"
>Acts surprised every time he gets corruption for that shit
>Dies because of cumulative Mutations and Malignancies that dropped his Intelligence to 0

>Proceeds to pitch the same character, but as a Guardsman

>40k
>Human Athirst
Does he understand the lore?

He told the GM he did, but I'll take a wild guess and say that he lied about it.

>She's one of those that believes in crystals and energies
Yeah, don't bother with her. It's a waste of time to try and fix people after they fall into that pit of retardation.

>Does he understand the lore?
Do you understand the lore?
The Emperor himself tried to get rid of all the religions and deconverted many planets.
Having a human that follows his path and plan isn't that farfetched.

Because some can't handle strong coffee but still need it.

Yes it is that farfetched, a simple glance at the fucking foreword of any book would explain this. in 40k all religion has been replaced by worship of the emperor because of the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition. Actively sabotaging temples and relics of the emperor would get you executed on the spot.

>Having a human that knows and follows the original vision of the Emperor after 10000 years of it getting bastardized into the Imperial Creed and entering the Inquisition without someone finding out isn't that farfetched

that's forbidden ancient lore at best, heresy as interpreted by the millennium 99.99% of the time

So just imagine he's playing a high Int lorekeeper type character with advanced dementia. Problem solved.

>has been replaced by worship of the emperor because of the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition.
So no Human would dare to not worship the Emperor? Then how to Chaos Cults get started?
>Having a human that knows and follows the original vision of the Emperor after 10000 years of it getting bastardized into the Imperial Creed and entering the Inquisition without someone finding out isn't that farfetched
How about there is a group of "conspiracy theorists" that share the Emperors original plan.
They were created after the Fall by the Iterators.

I have incredible long term memory and bisual memory.
But I can't remember a single specific thing 10 min back, unless it's obviuos shit like if I ate something or took a shit.
Especially not things that somebody has told me, can't remember names at all.

> Have a passing curiousity in LARP
> Decide to go to the local college LARP
> Guy in charge is decent and introduces me to everyone before the session starts, tells everyone that I'll be observing, not part of the game, ignore me
> Pretty basic LARPing going on with all the cringe stuff, it was basically DnD the LARP with guild politics
> I wander around happy
> That Guy follows me around
> Neckbeard fatass with a Buster Sword
> I enter a room to see what's going on, LARP stuff, turn around to leave
> That Guy blocks the door
> Belligerently acts in character, refuses to let me leave without paying him
> Continues to refuse to let me leave, other players in the room are giggling at me like this is top form comedy
> My confusion levels are high, im stuck in a room by a neckbeard who is clearly on a power trip
> Did I mention that these people had good hygene and wore clean clothes? No, I didn't
> He is much bigger than me so I can't force my way out
> Finally he leaves after being called away
> Leave and never go back

So one of them exists in the other side of the galaxy and joined the Inquisition without anyone finding out? This is getting more farfetched by the minute.

why would it be farfetched? The Inquisition is not omniscient there are several chaos cultists groups on several loyalist planets active and worshiping chaos undetected. So why is it so hard to believe that there is one Atheist group that were created by one of the Iterators

>how about
How about half-eldar space marines if we're just going to make shit up?
The inquisition purges chaos you troglodyte, they are defined by their fanaticism for the imperial creed.

>> Have a passing curiousity in LARP
Well there’s your problem right there.

All I'm reading is that you can't take a little hazing.

The only way I could have seen that working was if he was supposed to be a hidden chaos cultist, but I'm guessing he was just retarded since he died from it.

new Bill Nye show has an episode about that

Even if there was a group of antitheists, which is still kind of stupid since the emperor is basically a god, and the chaos gods do exist, any Inquisitor who learned what they were doing would kill them. Or get the GK to kill them.
As much as people like to meme about it, being an inquisitor is not a free pass for actual heresy.

>player has exceptionally weak muscles
>can't bench 150
>decides to play High Str Barbarian kind of character
>doesn't have a war face and gets intimidated when people show him theirs
>all his attacks miss and halt the progression of the game
>the GM is at the point of hijacking his character whenever he makes an attack roll on the monsters
>refuses to play a different character
>from the next game onward, he always arrives with a snickers bar

AND? That still does not prevent such a group from existing in the 40k lore.

Fanfic retards like you are why everyone allows only strictly canon-grounded backstories.

>atheist
>being a chaos cultist, ie one worshipping the chaos gods

yeah nah he's just a cunt

user, just because something CAN exist doesn't mean it wouldn't be stupid as shit.

>GM: "We're using only the core rulebook and books A, B, and C."
>That Guy: "But the build I want to use that I looked up on an optimization forum uses Books F, Q, G, and L"
>GM: "No"
>That Guy: (autistic screeching)

Explain to me why it would be stupid as shit.

>being a lazy asshole is the same as not being like your character
>missing an attack is the same as passing a lore check and then saying something completely wrong
>having a lore guy that remembers everything told to him OoC is the same like an out of shape guy playing a strong character

>being that much of a contrarian for the sake of being contrarian

>Here is my Original Faction (donot steal) that follows the original creed of the emperor that survived for years and years and never got found and they are defacing churches and I want to play as one of them

Nope, nothing stupid here.

>I'm supposed to know they're important?
They're notes. They're all important. If it wasn't important, nobody would have been recorded in the first place. The very nature of them being notes inherently means that they are noteworthy.

While the inquisition isn't omniscient, a group running around defacing churches and destroying relics (which often have actual, measurable powers), would be purged.
I'm all for originality but you have to remain in the context of the in-game universe and the Imperium as a whole is pretty defined by their devotion.

>chaos cults believe and worship chaos gods
>emperor's cult believes in and worships the emperor, and stamps out all forms of belief that isn't compatible
The idea of an atheist in 40k itself isn't dumb, but trying to play an atheist without providing a reasonable backstory IS dumb.

I can think of one right off the top of my head; he believes in the greater good and is a tau xeno sympathiser, but it's really dumb for someone who's smart enough to circumvent the inquisition's questioning ability to be sneaking out to burn down churches. He'd have to be at least somewhat useful to avoid summary execution.

As such, without any other information going, I'm just going to say the guy's an ass.

I would just like to point out that this character isn't atheist but an antitheist. So he doesn't not-believe, he actively refutes the existence of gods in the setting.

If you're playing a lorekeeper; aren't you supposed to know all the exposition stuff?

>that one player who always try to push his character as the protagonist/de facto leader/spotlight hog in every game

He's not succeeded once and always gets upset when the rest of the group sandbags his attempts.

You do know that there are a lot of planets in the Imperium where no Inquisitor or Space Marine has ever set a foot on it.
>refutes the existence of gods in the setting
Which was the Imperial Truth

I have had so many of these fucking players, and it seems like the majority of them are big fans of shounen anime. It's like they see their character as the big strong hero who can defeat any enemy by just being stronger or shouting loudly enough, and they see the rest of the party as their supporting cast whose entire purpose is to stand on a nearby cliff and grunt and comment on how strong he is.

I can't be bothered to look for sources, but I'm pretty sure that the Eccelsiarchy rejected Emprah's Imperial Truth, potentially even considers it as a form of heresy.

i feel like i do this sometimes. Sorry its not intentional it just seems like something to get things moving. unless they are doing it on purpose and being cunts in that case fuck em

>That Guy who tries to be "lel randumb XD" because they think its funny
>That player that gets butthurt OoC because of things that happen to their character
I always have at least one in every game I play. Fucking kill me.

The imperial truth got replaced by the Imperial Creed. Shortly after Big E was placed on the throne.

>"I roll Knowledge (Arcane)"

triggered

You ask your DM if you know the symbol, and he'll say whether you do or what kind of roll to make.

>tfw every character I play ends up turning into the party leader even though I'm not assertive and mumble all the time in real life

How does that even work?

>OK guys, listen. You know how the boss always said to worship no one and hold yourself and your fellow humans in the highest regard? How there are no gods, and that every one of you has to free your minds and realize your infinite potential? Yeah, forget all that and grovel in the dirt before him."

6,000+ years of fanatical belief and purges. Same way Catholicism went into maximum overdrive during the middle ages. Early roman Christianity was very different.

I can top that.

>GM: "We're using only the core rulebook and books A, B, and C."
>That Guy: "But the build I want to use that I looked up on an optimization forum uses Books F, Q, G, and L"
>GM: "No"
>That Guy: "Okay"
>That Guy proceeds to be passive-aggressive and whiny for the rest of the campaign, and the GM is somehow too socially inept to notice or too much of a pussy to do anything about it

>he believes in the greater good and is a tau xeno sympathiser,
This only works if the game takes place in a very specific part of the galaxy.

Is that really Paul? Looks more like Stallone.

People love to believe stupid shit, and given a few generations without anything to reinforce the Imperial Truth, their various superstitions crystallized into the Imperial Cult.

>Proceeds to pitch the same character, but as a Guardsman

I fucking HATE players that do this shit. Playing the same goddamn thing every time like making a new character is just respawning.

There were Emperor-worshippers even when he was still around. After he was gone and everything went to shit it was even easier for such ideas to take root.

I don't think players attempting to guess which roll they should make is a bad thing; it means they're thinking. If they argue with you about what kind of roll it should be, maybe.

>tfw this was me

I just wanted to make a blaster mage my dude. Even with the optimized feats i was still doing comparable damage to the rest of the party and thats with spell slots.

Only instead of autistic screeching i just used standard wizard spells to invalidate the martials and the game dissolved

I feel no guilt

Something just passed over your head

...what about intentionally getting myself killed so I can play something different?

>I feel no guilt.

Well you should.

Even worse.
I once played a BC game with a slaanesh heretek (it was as bad as it sounds), and eventually he just got tired with his character and said that his character kill themselves.
In the middle of a mission.
For no reason.
And then the GM gave me shit when i called him out on his bullshit.

>blaster mage
You should feel shame for not being more inventive. Generalist wizard is the best/most broken wizard there is. You're literally limited by your imagination, and how much your GM uses the Rule of Cool

>slaanesh heretek
Well, to be fair. That is the sort of thing a Slaaneshi might do when they get bored of life. Seek thrills as a warp entity.

>Player "It's GMs job to do everything for me" entitlement
>Too lazy to put any of the footwork himself
Jesus Christ you need to be kicked from every game every.

I wasnt trying to powergame. I know blaster mages are weak. Thats why i was playing one. Once i got denied i played the broken generalist wizard and it made the martials feel like shit(lmao pathfinder) so the game dissolved.

Should have just let me thrown my fuckin' fireballs.

Are your retarded, user? Like, you know that isn't the same in any real way right? C'mon man

...

>3.PF
>one player loves milk and will drink a half gallon during the first half of the game
>milk makes him sleepy so he sleeps through the second half of the game

Good guy but terrible player

"Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus. Just like me."

>destroying an entire campaign out of spite because you didn't get what you want
Sounds like autistic screeching to me.

Okay that's definitely Arnold! Why are you trying to decieve me!

...

>[citation needed]

Number 1: dat's terror.
Number 2: dat's terror.

...

>filename

>pain injections,

I've heard about those, my mom had them after she got promoted.

Pikachu, I choose you!

>playing a wizard with their core spells is destroying an entire campaign

Guess im devillish.

>bisual memory.
user, just 'cos you remember the pictures of animoos that you spanked the tuberat to, doesn't mean you have great memory. It just means you're a dedicated hedonist.

...

You outright admitted to optimizing your wizard as far as possible with the intent of ruining everyone else's fun to kill their game. How is that not destroying a campaign?