"Well this was a pleasant chat, human"

Time to die.

Who are you calling human, you purple exhibicionist?

Nope! We're playing D&D, which means we'll have to spend the next 45 minutes enacting a 5 minute combat, and any attempt to do a Coup De Grace is usually considered a That DM thing to do. Also my allies are with me because we literally never split the party except in town for roleplaying, so you better have brought backup.

Allow me to retort.

That arrow isn't nocked correctly. I'm not sure it'll even move after release.

But you said nothing.
And also, that bow better not have s standard Damage Rank for bows because I can eat that shit all day and not even get a rash from it.

Fun thing.

You didn't say who had to die.

So I will specify for you.

It is time for the evil necromancer in front of us to die.

And? The context? Is??

Rape.

Ive... seen things you people wouldn't believe

What kind of person would shoot a bow in Melee range

Attack ships on fire off the shores of Orion, I watched Fey-spirits glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Ley-Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

OK a 22 beats my ac
I use my reaction to deflect the arrow

>necron lords can't spell for shit

How badly damaged ARE you?

Someone with the right feat for it.

Is he flipping us the bird?

As a reaction I teleport back to town.
Yawn.

No, that's clearly the middle finger for the elf thing.

>inb4 but the middle finger is known as the bird

Is this possible in 5e?

Same to you

Unfortunately, with the right UA.

Games that are this high-power bore me.

Come on brah, no need for that.

I for one welcome our benevolent necramcer government
>Yes, this is a thing in my setting. The undead empire built on capitalism and trade, and people voluntarily give up bodies after death.

How does that work? How can you provide for citizens when the workforce never expires? Well i guess the labor is cheap as fuck.

Don't forget gay marriage

Thanks Nicol Bolas!

>heh... good luck kid
>arrow pierces my heart
>it was a hologram
>i actually teleported behind her
>slice her in half with my katana

psssh nothin personnel kid

Calm yo tits, nigga, I'm already dying.

Level 7.
It's the first cool thing I can do.

>Pull some high charisma roll bullshit with stupid smile
>It was super effective
>Elf is now a Tsundere
>She loose the arrow but it goes flying way off it's mark
>"I-I guess it is alright to let you live, y-you stupid human"

Why is the arrow on the wrong side? Hand near jaw! I took a day class in archery once, but I know this is the wrong form.

Do you think anyone could draw properly with tits like that in the way?

That's a damn shame, I was hoping this would end peacefully but I'll defend myself if I must.

> Time to die.
That's not how insult-fighting works, you moron. You're gonna lose the initiative, and consequently, every fight you start if you don't use your quick wit and sharp insults.

You don't strike me as suicidal, so here, let me teach you.
Suppose I am aiming at you with a bow and arrow, just like you do at me now, and I say "There are no clever moves that can help you now".
What do you answer?

*Teleports behind you*

There is no such thing as "arrow on the wrong side". Different styles of archery use different sides.

What is totally fucked is the arrow being at a seemingly 60 degree or more angle to the direction of the bow and her bow arm.

You're quite right about where her draw hand is though, also her bow arm is ridiculously bent.

Also the arrow she is holding has no fletching, the sword on her thigh would be swinging about all over the place and both it and the small knives seem to not have sheaths so they will probably cut her leg.

"I dunno, I've got a few pointed tips left to show you still."

"Suffer not the Xenos to Live"

>a conveniently made-up strawmen by OP, the faggot, for all the little anons to come into the thread, reply, and leave
Another thread died for this.

I guess the undead farm the farms, mine the mines and (wood) the woods.
Humans would be bored as fuck. By capitalism, I guess instead of paying for stuff with gold you pay it off by weeks the necromancer can use your immortal soul before he will let you slumber in peace.

No, no, no, you dunce, you answer something along the lines of "There are, you just never bothered to learn them"!
Okay, let's take it slow - imagine crossing your sword with a master swordsman, you are winded and out of breath, and he says to you "I hope you have a vehicle ready for quick escape".
What do you answer?

How is this Veeky Forums related?

tsundere is a derangement

Sorry, my schedule is full.
Arch-Militant? Dispose of this Xenos filth.

And you're conscious for the entire process, being even more bored in undeath than you ever were in life!
>cacklingnecromancers.png

>mfw a slut elf appears in her slut armor

>All these DnD players and 40k fucks

It's like you don't even want to have fun...
This is said as a DnD player and 40k fuck, keep in mind.

Ride's over mutie, time to die.

I cast Shield.

Enchanted plate, motherfucker. Magic, and arrows do jack-fuckity-shit.

"Speaking from experience"?

Yeah, a thread on the last page that no one responded to in at least 2 hours, maybe 3.

Can you kill me by sitting on my face?

That's not good enough!
What you were supposed to answer is something along the lines of "Why, did you want to borrow one?".
...I see we have our work cut out ahead of us, but don't worry, I will make a proper insult fighter from you.
Sharpen your wit.

*teleports behind u*
*unsheathes soul-stealer katana*
Heh, nothin personnel, kid...

I hope it was one you liked.

...

*stabs you in the clear openings in your armor*

But I'm glad that people will respond to OPs strawman every two hours and contribute many traditional games to this board.

*the boobs were a hologram*

Y..you t..too