Why don't Dwarves celebrate Easter?

Why don't Dwarves celebrate Easter?

Eggs break easily underground.
Cocoa is difficult to grow underground.
There is no time to celebrate renewal and rebirth when too many dwarves are dying off in droves fighting off goblins and the like.

"...Eh? Jesus who? What're ye jawin' aboot laddie? We're good, Pelor-fearin' folk down here. Got no time for any o' that Crispian gravel.

Now are ye gonna pay fer yer drinks or not?"

Who said they don't?

Well, you've got to be a part of a culture that practices Christianity for that to happen, and unless you're talking the little-people type of dwarves IRL, most people look down on GMs cramming IRL religions into fantasy settings.

Cause they're jewish.

Why doesn't anybody in Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms celebrate easter?

Because they're not an unimaginative christfag like yourself.

Please stop bumping this shit thread.

Because they never leave their caves.

>Well, you've got to be a part of a culture that practices Christianity for that to happen
So are elves Christian or is Deedlit a convert?

> are elves Christian
Of course

t. Tolkien

two words: Celtic Christianity.

>that brief period when St. Patrick dropped the ball and the irish imagined Jesus in an animal hide loin cloth, bludgeoning satan with a wooden club

Well, standing orders of the roman pope at the time had been: "if it does not directly contradict the bible, it's okay."

wot

>Elven Christianity is a bizarro-Christianity that *technically* doesn't contradict the Vatican despite turning out entirely differently in practice

it was a thing once.

Every culture which had missionaries go to foreign nations tended to get the local culture's interpretation.

Check out the original Japanese views on Mary and Jesus.

Bet you didn't know Christ was not a humble carpenter but dressed like a damn daimyo and had a bowl cut right out of the womb.

I need this in my campaign.

I get that, but like I really wanna find a picture of Jesus smacking Satan with a shillelagh now

>Bet you didn't know Christ was not a humble carpenter but dressed like a damn daimyo and had a bowl cut right out of the womb.
Oh, I want to see the SJWs react to this. Is this just as racist as the white, blue eyed depictions of Jesus in the West or does this somehow "not count"?

Haven't you heard of voodoo?

>tfw I prefer this version over the actual one.

>Why don't Dwarves celebrate Easter?
Because dwarven version of the Easter Bunny looks like this.

>[Dwarf Fortress murderfortress intensifies]

I thought this was a setup for a racist, Elven joke about Dwarves.

This thread has been a huge disappointment.

Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

Why is Veeky Forums so atheist?

Who said we were?

silly user, it doesnt count because only white people can be racist.

if god is good, then why is there evil? the only solution is that god is evil and you worship the darkness, or there is no god at all

Well yeah why do you think we still worship