Describe "That Guy" in your party

>not murdering this character very painfully

If you play "Blue planet", the most evident problem is gills+warm blood, not wormholes

wew what a bitch

>In the first session we hear that his character is a mute
>Somehow he still got through the interview that was the plothook of that campaing
>Can only communicate with us through expressions and gestures
>Doesn't do that very well, being a cloaked character with a mask that hides his face
>Doesn't do much other than trying to hit things with his sword, we make a few jokes about his apparent mutism to try encouraging him to communicate with us at least a little
>Three sessions in he's alone with important npc
>Turns out his character actually can talk after all
>He just doesn't talk to the party
>The npc gives him valuable information
>He doesn't say a word to us
>Mfw

Why did this have to be a 0.1 second long gif. Why does tumblr do this shit?

Nice enough guy in real life, usually cool to talk to, but dumb as fuck.

Every character he's ever played must always be the center of attention, or at least involved in every single part of the campaign at all times.

He tries to tells us exactly what to do during our turns, get's overly upset when we don't listen to his dumb ideas.

He has caused two tpks because "it would be funny xd".

He has antagonized almost every npc we come across and attempts to assassinate every npc whose death would have major consequences in the campaign (royalty, arch wizards, etc).

It's a good thing that our DM is on full-time damage control, otherwise our games would just constantly devolve into "lol so random rofl" as soon as he introduces his character.

Now tell about that guy, but in character.
Drop us a one sentence intro of yours if it'll help.

I have two
>first time player
>picked a meme merchant class
>thinks racial feats are different than feats
also a girl
>faced with a puzzle or enemy with weird mechanics
>looks it up on her phone

He plays a mad wizard who serves the god of madness. He decided to name his character Norf and gave himself ranks in Pirate for some reason.

There's this guy that thinks that detect magic-typr spells are his personal metal detectors for loot and danger and will stop what the party is doing in order to make sure mundane shit is safe.

Some chick that falls into a small fit of despair if her character isn't rolling high or "winning"

There's our local no-rp munchkin

Our Dm is autistic when it comes to solutions to intrigue sessions

And I'm pretty sure I have made someone uncomfortable with magic realm at the table before

And how many of his characters died?

None, i assume

Thought so. The reason for this is because you humor him instead of making him face reality

>He's in his mid 30's
>Has never worked a day in his life but is not from a rich family
>Medically diagnosed with assburgers and has been seeing a therapist for a decade, since the college threw him out for having a violent mental breakdown on campus over an episode of Venture Brothers
>Magical realms hard with borderline pedophilia and resulting fascination with shortstacks
>Every character he makes is him
>Gets angry if something happens in game that he didn't anticipate
>Tries very obviously to cheat the dice and gets caught every time, to the point I had to outlaw dice in place of a tablet app
>Tries to minmax but isn't smart enough to actually pull it off
>Occasionally gets confused and will refer to something in character that happened in a different campaign to a different character
>Will shriek at the top of his lungs when he loses an argument. Literal autistic shrieking.

fat, unwashed, smelly
eats really messy food at the sessions, usually with his hands
his character has never once gone with the party. he always goes off and tries to do a solo mission then grets upset when the GM focuses the whole session on the actual party

These are jokes right? These things don't really happen.

If by some sad state of affairs one of these are true, I hope you one day realize players are a diamond dozen.

I have 6 players in my group, and 3 more who show up occasionally to play npcs for me. I regularly tell them I want to trim the player count to 4 and the only reason I don't is because everyone is cool all the time.

>I hope you one day realize players are a diamond dozen
Unless you're stuck in some shithole in the middle of nowhere and these shitheads are part of the 3 other people that are willing to join a game.

>flashback from sessions with Tumblr: the Human
brrrrr

Jesus.

So, what, the average fa/tg/uy?

>diamond dozen
kek

The correct phrasing is 'a dime a dozen'. yw

>not recognizing the ancient /tg meme
Summer pls

>plays a super bonkers homebrew farseer in rogue trader.
>Farseer is named vax,illdan
>has a banshee mask
>Roleplays said banshee mask by yelling at the top of his lungs each time it is his turn in combat
>That is the only roleplaying he does
>Complains aggressively that the other players do not roleplay well enough
>One night it almost comes to blows between him and another player
>There is talk about kicking him out
>He quits the group on his own accord

>diamond dozen

What if instead of having this thread everyday you talked to the person who's bothering you so much like an adult?

>always plays some sort of bitchy woman
>completely buries every other PC when they fail a roll no matter how easy or hard it would have been
>doesn't even attempt to characterize his PCs
>tries to "win" the game (his words)
>refuses to play a system he can't abuse to make completely broken murdermachines
>one day he decides to proudly present us his inner /pol/
>in a group with two jews and an arab
>kick him from all our servers and campaigns
>suddenly all games improve

the original phrasing is correct if you ignore everything else he said. players are little sparkling diamond droplets of piss you have to sustain yourself on across a wasteland where I am. Due to complications, I can't game online.

Your group sounds fun. I wish I could play in it.

Not him, but if you say things "ironically" you eventually end up saying them for real. Be careful you don't erode your own speech skills.

T. Started saying "radicool" as a joke and now use it all the time

>constantly on his phone
>Doesn't roleplay
>Only becomes active in combat

>Constantly complains about never getting a chance to role play
>Complains about non-RP combat
>Never roleplays
>Misses every hook the GM gives him
>Sits idle during RP combat

That's more typical of "passive" players.

It means the Internet is more important than the game--or, the game is too "hard" for them to get into, so they just escape from it and play passively.

If the player is generally less social and a couple other characters dominate the party direction/roleplay, then this is rather bound to happen.

I've only ever had one "That Guy" experience

>At LGS
>Playing a one-shot
>Premise is that we're a family of dragons, a mother, a father, and two prophecy marked younglings
>We're being encroached upon by humans, and getting more and more hemmed in
>The two kids (I was playing one) start off weak, but can gain certain powers by consuming special stuff, and are supposed to grow powerful enough to break the grip of the humans.
>Neat enough premise, so I join up
>That Guy is playing the father dragon.
>Starts off the strongest, but can't fly
>Fight what I think were Salamanders, but I don't 100% remember, get wounded but win, retreat to our lair to heal up and plan our next move.
>Father dragon holding the Salamander skins that us baby dragons need to eat.
>Ask him to hand them over, they're useless to him
>Get a random shout of 'I'M AN ABUSIVE ALCOHOLIC FATHER DRAGON, TIME FOR YOUR SPANKINGS YA LITTLE SHITS'
>And I do mean shouted, pretty much everyone in the LGS turned to look at him.
>Kills me and the other youngling
>well fuck.
>TIME TO MAKE ME SOME NEW BABIES! before announcing in a more normal tone his plan to rape the mother dragon.
>Game ends, guy is a persona non grata in the store.

>ignores the setting and makes his furry OC his PC
>acts grimderp in a lighthearted fantasy adventure
>all his RP is brooding about his backstory and his post-adventure plans
>shows no interest in the main plot or any of the other PCs and frequently ignores them
>constantly complaining that he's not doing enough damage or hitting often enough
>doesn't realize that he's almost trivializing every fight and the GM is getting frustrated
>argues that his guns should instant-kill humanoid enemies (but not him of course)
>intentionally kills defeated enemies even when we needed to interrogate them
>claims that it's "what my character would do, stop complaining"
>we tell him to shape up and play nicer or we'll kick him.
>he agrees, is quieter the next session, then goes right back to being an asshole
>whines that the GM won't give him a cute waifu(male)
>secretly sends the GM details about his waifu(male) and asks for him to make her(him) an NPC
>throws a bitch-fit when the GM refuses to indulge him
>privately complains to me that the GM is a homophobe who is discriminating against him
>doesn't realize I'm trans and everyone else in the group knows, GM included
>he misses a session and we all have a much better time
>We all ask him to leave the group the next day
>he deletes every character sheet, handout, or icon he had access to in Roll20
>GM has to spend 6 hours restoring all the lost images, text, and macros

Fuck 'Claudius'.

Not everyone is the Chad Thundercock of GMs buddy.

You know him. He's that guy. If you don't know who I'm talking about it's because you're that guy.

>tfw giant furfag
>GM knows it and encourages me to play a beastfolk
>I don't want to play a beast person
>tfw my GM pressures me into being more of a furfag than I actually am.

so i had one really good "That guy" encounter
find a game that looks "ok" dm is a first timer
hes inviting 2 of his friends to start and needs "any" amount of other players
so far there is the dm his 2 friends me and one other guy
Farkas Mac tavish, or mac tavish farkas, or any other fucking iteration of this stupid name
The soon to be king of this story
i have about 4-5 stories that happens in these 17 sessions that are great but i think without going into much detail it basically sums up to
>farkas takes his hermaphrodite lizard lady and try's to erp with a wolf man at a bar that i don't even know how we got to
>farkas gives me a ring one session because we traded magic items and then forgets about it and ends up with both items cause of dm favoritism
>farkas says how cool it would be to get a "sword of haste" for a monk weapon
>farkas then gets a sword of haste monk weapon at level 3
>me and the dwarf sitting around the campfire about to rest for the night
>realize our backstories sync up in a weird horrible way
>i basically found a relic that connected me to my patron GOO
>and the dwarf got his family turned into a skin flute for a ritual by some fish people
>while this happens the remainder of the party is touching farkas lizard ladys giant cock
>did i also mention that the gm dropped out of this about 1 session in and his friends picked it up for the remaining 16

to add onto this if you guys want to see this guys absolutely 10/10 art go look at his deviant art Mactavishthefarkas he linked it like 10 fucking times in the forums we had
and even linked his hentaifoundry account at one point

>and even linked his hentaifoundry account

Why did you stay until session 17?

Answered your own question, there.

i had so little going on and it was so god dam entertaining
There was literally a point where i looted a item before the gm's could loot
Yes the players who became gms still played characters
and i was a warlock so i picked up the item equipped went to heal and it was a cloak of
apparently anti-magic cause my magic exploded in my face and did 2d6 damage
for fun ill list the op as fuck magic items we got session 2 at level 2-3
Cleric: cloak of arachnid- that spider cloak thing
Warlock(me): +2 charsima book pretty good shit
Wizard(dm): bag full of level 3-8 spells such great editions such as Disintegrate at character level 2 but its on a scroll so its ok
and geas which he tried to cast on me to give him the blow up magic cape
Barb(dm): vorpal axe at level 2
Monk(farkas): Sword of haste
Fighter(fellow sane player dwarf): Sword of 8 damage all the fucking time it made the game so boring for him it was crazy

...

We're level 11 and I can't remember the last time he used a spell that wasn't See Invisibility, Shocking Grasp, or Ice Knife. He's an Arcane Trickster. I am thoroughly convinced he simply does not give a shit and I'm not really sure why he keeps showing up. Also he's only dealt Sneak Attack damage a single time in recent memory despite attacking twice per round.

The most "that guy" person in our group is the guy that hardly ever shows up but we don't want to ban when he does feel like coming.

>Dislikes: Kevin Robinson from school fuck you Kevin stop showin everyone my fuckin Deviantart page you peace of shit

Military grade stupidity

Steals everything and acts nonchalant about it. Otherwise pleasant.

man i want to meet kevin now

Your GM seems to be coming from a good place at least, maybe he/she wants you to feel more comfortable in-character. If you don't want to be pressured into playing a beastfolk you should let them know, they'll stop pushing you towards it.

Eh, he runs away from adventure and universally plays cowardly characters.

I mean, I'm sort of that guy to his games given the wrenches I've thrown because of rp, but different characters and different games.

I've spoken to him about it but I'm not sure what to do to correct it.

He says he wants to change than a week later he goes back to it.

His current antics have included alienating every single NPC we come across by threatening to eat them and adopting aberrations as a Druid.

I love the guy, he's awesome and a good friend and an amazing DM, but he can't seem to shake some habits as a player.

I was then critiqued for allowing his bullshit to fly instead of just handing him an NPC to play as.

So yeah, he is our resident that guy but as far as that guys go he's not that bad.

>His excuse is that he is in character.
this so much fucking this.

You're either a furfag or you're not lad

>proudly present his inner /pol/

What did he say, user?

He went into a lengthy rant about "rapefugees" and how all sandniggers should drown in the sea. Then about an awkward hour later, he suddenly goes about "kikes running everything to the ground" and at that point half the group was kinda miffed with this cunt wanting them dead.

mine () is true
we play in a school sponsored club so from my understanding it’s more of a hassle for the GM to report/get the player removed than it is to just deal with his bullshit

Aren't autistic people just a gift?

You can be a homophobe but tolerate trans people. As President George Dubya Bush said in a Mad T.V. skit, gay people can marry other gay people "as long as the parts much up"

>>not murdering this player very painfully
FTFY

Fine RPer, interested in the game.

Is incredibly attention-seeking and gets majorly butthurt when other people get their questions answered first. This is compounded by the fact that That Guy asks incredibly inane retarded questions that could be answered by paying attention and using a lick of common sense. Passively-aggressively hates on anyone who tries to move the game along instead of listening to them dick around going 'I look at X thing everyone else already examined, I THINK about MAYBE doing this plan which I haven't shared with anyone else, baaw baaw pay attention to me daddy DM as I ask for dumb OOC metagame information instead of taking IC action.'

When they're not being fucking retarded over nothing and failing to get along with the other players they're actually good and fun, which is why I haven't kicked them yet. But if they ever increase the levels of delusional drama whoring you can bet I'll boot them in a flash.

Remember if you can't think of who that guy is in your group it's probably you.

> the Chad Thundercock of GMs

i laughed pretty hard, thanks user

She accuses me the DM of cheating whenever things don't make sense to her, insults the quality of the encounters, and derails the game with out-of-character stream-of-consciousness outbursts at key moments.

Moratorium on gameplay until I find out how to handle her, as she is our best player's girlfriend.

Talk to her directly, tell her the bullshit stops, period, or she will be asked to leave.
Talk to the "best player", tell him exactly what the shit is about, and tell him that if she doesn't shape out, she ships out, and if he wants to leverage himself, then he goes with her.

>girlfriend of a player on table
Biggest mistake.

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

No, the mistake is having people at the table who are not there to game and not establishing a baseline for acceptable behavior.
My group has my gf AND my friend's gf with no problems because everyone knows what the expectations are, and are held to them without fail.

this

GFs who already like games are probably about as common as unicorns but it's not the GFness that's the problem, it's the 'filthy casual who doesn't want to be there' that's the problem

It's also a case of what you like may not be what others like.
My gf doesn't have a background in fantasy, and has no great like of it. She enjoys strong supernatural ideals, so shit like CoC and WoD are right up her alley.
She's been bugging me to run D&D tho, because she really wants to see what it's all about, and honestly, it will be different playing with someone who isn't already well aware of all the tropes and background.

Unironicaly thinks the only thing Hitler did wrong was attacking the Soviets before dealing with the British, reminds us weekly how he can't wait to "purge those leftists cucks," plays a blonde haired, blue eyed, white male human fighter in a big red hat, calls every NPC darker than milk a spic or a nigger, actively tries to injure or kill other players if they play anything other than a hetero white male, actively shares redpill caps and memes in his phone in game, tried to build a concentration camp to exterminate dwarves and gnomes, calls anyone who plays a female character a fag, anyone who plays a halflings or gnome a pedophile, has spit on other players sheets and mini's, and I'm surprised you're still reading obvious satire.

Fuck off mark. You're the that guy of the group and you know it. Fucking take a bath, and stop trying to bring a character that isn't a "omg trap loli" being its only feature for the actual role play element.

Get a job and pay Ray some rent money for a change instead of being a fucking parasite.
Oh and asking Ray to make your character sheet was really fucking cute too.

Throw a glass of cold water in his face.

I've never seen anything shut someone up faster, short of euthanasia by bullet.

"Tank guy" whenever mechs are relevant in ant sci fi setting or conversation. Yes, we know tanks will always be better at being tanks. We just don't give a fuck.

All his characters are women belonging to some form of short race such as gnomes or halflings. They all have the same personality of wacky, goofy and "cheeky" and also a complete unwillingness to be helpful to the party despite him commonly playing support based classes.
He also dozes off regularly mid session because he sleeps like a fucking idiot.
He will cheerfully chug his way through a four pack of energy drinks in half an hour, while also snacking on more junk than the rest of the party combined. This somehow doesn't stop him from dozing off.
Super autist about rules and pouts when he doesn't get his way. I'm amazed he's not dead yet.

>college threw him out for having a violent mental breakdown on campus over an episode of Venture Brothers

Which Episode?

>Medically diagnosed with assburgers and has been seeing a therapist for a decade, since the college threw him out for having a violent mental breakdown on campus over an episode of Venture Brothers

Where do you guys fucking find these people

do you just waltz into your local gamestore and round up whoever is stuck to the floor there?

>chug his way through a four pack of energy drinks in half an hour. This somehow doesn't stop him from dozing off.

Sounds like me. It'd help if GM didn't wanna do shit all afternoon start the session at 7pm, then run the session on till 2am or later. I wake up a good 3 hours before anyone else in the group. 12 if you exclude GM and his slam piece.

He would always stand in the corner of a room or away from the party, doesn't speak much unless absolutely needed, meta games, gets mad and starts yelling if the GM somehow tempered with his character, always trying to be the edgelord, was absent for 6/10 campaigns because he wanted to play games instead.

Tl;dr edgelord wannabe.

Our sessions generally start at 2pm and end at 6pm or 7pm. He is unemployed, just goes to bed at 7am because he has no self control.

>Tumblr : The Human

ELABORATE IMMEDIATELY

Playing Silent from The Black Company could be interesting.

This is not how you do that.

...

>Best pal with one of the GMs and a player so we have to accept him from time to time or else we lose him and the player
>Has a inferiority complex in games the size of VY Canis Majoris, doesn't matter what he does, his character is worse than anybody, and even if we manage to prove another char is worse in that field he just goes with "I don't care about your char"
>"That's what my character would do!" therefore he thinks he's exempt of dealing with the consequences
>Everything has to go like he wants, any deviation from that is unacceptable and throws a hissy fit. This goes awful when he DMd as he shout several times (or so I heard, I left the first time) "I'm the GM, I'm God, my words are law"
>Pretends to get biggest part of the bounties even when he does literally nothing
>Pretends that everybody protects his character to the point of sacrificing themselves
>Prety much always plays dwarves
>Always plays some kind of caster and expects magic > everything else
Thankfully we learn from our mistake and he doesn't DM anymore
And luckily his schedule is very tight so we don't have to deal with him much

She's right. It's fine if you want to play that kind of game but don't call it something it's not.

Got a chuckle outta me

kek

Not sure how your school clubs work, but if someone doesn't want to run a game for someone else due to their hygiene, or their behavior, then they say "You're not welcome here" if they're polite, or "Fuck off" if they're not.

>naps through every other session
>we have to poke him awake on his turn during combat
>he'll grumpily roll a dice without declaring who he's attacking or checking to see if he even can attack the enemy
>he then promptly goes back to sleep
>insists that he be allowed to play a party face and gets pissy if anyone else makes a charisma character

Is he gm's friend, owner of the place. gm's gay boyfriend? If no, then kick him out

Plays the same edgy, chaotic stupid, lolsorandumd character every game. Comes up with a backstory linking to other characters of his in unrelated campaigns. Attacks important NPCs. Always tries to split the party. Hogs the spotlight. Tries to tell the GM the results of his actions instead of rolling. Intentionally fucks up plans. Betrays the party. Tries to get us to quit playing early when he gets bored. Can't be kicked out because he's another player's brother.

>can't be kicked out because he's XXXX

No, fuck that. Unless that player is literally so good that he offsets the stupidity, let him go.

I am also curious