You are dropped into a post apocalyptic ultra violence campaign and the nearest three items to your right are all you...

a backpack filled with some snacks but mostly dnd materials (books, pencils, pens, paper, etc.)
my 2nd laptop
a painting

i think id do okay until the battery on my laptop died since i wouldnt have a way to charge it for a few weeks
i'd be like the weak but nerdy guy, like a tech-y support character

Empty moonshine bottle, a dog rope toy that's for large dogs, and does an animal count as an item, because if so my rottie-shepard cross is with me Skully is almost ten years and personally, while he can still crush pig hooves in a single bite, I would rather have him as company. Get lonely out there with no friends

Son, I'm fucked even if I had a superweapon, ammo, and a decades worth of food supplies with in reach. So are we all. This is Veeky Forums not /k/ or /out/.

Two swords and a walking stick.
One's a dress sword so fighting with it's a write-off, but the other one's solid and well sharpened and it's a good stick. I guess it could be worse.

A landline phone handset, and two steel-toe boots.
I don't think curbstomping is an effective combat method, but what else am I to do?

>backup power supply about the power of my torso
>an old lamp
>the cardboard that holds new socks together with the brand name and on it
I guess I at least have a weapon and a source of power?

>power of my torso
size
fuckin brain

--A notebook 90% filled with stuff for my Sims game.
--A bowl of instant oatmeal, half finished.
--A ceramic vase 1/3 full of spare change.

My coffee's still in the other room. Yeah, I'm dead.

It depends on how hard you can stomp user.

Sledgehammer, shoes, suit of lamellar armor.

I'm fucked, but not as fucked as the rest of you lot.

I don't understand how everbody's first two answers aren't mouse and mousepad tbhfam

a plate
my head phones
and one kick ass printer
guess im gonnna beat people up with a printer

Why the fuck is your mouse to your right and not forward on a desk?

A bar of soap and two disposable razors
>this is how I start my merchant empire

Large knife, rosary necklace , motorbike helmet.

Pillow, 1/4 full bottle of water, and a protein bar. Could've been way worse. Still probably gonna die from radiation.

An apple, a laptop and an old iPad. Unironically the apple may be the most useful thing for longterm survival.

I'm on a labtop using a trackpad.

Since no one else has counted the mouse that their hand is seated on:
>My glasses (helpful but not totally necessary. My vision's not terrible and I can start fires with them)
>A laptop power cord (cord is always useful)
>Survival knife (contains compass, matches, fishing gear, and is a knife)

I'm gonna be dealing with a lot of hiding until I scavenge some proper weaponry but I'm not exactly proper fucked right off the bat.

>I'm on a labtop
gross, get a desktop like real men do

But I'm in bed.
>Not them

Erm a dinosaur book with stickers
A cooking book which is in russian
A little Disney "Jungle Book" Book
Well I think I can Blugeon someone to death with a cooking book, that thing is quite big and heavy, dunno what to do with two other books though

>is them
So am I, as it happens.

A plastic carnifex scything talon, a hooked sculpting tool and a teaspoon.

>Dinosaur book with stickers
Wow, you win. Like, straight up. You just win the setting

A folding pocket manicure-thingy, a cup of coffee and a box of snus.
It could be worse, but probably not by much.

Are Warhammer Minis a weapon?

They CAAAAAAN be a weapon.

Glock 19 with a full 15-rnd mag of Gold Dots
table lamp
empty coffee cup

I'll do alright against the first half-dozen masked raiders. After that I'll take up the Buddhist street beggar shtick with my mug.

youtube.com/watch?v=KnxgQMSsc8c

>steel folding chair
>giant glass beer mug
>second giant glass beer mug
I think I'm good

>High quality microphone
>Portable labtop
>Headset
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

>Almost empty can of pringles
>Almost empty bottle of water
>Mouse with almost no battery life left

Glass bottle with water.
Plastic shoehorn.
Multi-head screwdriver kit.

Pretty fucked.

>Iphone 7
>Prescription aviator sunglasses
>An empty jar

Can protect my eyes, and shank a bitch with the jar if I break it. Phone's useless.

>Bottle of Vodka
>Bottle of rum
>Kilt I can't be arsed to put away

Well, at least I die drunk and kilted.

>domestos
>soap
>toilet paper
I'M GOING DOWN CLEAN

Standing on them might hurt.

Ar15, s&w m&p2.0 and my chest rig that contains six(6) 30rnd mags and one(1) 40rnd mag for my at and three(3) 17rnd mags for my m&p so I'm fairly certain I'm well off. Feels good to be posting after a range trip

>vibrating dildo
>inflatable buttplug
>unloaded SLR-104

>Galaxy S6, playing youtube.com/watch?v=ML4Jx76vSTk
>Aspire E15 E5-521-81GK
>earphones
...well. Do I really have to die with my awful laptop? Are the mutants and me opposite sides of the same coin?
Yes, if you pray to the Emperor REALLY hard.

bump

Why do you have those specific things near you?

That depends. Maybe you ARE a mutant as well, I'd allow such a thing.

Aviator glasses, watch, 3'x5' flag of Kazakhstan

Blanket, shoes, and an electric guitar. I didn't choose the bard life, it apparently chose me

I was fingerfucking the AK just earlier so obviously I unloaded it, and the buttplug and dildo were in a bag along with 200 feet of rope and some lube, which I was using yesterday night. I keep my desk mostly clear so unless you count shit like my PC tower or headset then those were the three closest things to my right.

Well, it isn't all bad, I have coffee.

Peanut butter cups, a pen, and a plush Gengar. At least I'll have some snacks and Gengar to keep me company.

You could use the pen as a weapon.

Could be worse.

A gun, knife, and dildo are pretty good items.

Bedpost, curtain, curtain pole.

At least I can make some decent makeshift weapons and clothing.

> ITT: Plebs that don't wear plate armor, a blade, and shield while shitposting.

Half a bottle of water.
Pair of toenail clippers
And a pair of limited edition Dr pepper underpants

Sounds like an fanstaic story

Yeah man, a pistol, a knife, and 24 cents? You're pretty well off!

> unlimited power torso

Two guns and a beer... I'll be fine

I'm really upset this game doesn't work on Windows 10

78 cents

What are you gonna do with a table and two pennies though? Even discounting the table, those coins will eat up your item limit.

A cup, a coaster and a coffee-stained business plan.

At least I can break the glass and cut my wrists.

A massive fucking animal cage, a computer and gun. Well then I guess ill just run around smashing people with a cage.

youtube.com/watch?v=ikuA6WfgTO8

a plate of toast, a glass of orange juice and a pillow
Unless my enemies feel like breakfast in bed I'm fucked.

>You are dropped into a post apocalyptic ultra violence campaign and the nearest three items to your right are all you have to defend yourself.
An empty Pepsi can.
A really comfy Vietnamese dressing gown.
A nearly-full notebook full of to-do and shopping lists and a record of how I ruined five years of my life.

The apocalypse is unnecessary.

my AR-15, my .40 pistol and my guitar...

A crucifix, a little bell and a toy shield.

The shittiest cleric ever, I'll be dead as soon as I ring the bell (to make it quick at least)

KEK!

I am stealing this idea, thankyou very much

>Mug
Probably not great
>Teapot
Useful for survival, not so much for fighting
>Hand and a half sword
Not a very good sword, more a display piece than anything else seeing as it is currently mounted to the wall, but it would probably be a fairly serviceable weapon under the circumstances.

>pansy of a dog
>coffee mug
>nail clippers

Yeah I'm pretty fucked, my dog doesn't have a shred of hostility in him, has filed teeth and is scared of the sky unless someone is outside with him, I could smack someone with my mug but wouldn't last long even got in a one on one fight and while could use the nail clippers in a fight they won't stand up against an actual weapon

If the apocalypse is of a religious nature though so that beasties of the new world respect your crucifix, though, it's a fairly powerful survival tool. Cultivate a fiery and passionate method of public speaking and you might be able to attract a couple goons to protect you, at least as long as you're not a total ass about it.

>my glasses
>a copy of the coming of Conan the Cimmerian
>a copy of the art of war

At least I'll be able to see.

>phone
>guitar
>amplifier

Loaded colt revolver, my guitar, and warhammer minis

Knife, Stuffed Dolphin, Mousepad

This

>Having a copy of the Art of War
>Thinking you can't use that knowledge to survive better

>Rifle
>machete
>snek in his enclosure
We ranger now I guess. I wish I'd left something more powerful than my .22 out.

Empty bottle of Guinness Extra Stout, the head of a donkey pinata and a phone. I guess I'm gonna be the next "Wild Wasteland" encounter

Three different pillows.
I'm fucked.

>the nearest three items to your right are all you have to defend yourself
God bless America

We have prepared for this day

>Phone.
>Headset.
>Glass of Pills.

Best case scenario i get a shirt-clad black guy to follow me out of the promise of medication.

I've got two expensive pillows and a sofa.

Gonna nap till something kills me in my sleep.

A cellphone, a globe, and a glass of water.

I suppose at best I could sort of wing it into being some sort of navigator/cartographer or something. Unfortunately a globe is not particularly helpful for low-tech short distance navigation.

>Half a can of mountain dew
>Water bottle
>Nail clippers I found on the ground one day

I will master the clippers and be so well hydrated that no one can stop me from clipping them.

A keyboard, a mouse, and an empty gatorade bottle

I have everything I need

Jokes on you I'm left handed. On computer, anyway.

Aside from my computer, theres my phone, a 100 trillion zimbabwe dollar bill, and about 15 mini chocolate easter eggs left from April. P bad, but the phone might be good.

>PC, Glasses, and an iPod

R.I.P.