Elf VS Dwarf

You know nothing tree fucker

>manlet with excessive body hair

>Confusing my brothers little dick for my sister's massive clit

Typical elf

>Hairy Manlet
>Lazy confused elf looking at a mirror

Typical elves, aren't you supposed to be busy working right now or is your master not looking?

I know what its like to have sex with human women since I'm not a fat hairy midget.

>I know what its like to have sex

Says every virgin

>Human women
Ugh

Abomination

THREAD IMPROVEMENT TIME

In a continuing effort to improve the post/thread quality on Veeky Forums, this thread has been selected for topic reassignment. Based on the last number of this post, the topic of this thread is now:
1. Fantasy species origins: How do you handle the origins of the playable (or nonplayable) races in your game?
2. When you create a religion(s) for your game, do you start at the beginning and create an origin story? A reason why the religion is what it is? Could be something as simple as "X god always existed" or have more real-world analogues.
3. Favorite/Least favorite TTRPG mechanics.
4. If you could kludge two TTRPG systems together, what would you pick and why?
5. Futuristic settings without humans. Perhaps Elves are the harbingers of technology, or dwarves? How would things change? Transdwarvenism?
6. What's the afterlife in your game like, Veeky Forums?
7. Historical banter as it pertains to fantasy game settings.
8. Character art thread: Background Blurb Edition
9. What's something you always try including in your games that's endearing or funny, or maybe awesome? Cross-genre is fine too.
0. Does cell phones existing in modern/near future games ever give you problems? Like, PCs having easy access to sound recording, video, pictures, GPS, that sort of thing? Or are you good at planning around it?

You think you can derail elves and dwarves user?

Posting epic Veeky Forums beards

>Thread derailer
Fucking kender

Yeah, I usually do Unknown Armies games in the 80s to maybe early 2000 to try and get around cell phones.

Honestly I think dwarf chicks are sexier than elf ones.

>Dwarf poster trying to derail after dwarves start losing

Typical

>cell phones
40k, my friend, where AT&T is the mechanicus and they're in no hurry to fix your shoddy vox line. Plus all sorts of interference warp and otherwise.

Well said

I don't run any futuristic settings, but I can't imagine why it would be a problem. Players will use whatever they can, so why should it matter if they can access a ton of in-universe lore? Just cause someone says something on the internet doesn't make it true.

I don't believe you

That's actually quite a good point, sifting through crap to find the nugget of truth will be an even more difficult endeavour in the future. Add on astroturfing and all sorts of government and corporate counterintelligence and you've really got a stew going.

Related question, has anyone seen a system do information warfare well? (Recon, informants, SIGINT, hacking, political posturing, all of the above?)

>user gets roasted and tries to flip the metaphorical table

You'd think all that time rubbing your dick against tree bark would toughen your skin up a little

Explain yourself user

Says the rock pounder that has to ask his own kind if their women or not

Dwarf women are more fuckable. THICC > stick

Sexy beards and chicks that look like they came straight from the earth kingdom

Plus that +2 con means they won’t die to a cold.

...

>Can't tell the difference between male/female dwarves

They're called tits elf here take a look since you've never seen them before

>chicks that look like they came straight from the earth kingdom

The dwarves win

>Confusing fat for THICC
>Straight out of the earth
>literally filthy
>catching diseases

>Dwarves win

Every time user

Only the lazy ones.

Miners and warriors are build like tiny pillermen.

>Asian dwarf women

Shit user, I have enough fetishes don't give me another

>The lazy ones

So all of them?

Well when you have a booming economy built around mining and mushrooms what can you do?

Success does tend to make people fat.

...

Ah yes I can imagine dwarves prefer human men since they look like feminine tall dwarf women.

Dwarves are best.

You're both awful. Orcs are the best race. Goblins are a close second.

>orks
>not skeletons

user’s official race guide
from best to worst

>Skeletons
Skeletons are basically perpetual motion machines, without basic biological needs a skeleton can basically accomplish whatever he sets his mind too.
>humans
Infinitely variable and driven by their short lives. Jack of all trades, master of none. Biological weakness is typically why they lose, putting skeletons at the top.
>goblins
Like humans but evil, short, and weaker
>Dwarves
Beings of industry and order, honest and hardworking. Their inflexibility is typically their flaw, and can screw them.
>Hobbits
Lazy and artsy.
>elves
Typically inflexible like dwarves but more artsy. Stereotypically jerks.
>orcs
Typically lead ugly and short lives.
>misc
I really don’t care

Naturally these change by setting, but this is the basic chart.

>Implying they're even a race

Skeletons can't be better than humans, considering they're just humans who were dumb enough to get killed.

>tfw your ears are sharper than any dwarf's wit

Or orks, or dwarves, or hobbits, etc.

Plus most natural skeletons are mindless, sentient skeletons most of the time did it to themselves.

Here’s how skeletons are better.
A human needs farmland.
A skeleton doesn’t need farmland.

Skeletons are humans who lost their weakness.

What about Orc-skeletons?

>Dwarves start "vs" thread to try and raise their ego somewhere above their shoulders
>Once they start getting roasted back they collectively stick their fingers in ears and start screaming "lalalala we won"
>their best insult to an elf is "elf"

Gotta learn how to take it before you start trying to dish it out

What if a half-elf and a half-dwarf had sex? Would the baby be a human with unusually excessive body hair and pointy ears?

How about this then? Elf lovers are just sissy males who can't be differentiated from their women thanks to their feminine body. There are only female elves, and traps.

Why did you put shades on your ass?

2/10 you tried. Too much repetition of a single point, so instead of being insulting, it just sounds whiny.

Kinda like you guys sound when someone suggests a carpet is better on the floor, not on the chin.

>mfw my ass is at dwarf beard height

>when someone suggests a carpet is better on the floor, not on the chin.

To be fair, for dwarves it's about the same height.

...

Of course the lelf would know everything of interior decorating.

To be fair, i always admired one thing about your interiors - they can serve as a line of defense of their own.

I think when i last visited a dwarven fortress there was a whole force of goblins laying on the floor. Poor things died of boredom immediately upon stepping inside.

I've seen better beards on halfling feet.

Yeah, we usually have our enemies on the ground instead of our women and children. I understand elves do enjoy being enriched by orcs.

ፎድደር.

This thread is sad and you all make me feel bad about being on Veeky Forums

Well you're no fun. Arguing about stupid shit is the very essence of being a fa/tg/uy.

>Yeah, we usually have our enemies on the ground
And, judging by hundreds of your abandoned, orc-infested fortresses, under the ground.

We usually kill our enemies, you know, not everything has to be a heroic last stand.

Hell, we've even had elves that have gone and tried to kill the gods we got so bored with the mundane things that dwarves wallow in.
Those elves were even better at being dwarves than most dwavres are. They had an automaton based society, most dwarves are still digging coal for "muh industry."

Typical lelf, no honor.
You know that a barricade of women with their asses sticking outwards isn't a defense, right? And nice locations too, it's not like forests aren't prone to anything, right? Hell, I'm sure roasted elf stopped being a delicacy.

Yet you elves always die out... it's too bad, really, no wait it isn't thanks to elves no longer fucking with things more powerful than themselves (not like that's a short list either). Really, it's proper natural selection.
You are all hilariously weak, even with magic you all die.

Robits and goblin slaves are stealing jobs from the common dwarf!

Can your dwarves do this?

I don't think there was ever an instance in fanatsy where burning down a forest was a legitimate strategy. People seem to overstimate how actually difficult it is to burn a forst down. Also honor is great for individuals, but if your entire civilization is dead then there is nobody to remember how honorable everyone was in it.

>And nice locations too, it's not like forests aren't prone to anything, right?

Have you ever tried to burn a forest? Have you tried to burn a forest while forest is strangling you?

Also funny hearing about honor from people who get half of their fortress' children population kidnapped by goblins annualy but are too afraid to step out of their arbitrary "fortress boundaries".

whoa..... so This is what's considered role playing here.....

>Yet you elves always die out...
>they actually believe that
When you have entire universe ready to open up at the snap of your fingers, you do tend to leave the boring material plane behind. Maybe you could join us in, like, million years or so. It's fine, we can wait.

Oh, and about fucking with powerful things, it's not like at least half of your fortresses that died out did so because you dug too greedily and too deep and unleashed some sort of ungodly abomination that was put underground for very good reasons.

>muh afterlife
Keep telling yourself that mate, keep clinging to your past while we invent the future. We don't dig because "we're bored" we dig for progress, for purpose. Yet seeing how you use your children, I can see you elves don't care much for what will come. Face it, with all that lifespan a dwarf still accomplishes more in his, and you elves are what was, dwarves are will continue to forge foward.

Banter is always fun, and it's even better when it's something I'm kinda detached from but still have fun with it.

And here I thought you went to work all day "digging in the mines" to get away from your dwarf "women" and their even worse food.

Dwarves are basically British without the naval prowess, ie SHIT.

>"Invent the future"
Hah, because the people that are scared of stepping outside for falling into the sky will surely lead the future. Humans are better at that than you.
Sure, if you count crafting trinkets that will be forgotten the next time your fortress is wiped out progress than you have that going for you. Meanwhile we elves will continue to listen to the music of life and learn of everything there is. In the end, we're content to be a part of the world.
That happens when even our whispers can bend the leaves to our will.
Oh, and do try to actually do some engineering above ground. Just digging into stone and calling it grand gets rather boring, don't you think?

And elves are comparable to the lowly savage or some kind of fair-skinned race that gets raped a lot (hmmmmm). Elves are trash, even with the magic they use. And I'm sure the bugs and twigs you things eat is nutritious. Though I recommend more beetles, elven men need more protein by the looks of 'em.

>Yet you elves always die out
Dwarves too. They both share that trope.

>afterlife
well, i guess for you dwarves even aboveground would count as something that does not exist, let alone infinite worlds beyond this one.

And we can always get an elven woman, s'not like they actually want to be with an elven """"man"""".

Oops, thought elves died out because as technology progress, magic regresses. And seeing how dwarfs are on the side of tech, thought they didn't share that.

You guys sure like to work the rape angle. That's understandable - for lowly goblinbait, dragging other race to your level must feel good.

>because as technology progress, magic regresses
Arcanum, ... sorry, that is all I can think of. There is a variant of "depends on the setting" that goes somewhat like "what the fuck are you even talkign about".

>as technology progress, magic regresses

That's what happens when your whole race can't look up without breaking their necks.

Oh, pardon me, forgot the picture.

Look, this is what happens when you are actually smart, and not a magically illiterate, engineering-obsessed autist.

The beard is a lot less repulsive on women if it's designed like sort of a lion's mane.

The invention of the gun has a bone to pick with you, mate. As for bending nature to our will, that's chemistry and engineering. Human villages burn easy and fall even easier, fortresses are strong and intelligently designed, of course you would know nothing of carving something with your own hands you pansy, a obvious demonstration that we may be closer to the earth than you think. And what will become of you if the land itself rots? Will you not for away as well? Lava and fire are a dwarf's end, the elf's is mushrooms and worms.

Ha! Nobody finds dwarfish males attractive. For all their talk about "manliness" they are the most asexual race, for all their manliness is devoid of anything attractive, sexy. It's an ugly and childish display of what a kid things is considered manly, more akin to orcs.

Yet the attraction some girls have to tall, handsome elven males is widely known.

All of these assblasted elves... feels great.

Ah yes, the drow. This one is obviously going to get beaten by his female overlords soon I assume. And there's a reason there are more half-elves, even the humans are better than an elf.

>the elf's is mushrooms and worms
What? It's always mushrooms that are depicted as warven cuisine. The elves you are talking about don't exist. Also the progress you are talking about is also barely a thing. We get warhammer dwarves that can invent a gun. And need thousand years for that. I don't think you know anything about dwarves.