What do you guys normally do when your DM pulls a Orc Baby dilemma on your group?

>you might as well hate native Africans
I think you meant American African

Think about how my character would react to such a situation and then act in accordance?

no baby can be inherently evil as babies are too stupid to be evil

This is the only correct response.

Good, that makes the stir-fry less of a moral conundrum.

Is this the ultimate fuck you to the DM?

I don't play D&D so there's no dilemma.

Yes

Yeah, but I shouldn’t

TA Paladins are the ultimate softy paladins, though.

Unless you make Marche one.

I take the baby and raise it to adulthood, all the while telling it about the man who killed its parents and teaching it to fight so that it may one day seek revenge. When it is grown and I have nothing left to teach it, I tell it that I am the one who killed his parents.

Throw it off a cliff, fuck orcs.

I will literally never feel bad for killing an orc and if by some chance an orc was a pitiable figure then killing them would be merciful because I am freeing them from the burden of continuing to exist as an orc. I will ignore contrarian settings in which orcs are 'just humans but talk funny dumb and stronk' and treat them as they are presented in their initial source materials.

They are a race that is made from raw and impotent rage.

They are universally warlike but will never conquer the greater races without help from a greater power. They are individually larger than most men but unable to use their strength any better than draft animals. In the category of "goblinoids" or "monstrous humanoid" they are not the most clever, the best fighters or even the most threatening. The only thing that prevents them from literally being moderately larger goblins is their ability to interbreed with humans. The fate of orcs is screaming bloody murder at a stone wall and beating your fists against the floor, nothing more or less.

Also fuck orcs.

Exactly this.
You'll be his ultimate final boss, and when he finally kills you and you lie on the ground dying, you tell him that he did you proud

Throw it in the trash, now it's someone else's problem

>The only thing that prevents them from literally being moderately larger goblins is their ability to interbreed with humans.
user...

What are you a half goblin 1/4th tiefling merfolk in 5e?

>orcs
>people

>Orcs are literally people
You could only unironically think this if you're a skub-loving halfbreed.

Sir, the readings are skyrocketing...It's breaking the records...Soon it'll go beyond measurement, captain! We need to do something!

[BEEP]
Oh shit, run! The Edge-o-meter is going nuclear! Run!

Considering the fact that I frequently play neutral to lawful evil characters I do whatever it is I'm contractually obligated to do at the time and work from there. I'm told to kill orcs? I kill orcs. Age is a non-factor. If my contractors specify that the children aren't to be harmed then I leave it there to be picked up or starve unless told to bring it and the other youngins back.

>Orcs are literally people

t. slut that can't get enough of the BOC

Toss it in a basket with 100 gp and leave it at a church. Should cover expenses until it's old enough to sweep floors or stack chairs or chop wood or something. Maybe basic education too. Im a Paladin, so this happens a lot. The nuns know its me by now so i dont even leave a note anymore

Did nothing wrong.

>The nuns know its me by now so i dont even leave a note anymore

>Sigh. He's given us another one. Sister Bethany, do we have a spare bed?
>We've already got four to a bed, Sister Martha. Can't we just... stick it in a breadbox or something?
>You can't just stick a BABY in a breadbox!
>Well then HE can stop giving us so many of them!
>He's a Paladin, what's he supposed to do?!
And thus the Nuns argued long into the night over the topic.

I throw it in the trash of course.

>moral dilemma
kek. no

Remind them Gygax disagrees with even putting them in that situation

I've never had it happen to me as a player. As a GM, if the players are ransacking a village or something, I'll often toss out there that there are, obviously, children present within, but I don't expect them to do anything about it or for that fact to change how they approach the situation, and oftentimes it doesn't. As long as the kids don't fuck with them — hell, that includes the adults — most of my players are more than happy to ignore them entirely, leaving them to their own devices thereafter.

And, again, that's perfectly fine. No one's going to see an alignment hit and no paladin's going to fall for leaving a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, regardless of their age, and especially when their parents were a bunch of Evil-aligned rapists and murderers.

Never has because he’s not a horseshit GM.
Nor have I ever done so because again, I’m not a horseshit GM.

"Why would a Gondorian come here and try to murder ALL the Orcs? Maybe you have a problem with ONE Orc, maybe a hundred. But ALL of us? Maybe the problem is with YOU."

kek

Just leave the baby there, if it dies, it dies, if not then that's fine too.

Paladins were great as part of a job mix that I can't remember anymore.

This is a Pro-Skub board user

Orcs are inherently evil, so I give him/her a quick, painless death.

>What do you guys normally do when your DM pulls a Orc Baby dilemma on your group?
Take care of it and then cast Haste on it a bunch until it's adult age, and now you have a Big Baby Orc Guard who is loyal to you.

...

Paladin/Hunter, possibly with Damage->MP from Blue Mage.

The one and only time I experienced this, the player who found the baby was evil anyway and just murdered the shit out of it before we knew it was there.

Barring evil fuckery though I'd either drop it off at the nearest temple or leave it the fuck alone

>euthanise the orc

In my setting nobody has ever seen a baby orc. They all appear adult in maturation, though they range in size from 3 to 10 feet. They appear sexless and a single orc can form a new tribe on its own, though how this happens is unknown, as orcs do not reproduce in captivity, either alone or in groups

That is both brilliant and somehow causes me to have an internal moral dilemna.
I get the feeling that the idea of causing an adult orc to have the mind of a child while fitting it out to kill people just seems a wee bit on the "evil supervillian" side of things. I mean, if it was just an animal I'd probably be okay with that, especially as it would help speed up the "Imma ride dis beetch" question. But now you have a giant orc who wants you to read it bedtime stories and go full on murder-machine at the same time. Not to mention that if it still has the mind of a toddler, then you now have a fully grown adult orc who needs its diaper changed regularly as well.

Depends on the setting.

how would you notice the difference from a regular orc tho

I had a supervillan wizard who had armies of half giants that he intentionally destroyed part of the brains of to make them more trainable and unable to read, which more often than not resulted in them being approximately down syndome levels of intelligence.

The strong will survive. Throw it in with a dwarf baby, a human baby, and an elf baby. After many years of being brought up to battle each other, I offer the best fighter the honor of being a renowned hero's sole inheritor. Yet they find that they will not kill their pit brother, as they have helped shaped them to be a better being. When they find I have gone missing, they all band together to find me again and tell them who the best fighter was.
And thus the next campaign starts.

It would be like that speech from the Goblin Slayer except you switch out the word goblin for orc. Remember, you have to smite all of the evil.

Drop it off at the nearest village with a card saying "Needs a Good Home".

Never encountered such situation in 15 years of roleplaying with various GMs.
Orc is an orc, just kill it, problem solved.

Problem solved

I love how your post managed to be less funny and cringy-er than his.

never post out of butthurt. user, it shows.

Not bad.

This.

No they didn't cause they all agreed he was a shitty paladin

Baby back Baby back Baby back ribs
Baby back Baby back Baby back ribs

Bring him/her up as a warrior, train it, when it reaches adulthood, make it fight you to live.

Cast polymorph

Hopefully they can add another wing to their temple with all those kids and money.

Did you read Orc Stain by any chance?

Another orphan. Great. Well, send them to the orphanage we've been running between adventures. Need somewhere to throw all those kids we end up finding.

Is a pretty good way to keep in the good graces of your favorite town. Take all those orphans and turn them into productive members of society, put some of that sweet loot back into the market by paying staff and buying supplies without having them be the huge ticket items.

Retire loved by dozens for giving them good lives, guilt free of the fact you killed all their parents. It was the best thing to happen to them. Honest.

>Orcs are a people

Good, and here I was worried about getting bored killing animals that walk on two feet. Hunting a man, or people if you will, is the most exciting type of hunt. You never know what they will try to do to survive.

If it’s not a retarded gotcha for the paladin, roll with whatever the party decides and see where it goes
If it is, slap the DM until he stops his faggotry

The only times I'm gonna find an orc baby, is when my orc wife and I had one together.
And of course, we're going to keep it.

Reddit: the comment

Assuming that
a) Orcs are inherently evil in the setting
b) Im playing a good or lawful character

Murdering it in a fast and painless way would be the moral thing to do

...

This but I use the principle of Gu; the Chinese poison method. In ancient times the Chinese would put a number of poisonous animals like spiders, snakes and scorpions into an urn together and seal it, then come back a day later. The sole surviving animal is said to have the strongest poison and is thus the one they use. Likewise, I will put the orc baby in a little box with the other babies, cast Rage on all of them and fuck off for Saturday with the boys before coming back and naming the winner my future companion.

Detect alignment. If the baby is inherently evil or not, you now know! Why is this even a question?

Why? Why can't you just stay on your containment board? Why do you have to shit up every other fucking board?

Because nu/tg/pol/ is the best board.

Depends on the setting.

In something like LotR I would first be baffled that orc babies exist, then I'd throw it off a cliff and feel bad for about 5 minutes.

But I love orcs and hate nignogs (the actual african ones are okayish tho). Orcs are closer to white thrash, eastern euros and the like.

>I will ignore contrarian settings in which orcs are 'just humans but talk funny dumb and stronk' and treat them as they are presented in their initial source materials.
Now this is some top tier autism. Why are you unable to accept that different settings may do things differently? Are you just so uncomfortable with change that you pretend it doesn't exist?

>Is an orc
>Loves orcs

Who would have thought?

Orcs don't fucking exist retard, how can I be one? There's no orcs on Veeky Forums.

Nice meme.

If people force it enough past this thread, you might actually convince everyone it has quality.

Kill it. In fact that was exactly what I did.

When DM tried to pull 'you fall', I simply pointed out that my god stands for good and as such he would prioritize the well being of good races. He immediately shut up.

Elaborate please. Haven't played setting with orks, what's special about them?

>Haven't played setting with orks
That's a goddamn accomplishment. What do you even play then?

Vampire the Masquerade

Because we're getting stronger.

All boards hate niggers.

That's something an Orc would say.

Actually to double down on this. My thought would be to train the orc as a special orc-hunter. It'd be easily capable of infiltrating orc societies and slaying their leaders

The idea is just "find some creature that may or may not be innately evil but will definitely grow up to be evil if left among its own kind, kill it Y/N?"

>Detec
/thread

depends on party and their motto. If they have time and desire, and if orc infants are accepted, then they could bring it to orphanage/caretakers. Of course, a party of remorseless cutthroats would probably not bother, and some cultists/warlocks would go as far as to sacrifice the baby for their selfish gains. Also, slavery.

Purge

Depends on my character, one wizard that particularly hates orcs would use it as part of his research to infect the the local clans with cannibalistic/ghoulish urges so they could kill each other even more often.

Same thing when pseudo philosophers go for the "If one baby in a hundred is to grow up the next Hitler, would you kill all of them to be sure to not have a new Hitler?":

Either tell them to fuck off with their high school philosophical dilemmas or explain that Hitler became the Hitler we know because of time, place and circumstance and if he were to reincarnate right now without his memories as a baby in Austria we wouldn't have a new Hitler as we historically know the guy.

>dilemma

>They were just boyz... they're dead now